Here’s a scientifically-proven fact that’s neither too trite nor too tired to put in print:
The combined wattage of handsome men and delicious pizza is far too powerful — and far too dangerous — for any mere mortal to face head on.
That’s why we implore you to reach through your computer screen to don these protective goggles before you read any further:
Okay, perfect. Here goes:
Some guy named Cheyenne Parker — featured last summer on Logo’s reality show Fire Island — has photographed himself eating pizza.
The sophisticated Trompe-l’œil portrait is a classic piece of artistic misdirection, and a beguiling optical illusion to boot: What at first appears to be merely a picture of mouthwatering pizza slowly pans out to reveal there’s also a handsome man in the foreground. If you don’t see him right away, take a few steps away from your computer screen to let the full image come into focus.
Do you see him now?
But don’t think eating pizza is all Cheyenne can do. His Instagram feed demonstrates he’s able-bodied and varied in his interests and proclivities.
We’re now scrolling endlessly through all his fleshy moments while exes find true love, mom waits eagerly for our phone call, the project dearest to our heart languishes forgotten on the hard drive, and old friends find the courage to move on with their lives without our toxic presence hampering their happiness.
? Who's the leader of the club That's made for you and me M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there You're as welcome as can be M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E Come along and sing the song And join the jamboree! M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E #mouseketeer #mickeyliftstoo #musclemouse #imamouseduh #onwednesdaywewearversace