Questioning one’s sexuality is a routine part of human development, and in a recent Reddit thread, guys recalled the moments they first asked themselves “Am I gay?”
Here’s a selection of responses from the thread — including revelations made at a Pride parade, at a department store, at school recess, and even at mass.
Related: Gay guys list the myths they once believed about gay people
“When I started to look at gay porn, like, 90% of the time.”
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“I was in grade 1, and firefighters came in for a presentation. I felt weird when I looked at them. A few years later, in grade 4/5, me and this one dude would always sneak out of class and meet in one of the bathrooms. By grade 8, I had told the first person. I feel like I’ve always just had this internal feeling that was different than the feeling I got when I looked at girls.”
“The summer after I graduated high school, I got to go on a school-sponsored trip to London and Paris. Because I had already graduated, I went off on my own around London instead of taking the arranged tours and being stuck on a tour bus all day. I went to see what I wanted to see and took in a couple of West End shows. On my way to catch a showing of Phantom of the Opera, I came up out of the tube station smack in the middle of London Pride. Suddenly all the scattered puzzle pieces began to fit together. I walk around and took in the sights that is Pride.”
“When I was 9. Suddenly I realized that I felt more than friendship with my best classmate and was jealous when he was playing with other friends during recess. I was also very sad when I heard he was going to move and never saw or heard of him again.”
“I was in my second year at high school (13-14 [years old]) and realized [none] of my friends watched porn … with only men in it. It was at the same time I developed my first crush on one of my closest friends. … I only realized much later that it was a crush.”
“An old priest started talking about the evils of homosexuality during mass and I went, ‘Huh. I’m gay.’ And walked out.”
Related: Guys list the most awkward questions they’ve gotten about being gay
“The men’s underwear section was a sweet torture every time I went out with my parents, and I didn’t even know why.”
“I feel like I never had a moment like this. I always knew I was attracted to other guys, and to me, it was normal, but I knew not to bring it up around other people. I didn’t really have a concept of sexuality then, though, because I was young. Around middle school was when I actually began having crushes and such.”
“I always found women attractive, but as I got older and I had opportunities to be with the opposite sex sexually, I’d always get nervous. I also always had an internal attraction to men. My first experience with another guy felt natural and my anxieties went away.”
“Does anyone remember Ace Ventura: Pet Detective? Well, there’s a scene in that movie where Ace is in the men’s locker room with a big muscle bear guy. I remember being a 12-year-old pubescent boy rewinding and pausing on that muscle bear. I was really intrigued by that muscle bear.”
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
I simply knew I was Gay since the moment I was aware a peen could do more than pee….
I was 8 before I was 7
Do the math. 🙂
JamJewel
Through no fault of his own, I was completely fascinated by my teenage cousin’s penis. My Mother guesstimated that I must of been around four-years-old when that started. I had my first physical experience with the thirty-odd-year-old guy who sold candy in the school yard when I was nine.
GayEGO
I knew I liked men when I was a baby in a crib at the hospital right after I was born. I asked my mother why she took me to the hospital when I was a baby, she responded the only time she took me there was when I was born. A man in uniform and his girl friend/wife stopped by to look at me in the crib, I could feel the warmth. When I turned 5, I had a crush on a boy that was 6. I fooled around with boys when I was 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, etc. When I hit puberty, a boy sat on my appendage in a gas station restroom. I tried making out with girls, but my willy did not react as my biological self was not into women. I went into the Navy and found out that liking the same gender was called gay, a name I never heard before. I met my lifetime partner of 57 years, married 15 years, while I was in the Navy in 1962. I want to say that it is more about relationships than sex because love was the strongest emotion, sex was secondary.
sillyme
@GayEGO I’m happy for you both there that you found each other and have been together for such a long time, I figured out I liked men first as about the age of 6 and went on from there and at age 6 I kissed my first man on the lips by choice and wasn’t part of my family at all and enjoyed it and kept quiet about it since then and just never told anyone. Came out in my early 20’s and not looked back since then and will not do so and never have regretted doing so at all. I was discharged from the military after I had my orders to go in and start basic and no fault of my own couldn’t do anything about it under a 4F title and was told I could fight it and I said to someone good luck doing so.
zephyr69
I think the minute I was born and the doctor slapped me on my ass and I smiled instead of crying I knew then.
