Gay silver foxes avoid falling prey to aging – it’s part of their charm. Their hotness makes their grey hair seem youthful. But telling someone they look good for their age won’t get you laid, so the term empowers verbalizing attraction.
Make every birthday sexier than just a number, and get to know the gays embracing the years like fine wine.
What is a gay silver fox?
The gay silver fox is the aspirational archetype for aging, though the popular phrase can also be found in mainstream culture, akin to “silver daddy.” However, these men tend to want to be compared to anything but your dad.
Urban Dictionary puts it simply: “An attractive older man. Generally, one that has gray hair and is often desired by younger women.”
You can bet plenty of young fellows appropriated the term for their lust.
Yet the pressure to remain attractive until you die is felt palpably more among gay men than their heterosexual counterparts.
Therefore, to be called a silver fox is the stamp of approval that your years on Earth haven’t done away with your sex appeal. It’s empowering, but attraction – and youth – is relative. Still, grey or white hair, maturity, a fit physique, and dapperness are defining factors.
Who was the first ‘silver fox man’?
Although most tribes from the gay animal kingdom originated with bears in the 1970s, silver foxes aren’t necessarily a gay subculture. The look permeates Hollywood, the fashion industry, and men of all ages.
Famous figures given this title typically have success and charisma as enviable as their looks. You can say the whole package, like the guy everyone wants to marry.
The Advocate dubbed 2008 “The Age of the Silver Fox,” channeling the likes of Anderson Cooper and George Clooney – who, by the way, are all still silver foxes!
That’s the beauty of the phenomenon and how it defies stereotypes associated with aging. Take care of yourself, and you might be a sex icon for the rest of your days. Pedro Pascal, anyone?
But whose silver came first? A 1995 obituary in the New York Times reveals the title was given to country singer Charlie Rich during his peak in the 1970s, which means it’s also possible the gays invented it since that was around the same time as the birth of gay subcultures.
A step away from a hyper-masculine, youth-obsessed culture
Silver fox culture uniquely presented an alternative path to manhood. It allowed men to live their best lives rather than overcompensate via the plethora of ways midlife crises tend to manifest.
“I think it’s a bit of a slap in the face of the overpumped Abercrombie- or Hollister-wearing guy,” Daniel Peddle, a prominent fashion-industry scout, told the Advocate, “more normal, not exaggerated, masculinity. There’s something feminine about it.”
Unlike the wolf, the fox embodies a less ravenous approach to sex appeal. These men are sly with style and wit. It was a departure from the muscly leather-clad Tom of Finland type of man, metamorphosizing hotness into sophistication.
Without further ado, meet some of the slyest celebrity silver foxes
Let’s catch some silver foxes, shall we? But don’t expect to tame them. Feeling your best makes you want to put it into action.
Of course, we have to crown the silver fox king Anderson Cooper
We stan a silver fox who knows good sex, right Dan Savage?
We’ll help PETA’s Dan Matthews save the animals any day of the week
Jon Hamm, our favorite hetero bulge – and silver fox
Step into the years with your sexiest foot forward
Life is short if you live in the past, but it can be long and deliciously decadent if you embrace your inner fox.
The LGBT community is liberated from the status quo, including society’s false narratives and imaginary pressures. Ironically, many gay men put older men on a lustful pedestal until it’s their turn to become them. Others count the birthdays as if their attractiveness is on a timer.
But the truth is insecurity haunts most people in every decade of their life, especially the youngins! But silver foxes stop worrying about what they can’t control while taking the proper steps to be their best version. The grey hair is a way of saying they’re proud of every year or not trying to stop them.
Gay men should understand better than anyone what a blessing it is to reach old age. There was a time when that wasn’t promised.
And, after all, what’s sexier than a person who considers their peak to be whatever moment they’re in?
We see sexy in your future! Subscribe to the Queerty newsletter to know what’s happening with everyone else.
dbmcvey
There were silver foxes well before 2008. I give you ’70s porn star Richard Locke, and he was certainly not the first.
winemaker
Wow, blast from the past about gay porn star Richard Locke. He was a bartender in San Francisco at the now closed Castro Station, ( now the Bar on Castro ) on Castro street in the early – mid 80’s. He left San Francisco and moved to Sacramento and passed away from AIDS a few years later. Unlike many gay men in San Francisco he had a friendly demeanor, unlike a lot of gay men here.
bachy
Isn’t that image of George Clooney a Madame Tussauds figure?
FreddieW
You may think they aren’t “falling prey to aging”, but that’s only because you’re young and dumb.
JustMuscles1
It’s still a label at any age that kills the mood. I’m 62 and have nary a grey hair. Sure, I have some greying, but many started turning back to their brunette color on its own. I’d never seen that happen to anyone in my life. My father, a very handsome Clark Gabel-looking man at 61, started to dye his sideburns with Clairol hair dye in the 1970’s. I made a pact with myself, never that I would ever do that. It just seemed needless. I hope that when it appears more aggressively, it comes in in a cool pattern, like the Bride of Frankenstein’s.
dbmcvey
I think men dying their hair is a mistake. When they’re lit from behind it looks like their head is on fire.
Rueerty
What about Colton Ford?
Magnus1999
Good god yes. Yes!
Jim
“Defy age with sex appeal”!!
Sex appeal comes in all ages.
Man About Town
Don’t forget Barbra’s va-va-voom husband, James Brolin!
crhuante
We can’t do anything about getting older, but we can definitely impact how we age—that’s very much within our control. More important than the gray and the moniker is the character, integrity and measure of a man we should have developed into by this stage of life. Personal growth is a lifelong process. Those that do it right exude sex appeal with the softness of a wise sage.
winemaker
Awesome article and about time! Whoever said 40 is over the hill had his head up his ass or looked into the mirror and didn’t like what he saw, overweight or fat and out of shape etc and thinks 40 is over the hill. One of the great things about being an older gay guy ( in shape having taken care of himself since his 20’s ) and over 40 is we don’t have time for nonsense, playing games, BULLSHIT and drama. We’ve been around the block a few times and know what we want out of life and are not willing to settle. As an older gay man myself, I thank God I had my AHA moment in my mid 20’s when I came out, got into shape, dieted and broke my ass to lose a ton of weight to look good and fit into the gay ideal look, whatever that is, still can’t figure it out, and over the years it has paid dividends that’re incalculable. I no longer feel the need to work myself to exhaustion 5 – 6 days a week or eat only rabbit food and the feeling is great and if the men don’t like the way I look, that’s their issue. More articles like this please Queerty instead of the constant mindless drivvel about nonsense.