Over 30 States Have Applied For Secession From The US Following Election

If you thought the 2012 election figuratively divided the country, shit’s fixin’ to get literal. Nearly two-thirds of the union have decided to kick it way old school – like 1860  – by petitioning the White House with requests for secession. Will you look at that, Tony Perkins was right for a change…thus signaling the end of days.

So far Louisiana, Texas, Alabama, North Carolina, Florida, Kentucky, Georgia, Mississippi, Indiana, Montana, North Dakota, New Jersey, Oregon, Colorado, New York, South Carolina, Michigan, Missouri, Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Arizona, Pennsylvania, Nevada, Delaware, California, Ohio, Wyoming, Utah, Kansas and Alaska have all filed petitions with the White House’s We the People website.

The most popular by far is Texas, living up to its moniker as the Lone Star State,  with over 60,000 signatures – meanwhile, petitions only need 25,000 for an official White House response. According to the state’s petition, America is just weighin’ em down:

The US continues to suffer economic difficulties stemming from the federal government’s neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending. The citizens of the US suffer from blatant abuses of their rights such as the NDAA, the TSA, etc. Given that the state of Texas maintains a balanced budget and is the 15th largest economy in the world, it is practically feasible for Texas to withdraw from the union, and to do so would protect it’s citizens’ standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government.

These “original ideas and beliefs” wouldn’t have anything to do with the legalization of gay marriage in Minnesota, Maryland and Washington (whose secession petitions are noticeably absent)…would it? Wait, and it certainly couldn’t have to do with the re-election of that…black guy, could it?

Louisiana has also met and exceeded the 25,000 required signatures, invoking the Declaration of Independence, something the author of this Georgian petition (1 of 2) is probably not familiar with: “just like in 1860 the south secede from the union. 2012 the state of georgia would like to withdraw from the USA.” Simple (and lacking several basic facets of a complete sentence) but effective – combined, both petitions have over 25,000 signatures.

Though its unlikely that President Obama will grant any state the right to secede – we’re looking at you Alabama – the nation is in serious need of some bonding time.What do ya say we all build a giant bonfire out of Ohio and Uncle Joe Biden can lead us all in a rendition of “America, the Beautiful”? Or we could just settle this the old school way, but who has bayonets nowadays?

Oh right…Texas.

(h/t: Politico)

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  • Mjl-428

    1 thing: several of those states (California, New Jersey, Ohio, New York, Florida, Nevada, Delaware, Oregon, Michigan) were part of what got the President Re-Elected in the First place, so I doubt they’re 100% on this topic.

    2nd thing: I have a strong feeling that only white people signed these petitions, so yeah, Racist you can definitely call it right. even if it was a few Blacks, Hispanics, or Asians, the strong majority of people who voted for Romney and started kicking and screaming when they lost were white.

    3rd thing: I don’t think these people really care about this country because if they did, they wouldn’t be crying and trying to pull an 1860. They just think that their rights are in danger because a few other got treated equally. The south claimed that they cared about the country too and where it was going when they seceded. and they also wanted to keep people like me chained up and with no education either. But it’s not their fault*

  • Mjl-428

    I didn’t know your comment could await moderation for saying the word racist

  • Mjl-428

    my comments go put in moderation*

  • Mjl-428


  • 2eo

    Racist and intolerant people wanting to pull away from the concept of individual rights. Sounds a lot like how America was founded. Isn’t there some jerkwater berg just off America these bigots could be sent too.

    We sure don’t want them back.

  • 2eo

    Woo moderation too. Lets be mod buddies.

    So err.. how the weather?

  • gjschell

    Maine*, Maryland, and Washington legalized gay marriage. Minnesota just didn’t ban it constitutionally; it’s still illegal there.

  • Mjl-428

    @2eo: rainy over here. it seems I always get in trouble for saying the r word :)

  • Dumdum

    I say wait for more natural disasters. Fire, floods, earthquakes and hurricanes. Then cut those bi**ches loose. In fact cut New York off right now. Damn the lifeboats! It is every man for himself. Since we Gays are all powerful lets make a giant gold phallus and have heathen pagan rituals, sacrifice a couple of virgins and REALLY PISS GOD OFF.

  • Dumdum

    Technically if you have never had sex with a woman, you are still a virgin. Buggery doesn’t count. Hey that’s their religion. I don’t make up the rules.

  • the other Greg

    The Republican states are all moochers and parasites. They take much more federal money than the taxes they send in: Texas very much included!

  • Ridpathos

    I say make a gift of Texas back to Mexico.

  • Mjl-428

    there’s already a petition to deport their ungrateful asses. I say sign it and share it

  • DJ Veno

    I’m terrified and speechless. I’m more worried about the people who are about to be put in a bad situation.

  • Dakotahgeo

    Heh, heh, heh, (snark, snark). I’d love to see these renegade (no offense, my NoAmNative friends)states go just one month without Momma USA’s tit to suck on! They can’t even plow snow from their streets, nor clean their streets from strong winds without Mammykin’s help. Let them go (at least the southern, southern tier) and watch how much the USA improves. Of course, the ones left in the Union retain all oil and water rights, plus oceanfronts of “our” country! Yeah, give THAT a try for 60-90 days. Unnngh! Y’know, this is the stupid thinking that got the Republican/TPod Party in hot water in the first place. Yu’d thunk they’d leern (sic)!!!

  • kayakriver

    “divide an conquer”, said an evil force lusting for Earth to become a battleground.

