The story so far: Perez Hilton wants fans to know he’s thankful for the support they lavished upon him in the minutes and hours following a video he posted to Instagram in which he forthrightly succumbs to a bout of weepies and bereft boo-hoos.
The blogger and reality TV casualty revealed in the tear-stained, self-directed clip that he was absolutely gutted after being unceremoniously fired from a “career changing” role.
Perez — who has been widely criticized for nakedly mean-spirited posts about celebs’ appearance, height, and personal foibles — sobbed that “there is a reason this happened, and I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry again, I guess I have to say that again more often. I’m sorry.”
After posting the video of himself weeping to Instagram, the veritable cyber-Svengali further coaxed warm fuzzies from our brittle, bitter hearts by switching gears and turning to Twitter, where he thanked followers for all their “support.”
“It’s really overwhelming seeing all your support,” he writes, quite possibly weeping and seized by vapors. “Things are much better this week! THANK YOU!!”
It's really overwhelming seeing all your support! Things are much better this week! THANK YOU!! https://t.co/MUqnVEyLky
— Perez (@ThePerezHilton) August 15, 2017
Shortly after Old Man McGillicudy uprooted the rotted tree trunk in Grover’s Gulley, fans began feebly rising from the soft peat to offer Perez support and encouragement, with one eerily writing “redemption & forgiveness is on ur side.”
They call themselves #TeamPerez, which isn’t sad:
It’s hard to say how well his #TeamPerez hashtag is going, because there are literally hundreds of other #TeamPerez hashtags, like this guy:
Hilton refused to reveal what this mystery role was, seeing as he’s a consummate “professional,” so we may never know the truth.
He was also very worried for the children. How would he provide for the children? How would he feed the children?
“It will continue to be hard for me,” he wept.
“And I’m sorry to my kids, because I know that when they get older they are going to have to suffer because of who their dad is.”
Adding further mystery to what this mysterious job entailed, Hilton claims “everyone loved me,” but shadowy higher forces decided he needed to be axed.
Here’s the weepy clip he posted on Instagram, with the caption, “This is why I’ve been so sad. I’m sorry!”