It’s not you, it’s him. Probably.
If you’ve been making eyes at your bulked-up gym crush for weeks and he still hasn’t given you the time of day (or asked for a spot at the benchpress), it might not be for lack of interest.
According to a report from Psychopharmacology, it could just be the juice talkin’.
How about we take this to the next level?
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The recent study based on 171 adult men found that those using anabolic-androgenic steroids –– typically for boosting testosterone and enhancing muscle mass –– are more likely to have trouble recognizing “facial emotional expressions.” Especially looks of anger and disgust.
(Suddenly, so many cringeworthy gym moments make sense.)
Researchers speculated that behavioral effects associated with steroid use, like “increased aggression, anxiety, depression, and personality disorders,” could even stem from the non-verbal impairment.
So, maybe the 6’4″, perfectly-sculpted Adonis you’re admiring while perched on the stationary bikes can’t tell that you’re interested.
Or, he’s just straight.
Nevertheless, steroid usage in the LGBTQ+ community has grown over the years as a means of maintaining a certain physique.
A 2017 study reported that 5.2% of gay and bisexual men in Australia were using the drugs. Furthermore, a sizable 21.6% of gay and bi gym goers in San Francisco’s Castro District admitted to taking steroids at some point.
And the reason why is often the same one that brings us to the gym in the first place: a desire to achieve society’s male beauty standards.
“Most gay men are humiliated by cultural standards of masculinity,” psychotherapist Adam Blum of Gay Therapy Center told Them.
“The worst thing about gay men in the eyes of the culture is that we often have more feminine qualities, so in some ways it makes total sense that we’d try to compensate for the shame that we’ve experienced by creating bodies that are the masculine ideal.”
That being said, the debate around brains and brawns might be shifting. Especially for those in the market for a serious relationship.
According to a new Brazilian study for Archives of Sexual Behavior, people tend to prioritize intelligence and kindness over attractiveness and money when selecting a partner.
Maybe nice guys don’t finish last after all?
The conclusion was based on responses from heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual individuals. But there were some interesting takeaways based on the LGBTQ+ community’s responses in particular.
Apparently, “preference for kindness was particularly pronounced amongst bisexual individuals.”
And interestingly enough, physical attractiveness was not as important to members of the queer community as it was for heterosexual men. But both gay men and straight women valued “social status” as a trait more than any other group.
So, instead of trying to silently communicate with your gym crush across the floor, try spelling it out for him.
Maybe inquire about his favorite piece of classic literature if you’re looking for something more.
Or, just say nothing and tweet about it instead. Whatever gets you through a workout!
Check out some of our fave posts about gym crushes below.
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bachy
“And interestingly enough, physical attractiveness was not as important to members of the queer community as it was for heterosexual men. But both gay men and straight women valued social status as a trait more than any other group.”
I found that to be an interesting detail. Is the study saying that gay men seek “high social status males” like powerful politicians, Forbes 100 CEOs, Academy Award-winning actors, international philanthropists, Pulitzer prize-winners, billionaires…? These are not qualities I look for in potential boyfriends so I’m curious to know if people agree with the study…?