RevJames
5 yrs. old, neigbour boy mowing lawn shirtless. Dropped pants and thought “that is beautiful.” Didn’t have word for it until I read Boys and Sex at 16.
Hussain-TheCanadian
Tom Welling, Circa Smallville, when I finally admitted to myself: “fck hes beautiful, I want him, and i dont care, my heart races when he smiles”.
I was 14 at the time.
RickHeathen
There was never a time that I questioned myself about it. It was just a matter of stopping the denial that I was precisely what everyone in school already seemed to know that I was before I even knew what that meant. There was no doubt that I was gay. Even as a little boy in second grade, I was attracted to the little boy who sat in front of me. He was my first crush. He used to dress like Fonzi from Happy Days. He was totally adorable.
baggins435
I was born in the early 60s. I remember crushing on Jonny Quest, Ron Ely in the TV Tarzan, and just about any cute teen boy or young man on TV or in a movie, especially a Disney movie. In 5th and 6th grade I crushed on my two best friends and I knew I liked boys instead of girls. Later, when they started liking girls I assumed I was a late bloomer even though I started puberty before them. We had to shower after gym in 7th and 8th grade and I got to see other naked boys for the first time. I still hadn’t heard the first thing about gays or homosexuality by the time I started high school; it was the South in 1975 so born again Christians ruled. Showers were also required after gym, and I knew I would probably have “trouble”, so I took ROTC for all 4 years instead, a decision I regret…LOL. Lots of cute guys I missed seeing as a teen. It never occurred to me to date girls as a cover and my parents never asked why. I had other brothers and we all wound up at the same university so I never felt safe trying to date guys in case my family found out. Turns out I wasn’t the only gay in the family and my parents didn’t have major issues with 3 gay sons. Wasted times in the closet, but you never know, and being too scared to act meant I was safe as the AIDS crisis started. I know some guys freaked out coming to terms with it, but I never really felt any stress over being gay, other than keeping it to myself. There was no struggle as it seemed I always thought boys were cute, so I can’t say at what point I went from thinking maybe I would eventually like girls, to “this is me.”
On another note, diverse representation in media is important. My brothers and I grew up hunting, fishing, and camping with the family, and using power tools helping dad build/fix things and work on the family cars. There were no known gay characters in movies or TV that we saw. Later, all gay characters were villains, and/or over the top effeminate caricatures that were nothing like us. The right is always going on about shoving it down their throats, but showing normal, every day LGBT people helps young kids realize they really aren’t alone, just like showing strong female characters shows girls they can be more than housewives or arm candy.
Tempus
I don’t know when I was first remotely aware of it as I was in denial for a while I think and looking back there were clues. I think I was vaguely certain when around 13-14 my dad bought me this sorta off-brand porn mag which showed an open vagina as well as a closeup pic of a guy penetrating one. I was extremely grossed & freaked out at the v pic for some reason(I know why now) and quickly told my my dad I didn’t want it. He talked me into keeping it and admittedly I did look at it over time…yet soon realized I was focused on the women’s backsides, which could somewhat pass for a man’s, and the closeup of the man’s package. It was a slow progression to admitting to myself I was truly gay yet that was definitely the turning point.
ricdardc1
The Old Joke, was….. “Daddy am I Gay, (DAD)
‘
Shut up Son and Keep Sucking !”
Ginger Tom
I think I always knew I was but I never chose to identify that way because I felt it would limit me and classify me. At 11 I gasped at the handsomeness of 18 year old boys, at 13 I stood, eyes transfixed by beautiful and awesome male genitalia in the showers. At 14 when another boy on a long coach trip whispered into my ear that he would like to have sex with me I got a hard on that lasted for four hours afterwards. Many encounters later the joys of “69.” All pointers to something I loved but did not want to invest my future in. At 18 I stopped and at 19 moved on to girls. Many years later I am back to the feelings I had in my youth and I have decided, “yes, I am gay” but to me it is still more about what “I love” than what “I am.”