Where in the world is Carmen San Diego Kate Middleton? 👀
ICYMI: There’s a viral conspiracy theory that the Princess of Wales is being hidden by Kensington Palace after she hasn’t been seen in public for months.
Her Royal Highness went to the hospital in January for a “planned abdominal surgery,” according to the royal family’s social media account, and canceled all public appearances “until after Easter.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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OK, so a woman undergoing a medical procedure is a far cry from aliens and the Loch Ness Monster.
(Although, it’s a bit odd that paps haven’t been able to snag a single shot of her leaving any number of appointments.)
But put on your tinfoil hats, gays! This is where it starts to get weird.
After nearly three months without a pic of Kate, speculation began growing that the Royal Family wasn’t telling us the whole truth.
So, the hilarious gays of the internet began sharing their own theories: Kate Middleton actually got a BBL. She’s divorcing William. Or, bizarrely, she snagged a job working at the mega-flop immersive Willy Wonka experience in Glasgow.
Coincidentally, Middleton –– or a body double who kinda looks like Katie Holmes, if you’re into that kind of stuff –– was suddenly photographed in a car with her mother.
Of course, the sunglasses and indiscernible detail of Kate’s face just made the internet go crazier.
That brings us to Sunday (March 10), when the Royal Family shared this unassuming pic for Mother’s Day in the UK. Taken by budding photographer Prince William, of course.
Except internet sleuths very quickly detected something about the photo wasn’t right. Apart from the fact that it looks like a J. Crew ad.
Upon further inspection, details like Charlotte’s wrist and Louis’ fingers looked photoshopped.
Within hours, the Associated Press issued a kill notification on suspicion that “the source has manipulated the image.” This is why you should never use FaceTune free version!
Then, the Kensington Palace’s social media account posted a follow up from “C” –– a.k.a Kate –– confessing to “[experimenting] with editing” the photo “like many amateur photographers.” But basically, all is well and there’s nothing to worry about here.
Can you say PR disaster?!
At the very least, the whole ordeal made the situation even weirder.
How do they expect us to believe the Princess of Wales fiddles around on her laptop like a plebeian tries on Snapchat filters?!
Naturally, the Royal Family was hilariously roasted for whatever is happening.
Perhaps the best riff came from Rob Madge, the UK actor behind My Son’s a Queer, headed to Broadway next season.
To the tune of Legally Blonde: The Musical‘s “Ohmigod You Guys,” they donned royal drag to parody the “amateur photographer” of it all.
“Just last week I received a present / It was a subscription to Adobe Photoshop / How pleasant, it’s like an anti-depressant,” they sang.
(However, “Blur that dress and f*ck Charlotte’s arm / Don’t care if we all look embalmed” might just be our favorite lyric.)
Watch.
So, where does that leave us?
Well, some users think the entire pic was shopped using Middleton’s face from a Vogue cover years ago.
Others hit the replies to offer the Princess of Wales some photoshop lessons.
Yet, the Royal Family responded further by letting paps snap a new pic of William in the car alongside Kate. With her face turned the opposite direction!
Nevertheless, the internet’s search for answers continues. (And thank goodness, because the memes are hilarious!)
Check out more reactions from Gay Twitter X below.
abfab
Where’s Ivanka.
still_onthemark
“Everyone knows the Royal Family are lizard people.” – Roy on “Ted Lasso”
abfab
What are lizard people?
Fahd
Some observations from Palace Confidential:
William and Kate’s team should have seen this coming and suggested to Kate that they not send out the doctored photograph. Some advisors who aren’t advising might need to be replaced.
Also, since William’s wife, the future Queen of England, just had “planned abdominal surgery” and it was Mother’s Day in the UK, etc., you would think that William could have been a little chivalrous and taken some of the blame; he did allegedly take the original picture that wasn’t good enough.
William and Kate are too stubborn to just do a quick video of her assuring everyone that she’s just recovering and nothing fishy or “conspiratorial” is going on. They’re also too stubborn to allow a professional photographer into their private lives, so this kind of amateurish stuff can be avoided
abfab
One critic said it has to be fake because he sees lush foliage in the background and it’s the wrong season for that. Oh honey, it;s ENGLAND! Something is always in bloom, there are such things as evergreens and the people have indoor greenhouses and Orangeries! Please!
bachy
Makes me wonder if the public has enough food. They seem ravenous to eat the Royal Family alive.
abfab
I know, it’s pretty sick. Did you see Bernie Sanders and his mittens or Reetha and the huge hat!!! LOL
Kangol2
Given Britain’s ongoing economic problems under Tory rule, eating the monarchy and rich might eventually become more than just a metaphor.
bachy
The RF is the least of their problems. But I suppose they are a convenient scapegoat now that Megan Markle has eluded the burning stake.