WHAT A PILL

Help! Adderall Makes Me Gay

pillow-fight

And here we have an example of your perspective making all the difference: a Reddit user complains that Adderall makes him “turn gay.” No, kid, what’s really happening is that the baggage you carry from your sober life is preventing you from accepting that you’re queer.

He writes:

The problem is, each time I’ve taken it, I’ve gotten 0 work done and instead obsessively searched gay porn and even went so far as to make a Fetlife profile to try to meet people. This binge would go on for almost 24 hrs, I literally won’t sleep and will just stay on my computer looking up gay porn. All interest in straight porn is gone, and I just want to do gay things, have gay thoughts.

But once the drug wears off, I go back to normal and feel very disturbed for what I’d done. I’m back to liking girls, and only girls again.

Let’s assume for the moment that this post is in fact true. There’s a simple explanation here, which is that sometimes he likes boys and sometimes he likes girls. And what a shock, changing your brain chemistry results in changes in thought processes! Mystery solved.

The commenters have responded to this poor confused college student with an appropriate roll of the eyes. “Adderall dosnt make you gay, you’re probably just bisexual. Idk try sleeping with a dude I bet you’ll love it,” says one. Another advises, “Who cares? If you wanna jerk off to gay porn while you’re high then jerk off to gay porn when you’re high and be straight when you’re sober or be gay when your sober too. Just do whatever makes you happy.”

These are wise words, or at least as wise as you’re going to get from the /r/drugs subreddit. Best of luck to this baffled OP, and may he enjoy his pharmaceutically-induced voyage out of whatever weird closet he is in. Hopefully Reddit can help ease his journey.

Speaking of which, whatever happened to that guy last week who always thought he was straight, but met a cute dancer on a train and made his first-ever same-sex date? He promised to update everyone with how it went… and we’re still waiting. Everything in Reddit is definitely a true story.

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