Pastor Claims Gay People Are Possessed By “Fart Demons” That Can Drive Pigs To Suicide

maxresdefaultJust when we thought we’d heard it all, this guy opened his mouth.

Bert Farias (pictured), founder of Holy Fire Ministries, claims to know the “raw, naked truth” about why people are gay: They are possessed by “fart demons.” Yes, fart demons.

Oh, but it gets better.

Farias also claims that in choosing to be gay, a person chooses to engage in “unclean demonic practices.” Once that happens, they become possessed by “putrid-smelling” demons so stinky they can drive pigs to suicide.

In an interview with Charisma magazine, Farias begged gay people to “not get upset with me” as he explained his groundbreaking new theory.

“[You] will see that I am actually trying to help you,” he assured them.

He continued: “Homosexuality is actually a demon spirit. It is such a putrid smelling demon that other demons don’t even like to hang around it.”

He then went on to recount a story from the Bible to illustrate his fascinating point:

island-routes-caribbean“There is an account in the Bible where Jesus casts out 2,000 demons out of a man. The demons came out screaming and begged Jesus to send them into the pigs. The pigs didn’t want them, so they ran down a steep hill and were drowned in the sea.”

“Pigs have more sense than some humans,” he added. “People embrace homosexual demons, but the pigs would rather die than be possessed with demons.”

And how exactly does Farias know all this?

One of God’s prophets personally phoned to let him know.

“A genuine prophet of God told me that the Lord allowed him to smell this demon spirit, and he got sick to his stomach,” he said.

Farias also warned that the growing acceptance of homosexuality in the United States is a sign from the man upstairs that our society is in “the last stages of decay” and that there will be severe “destructive physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences.”

In conclusion, Farias said: “Our culture’s acceptance and celebration of gay behavior will never make it right. Wrong is wrong no matter how many people are for it. And right is right no matter how many people are against it.

Homosexuality is not new. It’s been around for thousands of years. It’s as old as the devil himself.”

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  • DB75

    Interesting. My doctors said I have colitis, but apparently this man seems to know more than anyone in the scientific field.

    I’m so over listening to and fighting against the insane religious zealots. But I will turn a blind eye if someone wants to take them out.

  • BobInTheBul

    Lordy. Words fail me.

  • Nowuvedoneit

    He seems awfully preoccupied with what goes in and out of butts.

  • hyhybt

    In all that lunacy, he did manage to get one thing right: “Wrong is wrong no matter how many people are for it. And right is right no matter how many people are against it.” He’s just grossly (in more ways than one) wrong about which is which.

    @Nowuvedoneit: Doesn’t he, though.

  • Tracy Pope

    This man is a “pastor”.
    I would expect him to know his bible better then that.

    The pigs didn’t run into the sea to escape being possessed.
    Jesus allowed the demons to possess the pigs and the
    demons drove the pigs into the sea.

    Now, this story – and the story about about the pigs – is a very good illustration as to why so many believe that purveyors of religion are demented and the bible is lunacy.

  • bsaucy00

    He’s on to us Guy’s! The jig is up and he must be destroyed before people start to believe him!

    Man is clearly disturbed and because he believes the voices in his head are God he must be a prophet and not actually insane.

  • Larry

    What is it with all these religious people and a strange affection for animals?

  • Paco

    How has this guy (and others like him) avoided being involuntarily committed to a mental institution? There is a breakdown in the system somewhere. I will gladly pay more in taxes for him to get the help he needs. It is our social responsibility after all.

  • chinadad

    Maybe this explains why I like farting so much. That, or maybe I’m a just a regular guy.

    • hyhybt

      @chinadad: It beats the alternative of holding it in until you burst.

  • Hillers

    The designer specs and mustard dress shirt paint this fella as your stock middle-aged queen. And note the Evian bottle nearby to “keep hydrated.” MMMmmmm hm!

  • Dxley

    Just open the comments on every article, Queerty, or don’t bother posting them!

  • DarSco

    LOLOL this guy is a arsehole!! I cannot believe that there are people this stupid on the planet.

  • barkomatic

    Well, I have been a little gassy lately. Damn demons.

  • tdx3fan

    @DB75: If he truly knew more than all other people in science he would recognize his own psychotic features.

  • tdx3fan

    @Paco: Believe that Jesus speaks directly to him and hear him speaking… prophet.

    Believe your dead relative speaks directly to you and you can heal them speaking… psychotic features.

    Funny how that works!

  • PJBFan

    I…oww…my head…I lack the words to respond to this. My head hurts.

  • Geoff B

    Homosexuals are not possessed by fart demons. My very straight brother after my Dad’s chili on the other hand…..

  • T.Owen

    I rename this pastor Fart Berias. Fitting for a shart demon expert.

  • Mezaien

    Christianity IS a mental illness! Christian ARE mentally ill.

  • T.Owen

    @Mezaien: Just Christianity?

  • Riverhog

    What A Nut Case it takes all kind of idiots. What next? They will do anything to push they bigot agenda and religious bigotry.

