Grindr Has Ruined Absolutely EVERYTHING, Disgruntled Blogger Laments


Donny Meacham is not happy, guys. In fact, he’s very, very, very unhappy. With a lot of things. But especially with Grindr.

Meacham channels his inner Carrie Bradshaw in an absolutely groundbreaking new op-ed published by Elite Daily titled “3 Ways Grindr Has Ruined Everything About Dating In The Gay Community.”

Related: These Awkward #GrindrFails All But Guarantee A Night Alone

“I am a queer single male in NYC,” the piece begins. “You would think dating would be easy because there are thousands of queer guys all around me.Well, if you think that, you are WRONG.”

Why is this? Well, if the title of Meacham’s op-ed didn’t give it away, then this line certainly does: “I’m just going to go ahead and say it: Grindr has RUINED dating.”

Meacham’s first grievance with the popular gay dating app is that it offers far too many options.

“When you log onto Grindr, you have minimum of 50 horny thumbnails waiting to literally do just about anything you could think of,” he writes. “Doesn’t that sound more interesting than having sex with the same person twice a week?”

Actually, it sounds exhausting. But maybe that’s just us.

Related: Doctor Explains Why You’re Addicted To Grindr

Meacham’s second grievance has to do with the way we talk to one another. Or rather, the way we don’t talk to one another.

“On Grindr,” he writes, “you can have an entire conversation simply by using only two words at once. Sup? Looking? Into? You host? Send location?”

“In person,” he continues, “you have to actually use a little more effort. Hell, you might actually have to ask me personal questions. Scary, huh? No, that’s what normal life is like. You’re just a lazy bastard who doesn’t want to put in the effort.”

Guilty as charged.

But his fury doesn’t stop there. Meacham goes off on a brief tangent to express his extreme dissatisfaction with receiving unsolicited dick pics from guys he barely knows.

“When dating me,” he writes, “I absolutely do not want to see a pic of any part of your body within the first few messages. A cute pic of you with a mullet in elementary school is much better.”


Related: Bottom Shame With A Side Of “No Asian”: A Message For All You Racist Grindr Users Out There

But Meacham’s primary issue with Grindr is that it is far too time efficient.

“I think this is the most important thing,” he writes. “When it comes to dating, it takes time, which is something most of us do not have a lot of. You have to take the time to get to know someone, set up a date when you’re both free and then actually go on the date.”

Grindr doesn’t allow for his, he says, which is why it has ruined everything.

“Most gay guys are really all about convenience,” he adds. “Oh, and sex, too. So, why not just use Grindr where you can intermix convenience and sex? Where you can sit at home, eat Chinese food, watch ‘The Golden Girls’ and set up a hookup at the same time?”

Good question. Why not?

“So, I’ll say it again,” he concludes. “Grindr has ruined dating.”

Related: Why Do So Many Guys On Grindr Act Like Complete Idiots?

h/t: Elite Daily

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  • Heywood Jablowme

    NYC is great but it’s not a place for relationships or real dating. Everyone there is super-busy working all the time, trying to make money to pay the rent. The best you can hope for is a quickie at 2:30 pm, don’t be late or run overtime. But that’s hot sometimes!

  • Heywood Jablowme

    And it’s not the fault of Grindr, NYC HAS ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY. Possibly Grindr has made it a little worse in that respect. But just enjoy it for what it is. If lightning strikes and you really hit it off with a casual trick, that’s great.

  • michael

    Don’t know how it works in NYC (aside from watching Sex in the City.) I live in Chicago and met my partner on Manhunt 8 years ago. We hooked-up, hooked-up again, had a date… eventually fell in love and moved in together. Not that much different from meeting in a bar, hooking-up, etc. We have an open relationship and I meet guys for sex on Grindr once or twice a month. I don’t hook-up with the “sup” or “woof” guys, I prefer an exchange of witty/sexy banter over a few days or months to get a sense of their education level/personality. Have had some quickies, have had some relaxed sexy evenings, and have made a few FWBs. I enjoy the hook-up apps, enjoy the online cruise and the anticipation. And, for some reason, I often wind up having sex with better-looking men that I would ever meet in a bar.

