As we draw to the end of LGBTQ History Month, the life and death of one U.S., gay sailor has been evocatively remembered in a viral Twitter thread. The posting comes from a Navy veteran, Shon (@shonwashed), who grew up in Memphis, Tennessee.
Shon’s mom and dad were marines and he followed in their footsteps. He joined the Navy as a Hospital Corpsman in 2004 and served primarily as a medic for the marines.
Shon took to Twitter on Tuesday to mark the anniversary of the death of another sailor, and how it impacted his mom’s reaction to his own coming out.
Allen R. Schindler Jr was a radioman in the US Navy who enlisted shortly after high school in ‘88. On this day in 1992, he was beaten to death by two of his shipmates for being gay. Although I never met him, this is a thread about his life and how he greatly impacted mine. pic.twitter.com/52ALIDoNT3
— Shon (@shonwashed) October 27, 2020
“Allen R. Schindler Jr was a radioman in the US Navy who enlisted shortly after high school in ‘88,” Shon began. “On this day in 1992, he was beaten to death by two of his shipmates for being gay. Although I never met him, this is a thread about his life and how he greatly impacted mine.
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“Allen was raised in Chicago Heights, Illinois. He came from a Navy family, his grandfather serving during WWII. Schindler wrestled with his sexuality before eventually coming out to his mother who simply thought he was confused. That ambiguity remained until his death.
Related: His family said he died from “a bad case of the flu,” but it was AIDS
“Allen’s Navy career was bittersweet. While he loved his job, the military at the time had a zero-tolerance policy for homosexuals. Unable to live as if he were ashamed, he disclosed his sexuality to his command through a prank that earned him non-judicial punishment.
“Word eventually spread around about Allen being gay. As a result, he faced constant verbal and physical abuse – even as he was preparing for discharge. While stationed in Sasebo, Japan, the harassment reached a climax in the form of a horrific hate crime.
“On October 27, 1992 while on liberty, Allen was cornered in a bathroom and beaten to death by two shipmates from his own command (men not worth naming). The attack was so vicious and left his body so unbelievably mangled, a close casket funeral was recommended.”
Indeed, the experienced forensic pathologist who examined Schindler, 22, said it was the most severe beating he’d ever seen.
Schindler sustained four fatal injuries: to his head, chest, and abdomen. Most of his major body organs were injured. He had multiple bone fractures on the back of his skull and around his eyes. The middle portion of his face was detached from his skull. His family was only able to identify him from a tattoo on his arm.
Related: Navy veteran discharged over sexuality is to get confiscated medal returned
Shon continues: “Allen’s mother, Dorothy Hajdys, was never given the complete details surrounding her son’s murder. She was only told that an altercation took place resulting in his death. She was never given a reason. She was also never informed of the harassment Allen endured for being gay.”
He says it took a reporter from Stars and Stripes newspaper to investigate the murder for the truth to come out.
“After the news broke, major LGBT rights organizations rallied and offered Dorothy support. Six months after Allen’s death, she was in Washington marching for gay rights.”
A fellow sailor was charged with Schindler’s killing. He pleaded guilty to “inflicting great bodily harm,” and is now serving a life sentence in jail. A second man pleaded guilty to lesser charges and was discharged from the Navy after a 78-day jail sentence.
“Like Allen, I struggled with my sexuality,” says Shon. “I was raised in a religious household, actively participated in church, and learned to hate myself before even knowing myself. I too left for the Navy shortly after high school. Unlike Allen, I never spoke to my mom about my ‘demons’.
“While at my first duty station in Okinawa, years of anxiety, and depression led to me breaking up with my longtime girlfriend. It would take another few months before I gained the courage to come out to my mom.
“I decided to tell her as I was ramping up for a CASEVAC deployment to Iraq. As dramatic as this sounds, I didn’t want to die without my family knowing who I am. After a few drinks, I called and finally told her. My confession was met with silence.
“My mom then awkwardly ended the conversation. A few months passed where she refused to speak to me without directly acknowledging that was her intent. Outside of emails containing bible passages, there was radio silence. I eventually accepted that I lost my mother.
“The relief I sought from coming out became my worst nightmare. My mom was my world. Although I reconciled with the idea I’d never speak to or see her again, I was still devastated and depressed. I eventually deployed but to Pakistan instead of Iraq. Still no word.
“A few months after we returned to Oki, I received an email from my her not containing a bible verse but instead an almost sterile request for a call. My heart broke. Although she’d cut off communication, it was still unofficial. I was worried my disownment would become formal.
“Nervously, I picked up the phone and dialed. ‘Hey, Mom, it’s me.’ She immediately began sobbing and apologizing for the way she treated me over the last year. She asked for my forgiveness, and through tears I quickly accepted. I had my mom back.
Related: U.S. Army Captain recounts experience of male-on-male sexual assault in the service
“Weeks after our reconciliation, I finally asked what changed her mind. It was something I wondered about. Her answer: Allen Schindler. I had no clue who she was talking about. She went on to tell me about a movie she caught on Lifetime called ‘Any Mother’s Son’.
“The movie was about Allen’s death, and his mother’s journey towards the truth. The striking parallels deeply resonated with her. We were both in the Navy, both in Japan, and both gay. His death also occurred within a week of my birthday.
