When 34-year-old gay New Jersey resident Ronnie Arnau went to the Living Fresh Men’s Spa in Chelsea, Manhattan for a massage last month, he expected “a normal massage.” But he claims the spa’s masseur began caressing his buttocks and genitals 10 minutes into the massage.
So now Arnau is suing for sexual assault.
According to a lawsuit filed in the Manhattan Supreme Court, masseur Pei Tian began focusing “exclusively on Arnau’s buttocks for an inordinate amount of time,” making Arnau very uncomfortable.
“As Arnau became more and more uncomfortable with Tian’s focus on his buttocks,” the lawsuit continues, “Tian moved his fingers below Arnau’s buttocks and began caressing [his genitals]…. At no point had Arnau indicated, orally or otherwise, that he consented to Tian touching his penis. Nor did he ever indicate any desire for him to do so.”
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The lawsuit says that Arnau was so creeped out that he froze. When Tian removed Arnau’s towel and told him to turn over, Arnau sat up, asked Tian to leave the room and then immediately called the police. Tian was arrested shortly after.
Related: Antigay pastor busted for allegedly soliciting sex at local massage parlor
Though the Living Fresh Men’s Spa has since told the media that it’s “not that kind of spa,” Tian reportedly still works there despite being charged with “forcible touching and sexual abuse.”
Arnau’s lawsuit alleges that the spa knows about such sexual massages but does nothing to stop them.
“While people may laugh about the sexualization of spas [with] happy endings or locker room orgies,” Arnau’s lawyer, Carrie Goldberg wrote, “the vast majority of people go to spas for healing and relaxation, not sex.”
Indeed, the perception that massage parlors are sexual spaces creates room for misunderstandings. humiliations and possible sexual assault. For many massage therapists, massage is a non-sexual form of healing, but being seen as a sex worker creates problems.
In 2010, masseur Jason Knight wrote, “Whether straight or gay, therapists frequently battle homophobia from straight male clients who assume all male therapists are gay and looking to exploit their position for sexual pleasure. Conversely, therapists battle the extreme opposite with gay clientele who are looking for sexual pleasures from male therapists. On either side of the coin, being a legitimate gay male therapist can be nearly impossible.”
While erotic forms of massage exist, people should be able to participate in massage at public businesses without the expectation of sex. If you really want a sexy massage, there are websites and bathhouses for that.
Chrisk
Oh come on. A men’s spa in Chelsea? How naive can you be. Ronnie Arnau sounds like an uptight little bit#h trying to score some money from the business.
Wicked Dickie
What a stupid thing to say. So every person in Chelsea is gay and looking for sex? If the roles were reversed and the client kept arching his ass up or had an erection, is the masseuse obligated to give him release?
Vince
@Wicked Dickie. Have you been living under a rock? When someone starts massaging your ass for “an inordinate amount of time” and you’re ok with that then that’s a signal that more is welcome that most of us understand.
Really getting sick of these “I was so scared I froze” BS stories of rape. Just don’t cum in my ass. Lol Grow up girls.
Caligari
@Wicked Dickie
“When 34-year-old GAY New Jersey resident Ronnie Arnau went to…” etc.
jkb
Not sure what the masseuse was supposed to think when you don’t tell him to stop mauling your ass.
Alton
RIGHT.
dean089
Exactly. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t get up and leave, he just let it happen. There was no “forcible.” There was no “abuse.” Stories like this only serve to discredit genuine incidents of assault.
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Caligari
Masseur, dear. Masseuses are women.
MikeM
Masseur
BadFish8119
I’ve had this happen to me a bunch of times at different massage places, most recently on Fort Lauderdale, I just always tell them to stop and continue a regular massage, ended up being one of the best massages I’ve had, just kept it moving.
Bob Scardino
Address please.
Officiant
That happened to my wife once.
GayEGO
Naughty! Naughty! Tiel should not have massaged those body parts because it was not a sexual service!
fur_hunter
There is an old expression. ‘NEVER mix business with pleasure.’ It applies here. Sorry, Guys. The guy doing the massage should never have ASSUMED. This is very similar to guys that grab the @$$es of women, thinking it’s OK. WRONG!
justyouandi
There are muscles in the glutes (the ass) that absolutely should be massaged. There are muscles all the way up the inner thigh that for a complete and non-sexual massage should be massaged. Even in a non-sexual massage there may be contact with the penis. Lingering there is the fine line that may be crossed, and if the client doesn’t want any more contact with his penis than would come from the masseur doing his job while working on the inner thigh and pelvis, he can indicate that. But just having touched it while the masseur is doing his job is no reason for any guy to be upset.
Having said that, Tian may have crossed that line, but Arnau, by his own admission, did nothing to communicate what he wanted. It could be said here that Arnau’s silence was consent. I don’t believe for one moment that Arnau didn’t walk into that spa with the intent of doing exactly what he did. He “set up” Tian. Arnau loves being a victim and all the attention he is getting from this.
I stopped going to chain massage spas or hotel spas a long time ago. They wrap you up like a mummy, and uncover only the one body part they are working on, and mostly don’t even touch the middle third of your body. I go to the privately owned massage places where they offer to cover you with only a towel, and are perfectly willing to not cover you at all if you request it. I know then that my whole body is going to get the attention I want. If the therapist starts to pay more attention to my genitals than I want I just calmly say, “That’s okay. You don’t have to do that.” And we move on.