  • Georgiaboy

    Texas will stay with the Southern States, Georgia will be with Texas

  • tdx3fan

    I would love to see Texas succeed from the Union. Lets see how big their economy becomes when they are boycotted and unrecognized by every single leading nation of the world because they are so full of douche bags that if they were not hiding under the United States umbrella they would be getting nowhere.

  • macmantoo

    The problem with states like Georgia, Texas and Alabama leaving the Union is those states would promote slavery. It’s nothing more than a bunch crybaby republicans who lost, who can’t stand losing. If they think their tax rates are high now, wait untill the US isn’t supporting them.

    I think in most of those states the low income people would leave those states because they know they would never have a chance to get ahead.In that case the states would resort to slavery to have people work for the rich.

  • jwrappaport

    I know so many charming and nice people from Texas – it’s a pity that state tends to alienate them to the point that they leave for good.

  • avesraggiana

    Texas wants to Secede?! Go ahead! Is there an organization I can join to help?! Say, United States Friends for the Secession of the Great State of Texas?

    Notice how Texans are always threatening to secede, they just don’t want you to want them to secede. One more thing – California has the eighth largest economy in the World, down a few notches from fifth, but still ahead of Texas’ puny fifteenth placing.

  • Charlie in Charge

    Trying to secede? That’s treason – arrest the signature-gatherers.

  • MK Ultra

    These same people also love to talk about civil war.
    Its such a joke!
    Go ahead, try to start a civil war.
    That huge military you love pouring the taxpayers’money in will be used against you.
    Let me tell you, your whole arsenal of arms can’t match theirs.

  • Dumdum

    OK girls chill out. It is just posturing by a bunch of blowhards. A government that robs Peter to pay Paul, can always depend on the support of Paul.

  • Dionte

    Collect all the people that want out and put them on the largest island that can hold them, problem solved.

  • Mischiefwolf

    Okay, I have to call Queerty out on the title and tone of this article. 30 states have not petitioned for secession. 30 individuals who live within those states have taken it one themselves to act as though they speak for all residents of that state, and their state’s government and start these petitions. I’m sorry, but framing this as if the States, thereby implying that it is official representatives of their governments, starting these petitions is irresponsible reporting.

  • Monster429

    I’ll be honest and say I don’t really understand what would happen to these states if they were to secede from the union, but I personally believe if the state as a whole really wants to secede, then they should have the freedom to make that chose. I really don’t think this is about Marriage Equality or a race issue, anyway hasn’t New York allowed marriage equality, and out of all of our states, that would be the most accepting of a president that isn’t White (besides California). I don’t really mean to offend anyone by saying this, this is just my personal opinion, and it is NOT a race issue at all and I’m sorry if you take it as one. But let’s all be truly honest, Obama isn’t the best president, he was the best candidate out of all of the idiots that ran, but he hasn’t economically done the best for our nation, socially he has really moved us forward, though. I really don’t see the secession as a problem with his race, we’ve had just as bad, if not worse White presidents, so come on. I also don’t believe president is the best position for Obama, I’m not saying that I think he shouldn’t be in government/politics, I just don’t think he was meant to be our president. If the states believe that they could do better on there own, then why not let them try. America is meant to be a beacon of Justice & freedom, and we’re lucky to live in a nation that lets us govern ourselves, and gives us the freedom to make our own decisions (though, we don’t always have control of the consequences) we at least know what they are, and that they’re reasonable, but in that we also can make the decision not to agree with our nation and leave if we’d like, so why not let them excessive that decision, as long as they understand the consequences… and I just wanna say that before anyone starts shooting off their mouth about how I’m racist, or against Obama because he’s black or whatever, that I myself am a racially mixed person, and have been discriminated agaisnt because of it, and saying that just proves how ignorant you really are.

  • Mjl-428

    @Monster429: We all know President Obama hasn’t been exactly good at his job. there’s no doubt to that. but for the past four years we’ve had people who claim to be far right, admit that they would do anything to take his seat away from him, which was greatly at the cost of the country’s welfare. not only that, but their actions have allowed the people with the worst qualities of humanity to start sprouting up again. We all know that the Phelps family, FRC, NOM, insert anti-people group here may have been around for years but it almost feels like they got a free pass to come up and be more open about it, while hiding behind the “religious freedom” crap. Hell, we’ve had news reports of people making Obama targets or anything that displays the President as any Black stereotype in the book over the past four years. It didn’t matter to them that he has mixed. I know it was generalizing to say that the Romney voters, and the people who made the secession petitions were racist, but I wouldn’t doubt that some of these people may be coming from a racist standpoint.

  • Dawson

    Isn’t this considered treason?

    Shouldn’t we be looking at locking these nuts up?

    Or better yet give them a one way ticket to the country of their choice and revolk their citizenship.

    Where is the Republican party during all of this? Oh yes, I forgot they want unity. Sure they do.

    I would love Texas to leave the union but is this really what America stands for?

    But then again all you have to say is it’s Texas. That speaks for itself.

  • Will L

    @Mischiefwolf: Yes, one loose nut can’t speak for an entire state. However, it these individuals were to move to… say… Arizona, the rest of us could petition to kick them from the union. So many of them threatened to move to Canada if Obama won and now they find out that Canada doesn’t want them either. :-)

  • FStratford

    Let’s boot Texas out!

    That way we can claim that George Bush and George W Bush were NEVER our presidents!

    Woooo Hooo!!

Comments are closed.