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Kellyanne Conway inks multimillion dollar book deal for her alternative facts, er, “memoirs”

Oh god.

Kellyanne Conway has reportedly inked a multimillion dollar book deal for her memoirs, y’all.

Insiders say the “unvarnished, eye-popping” book will focus on her dramatic tenure as Trump’s closest and most loyal White House propagandist, er, advisor.

It hasn’t been reported exactly how much Conway is being paid for the project, but rumor has it it’s the largest advance yet for a Trump tell-all, even more than the record $2 million former national security adviser, John Bolton, was paid for his manuscript, which went on to sell over 750,000 copies in its first week.

Related: Recently refreshed Kellyanne Conway tells Asian American reporter that saying “kung flu” isn’t racist

There are also reports that Conway, who has been dubbed by some as the “True First Lady of Trump’s America”, is also shopping the movie rights to her story, which will likely sell for millions more.

Trump insiders are said to be nervous about the whole thing. They fear Conway could potentially blow the lid off of what really happened behind the scenes at the White House.

“Of all the White House insiders, Kellyanne is going to write the most unvarnished, eye-popping account of her time working for the president,” an unnamed source tells the Daily Mail. “She’s got some of us quaking in our boots.”

Related: “You’re taping me again!?” Kellyanne Conway seethes at daughter over COVID revelation

The book is also expected to delve into Conway’s crumbling marriage to her husband, George, and her tense relationship with their daughter, Claudia, who had her own brush with fame last summer after calling her mother out for being a liar on social media.

When asked for comment, Conway declined to say anything about the project. No word yet on when the book, which we definitely won’t be reading, might be released.

In the meantime, here’s a super creepy interview Kellyanne did with Showtime right after leaving her post at the White House in August to focus on repairing her deeply damaged family.