IF YOU WERE GAY

Guess Which Closeted Republican Will Be Among The First To Marry In NYC

Hair isn’t the only Broadway musical that’s celebrating a gay wedding this weekend. There’s a certain semi-famous, closeted Republican finally tying the knot  with his same-sex partner on Sunday. Here’s a hint: it’s not Charlie Crist.

The Wall Street Journal reports:

Off Broadway (though it used to be On), Avenue Q will mark [marriage equality] by having Rod and Ricky, the same-sex puppets who have met and fallen in love on stage 3,267 times since the show’s Broadway opening in 2003, join the men and women lining up at City Hall to officially wed Sunday, the first day same-sex couples can be legally married in the state. Let’s just hope the newlywed puppets will make it back uptown in time for the show’s 3 p.m. curtain call.

You may remember that Rod’s biggest struggle during Avenue Q is living as a closeted homosexual Republican. You’re not alone, Rod—believe us.

The show’s playwright, Jeff Whitty, also famously wrote an open letter to Jay Leno after Leno asked Ryan Phillipe to make his “gayest” face on an episode of The Tonight Show. In response, Whitty sent Leno a picture of his gayest face: an unamused expression with his middle finger fully extended. Whitty’s pretty badass and it’s equally badass that the musical will recognize the momentous occasion.

But wait—muppets getting married? Isn’t this what New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan warned us about? Kinky muppet-on-muppet action? God! Not even Sesame Street is safe from homos anymore.