Oh, the SHADE!: RuPaul says it “feels weird” that Madonna is “chasing arena tours” at 65

“I f*cking hate giving interviews,” RuPaul says bluntly at the top of his interview with Ronan Farrow. And it’s probably the least surprising thing he says throughout their conversation, which is the basis of a juicy new must-read profile in The New Yorker.

Because even though Ru has become one of the most famous drag queens—one of the most famous people—in the world, with his Emmy-winning RuPaul’s Drag Race now a global franchise he’s actually quite the private person.

But perhaps he’s a bit more of an open book at the moment, ahead of the release of his new memoir The House Of Hidden Meanings on March 5. Otherwise, we’re not quite sure how Farrow managed to get so much piping hot tea straight from the mouth of Mama Ru.

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For starters, there’s the revelation that “the queen of drag” has been studying castles—spending most of his nights binge-watching a “Secrets Of Great British Castles” docuseries—in preparation for the worst.

“We are moments away from f*cking civil war,” Ru tells Farrows. “All the signs are there. Humans on this planet are in the cycle of destruction. I am plotting a safety net.”

While he “wouldn’t call it a bunker,” he reveals he’s in the middle of constructing a “fortified compound” on he and his husband’s ranch in Wyoming designed to keep them safe (“it’s a lot of concrete and a lot of things”) in the event of impending doomsday—whether than be the aforementioned civil war, or some other sort of end-of-times catastrophe.

Of course, sharing the location of said fortified compound in a glossy magazine profile feels like #1 on a list of “things not to do when you’re building a secret bunker,” but you can’t fault Ru for planning ahead. (Personally, we can’t wait to tune in for the spin-off RuPaul’s Drag Race: The Wyoming Neutral Territory once that civil war breaks out.)

And speaking of: What goes down on that Wyoming ranch seems to be a big part of why Ru’s been more press shy in recent years. “Oh, the fracking?” Yes, the fracking, which also comes up in the piece. After asking about the controversy surrounding the matter, Farrow notes that Ru sounds “weary” and “defiantly annoyed.”

“Do you buy gas? Before you point the finger, smell it first, b*tch,” Ru cracks to Farrow. “There’s no combination of words I can put together that would soothe the mob.”

But it’s not all doom and gloom. The wide-ranging piece also delves into RuPaul’s awe-inspiring story, from growing up in a broken home in San Diego to his move to Atlanta, where he found himself through the “genderf*ck” side of drag, eventually meeting and making music with Randy Barbato and Fenton Bailey, the men who would go on to found World Of Wonder and co-produce the Drag Race empire.

Related:

LISTEN: Before becoming the cultural juggernaut he is today, RuPaul was a total ‘Sex Freak’

Ru also gets emotional when talking about his husband, Georges LeBar, who he met while dancing at a New York nightclub in the ’90s (who apparently asked to floss Ru’s teeth their first night together!). By all accounts, the two have a lovely life together, and maintain a healthy open relationship, which Ru says is “just realistic… there’s no such thing as monogamy with men.”

And, more famous than ever at 63, it’s clear Ru’s been thinking a lot about aging gracefully in the spotlight—even comparing himself to another star who’s been around the block a few times: Madonna (who Ru says once gave him a “snarl of contempt” at a club back in the ’80s).

“In aging, there is a natural flow,” he opines. “And, when you’re against the flow, it doesn’t look right, it doesn’t feel right. The energy around the Madonna thing—it feels weird, right?,” Ru adds, referring to her “chasing arena tours and grills in your teeth.”

Wait a minute… was that a read?

Madonna, for her part, seems to have preemptively responded during a recent stop on Celebration Tour. “When you b*tches try to drag me about my age,” she says in a viral clip, “I’ll see you when you’re 65. Let’s just see how you’re doing!”

@boyculturedotcom Madonna on Age: "I'll see you when you're 65, okay? Let's just see how you're doin'!" #madonna #ageism #celebrationtour ♬ original sound – Matthew Rettenmund/BoyCulture

“I’m not interested in appealing to eleven-to-twenty-five-year-olds, I’m just not,” Ru tells Farrow. “I can, on a bigger level, as a mother. As Mama Ru. It’s a different relationship—I’m not trying to be them.”

Well then! It’s clear, at this point in his career, Ru’s not necessarily worried about playing nice or making a new fans. All of which just makes us even more excited to read that new memoir—what other tea will be spilled once we all pay a visit to The House Of Hidden Meanings? We can hardly wait to find out.

Related:

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Both Madonna and Trinity lost their moms at a young age.