Dallas Mayor Tom Leppert’s gay chief of staff Chris Heinbaugh (pictured) and some of the ‘mos he was with were denied entry to PM Nightclub at the Joule Hotel on a Friday night a couple weeks back, and it has some of them claiming sexual orientation discrimination. After all, they were attending a threeway joint birthday party, and dammit, why weren’t their names on a list? But management insists the doormen were only enforcing their standard girl-guy ratio, which any freakin’ straight club with a velvet rope does, and not getting all homophobic.
Daylon Pereira, a host of the birthday party, says the club was pretty dead when he got there around 9:30pm, but then “over 100 of our guests were turned away, all of whom were on the guest list given to the door men, the club was still empty and many of our friends were made to feel like second-class citizens. Had it been an issue of crowd control, I could understand, but the fact that PM was close to empty, I am having a tough time looking at this as anything but ‘gay’ control. All of my straight friends who arrived with their girlfriends were granted access with no issues.”
Except these clubs regularly keep it empty inside to build up a line outside, making it look more exclusive. (I can’t believe I have to explain this concept to gay men. Image is everything.) And while it’s standard practice for straight bars to maintain higher numbers of women than men, I’ve seen packed gay (male) bars administer similar policies when a whole crew of women show up. They’re forced to wait in a line outside, while hot guys breeze through. I endorse these door policies.
So while the 200 party guests and their hosts might’ve been upset with being turned away at PM’s door, maybe it’s time to use it as an indication that supporting your local gay watering hole is an important gesture, since they’re all closing.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
This would be a non-story if one of the invited guests didn’t work for the mayor; this crap happens nightly. Is it gender discrimination? Of course. Is it sexual orientation discrimination? Less likely.
Kieran
I wonder what the club’s standard Negro-Caucasian ratio is…..and do they dare enforce it? Gender discrimination anyone?
The more things change the more they stay the same.
andy
Who are you? How did this website become a forum for assholes?
Paul
Here’s a better question… Why would anyone want to go to one of these clubs anyway? This sounds like more of the upper-middle class gay drama that makes everything think we are all boughie and whiney. Who cares.
Tyler H
Look, I live in Dallas, and know these guys personally. I was invited to this party but didn’t go, so I won’t comment about anything that happened that night.
I would like to say though, that for those of you who live in larger cities (NY, LA) it’s easy to sit back and say “Why don’t you just support your local gay watering hole.” The thing is, while Dallas does have a large and thriving gayborhood, the majority of the bars are just that; watering holes. For whatever reason, if you want to go anywhere nice, where taking your shirt off and dancing on top of a speaker or tipping a drag queen is NOT requisite (not to slieght either practice as I am fond of both) then your options are pretty much limited to the straight scene. And God forbid we leave our Gay Ghettos, right?
Why SHOULDN’T we be allowed to have a party at a typically “straight” club and not expect it to be a hassle? Also, this wouldn’t have been flagged so quickly as discrimination by the Dallas community had it not followed so quickly on the heels of a similar event just weeks ago at the W Hotel where a group were denied admission. Again, not involved so I’ll stay out of it, just trying to paint the picture that in less than a month, two well known “hot” straight establishments have had serious issues with the gay community.
Jack E. Jett
I live in Dallas and Tyler H has it pegged.
Daylon P.
I was a host of this party and to clarify, we were ASKED to host our Birthdays at PM Lounge by one of the staff members. We were also told we could create a guest list to ensure all of the attendees would be granted access. Having invited well over 200 people to a popular Friday night venue, we wanted to make it very CLEAR how large this party could potentially be. Also, there were staff members on the guest list and we were in regular communication with them. It was not until our arrival that were aware of any “gender ratio” enforcement. One of our guests was told “money and girls get you in”….never mind the fact that the gentleman told that comes from a very wealthy, multi-generational Dallas family. If it’s the club’s image we’re discussing, this party would have only enhanced theirs. Our guest list included Attorneys, Surgeons, Politicians and active members of the community. And not to mention all “Beautiful People”. My sole point and my reason for argument is this…if PM Lounge had rejected our request for hosting this party up front, we would have taken it elsewhere.
Kurt
“Why SHOULDN’T we be allowed to have a party at a typically “straight” club and not expect it to be a hassle?”
