Each week, Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week. Have a nominee for DOTW? E-mail it to us at [email protected].
Today’s Douche of the Week has been on our radar for some time now—ever since he paid a male prostitute to meet him in his Indiana hotel room. Yup, it’s everyone’s favorite married Republican state representative Phil Hinkle!
But Hinkle got busted ordering male escort Kameryn Gibson off Craigslist almost two weeks ago. Why is the politico— who voted for a gay-marriage ban in the Hoosier State—being crowned the DOTW now?
Because of the inane statement he made to the Indianapolis Star on Tuesday. After admitting that he responded to Gibson’s ad looking for a “sugga daddy” and that he paid him $80, Hinkle announced he wasn’t queer in the slightest.
How about we take this to the next level?
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“I say that emphatically. I’m not gay.”
So you asked 18-year-old Kameryn Gibson to your hotel room to discuss tax subsidies for family farms? What gives?
“I don’t know,” Hinkle said. “I’m telling you, I don’t know…I was on the road to self-destruction,” he said, “and I don’t know why.”
Maybe we’d buy Hinkle’s claim of heterosexuality if he had some kind of explanation for what he was doing with Gibson, who says he nixed the tryst when he realized Hinkle was a lawmaker but that the politico groped him and wouldn’t let him leave. Gibson also says he had to call his sister, Megan, for help when Hinkle became too agressive, and that the lawmaker offered them a substantial bribe to keep quiet. Hinkle—who still refuses to vacate his seat—says he never met Megan and is looking for hotel security tapes to back up that claim.
Yeah, Phil, because that’s your big problem—the triflin’ sister. Not that you paid for sex with a teenager, or that you cheated on your wife, or that you’re now clearly a self-hating closet case.
All together now: What a douche!
Little Kiwi
I’m gay and I’ve never paid a teen for sex.
Oh, Closeted-Homosexual Republicans and their insatiable love for HamBiscuits.
y’all know what HamBiscuits are, right?
http://youtu.be/tTP3eUyOkoE
Jim Hlavac
It’s true, paying for a hustler does not make you gay. But having sex with a guy sure does. Or at least bisexual. Com’n Phil, fess up, resign, and figure yourself out.
Little Kiwi
like when Mr. Restroom Whatshisface was like “I’m not gay, I was just trying to get oral sex from a stranger in a bathroom stall, but i’m not GAY”
uh…..ok.
Mr. Enemabag Jones
Why do we want this anti-gay bigot to be gay–or admit to being gay? He’s an old perv who likes to molest teenage boys. Let GOProud have him.
We need to say out loud that his actions are something that out, and proud, gay men do not do. They are the actions of a closeted degenerate.
christopher di spirito
Republican Rep. Phil Hinkle say: “I say that emphatically. I’m not gay.”
As the male hustler’s cum runs out his ass and down his leg.
xander
@Mr. Enemabag Jones : +1. I expect ‘Hinkle’ to become a verb or noun if it’s not already done so: “Rep. Davis discovered hinkling in his off hours” or “State Sen. Abbott Pulls a Hinkle.”
Hinkle is a prime example of the dangerous, frothy mix of political power and the closeted married man.
Cam
Don’t you just LOVE that every single bigoted right winger that gets caught having sex with a man always tries to claim that it doesn’t mean they are gay.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pierre
I’m not gay either. But my husband is.
Nope
It’s sexist to use douche as an insult. Ask lily tomlin. Her taking offense at that word is why she won’t go on certain talk shows owing to the hosts’ liberal use of same. So I suggest fuckhead of the week lest you think I’m insufferably pc.
ewe
Paying for sex means you are either creepy, old, desperate, ugly or afraid of intimacy. Take your pick. Oh one can also be an ice cold BITCH that is nothin but a taker. That sounds like Hinkle for sure.
B
Reminds me of Trey Parker’s film “Orgasmo”, a spoof about a porn studio that hires a Mormon missionary. Rather than show any x-rated scenes, they put something in the way or just showed some guy with a wide-eyed expression. This guy’s standard line (approximately) was, “I don’t want you to think I’m gay or anything, but you were really hot in that scene!” Finally, near the end of the film, he said, “I don’t want you to think I’m gay or anything, but would you sleep with me?”
It sounds like Phil Hinkle is getting his lines from that movie!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ORCnvGnaAM&NR=1
TMikel
A douche indeed! One has only to look at that face to see a self-loathing closet queen. I came out in 1969 and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. No false marriage, no self-hatred, no fear or guilt. Ilk like Hinkle get what they deserve. A douche indeed!
Hal Shipman
That guy in “Orgasmo” was Matt Stone.
MattGMD
He could have at least had the republican creativity to claim the young man was being interviewed for the task of carrying his luggage. Geez.
B
No. 14 · MattGMD wrote, “He could have at least had the republican creativity to claim the young man was being interviewed for the task of carrying his luggage.”
That excuse was already taken, so he had to come up with a new one. So Hinkle settled on talking about his trick’s sister – any diversion will do in a storm. If he can get everyone talking about her, even if it is about what a lame ploy talking about her is, they won’t be talking about his 18 year old “acquaintance.”
robert in nyc
And, notice how quiet Andrew Breitbart is, on the board of GOPround’s directors? He had a field day when Anthony Weiner fell from grace who did really nothing bad let alone solicit a woman for sexual activity. Notice the silence of the Log Cabin too. Gay and republican = oxymoron.
the crustybastard
“I say that emphatically. I’m not gay.”
Right, because you have a wife.
Which makes you bi.
But that’s not the important takeaway.
