Get ready to drool as we explore our next gay male fetish… spit!

The famous Greek philosopher Diogenes once said, “In a rich man’s house, there is no place to spit but his face.”

Degrading? Maybe. Arousing? Millions of gay men think so.

Much like a sweaty male armpit, when you conjure up the image of someone spitting, your first instinct might be to grimace. After all, what’s hot about a liquid substance full of digestive enzymes, uric acid, electrolytes, mucus-forming proteins, and cholesterol? Those are literally the different compounds that make up the slimy substance in our mouths, which help you break down food, swallow it, and clean your teeth afterward.

Turned on yet? Possibly not, but bring the slimy love-juice into the bedroom, and suddenly it can take on a completely different meaning for many gay men.

Love it or hate it, spit (or being spit on, especially during sex) is another popular fetish in our community, and though there are fancy names for various other predilections involving body fluids such as urine (urophilia), or even vomit (emetophilia), there doesn’t yet seem to be an official name for the sexual gratification associated with being spit on.

The closest relative might be what’s known as “wet and messy fetishism” (WAM)”, also known as sploshing, which is is a form of gratification whereby a person becomes aroused when copious amounts of a substance are applied to the naked skin, face, or to clothing.

Based on our conversations with spit-lovers in the queer community, however, the spit fetish isn’t so much about the substance itself being on them, but about the act of transferring the saliva from one person to another. In other words, it’s more about the spit, less about the saliva.

Whether it be hocking a loogie on someone’s chest during an aggressive domination act, or a seductive drooping of saliva from one mouth to another during an intense foreplay scene, spit lovers seem to have varying reasons for why they love the translucent mouth-goo. We spoke with several, who each gave us some interesting intel about why they’re turned on by the act.

For one 28-year old Latin man who chose to remain anonymous (let’s call him “Jerry”), spitting represented an aggressive act of marking one’s territory. He told us that as far back as he can remember, when walking up to urinal in a public bathroom, the first thing he’s always done is is spit into it, before he begins to do his business.

He describes it at something instinctual that he really almost does unconsciously, but said it feels like he’s sort of “owning” his spot, and signaling to others in the bathroom to keep their distance. He feels similar about spitting on a willing partner.

“Jerry” goes on to describe that during sex, he loves the idea of sort of “dominating” his partner by spitting on them, and says his boy-toys are driven wild by the fact that he’s so “aggressive, crude, and authoritarian”, something they associate with masculinity. He likens it to something almost in the BDSM spectrum, where he can feel like the “master”, who spits onto his “sub” to almost degrade them, but in a consensual way that makes them feel deferential in the hottest way possible.

The TikTok video below shows a man channeling his best “high school bully”, giving us a small glimpse into this spit-dominance kind of energy, adequately captioned, “on your knees, piggy”. The hashtags include #bully, #gay, #spit, and #humiliation.

@bitokpig

#gay #goon #tiktokboys #Bigboys #Bully #Humiliation #Gooners #spit

? original sound – BiGoonerPig

In another video, a shirtless gay boy outside his gym describes witnessing a man intentionally spit on the ground in front of him, and shares how he sees the degrading act as “kink shaming”. You might think that’s a bad thing, but according to this guy, it’s “so dirty, yet so right.”

@nikoknights

? original sound – Mase

In our continued exploration into the phenomena, we also met “John”, a white man in his 40’s, who has a different explanation for why he can’t get enough of being spit on in the bedroom. For him, it’s more about the idea of adding additional lubrication into the scenario.

“Spit is the most intimate form of lubrication, as it comes directly from your lover’s body. Wet. Sensual. Natural. It can make sex that much more personal between you and your partner.”

“John” goes on to say that he actually much prefers using spit over a store-bought lubricant, because it feels much more “animalistic and raw”. He sees regular lubricant as almost a “barrier” to something purely about the body and its natural juices.

Something tells us he probably isn’t a big fan of a a condom either. 🙂

To understand more about the mindset of gay men who love spit, we reached out prominent expert in the field of sex psychology, Dr. Chris Donaghue, a renowned sex therapist, and the author of the book Rebel Love. Interestingly, he says that sometimes we simply have to be okay with not knowing the “why”.

“Each individual’s eroticism and what arouses them, has multiple causes coming from a complex set of various sources,” he says. “Everyone has a different reason for what turns them on.”

He continues, “the beauty of arousal is that you can eroticize anything.  A powerful cause is often the pairing of a behavior, object, or scenario, with a highly arousing partner or experience. This association is then internalized.”

“The most important thing is to normalize the diverse ways you can be erotic with yourself and with partners, and find the confidence to engage in the types of sex that truly turn you on. It’s important psychological work because our total self-esteem includes our sexual self-esteem. An important developmental milestone is accepting and fully integrating your full sexuality.” Amen!

When pressed again, “But why…spit?”, Dr. Donaghue, doubles down.

“For most kinks, the work is about being ok with not fully knowing why you are the way you are. Your sexual desire will always pose questions you cannot answer. The psychological challenge is to accept the divide between your sexuality and trying to make sense of it.“

That’s good news for the millions of spit lovers out there, who should embrace whatever turns them on, without making too much meaning of it.

Currently, there’s about 932 adult video clips on Pornhub under the category “Spit Fetish Gay Porn Videos”, and hundreds of others are sharing “spit links” on Reddit.

There’s even threads inquiring about appropriate boundaries in spitting. “Would he have liked that I full-on spit in his face or is that too intense/disrespectful?”, one person asks. Another inquires, “Does the saliva have to be clean or are you into dirty spit (mixed with food or mucus)? I don’t mean to be gross just very curious.”

Additionally, spitting is all over TikTok, with hashtags like #spittok (186.9 million views), #spit (488.2 million views), and #spitqueen (2 million views). Check out just a sampling below.

@meytarmeyer

#fyp #gay #gaytiktok #funny

? original sound – EddieHearnOriginals

@skyl3r22

#stitch with @whosyour_mackdaddy sir.. #lgbt #fyp #gaytiktokers? #trending #trend #newtothis #fu #spit #MakeItCinematic #gay I mean..

? original sound – skyler ??

Even in pop culture, there’s no shortage of spit intrigue. Gays were utterly captivated by #spitgate back in September, when it was reported that Harry Styles may have spit on his “Don’t Worry Darling” co-star Chris Pine at the Venice Film Festival (Pine later denied this allegation, much to the dismay of many).

Movies and television shows are even amping up the trend, such as in this epic display of man-spitting from 2021’s Dune, where the loogie is described as “gift of your body’s moisture.”

From the looks of it, the spitting fetish isn’t going away any time soon. And why should it? If you try it, you might actually like it. If not, well, hey…sometimes we end up spitting into the wind.

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