Because you have knowingly picked a place that hassles customers in order to seem exclusive. Go to a place that doesn’t have a guest list or a velvet rope line but is just “open to the public.”
You want a club that doesn’t hassle you and your guests but hassles other people so you can feel you are special.
Tyler H
@Kurt
It’s not about picking a place that will make us feel “exclusive”; quite the contrary. I would argue that by stepping outside of our designated 3-city-block area every time we go to a bar that isn’t (are you from Dallas, BTW?) The Round Up, JR’s or S4, we are taking steps to make Dallas slightly more inclusive. Cocktails for equality, that’s the ticket! But seriously folks, we just get tired of going to the same places night-in, night-out, and a simple desire for a change of scenery and a drink that comes in actual stemware shouldn’t be cause to make me or anyone else feel less-than. It’s not the end of the world. So some gays didn’t get into a Dallas bar one hot summer night; there are bigger fish to fry. BUT, it doesn’t mean the incident should go unnoticed or undiscussesd in forums such as this. I actually posted this story to PM’s Facebook page (which you can find here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pmnightlifelounge?ref=ts) not to be a Bitter Betty, but just in hopes that it would make them more aware, because honestly, I think they are probably oblivous other than complaints they got directly from the hosts of the party.
OH, and Kurt, I never needed a VELVET rope to make me feel special. Nylon works just fine, as long as you tie the knots tight enough. Safe Word: Geranium
KTHANKSBAI
jason
There should be no discrimination whatsoever. Anybody who is sober and not causing trouble should be allowed into any bar. This enforcing of gender ratios is a form of social engineering which ultimately discriminates against gay men in particular.
And, please, don’t fall for PM nightclub’s notion that this was actually about maintaining gender ratios. “Gender ratios” is code for “we don’t want disgusting gay guys in our clubs”. Often, these sorts of clubs will allow groups of women in and create a pro-female bias, thus negating the notion that it’s about balance. Women are therefore partly responsible for this policy.
The straight nightclub managers want to turn their clubs into whore galleries so that sleazy straight guys can increase their chances of a pick-up. Don’t allow them to get away with it.
jason
Straight society wants us gays to remain confined to our gay bars and clubs. Straight society wants us to remain socially segregated. I didn’t fight for my rights so that society could do this to me. Tell straight society to fuck off.
We’ll go to any bar of our choosing. We won’t put up with social segregation of the type enforced by straight bars.
brian
What exactly is a gender ratio? Is it 50% men:50% women. Or 60:40? Or 45: 55? One wonders. When things are so poorly defined, it should set off alarm bells. It seems to me that ratios are subjective and can be changed at the whim of management.
I be that if the party-goers consisted of 20 bimbos in mini-skirts with their boobs hanging out of their flimsy tops, management would have had no problem with this sort of gender imbalance.
Zach
@brian:
Yes, ratios are entirely subjective. Some club owners encourage a slightly higher male-to-female ratio. The theory goes that slightly less women = more men buying drinks, 1) for the girls 2) for themselves, since they’re spending so much time trying to pick up and drink to a) get a little liquid courage or b) because they’re hanging around the club for so long. Other owners encourage the exact opposite, some go down for a 50/50 split.
Disgusted Gay American
why – cause the str8 guys would feel inferior that women like/and even hang on gay guys…and allow gay guys to touch thier tits etc..without feeling like they have to worry about being raped.
Sam
From a distance, this sounds like typical douchey straight nightclub bullshit. My brother works at one of these types of places in Chicago and straight men get turned away when there are not enough women there all the time. I doubt this had anything to do with the men being gay; being male is enough.
The real reason these guys should be pissed is because the club said they’d let in anyone on their list and then didn’t honor that. That’s just bad business.
Ricky
After reading Daylon’s comments above I gotta say it seems like your typical pretentious Dallas queens starving for attention. We’re beautiful, wealthy and employed, so we deserve something. Life’s not fair. Get over it and stop screaming the sky is falling just because you can’t get in a club.
Geez, priorities people. Seriously, the Rangers are in first place!
Hamoboy
While I think discrimination is always horrible, and this is a clear cut case of anti-gay discrimination, I think what a lot of the commenters are missing out on is that clubs also genuinely enforce gender ratios (once again, there was NO justification in this instance) because having a large room full of drunk straight men does not lead to an all male orgy, it normally just leads to fights and rioting, and God protect the few women in the room, they’ll be harrassed and fought over like pieces of meat.
