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He delivers

‘Fire Island’ star shares pizza pic but fans have a different topping in mind

By Derek de Koff November 19, 2017 at 12:11pm · 9 comments

Here’s a scientifically-proven fact that’s neither too trite nor too tired to put in print:

The combined wattage of handsome men and delicious pizza is far too powerful — and far too dangerous — for any mere mortal to face head on.

Related: It’s time to watch SNL’s genius take on Logo’s new ‘Fire Island’ reality show

That’s why we implore you to reach through your computer screen to don these protective goggles before you read any further:

Okay, perfect. Here goes:

Some guy named Cheyenne Parker — featured last summer on Logo’s reality show Fire Island — has photographed himself eating pizza.

The sophisticated Trompe-l’œil portrait is a classic piece of artistic misdirection, and a beguiling optical illusion to boot: What at first appears to be merely a picture of mouthwatering pizza slowly pans out to reveal there’s also a handsome man in the foreground. If you don’t see him right away, take a few steps away from your computer screen to let the full image come into focus.

Do you see him now?

?Want a slice!? Pizza Pizza!! #cheatday #pizza #nomnomnom #grabaslice #getitwhileitshot

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Nov 9, 2017 at 11:55pm PST

But don’t think eating pizza is all Cheyenne can do. His Instagram feed demonstrates he’s able-bodied and varied in his interests and proclivities.

We’re now scrolling endlessly through all his fleshy moments while exes find true love, mom waits eagerly for our phone call, the project dearest to our heart languishes forgotten on the hard drive, and old friends find the courage to move on with their lives without our toxic presence hampering their happiness.

Join us.

#mexico

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Nov 12, 2017 at 2:08pm PST

Escapism at its finest ??Nap time. #rest #recover #regroup #relax #dream #discover

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Nov 2, 2017 at 5:23pm PDT

Tear off the wrapper and expose your true self to the world… Pave your road with Crystal clear intention…Set your own goals… Be your own motivation… Raise the bar higher. #waterbottle #symbolism #reach #refine #defeat #recharge #revamp #makeshithappen

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Oct 25, 2017 at 4:49pm PDT

Game ON. #ballsinmycourt

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Oct 20, 2017 at 3:52pm PDT

TBT – Wet T-Shirt contest – Spring Break 1987! ? @travislanephoto #sweat #wet #gotmegoinlikeaturbovet

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Oct 19, 2017 at 3:44pm PDT

Found this old pic. I’ve been slacking. Time to start two a days at the gym! #fitness #dedication #keepmoving #longhairdontcare

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Oct 15, 2017 at 4:39pm PDT

THROW BACK… #tbt #longhair #clearlydontcare #baby

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Oct 12, 2017 at 4:22pm PDT

Beefcake tbt… #tbt #outofcontentatthemoment ?

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Oct 5, 2017 at 6:19pm PDT

Turnt back Tuesday… Long & Blonde ?Photo: @dylanrosser #art #photography #dylanrosser #ibiza

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Sep 26, 2017 at 1:35pm PDT

Central Park Summer 17' shot by: @maxmstein #nyc #summer #hanroofswitzerland

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Sep 14, 2017 at 10:36am PDT

CLINOMANIA (n.) An excessive desire to stay in bed. ponunciation | "klin-O-'mAn-E-a (klin-O-MAYN-ee-ah) #clinomaniac #thatsme #spinclass #spent #harlem #nyc

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Aug 24, 2017 at 7:26pm PDT

? Who's the leader of the club That's made for you and me M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there You're as welcome as can be M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E Come along and sing the song And join the jamboree! M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E #mouseketeer #mickeyliftstoo #musclemouse #imamouseduh #onwednesdaywewearversace

A post shared by THE CHEYENNE PARKER™ (@thecheyenneparker) on Aug 2, 2017 at 12:05pm PDT

 

Goods Cheyenne Parker Fire Island Logo
View Comments9

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9 Comments

  • mattachinepodcast

    Why… ? What the hell has this “publication” become?

    November 19, 2017 at 12:11pm
  • terminalose

    I see sluts, EVERYWHERE

    November 19, 2017 at 2:11pm
    • lessthan

      They… they should have sent a poet…

      November 19, 2017 at 6:11pm
  • Xzamilloh

    Great body… but for Instagram standards, this has “basic bitch” written all over it. Also, another Fire Island guy did a bareback gangbang…. so, yeah.

    November 19, 2017 at 3:11pm
  • Brian

    He seems like a basic boring b-ch, but I give you 4 stars for that silly headline.

    November 19, 2017 at 10:11pm
  • socaliscorpio

    somehow i doubt he ate much of the pizza

    November 20, 2017 at 3:11pm
  • radiooutmike

    Hot guy with terrible choice in pizza!

    November 20, 2017 at 3:11pm
  • nitejonboy

    I like him better with the trimmed facial hair rather than the beard. Looks hotter.

    November 20, 2017 at 10:11pm
  • ham

    Sexy body, but someone help him manage the hair! All I saw was overclipped poodle.

    November 20, 2017 at 11:11pm

Comments are closed.

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