“That movie, and Allen and Dorothy’s story helped open my mom’s eyes. She did not want to lose me, and decided the only alternative was complete acceptance. Allen was the catalyst. We went on to have an even stronger relationship than before.
“Four years later after passing out at work, doctors discovered my mom had a brain tumor. That tumor eventually progressed to brain cancer. She passed away two years later.
“Although our time together was short lived, I’m grateful for the six years we had together where I lived authentically with her unconditional love and complete acceptance. I will be forever grateful to Allen and his mother Dorothy for the roles they played in our lives.”
After being stationed at Camp Schwab Okinawa, Shon was deployed to Pakistan for six months following the country’s earthquake in 2005. From there he transferred to Cherry Point and deployed to Iraq twice. His final station was MCB Quantico. He now lives in Las Vegas with his husband and works for a start-up, Shift, that helps service members transition into tech careers.
Cam
This is what the Republican Party and Religious conservatives want for all of us.
They already reversed allowing Transpeople to serve, and they’re coming for the rest of of the LGBTQs. RIP Allen R. Schindler. It’s a shame we haven’t come further.
wtodd
Trans people CAN serve. Actively transitioning people (like others undergoing long-term medical procedures) cannot.
wikidBSTN
I remember this murder all too well. Horrifying then – horrifying now.
It was crimes like this (including the murder of Matthew Shepard) that really touched the conscience of America. The AIDS crisis had a similar effect – opening the country’s eyes to the profoundly disturbing hate and bigotry gays had to live and die with.
Seaman Schindler volunteered to fight for his country – to lay down his life if he had to. He didn’t sign up to die to advance gay rights, but that is ultimately what happened.
Personally, I think he deserves the Navy Cross or other worthy commendation for it. Surely it was brave to come out when he did in the environment that he did – and he died because of it. Surely he was a hero.
cuteguy
The GOP, including Moscow Mitch and Donald Chump, wants this for all gays. With their new hag rushed to the Supreme Court, all our rights and liberties are in jeopardy. They won’t be happy until we are all back in the closet like Lindsay Graham.
Cato
This has so many parallels with the case of Pvt. Barry Winchell, a soldier in the Army who was beaten to death in his sleep by a member of his unit in 1999 for being in a relationship with a trans woman . The movie Soldier’s Girl tells this sad story of serving under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
Celtic
Both sailors should have been hanged aboard ship for all to see. Period. They do not deserve to live out their normal lives. Time to get serious about 1st degree murder. Society owes them nothing.
GayEGO
I was in the Navy from 1959 thru 1963 and was a musician in the 1st Naval District Band as a flute player. I decided to live my life as who I am in 1962, the year I met my lifetime partner of 57 years. I kept my private life separate from my military duties and was honorably discharged. I have watched our advancements over the years and my partner and I became husbands in 2004 in Massachusetts. I worked as a software programmer for years and my husband was a electronics engineer, we retired and lived the American dream. We lived a NORMAL life as science reported in 1970 that we are part of our NORMAL civilization.
radiooutmike
Schindler’s murder certainly revokes that whole brothers-in-arms ideal that the military is fond of.
And even more I had a few friends who dropped out of college and went into the service in the late 1980s. They were gay and when they’d come home on a break; they told me there was gay shit going on all the time.
barryaksarben
This is what Trumps reelection will mean for many of us. IT is a move backwards in history and would allow the evangelical AMerican Taliban to dictate just how many rights we are allowed to keep and it wont be much. VOTE if you havent and NEVER for a republican
Rock Star
Those who continue to live in the past or dwell on the present are certain to miss the future.
Love thy neighbor as thyself.
It is the only law.
Judgement is mine saith the Lord.
Seth
I met Allen, one of the first guys I ever made out with, back in San Diego in 1990. I was from Indiana and he was from Illinois, so we bonded on escaping the midwest and remained friends until his murder. He was terrified of being shipped to Japan because he feared exactly what ended up happening. They brutalized him so severely that his mother had to identify him by his tattoos. He deserved better than to have the country he served with honor betray him and allow for/guarantee this kind of cruelty. He deserved better than to be a statistic in our losing war with toxic masculinity. He just deserved better and I miss him.
Heywood Jablowme
Thank you for your personal account of Allen. I’m a Navy veteran (1970s) and the U.S. ports in Japan, Yokosuka and Sasebo, had way too much fighting and drinking, and apparently got worse by the ’90s. Yokosuka was grim but bearable I thought, since Tokyo and Kamakura are nearby by train so at least there was plenty to see. Sasebo was worse, a pressure cooker where everyone just accepted the “fact” there was nothing to do but drink – which I realize now was probably not true. (Oh we did go to ground zero in Nagasaki, a different kind of grim experience.) I was the type of naive kid who enlisted without really thinking about being gay. No longer a life-or-death decision now, I hope, but yeah Trump would drag us backwards!
wiggie
enlisted in the Marines from 89-98 and eventually ended up in a highly specialized combat unit (only 300 members) for my last 4 years. Didn’t come out until a year before my discharge. When I told my team, their reaction was “we’ve known this for a while, just waiting for you to say something.” That’s when I found out that almost 15% of the unit was gay.
jonasalden
THIS is the reason why I mostly ignore my parents and answer their calls only when I feel like it. Contempt.