Everyone is Unhappy About the Benedict Cumberbatch Erotic Fanfic Disaster

cumberbatch-showerThis weekend, something very weird happened. It should have been sexy, but instead it was just embarrassing — and not in a fun spanky way.

At a preview of Sherlock‘s third season at the British Film Institute, moderator Caitlin Moran surprised stars Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman by handing them some erotic fan fiction she found online, and requested they read it.

According to audience reports, as is often the case when mainstream tastes detect even a hint of kink, Moran presented the fanfic as mocking and silly and campy and lame. Because gosh, how stupid of people to be passionate about something.

To their credit, Cumberbatch and Freeman did their best to humor Moran’s ill-conceived comedy bit. Though reluctant, they read a few passages of the online erotica. It involves some kissing and fondling and sexytime and it’s pretty hot.

Of course, word of what happened got back to the woman who wrote the passage, a married mother of two, and her response is pretty much as classy as can be:

To Martin and Benedict I would say: I am so sorry you had to do that, it must have been very uncomfortable and I’m absolutely mortified my work was shown to you. It certainly wasn’t done with my permission. …

To Caitlin? Thank you for spoiling something I found joy in. Thank you for humiliating me, taking my writing out of context without permission, belittling it and using it to embarrass actors who I deeply admire. Thank you for tainting the one thing sometimes that gets me through the day when I have two screaming kids, someone’s drawn on the walls in their own poo, and I have to drive through peak hour traffic yet again because my husband’s forgotten his glasses for work. Thanks for that support, Caitlin. …

What gets me is that this is probably the only interaction I will ever have with those two actors. I’m not going to go to a premiere, I’m not going to go watch the filming, I probably won’t ever go to a convention, I’m not going to send fan mail, I don’t even reblog paparazzi photos. I certainly don’t send them links to my fics and ask them read them.  I just want to sit here at home enjoying the show, buy the DVDs, pay to see their movies and share my love of it all with other fans, minding my own business. So that’s it, the one bit of contact I have with them, and it’s about humiliation and mockery. …

Well, ugh. Rumor has it that Moran got yelled at after the event and is apologetic, but we’ve seen nothing to corroborate that, so who knows. In the mean time, keep enjoying that slash fiction everyone, and don’t let the creeps fan-shame you into silence.

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  • 7JoysInRepetition

    What an absolute dick of a man. Why do that? I feel for the woman who wrote the fanfic… Of course, I adore myself a bit of man on man action Sherlock fic, but come on! I’m cringing just thinking about them being pressured to read that stuff in front of an audience of a few thousand, without actually wanting to. Its just not fair for them at all. I’m sure that they can appreciate and care for their fans, knowing that a lot of them write stuff like this, but making them read it out loud to an audience is just uncomfortable.

  • Captain proton

    @7JoysInRepetition: Caitlin Moran is a woman, so “dick of a man” probably isn’t right, but the general sentiment can be applied just as well with the female anatomy counterpart.

  • CaptainFabulous

    Um… why would you post your fanfic online if you didn’t want people to read it? Sounds like this woman needs professional help. I dunno, if famous stars read anything I wrote I would be overjoyed.

  • balehead

    Caitlin Moran is a dick…..not funny…just a real hater of men…

  • 2eo

    @CaptainFabulous: I’d be thrilled if famous people read what I wrote and acted it out.

    “Dear Kanye West. Kindly slit your own throat and make that horrible mutant of a wife watch, causing her miscarriage”

    Sincerely 2eo.

  • AuntieChrist

    I have never really understood the whole fan thing…Since the word is derived from fanatic. Showing evidence of possession by a god or demon; frenzied, overzealous… Rather than obsessing over a show or actors I should think she would be more focused on her artistic child, sounds like she may have a future Jackson Pollock on her hands :-O

  • alterego1980

    @AuntieChrist: A little over board, maybe?
    I get where she is coming from. People typically put their stuff out there, especially art/writing to be celebrated not mocked. It was tasteless of Moran to do that.

  • Mark

    I think Cumberbatch and Freeman need to show up at this woman’s house and make out in front of her. Preferably with camera’s rolling.

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