This profile is part of Queerty’s 2021 Out For Good series, recognizing public figures who’ve had the courage to come out and make a difference in the past year, in celebration of National Coming Out Day on October 11.
Name: Mary Wiseman, 26
Bio: Wiseman grew up in Maryland and Pennsylvania as the youngest of four children, and the only daughter. As a teenager, she discovered the world of Shakespeare, and found herself increasingly interested in theatre arts. She attended Boston University and the prestigious Julliard School before beginning her career as an actress. Parts on Baskets, Longmire and Difficult People followed before she landed her star-making role: that of the neurotic Lt. Tilly on Star Trek: Discovery.
Coming Out: Wiseman ignited buzz among Trek fans following a December 2020 interview marred by technical difficulties. In said conversation, Wiseman’s audio cut out when she appeared to say “I’m not straight” during the conversation. The remark drew particular interest as the actress has been married to her husband Noah Averbach-Katz since 2019.
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In a follow-up interview, Wiseman clarified her remarks and confirmed that she identifies as queer. “I did say this! It’s not a big deal at all,” Wiseman admitted. “I just didn’t want to say I’m straight when I’m not! Before Noah [Averbach-Katz, Wiseman’s husband and co-star], I dated and loved people of all genders.”
Chosen Family: In the same interview, Wiseman revealed why she’d taken so long to come out.
“I never liked it when straight-presenting women dominated conversations about bisexuality/pansexuality when I was with women,” she explained, “so I try not to do it now, but I also don’t want it to feel like I’m hiding anything because I’m queer and proud!”
So are we.
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Those who came out to make a difference
Donston
Probably over half of Hollywood is in the queer spectrum. And perhaps the majority of that half only have substantial hetero commitments or will eventually settle into a hetero commitment. It is what it is. We just have to make sure that we don’t filter people through a hetero-expectations and a hetero/gender normal base. Other than that, just be honest, do what you do and be with who you really want to be with.
At least she’s willing to admit that it’s kinda annoying how some people in hetero commitments or who have hetero ambitions try to dominate the queer conversation. Instead of focusing on just being honest, some of those people become leeches and want as much attention and validation for their “queerness” as possible. And that shit is annoying.
Fname Optional Lname
but they had a same sex experience in college and damn it that gives them a golden ticket to talk down to any LGBTQ person because “they get it”.
Harley
She should wear here Terran Empire uniform to polling places with a sign “Vote Republican and you too will live in the evil universe.”
Donston
I will say that marriage is still the ultimate statement. You can identify as however you wish, live whatever lifestyle, have whatever dimensions in your sexuality, have experienced whatever fluidity, be wherever in the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotional investment, commitment spectrum. But marriage is still the ultimate political and sociological statement. More folks need to accept that.
Openminded
I agree with you, Donston. Unfortunately, too many people today look at marriage as a temporary arrangement, just as fluid as someone who is first beginning to figure out their sexuality.
sfhairy
Love her as an actress, but whatever happened to just experimenting with your sexuality before just landing on the fact that you’re straight. This doesn’t make you queer or gay, or LGBTQ+ACDEFHIJKMNOPRSUVWXYZ. Just show your love and support to your “queer” friends.
jw8890
People like you are exactly why bisexual and pansexual people are scared to come out.
Prax07
Was about to say “Who?”, But After seeing the other pics I recognize her. I love her character on Discovery. Cool she feels she’s one of us, good for her. Her husband’s cute too, lucky her!
BigJohnSF
Why would she be proud to identify as a sex pervert? She could be proud to be gay, or bi-sexual, but proud to be a queer?
jw8890
Some of these comments here are disgusting. Bisexual people exist. Pansexual people exist. No its not just a phase or experimentation. Bi and pan people face more erasure within the queer community than they do by straight people. And identifying as queer is not identifying as a sex pervert
missvamp
thank you- pan people are real & we are valid. saying you’re queer isn’t perversion. wtf is wrong with some of the people who post here? why isn’t there any moderation of the comments? ugh.
jw8890
@missvamp its basically a bunch of bitter bettys who couldnt live thier truth so bash those who are doing so now. And theyre probably the first ones in line attacking the homophobes when they themselves are no better.
As to moderation ive had a few of my comments calling out the bitter queens disappear
Openminded
@jw8890, I had to reread your second comment 3- times before I figured out you were NOT calling out Missvamp. I guess I’m dense tonight.
I too, thank you for pointing out that Pan and Bi people exist and are not just a fluid group of people on their way to a different final destination of sexuality. I’m happily Bi and don’t see myself changing.
jw8890
@openminded im Bi myself and i get so tired of hearing that im just experimenting or trying out which i like best. I know i lean more towards male then women, but it doesnt change the fact that i still find women attractive