Paco
I guess the masseur wasn’t his type.
Charles21
I think so. Whatever spa it is very sexy. Perhaps it was a bad day for him.
Yooper
Call me old fashioned, but a massage isn’t a massage without happy ending.
Chrisk
That’s what I was thinking. This must be a millennial thing.
bobbibubbi
I can’t stand this new generation who feel assimilation and *disappearance* into straight culture is the thing to strive for. Props to anyone who wants to lead a prude-y, straight and narrow lifestyle…go ahead marry that one guy, stay monogamous and adopt/in-vitro some kids…more power to you. But keep that arbitrary social construct of hetero-normative life away from me. To be completely honest this story angers me because it feels like a betrayal on the gay community. In a fantastical utopian world where we exist exactly as equals to straights…I can see how the masseur’s behavior would be shocking and upsetting. (Because theoretically, no gay would ever go to a place like this to get his rocks off). But we’re not there yet. I live down the street from this place, and it’s pretty explicit who this spa caters to and it’s not really all that shocking that this happens. I notice that it’s a predominantly Asian staff that caters to older men, probably a lot from a previous generation that is used to doing things on the sly. For this guy to get so high and mighty is infuriating.
james7
CAN THIS GUY BE GAY AND BE HOMOPHOBIC AT THE SAME TIME. He was just getting what most men expect. It’s easy to just get up and get dressed and go home. Calling the police is like something a hysterical woman would do.
Hussain-TheCanadian
I dont know about you all but I prefer going to the Turkish bath houses, not only do they crack your bones, they remove all the dead skin off if your body. Then you’re left there with a cold towel to relax.
Bob
assume, huh? As in make an ass of u and me ????
Charles21
Whatever spa it is very sexy. Perhaps was not a good day for him. Think in other spa next time.
DarkZephyr
I’m sorry for this guy that he was sexually assaulted, but his claims in the lawsuit confuse me.
“Arnau’s lawsuit alleges that the spa knows about such sexual massages but does nothing to stop them.”
If this happened to him the one time, how does he know about “such sexual massages” plural and that the spa knows about them? How did he learn all of that from his one experience?
Hussain-TheCanadian
Excellent catch, the spa’s lawyer might have a counter sue for defamation? This might get ugly.
Chrisk
Yes ditto on the good catch.
We now know that he knew that this was going on so why did he go to this place if this was an issue for him?
My guess is he was looking for $. This service is still illegal and what a great set-up.
calpoidog
Legally the spa, as the masseur’s employer, cannot be responsible for the guy’s damages if it did not know this was something going on so the “knowledge” piece is required to be pled or the spa would be entitled to have the lawsuit dismissed (the masseur could be on the hook still as an individual but without the spa’s deep pockets).
P.S. Thank you Mr. Arnau for wrecking it for the rest of us. 🙂
Alton
I’m extremely weary of “sexual assault” allegations that boil down to a lack of saying, “Hey, stop doing that.”
Itsonlythetruth
A 34 year old man and you froze when someone was playing with your junk. Man up and put a stop to it. I think he doesth protest too much.
batesmotel
I don’t know many men that would turn down a happy ending. Suing is ridiculous. He should’ve just left quickly if it was that bothersome.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
“exclusively on Arnau’s buttocks for an inordinate amount of time,” making Arnau very uncomfortable”
Sorry Missy you allow someone to be groping you for an “inordinate amount of time” means you are either looking for some sex or a lawsuit….
I call BS, just another false claim of “sexual assault” from a false “victim”
nitejonboy
Some of you people should be ashamed of yourselves!! He stopped the man from touching him intimately because he has class and he didn’t want it. Not all men subscribe to this 1970’s view of sex in these type of places. If he’d wanted a happy ending he would have indicated it from the get go. I commend him for his actions and wish more people were like him instead of being horn dogs.
SportGuy
Most likely the guy was not his type.
bowlingbutch
He didn’t say “Stop” or “I don’t want that”. This person is looking for $$$ and that’s all this is about. What 34 year old man freezes and can’t say that one word “Stop”. He should be embarrassed by saying he froze when the little masseuse massaged his butt and touched his genitals. Waa Waa Waa all the way home. Yep this is a set-up. The spa should counter sue.
laidbackdude69
I can’t believe I’m commenting on this, but I feel I should. Everyone has valid points and I’d like to add one more. In my experience, any time someone “freezes”, there are very tell-tale signs in how the body reacts. Mainly, people tense up. If that were truly the case, the therapist would have noticed (and felt) it right away and said something. No massage therapist would risk hurting their clients regardless of how the massage “ends”. I’m afraid I have to agree that this “victim” targeted this place on purpose.
Tarutaru
I don’t understand why he got so “creeped” out he froze and let it happen. He should have stopped it right away and complained to management. First of all, rape is when you say no and they force you. Grabbing your dick without consent is a different story. It’s not exactly rape, it’s a gray area.
surfpenis
When I go to my spa and pay $125 for a massage, I *expect* the masseuse to jerk my dick off.