Make way, everyone. Miss Anita Cuisinart Kickerella is sashaying her way down the stage!

It’s been more than a week since Harrison Butker’s retrograde college commencement speech went viral, with the Kansas City Chiefs kicker becoming the new face of chauvinism. In his right-wing screed, Butker denounced Pride Month and “dangerous gender ideology,” while imploring women to embrace their role as homemakers.

“I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolic lies told to you. Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world,” he said.

Butker’s misogynistic words received a mixed response from the women at Benedictine College, a conservative Catholic school in Kansas. One graduate described the experience as “f*cking horrible,” while the school’s nuns–yes, the nuns—denounced Butker’s speech as well.

“Our community has taught young women and men not just how to be ‘homemakers’ in a limited sense, but rather how to make a Gospel-centered, compassionate home within themselves where they can welcome others as Christ, empowering them to be the best versions of themselves. We reject a narrow definition of what it means to be Catholic,” they said in a statement.

Since his speech went viral, Butker has been exposed as a fraud in every way. We’ve found out his mother is an accomplished physicist who specializes in two types of radiation, while he may have played for a different team in college. An adorable photo shoot with Missouri senator Josh Hawley has only further fueled the speculation…

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Keeping that theme in mind, the RuPublicans recently sketched out Butker’s drag fantasy, with the help of AI. And honey, she looks gorgeous, with long blonde locks and bright red lipstick.

A woman who knows her place, Miss Anita spends most of her time in the home, baking pies and folding laundry. She always dresses to please her man’s eye, too.

“Let’s all muster a limp-wristed clap for Miss Anita Cuisinart Kickerella, the reigning queen of close-mindedness,” the RuPublicans implore. “She’s stirring up a hornet’s nest of hate with her antiquated commencement speech that sounds like it was ghostwritten by a 1950s housewife.

“She’s out there shrieking that Pride Month is a ‘deadly sin,’ making even the Benedictine Sisters clutch their rosaries and whisper, ‘Girl, please.’ Let’s hope the next time she casts a stone, it ricochets and knocks some common sense into her.”

Unsurprisingly, Miss Anita is a big hit! Her debut post has garnered nearly 60,000 “likes.”

While Miss Anita may look great in a long gown and short red shorts, the same can’t be said for her masculine alter-ego, Harrison. “Derek Guy,” the cutting menswear expert on X, says the kicker would be wise to punt on his sense of style.

“People keep asking me to comment on Harrison Butker’s clothes, as he seems to be a clotheshorse,” he wrote. “Some note that his clothes look ‘off.’ In almost every instance, it’s because his clothes are too small.”

Over the next 12 posts, “Derek Guy” picks apart Butker’s wardrobe. His fits are way too tight.

“When you shrink a tailored outfit, you narrow the shoulders, shorten the jacket, raise the buttoning point, reduce the waist suppression, and emphasize the hips by heavily tapering the trousers,” he says.

For good measure, menswear guy included a visual to show off Butker’s fashion doppelgänger: a bell.

Ironically, one of the biggest problems for Butker is that his patterns aren’t conservative enough. Clothing is a form of self-expression, after all. Maybe Harrison is trying to send a message?

“Harrison’s outfits would be improved if he stuck to more traditional cuts and conservative fabrics,” according to menswear guy. “If he wants to venture further, he should choose a skilled tailor with good taste and not open his mouth. The less he inserts himself in the process, the better.”

Previously, Butker was known as a three-time Super Bowl champ and arguably the best kicker in the NFL. But now, Miss Anita and her dreadful partners are on blast.

You reap what you sow!

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