big reveals

Jewish Guilt Keeps Israeli’s Gay Men In The Closet Longer Than Lesbians

When it comes to the chosen people, gay men need about a year longer to come out than their female counter parts, according to researchers at the gay educational center Hoshen. While lesbians stay in the closet for about 2.5 years after they “begin doubting whether they are heterosexual,” gay men keep the door shut for about 3.5 years. But that does not mean lesbians start identifying as gay at a younger age. That’s because gay men start realizing something’s up at around age 14.5, while on average it doesn’t happen for lesbians until age 18; men start self-identifying as gay around age 17, while women do it at 21. The study does show that gay and bi men and women generally follow the same game of telephone when it comes to revealing their sexuality: first they come out to a friend, then mom, then later on their dad, and then finally (though definitely not always) their work colleagues.

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  • Alex

    the data has me nailed!

  • Gary B.

    what would be really interesting stats is not how much longer it takes gay jewish men to come out then lesbian jewish women, but if there’s any difference in how long it takes to come out between jews and non-jews, or if with non-jews, it takes longer for gay men then lesbian women to come out as well.

    i guess what i’m saying is these stats are only interesting if they differ either from the stats of non-jews. otherwise, who gives a shit?

  • Acidicer

    either you gave the wrong data or your math is terrible

    Men: 17 – 14.5 = 2.5
    Women: 21 – 18 = 3

    Therefore, men in closet shorter time than women

  • merkin

    This headline isnt only insulting–it has no bearing on the “story.” Scientific studies on coming out are suspect to begin with, because only out-and-proud people would participate in such a study. Plus, how do you define “coming out”? Being sexually active? Being out to anyone? Being out to everyone? Its not an exact science (no pun intended).

    As a gay Jewish man, my experience has been that gay and lesbian Jews have an easier time coming out than Christians (and i assume Moslems). Jews have been involved in civil rights for decades, We don’t have that fear of “burning in hell” (no real Hell in Judaism) and our families already understand what it means to be a minorty. Obviously a broad generalization, but a fair statement i think.

  • Joe

    @Acidicer: The study looks at two different things: the difference between “coming out” and “self-identifying.” One has to do with telling other people. The other has to do with telling yourself.

  • adman

    Who is this guy Isreali, and why does HE have all the gay men? Give a few up to the rest of us, playa!!

  • .


    “gay and lesbian Jews have an easier time coming out than Christians”

    Tell that to the Orthodox.

    Anyone who knows a hustler in NYC will tell you that an abnormally large percent of business is closeted married Orthodox Jews. I mean even gay Jews know and admit this.

  • Cam

    But also, saying that women figure it out later seems a bit off. Don’t we all know a few lesbians that at around the age of 14 or 15 went up to their mothers and basically said “Mom, Dad, I’m a lesbian, deal with it.”

  • John

    how is Jewish guilt any different from religious guilt [aka Muslim guilt, Christian guilt, or Hindu guilt ? ]

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