Sam
@Sam: P.S. The few times I’ve been forced to go to these hideous places – always for a straight girl’s birthday or bachelorette party – I’ve been the only guy with a pack of ladies and never had a problem getting in, despite my fairly obvious love of dick. They don’t care if you’re straight or gay, as long as you bring the ladies with you, they’ll totally let you in to buy their overpriced, shitty drinks that you get to enjoy while watching wasted douchebags slobber over chicks while dancing/flailing to crappy house music.
Not that I’m bitter. 😉
jason
Hamoboy,
You’re comparing apples and oranges. No-one is denying that a bar owner has a right to maintain order within his premises. It is therefore completely acceptable that a drunk man or drunk woman would be refused entry or, if they are within the premises, evicted.
However, if a totally sober group of guys – whether gay, straight or bi – want to go into a straight bar, there is no compelling reason to refuse them entry. If one accepts that a bar owner has a right to maintain a gender ratio, and thus refuse entry to men, then one must accept that the bar owner would have a right to maintain a racial ratio.
Would you accept that a bar owner has a right to refuse entry to blacks in case there are too many already in the joint? I certainly wouldn’t.
Scott
Ugh… They weren’t denied entrance to a *bar*, they were denied entry to a *club*. Everyone gets denied entrance to a club at some point in their lives; it’s par for the course. These are the types of guys who bitch and moan every time they get denied entry to the Boom Boom Room in NYC. Newsflash: it’s not homophobia. Clubs cater to the young, pretty and female. That’s the way they work. Not to be a jerk, but this guy isn’t any of those things.
David Dodson
If I was the manager, I would fire those idiots. I am not talking about ratios, I am talking business. You don’t leave a club empty when there are paying customers wanting in. IT IS IDIOTIC Business practice.
jason
Scott,
I’m amazed that you seem to be accepting discrimination based on prejudice. One wonders how you’d react if you were refused entry to a premises based on prejudice. I’d love to see your reaction.
These straight clubs can fuck off. We’ll put them out of business if necessary. If there’s any straight club owner thinking of discriminating against gay men, we’ll take you through the legal system.
And to women, let me say this: we know that you exploit double standards in order to get preferential treatment. That’s why you put your little flimsy dresses on when you want to get into a club. We in the GLBT community are no longer going to tolerate you. You can fuck off too, ladies.
caffesilvia
@ Jason:
Gay clubs discriminate ALL the time. Often, rudely. I know because I often want to go to a club along with my girlfriend (I’m bi), and she’s often rudely rejected because “we’re not accepting any more girls tonight.” Of course, I have personally banned all clubs that have ever told us that — I won’t go to them alone or with male friends or in any configuration at any later date. But even so, I know it’s common…
Another Gay
After hearing about this intially when it happened, and now again, I’m still left wondering, how do these gays think they were identified as being gay? Aside from the obvious ones I know of, some of these guys could easily pass for their straight counterparts. I don’t imagine any of these guys were decked out in their heels and pearls, so it’s quite possible that they were just pegged for being male, like the club said. And I agree with Ricky, and as someone who knows of Daylon P.(aka a host of this party) let’s make it very clear he is not a spokesperson for this community. Hanging out with people who actually have money (as in the people Daylon lease’s apts and condos to for a day job) does not make you one of the rich and fabulous. I’m sure someone else picked up the tab for this party, and Daylon just put his name on the invite. But I digress.
JOHN
How many gay guys were robbed or assaulted outside the Dallas gay bars that night?
Maybe THAT is where the Mayor’s openly gay Chief of Staff should direct his outrage, rather than being DELAYED entry to a straight bar that was overcapacity and which he was eventually let into.
I know these guys too, and I applaud their voice…but I believe this is misdirected energy.
gilber
i don’t know why in this world a gay person would prefer going to a straight bar instead of a gay one.the unfriendly atmosphere inside of those nasty bars frequented by sexually inverted couples, makes them even dangerous.i feel safer in a gay bar than in a “straight” one.the violence,the artificial manhood to impress the women,the threatening glances those poor pseudolesbian men gives to other men,and the list goes on.it is pretty much a negative environment.it’s been like 10 years that i don’t go to a heterosexual bar.i hate them like hell.
jason
As a gay man, I would hate to confine my social life to a dingy little gay bar where you see the same faces all the time. It’s a recipe for depression. I would much rather go out into the real world and mix with people who don’t necessarily define themselves on the basis of what they do in bed.
