RED MEATHEADS

Morrissey Compares Norway Massacre Victims To Delicious Fast Food

Last week, not-so-ambiguously gay crooner Morrissey used the victims of the recent Norwegian massacre to draw attention to the tons of animals slaughtered for fast-food chains.

While onstage at a concert, the Maudlin One said, “We all live in a murderous world, as the events in Norway have shown, with 97 dead. Though that is nothing compared to what happens in McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Shit every day.” Morrissey’s management originally refused to comment, saying that the statement spoke for itself.

But now he’s decided to dig his hole even deeper, err… we mean, elaborate further by comparing the killing victim to delicious Big Macs and the Colonel’s extra-tasty crispy chicken.

“The recent killings in Norway were horrific. As usual in such cases, the media give the killer exactly what he wants: worldwide fame. We aren’t told the names of the people who were killed – almost as if they are not considered to be important enough, yet the media frenzy to turn the killer into a Jack The Ripper star is …. repulsive. He should be unnamed, not photographed, and quietly led away. The comment I made onstage at Warsaw could be further explained this way: Millions of beings are routinely murdered every single day in order to fund profits for McDonalds and KFCruelty, but because these murders are protected by laws, we are asked to feel indifferent about the killings, and to not even dare question them. If you quite rightly feel horrified at the Norway killings, then it surely naturally follows that you feel horror at the murder of ANY innocent being. You cannot ignore animal suffering simply because animals ‘are not us.'”

Morrissey’s argument misses one very important point: the Norway shootings victims are nowhere near as tasty as McAngus Deluxes or Double Down Chicken Sandwiches. So juicy, so artery-clogging, so denim-rippingly delicious!

In a similarly tasteless vein, PETA recently compared penned animals to slaves and handed out leaflets dressed in KKK robes. Awesome job, you guys!