Where's The Bulge?

Just How Small Is Shia LaBeouf’s Small Member?


Shia LaBeouf is an actor who stars in big budget films like Transformers and Indiana Jones. He’s a cute twentysomething piece of young Hollywood ass, which always grabs our attention (though less and less these days). And then there was THAT VIDEO of him calling a friend a “faggot” during a play fight to instigate him. (After the video surfaced, his publicist faux-apologized, saying Shia “regrets having used the word in any capacity and is very embarrassed that this footage is being seen by anyone.”) So why is this pixie actor back on our radar? Because he told Playboy magazine he has a small penis, and we’re here to investigate.

Just how small is small? It’s hard to tell by Shia’s admission. You see, back when he was losing his virginity, he copied what he saw in a porno movie (who hasn’t?) and ran into some trouble: “I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie…[It] put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move.”

We decided to turn to the only evidence we have: paparazzi photos of him in skinny jeans. Not the most reliable source of data, but hey, when you’re famous and you go on record as having a tiny wang, this is what happens.

Let’s just say that after viewing all exhibits, we’re confident Mr. LaBeouf, no matter how small, is still a grower, not a shower.

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  • Andrew

    Grower… shmower… Still looks like he has a tight little bod. I’d kiss his finger and make it all better if he asked…. :o

  • naprem

    “Not extremely well-endowed” does not mean small. It just means not giant, which if he was basing his comments on porn, was probably all the other dick he’d seen.

  • Dabq

    Don’t care how, cough, small it may or may not be, he is sexy as all out, better looking than any of the ‘models’ posted here daily!

  • RochNYuy

    Where’s Labeouf?

  • Zakakaka

    I´d still do him…

  • D-Sun

    “Not extremely well-endowed” doesn’t necessarily mean small…

    But even if it does, I’d still wreck that.

  • InExile

    I got out my magnifying glass and I cannot see anything!

  • 7SnowyNights

    I don’t bust out of my Levi’s either, and, well, let’s just say this proves nothing.

    Were he wearing Rufskins, however, THEN you’d have an argument.

  • reversion

    maybe a micropenis lawl

  • mark

    Looks like a Penis …only smaller.

    Poor thing.

  • ggreen

    Those Skinny jeans look horrible on everyone that wears them. They flatten the ass and make all the guys look like they are sporting a vagina.

  • alejandro

    skinny jeans are hot!! :D it sucks that there’s no bulge cuz skinny jeans show off everything XD

  • Queerky

    Worse than his confession about his penal inches is his admission that he does not know what to do it.

  • Joanaroo

    Hi! Sorry-I’ll comment as soon as I stop laughing…We-e-e-ell, at least he’s honest! Shia, my less-endowed boyfriends always said-which was true-“It’s not the quantity-IT’S THE QUALITY! And it was!

  • Toby2009

    guys with big dicks would be so lucky to be cute as shia. i’d rather look at his face than a big dick any day.

  • KyleR

    I like wut hes doin to the jug in pic 10! lmao!!

    and he compared himself to a porn star!!! come on!! unless u have sumthin bigger than 8 u wudnt b that endowed either. and it just might b average length. which wud b fine by me!!

  • Ryan

    I find that it’s mighty tough to tell what anyone’s got in a pair of jeans. From being in a football locker room for a few years, some of the guys with nothing showing ended up actually being the biggest. Unless there’s serious vpl (visible penis line), it’s tough to tell even in a pair of gym shorts. A big bulge is more often from big balls than a big wang! Not that I’d know (ha!), but the best bet on having any semblance an idea of what Shia, or anyone, has when flaccid (key word) is a wet bathing suit. Or if they decide to do something incredibly stupid (assuming they care if people see their cock) and strip/pee/go out side naked, a la Jude Law, Prince William and Brad Pitt. Actually, they all seem to be doing pretty well for themselves… maybe more celebrities should be so incredibly stupid.