My advice to gay guys is this: leave the gay ghetto and join the real world.
Marcus
“My advice to gay guys is this: leave the gay ghetto and join the real world.”
Apparently, some people tried, and were denied. Whether that was a gender thing or a gay thing, the whole point of this was that gay people tried to leave the ghetto and were denied entry. Like, did you read the thing above?
Jeffree
Wow: our pal Jason is on a bender. Other than the posts using his name, his sock puppets have written at least 12 comments. Pretty easy to recognize: names we never saw before, in very rapid succession, same level of writing, same worldview. I didn’t even need sofware to detect him this time’:-)
BTW: “Gilber” not every town has a gay bar. It’s amazing how the quality of your English changes so much from post to post. You must be getting lessons from “Axos”
gilber
“jeffree” sweetheart, i’m a spaniard, i clean my ass with the english grammar and its rules.next year i’m hopefully going back to spain and i will probably forget all the crap i’ve had to learn,believe me.and please stop your crap with jason,queerty doesn’t need any sherlock holmes here.PLEASE respect other people opinions,try to show some education.and please don’t try to be smarter than me,i know that every town in this backward country doesn’t have a gay bar.
jason
Marcus,
Don’t get me wrong, I agree with you. I’m simply saying that there are some gay guys who think we shouldn’t dare venture beyond the gay ghetto. There are some gay guys who think we should shut up and not rock the boat when it comes to our rights.
Well, I’m not one to shut up. I’ll rock the fucking boat if I have to. I’m sick of discrimination in any way, shape or form. These discriminating straight bars and clubs need to be taken to court and their liquor licences revoked.
We also need to keep up the pressure on women. Women are horribly exploitative in nature. They exploit double standards – such as the clothing double standard – in order to get preferential treatment, such as automatic entry to these bars and clubs. Well, I’m fucking sick of these women too.
jason
By the way, I also think that gay bars and clubs should not be allowed to discriminate. If gay people want to be treated equally, they need to treat others equally too.
The sad thing is there are people within the GLBT community who love the idea of discrimination. They WANT to discriminate against others on the basis of prejudice or some social engineering notion. That’s not the way to go, guys, no matter how important it is to create safe spaces for GLBT people.
Daylen
I am one of the people that was turned away that night. For the record, I probably think it was a mix of everything that has been talked about above – discrimination, business decisions (good or bad) or some homophobic idiot at the front door who got a little power hungry.
First, there is no doubt that my personal experience was purely discrimination. While some might argue I’m a big queen, I don’t actually scream gay – in fact, when I approached the doorman he stopped me and asked if I was visiting the club or was I “there for the party.” Well, since I knew there was a list of guests I told him I was there for the party – that’s when he told me that the party was limited to 50 people and he had already let in several more people than he was supposed to. It’s clear he made his decision based on the fact that I was going to 3 gay guys’ party and I was presumably gay. I also learned the next day that at the time I came the club was anything but “crowded.” I also know that one of the gay guys who was denied entrance at the same time I was eventually got in when a girlfriend of his showed up and said she was with him.
This is bad because it was discrimination and its bad because the guys holding the event were told 200 people or more would be fine. Its bad because it divides the collective us (gays, bi, transgendered, straight, whatever) in one more way as is made clear from this series of posts.
However, I’m not sure that the solution is getting pissed and boycotting or taking things through the legal channels – at least not in the beginning. I wonder if anyone has had the opportunity (or taken it) to simply have a rational, constructively critical discussion with the management of PM & the Joule? Expressing our concerns about what happened – maybe making a suggestion that they market one night a week to the gay crowd (God knows we drop money for liquor as well or better than the straights), asking for a public apology, etc. – something that is geared toward combining the different communities rather than separating them further? I think hitting them in their pocket book is appropriate if they respond negatively or not at all to something constructive, but I don’t think complaints and threats will get us what we want. Just a thought.
Michael
How did the doorman determine who was gay?