  • notevenwrong

    Grindr really isn’t all that great for dating, and for quick hookups Grindr is SO MUCH WORK compared to, say, a bathhouse. For every 20 guys hitting you up on Grindr you’re lucky if one of them is actually available at any given time, because of course they are all having 20 conversations with other guys too.

    But let’s not look at the past with rose-colored glasses. Bars used to be really difficult places to meet people too. Now of course everyone only talks to their friends in bars anymore, so it is worse, but not that much worse. Maybe NYC used to be different, but most New England guys used to be like that in bars even before Grindr.

  • Guy068

    Meacham isn’t describing dating at all when he talks of Grindr. It’s the modern equivalent of hitting the bathhouse or that restroom in the park way off in the corner. Dating is still like it’s always been…

  • crowebobby

    There was always the risk of too much info even back in the good old days, i.e., that bit of off-duty-Marine rough (you thought) letting you know he owned every record Judy’d ever made.

  • AxelDC

    There are plenty of dating sites for gay guys out there. I met my guy on OkCupid, but that was 6 years ago If you don’t want to hook up, don’t use a hook up site. Use a site for guys looking for old fashioned dating: dinner, drinks, and then making out.

  • Scribe38

    These sites are what you make of them… If you don’t want penis pictures or to hook-up place it in your profile. People only do what you allow them to. BE CLEAR WHAT YOU WANT. I use to have in my profile that “I want to hang out and date before seeing someone naked” and guess what most folks respected that. People knew when we met sex was off the table during the 1st date and it worked out great for me.

  • Doughosier

    I agree with the writer. Too many options are not necessarily a good thing.

  • robho3

    This is the way of the world in 2016 (straight people do it too). If you don’t like it don’t go on the ap. Most people know you aren’t gonna find a relationship on a hook up site just like 20-30 year ago horny gays went to the bathhouse and bushes in central pak and they didn’t go there to find a husband. Adapt to change or crawl into a hole and die.

  • Chris

    So if you don’t like Grindr, here’s a thought: don’t use it.

  • QJ201

    Yes I always buy my clothes sight unseen and bitch when they don’t fit

    This Child is to young to remember spending all night cruising and chatting some dude in a bar and getting all into him just to find out Hours later that you aren’t a match sexually

  • viveutvivas

    @QJ201, Grindr typically also takes hours of chat with a number of people, only to find out, in many cases despite his pictures, you aren’t a match sexually when he arrives at your front door, and then it is extra awkward.

    Unless you have very specific requirements (like a fetish or being a junky), in a bar, coffee shop, or on the street, you could usually see if you are likely to have chemistry within a second or two of observing him, just by the way he carries himself and the vibes he puts out. This immediately rules out a lot of guys you would otherwise spend useless hours of chatting with on Grindr just because they happen to have flattering pictures.

  • Mykaels

    Rose colored glasses. Apparently people forget all the hassle of trying to hook up before grindr

  • miserylovedme24

    @Guy068: Exactly my thought. If you’re on Grindr looking for actual dates, you’re doing it wrong. You should know what you’re getting when you open that app.

  • Matt Achine

    @Heywood Jablowme: That’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read about NYC, period. Slutty gays don’t define the relationship prospects of an entire city.

  • Heywood Jablowme

    @Matt Achine: You missed the point entirely. It’s not that they’re slutty (necessarily) or that NYC turns people into sluts. It’s that they are so busy working they have little time for what people outside NYC would consider traditional dating.

    Meacham blames Grindr for supposedly doing damage to gay dating, but he lives in NYC, which is where dating goes to die. If he wants a serious dating life I suggest he move. And as other posters here say, Grindr isn’t even for dating, it’s for hookups. He seems quite confused! He’s like someone who hates hamburgers but keeps going to McDonald’s anyway.

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