  • stevenelliot

    what guy bulges in these off the rack, meth inspired, skate-board, pants?? Straight guys do not like to show their bulges. Neither do the ‘gratuitous skin’ segments on queerty…..

  • Stamp

    This is a stupid, boring little story that deserves none of of our attention.

  • James P. P.

    are you fucking serious? really? this is what we have resorted to in order to feel better about ourselves?

  • sal(the original)

    my “fag” aint going to this tool

  • sal(the original)

    my “fag” MONEY…

  • sal(the original)

    never watched any of his films and will continue to do so until he(not his flipin publicist) comes out against hate…he uttered the hate and it should be him to set it right

  • sal(the original)

    i boycott will,shia and any other loser.why put money in their hateful hands??

  • shelby84

    @James P. P.: i feel you on that. This some dumb ass shit. Seriously–who cares?

  • mb00

    I think he’s just yanking our chain…I have this photo of him in speedos and he doesn’t look very small to me.

    I’ll try to post the photo here and see if it works:

  • mb00

    k…didn’t work, but hit me up and I’ll email to you guys.

  • Shia's Man

    @sal(the original):

    Fag schmlag…who cares if he said that in the company of his own friends, at a private party, while intoxicated, only to play fight?

    It’s not like he was calling a homosexual a fag purposefully and derogatorily to intentionally hurt him. Like calling a black man a nigger, a hispanic man-a spick or a lesbian a cunt dyke. There was no hate at all in his voice, demeanor, or statement. He was playing around with his own friend at a drinking party. There is a difference.

    And really, you’re THAT sensitive? Like you’ve NEVER called someone a name, either jokingly or as an insult? Really, you hypocrite, please get off your high-horse you prima donna queen. Like you’re any better a person? You’re an angel, a saint? You are incredibly sensitive and need to take your crying elsewhere. I don’t see you commenting about how a straight woman might call her straight female friend, a bitch. Female dogs might be offended by that and should obviously boycott having female owners now…dumbass.

    He’s a human being. Sometimes human beings say things out of context without thinking. I think he is one of the few actually genuine people, who are actors, living in the spotlight, who are still able be genuine and real to themselves and those they love. He was raised well. I would make love to that man everynight because of his amazing mind and heart. If he wanted to call me a fag while making sweet love to me…I would just call him my Jew-daddy…:) (You see–THAT was a joke…) Grow up.

    I’m a gay man and my straight brother and I are very close. When he and I joke around or rough-house sometimes, I will call him out like Shia did and say things to him like “Come on, what are you a fag? Can’t kick my ass?” when I’M the FAG…

    You’re a fuckin idiot.

  • galefan2004

    There is a difference between, “not extremely well endowed” and small. Small is under 4″. Not extremely well endowed is under 7.5″ or 8″. Perhaps he is just normal. Also, perhaps he is a grower not a shower, so unless he is raging hard in those skinny jeans picks they prove nothing.

  • galefan2004

    @Queerky: I assume you were born just knowing how to fuck then? Mmm kay!

  • galefan2004

    @sal(the original): Yes because none of us are guilty of ever using the word fagot when messing around with our friends in a teasing moment. Also, like no gay man has ever used the word while directing it towards a famous rapper. Ah ha. When Shaila calls a guy the word to their face in a matter meant to tear them down then I will have an issue with it. Until then, its just a word he used while playing around.

  • galefan2004

    @sal(the original): Then you are missing out because Transformers was possibly the best movie of this decade. I can only imagine Transformers 2 will be pretty decent. The Crystal Skull was also relatively decent.

  • sjwps

    It don’t matter if he’s big or small I wouldn’t be kickin’ him out of my bed.

  • Sexy Rexy

    He is so fugly. I don’t get why folks think he’s attractive.

  • Randy Randy

    Well who cares about the size of his penis. I mean with an ass so sweet it’s really just a nice handle for flipping him over anyway.


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  • Barb

    I enjoy farting.

Comments are closed.