  • abuelo

    That’s the best explanation I’ve ever heard! What a riot this guy is. I had to check the article again to see if it’s from the Onion. Comedy writers need to worry cause this guy has got them beat! I’ll bet his audience is fun to look at too! Baboso! Slang in Peru meaning “a drooling idiot”

  • Ben Dover

    As a kid I was always puzzled by that Bible passage (Matthew 8:31) because – as you can see from that cute photo – PIGS CAN SWIM!

    Plus, why were there so many pigs in a Jewish area anyway? It just didn’t make sense.

  • hoosier1969

    @Ben Dover Jesus wasn’t in a Jewish area when he healed the man possessed by demons. But Matthew was written for the Jewish converts; so having the demons cast into an “unclean” animal just made sense.

    As a liberal Christian I am amazed at the amount of time these guys (and they are all guys…) waste worrying about morality. Aren’t there a bunch of kids in crisis at our border? Is everyone in our nation being fed and have jobs and healthcare? Do we love our neighbors as ourselves? Seems to me that Jesus (if he were here now) would be more worried about those issues. Also, we are the very people he would be having dinner with.

    Of course he might want to sit upwind from me tonight….I had Mexican for dinner and the “fart demons” are working overtime.

  • michael mellor

    I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these homophobes take it up the ass occasionally.

  • offbeatoh86

    Clearly Farias has never visited a farm or he would know that male pigs sometimes try to mate with other male pigs.

  • chrisgn5265

    “Mom and Dad, I have something to tell you. I have a putrid-smelling demon inside me. I guess that makes me a bottom.”

  • Moonkitty1984

    @chrisgn5265: LOL

  • blklthrjkt

    This guy is a jerk, but on reading his real article, he never once mentioned “Fart Demon”. If you are going to sensationalize this you don’t need to put words in his mouth, he is perfectly capable of demonstrating his “douchiness” himself. No need to lie.

  • graveetas

    Is he advocating holy butt plugs for all to keep the fart demons in? I see marketing potential at the church gift shops and gay conversion camps.

    • Riverhog

      If it comes with Holy Water and Holy Lube I take one. What size do they have and do they have the double headed one?

  • bree_Zee

    The stupidity of this man is what’s really offensive.

  • bree_Zee

    @Ben Dover: Did the fart demons run down the hill and drown themselves? Or was it the pigs? Or the guys the fart demons were expelled from? “They” would modify pigs so the pigs committed suicide which I’m pretty sure is frowned upon in the bible.

  • Fart Demon

    Oh fuck.

  • sfmike64

    I know I don’t have fart demons, but my French Bulldog, Beau? His farts will drive grown men to sob and take the paint off of walls.

  • bambamboom777

    It’s getting to the point where I can’t distinguish between the actual rightwing nuts and the parodies of them. How can you satirize such people when they’re already so already so absurd and over-the-top to begin with. Someone needs to put the brakes on the crazy train, it’s outta control.

  • switcher

    Does he use the holy fire to light his fart demons?

  • SouthPaw81

    @offbeatoh86: That’s cuz they still got the fart demon up in ’em! LOL

  • texican

    So are there Queef Demons too then ;-)

  • texican

    @Fart Demon: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, best ever!

  • mckaths

    My sister just pointed out to me that this man’s last name could be pronounced “Fairy Ass”

  • flexdoc

    If that were true we’d have gotten rid of Republicans ages ago.

  • brickdr66

    @Tracy Pope: Was wondering if anybody would catch that.

  • pdquick

    I had that once. It turned out to be giardiasis. Tinidazole cleared right up. Now my farts just smell like Crisco. Still a big ‘mo, though.

  • stockyone73

    OH for farts sakes….

  • Johnny Baptist

    Funny. You fags should be put through conversion classes, locked up in Sanitariums, or drug out and shot.

  • SAasianboi

    he was right about one thing pigs do have more sense than humans, especially this nut case….

  • SAasianboi

    @offbeatoh86: yes! because they have fart demons!

  • SAasianboi

    oh wait does he fart too? if he does, does that mean that he gets an uncontrollable hankering to have sex with another dude? does he specifically eat foods that make him fart so that he has an excuse to have sex with other men and then blame it on the demons?

  • SAasianboi

    I am a vector biologist and parasitologist, if I interpret his science correctly, any type of food that produces gas should also be banned as sin because demons use spicy food and the like to transfer demons…..

  • SAasianboi

    @flexdoc: hahahaha!

  • David

    Pigs can swim. So can Rats. Pigs are supposed to be smarter than rats, yet even rats are smart enough to leave a ship as soon at it starts to sink. Too bad this guy isn’t as smart as a pig or a rat. Maybe if he stopped spending so much time thinking about having sex with another man, he’d do a better job at interpeting scripture.
    Gays and lesbians and everything else exists because it’s part of God’s plan. The Bible is very clear on this. One examples is Colossians 1:16:
    King James Bible
    For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him.
    Then there is the passage from Galations 3:28
    King James Bible
    There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
    If there is no longer male or female then it doesn’t matter if a person is gay, lesbian, staright, bi or even asexual.
    But that sort of reasoining just pisses the fundamentalists off.

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