A popular posting this week on the AskGayBros subreddit has elicited stories about being blocked on hookup apps.
If you’re on Grindr or Scruff, being blocked is part of the course and some people even welcome it as it eliminates the disinterested from your grid. That’s why some people state “Block me if you’re not interested” on their profiles.
However, what nobody appreciates is being blocked or ghosted after you’ve set out to meet someone as previously arranged.
How about we take this to the next level?
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We can all agree that’s pretty crappy behavior, right?
The original poster raising the question said this had happened to him twice in one week. It left him feeling “awful”.
“Guy invited me to a restaurant, we had been talking for a while. I show up, he says he’s on his way. I grab a table and order a drink, tell him where I am sitting, and he blocked me.”
He said it left him “In tears in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
“A few days later, another guy I had been talking to casually just wanted to hang out, get just to know each other. I walked to his apartment in the freezing cold, as soon as I tell him I’m outside, he blocked me.”
The poster said he tried to be as honest as possible on his profile and used a range of recent photos.
“So I don’t understand why people do this kind of thing. It hurts, no one deserves this. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with changing your mind. People do it all the time. I just ask anyone reading this, it takes nothing to simply tell someone you’ve changed your mind, even at the last second, but blocking at that point inflicts pain on a stranger.”
Last-minute blocking
The post prompted hundreds of replies with similar stories of last-minute blocks.
“One guy asked me to come to his place, about £15 on Uber,” recalled another guy. “When I reached there, he asked me to walk to the playground. I went there and then he told me to send him pics of where I was. I sent him. And he blocks. It was freezing cold, and I was so horny, he had made promises. I had to pay Uber again to get back home.”
However, the most-liked comment came from someone who chose not to take it on the chin.
A user named Lamar said, “It happened to me a couple of times. The last time the guy wanted weed, and I don’t smoke. He told me I could come anyway. I was driving to his location and when I said I was there, he blocked me.
“I must’ve been having a bad day because f*ck that.”
Lamar says he logged out, created a catfish account, “and hit him up. He asked if I had weed, and I told him yes. Gave him the address of somewhere like 45 minutes away from the area he sent me to. As soon as said ‘Here, which apartment?’ BLOCK. Deleted the account and went on about my day.
“Am I proud of it? No. Did I feel better? Absolutely.”
Reddit approves
The response earned over 800 upticks and plenty of comments. Nearly all of it applauded him for his actions.
“I think you can be proud of that lol,” said one.
“Wow. Just reading that felt so cathartic,” said another. “Do I understand why you did it? Yes. Do I agree what you did was morally okay…? F*ck yes.”
A third person said, “I’m proud of you. I bet that a** didn’t even make the connection.”
Queerty reached out to Lamar to ask him why he thought some guys blocked in this fashion.
He offered a selection of possible reasons.
“Reason #1: ‘Post Nut Clarity’, for lack of better terms. People are usually browsing certain apps when they’re ‘looking’ while simultaneously getting themselves off. They often ‘finish’ before their meeting can be properly established, and just block because it’s easier than turning someone down when they’re already en route.
“Reason #2: Dating/hookup apps can easily hide one’s actual identity, so people do things without fearing any consequences.
“Reason #3: Actual catfish exist, as well as Facetune and other image-altering apps. I’ve definitely shown up to a ‘meeting’ and was met by someone who didn’t share accurate photos. If a catfish gets discovered from a distance, people may block to avoid an interaction or confrontation. Nobody wants to feel like the bad guy, even when it’s the right thing to do.
“Reason #4: People are just a**holes. Sometimes they had no intentions to actually meet, and were just messing around on the apps.”
Ultimately, although he took revenge on that one occasion, “The best way to brush it off is just that; brush it off!
“If you know that your intentions were genuine, you used accurate photos and were completely honest, PLEASE understand that being blocked has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the blocker,” Lamar suggests.
“The same way that you arranged this meeting, you can arrange another. It absolutely sucks wasting gas, time and energy, but try not to dwell! You miss a bus, another is coming in the next 15 minutes!”
Related:
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This Gen-Z user thinks “predatory” Grindr should be “illegal” & Gay Twitter™ is not having it
This Gen-Z user thinks Grindr should be “illegal,” and Gay Twitter is not having it
rikard_pearson
i have had it happen to me often, seen them walk by me in front of my building, then block. i have also tried to disengage and say “i don’t think we are very compatible after all” only to have them demand an explanation, or we have hooked up a number of times and it has never been great, but they can’t take a hint.
Chrisk
Had a guy invite me to a restaurant to meet. Same thing where I told him where I was and then I get blocked. My pics were also up to date but maybe I looked different in person. Who knows. Still I went way out of my way for this meet up.
I had the opportunity to do the same thing to him months later though. Created a catfish account and he uses the same damn restaurant to meet. It’s his MO I guess. Just toyed with him for awhile and blocked him back. For all I know he could’ve been sitting at home through all of it. Oh well. Some satisfaction I guess.
woodroad34
There used to be a rotary phone application where, if someone calls you and you answer and they hang up, you could dial *69 (I think) to call back the person who dialed you. We’d do this constantly at work and when the other party answered, we’d just hang up.
still_onthemark
R.E.M. on the Monster album:
You don’t have to take the bar exam to see
What you’ve done is Ignoramus 103
What’ve I got to hang my hat on, you don’t have a pot to pee in
All this just to be your friend, I was there until the end
Extortion and arson, petty larceny
I know all about the warehouse fire
I know squirrels didn’t chew the wires
Three people have my number, the other two were with me
I don’t like to tell-tale but I’m not your patsy
This time you have gone too far with me
[Chorus]
I know you called, I know you called
I know you called
I know you called, I know you called
I know you hung up my line, star 69
Diplomat
Wood,
Star69 still works today on cell phones.
frapachino
“He said it left him In tears in the middle of a crowded restaurant” oh brother!
ShaverC
LOL LOL. I think he’s got bigger problems than being blocked.
DCFarmboy
Yes. And after too many guys who are interested in a hook up but when it comes time to closing the deal, suddenly they need 2 hours to “get ready” and then ghost, I’ve realized I’m their backup in case they don’t find someone better in the next 2 hours.
Stefano
I had the same problem when I went to bars: guys would talk to me until 2 or 3 in the morning and then disappear with someone else. I was only there “just in case”…I quickly understood and moved on…when I really wanted sex I’d go to a sauna…at least there it was clear whether he was interested or not.
dbmcvey
I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with this.
Stefano
Me too. That’s one of the advantages of being uglier than average, you avoid unpleasant surprises.
Diplomat
Ever thought these might be 90 year old men whose diks have fallen off? Or curious petrified “str8” guys? You just got punkt. Lighten up. Internet hookup apps are like gambling, it’s just not your turn to win yet.
bachy
I like you ‘tude…!
dman
I’ve had the restaurant meetup situation happen to me twice. In both cases I realized the guys were already there, sized me up as I came in, decided for one reason or another they didn’t even want to take the time to introduce themselves, and then just walked out the door.
bachy
Hey kids, if you wanna play this kinda high stakes sex game, ya gotta recognize the risks – and wear your protective gear.
#THUG LIFE.
DEAL WITH IT.