The important takeaway is that you’re a mean-spirited hypocritical asshole, and you should die in a fire.
Soon, please.
JKB
He’s not gay. He just likes dick.
slanty
Everything about this episode is hilarious.
o
So Hinkle was the bottom in this little encounter, right?
Rachel's bleeding thumbs
ill swear in coret he’s gay, ill sing a will (with my thum) that says, that says YOUR GAY.
Henry
@o: But if Hinkle was the bottom, that would mean that Gibson was the top.
LandStander
@Nope: Sexist? How is douche sexist? Douches are not an exclusively female tool. Not even close, actually lol. So I am confused…
Henry
@christopher di spirito: Just like the cum ran down Charles Rozier’s asshole after his father raped him.
mike128
We need another word for men who sleep with men but are NOT a member of our community. I don’t want to share “gay” with them, or attempt to plaster them with that label, because it takes away from something I have come to feel is positive about my identity. I wonder if other people here have thoughts about that. Or if Queerty could write an article on the subject.
o
@mike128: Men who sleep with men are called… men who sleep with men. Clearly Hinkle doesn’t think he’s gay. We don’t either. He’s just another closeted old bisexual who wants very young, almost illegally young head.
Jeff in NYC
He isn’t gay. Gay suggests happy-well adjusted homosexual. He’s just a clomo (closeted homo)
B
No. 20 · o wrote, “So Hinkle was the bottom in this little encounter, right?”
Wrong if you use the line from John Waters’ film “Pecker”, when the highly respectable, middle-class parents of a black gogo boy find him at work and his dad says, “I knew it. He’s gay.” He tells them he isn’t – he only gets blow jobs, but doesn’t give them (followed by laughter from the audience).
Alex
You’re really milking this for all it’s worth, Henry 🙂
Kira E Lopez
so douches DO come in Magnum!
james_from_cambridge
@Nope: You are insufferably p.c. Who is Lily Tomlin offended for, the douche? She knows it’s not alive, right?
JoeyB
Now you need to include Senator Roberto Arango, from Puerto Rico, GOP leader on the island.
Riker
@ewe
There are many reasons someone might hire an escort. Someone I know is handicapped, and it’s the only way he feels he can have sex without all the complications; I know a couple of handsome, young, wealthy men who hire escorts because they’re too busy to find someone. Quite a few men you think wouldn’t have difficulty finding any man use escorts because gay life/dating today has become so complicated.
And, yes, older men who have needs (and are no longer considered desirable by most gay men) will hire someone to have one on one connections with another human being.I have not had the pleasure of hiring someone yet, but when I’m 80 and need a man, I just might!
Negative judgments on those who use escorts are uncalled for, especially from other gay men who should know better.
Otis Criblecoblis
Right wing evangelical wingnuts like Hinkle have no shame. One reason is they know their brain-dead followers will believe any bizarre explanation they give for hiring a male prostitute.
Dave
@Crusty Bastard-Yes there are lots of bisexual men but this guy is a closeted gay man and like Larry Craig the marriage to a woman is just for show and so people will think that he’s actually heterosexual.
xander
@mike128 : Like ‘o’ said, those guys are called MSM (men who have sex with men),which labels behaviour, not self ID, and will includes men who also have sex with women.
\/
Why is ‘douche’ a sexist word? Lily Tomlin has issues, it seems.
Schlukitz
“Just because I paid for a hustler doesn’t mean I’m gay.”
Of course it doesn’t.
We’ve all heard the expression, “A fool and his money are soon parted.”
Maybe you’re not gay, but it’s pretty damned obvious that you ARE a fool!
B
No. 37 · Schlukitz wrote, ‘“Just because I paid for a hustler doesn’t mean I’m gay.” Of course it doesn’t. We’ve all heard the expression, “A fool and his money are soon parted.” Maybe you’re not gay, but it’s pretty damned obvious that you ARE a fool!”
Not so obvious – maybe he is not as dumb as he looks but thinks his constituents are fools who will accept such an excuse … or that a silly answer will get the press to go away.
Never underestimate the ability of a politician to say something ridiculous with a straight face when he thinks saying that is to his advantage.
JoeyO'H
“I’m not gay” he says, he just likes sex with guys.
When there is a Republican who is anti- gay marriage or anti- gay that, nine out of ten have a Manhunt, Grindr profile or pay hustlers for sex. When a lawmaker is so anti-gay, I question their personal lives and it ALWAYS comes out!
Schlukitz
@B:
“Never underestimate the ability of a politician to say something ridiculous with a straight face when he thinks saying that is to his advantage.”
Ain’t that the God’s honest truth!
We’ve been watching a whole procession of them. ;
o
@james_from_cambridge: Now, now, let’s not offend the douches. Douches have feelings too.
B-Rad
Sexual desire does not necessarily constitute gay identity. So, in a way…yes he isn’t gay.
B
No. 40 · Schlukitz : “Ain’t that the God’s honest truth! We’ve been watching a whole procession of them. ;”
Here’s a video you might enjoy – an Australian spoof of a politician downplaying an environmental disaster: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-QNAwUdHUQ (there’s an annoying ad at the start – didn’t find a copy without it).
Schlukitz
@B:
That was a hoot, B. Thanks for sharing it with me.
Jaroslaw
#33 I got some time – can you put me in touch with the young wealthy Gay guys who don’t have time to look?
Seriously though, why is the believability of this guy in question? Apparently most of the public accepts any President’s word that we need to go to war, that we need to spend 30 million for ONE helicopter, that we can’t balance the budget, that rich people have worked oh so hard for their money and the only way out of our current economic mess is to tax the middle class out of existence. Compared to those things and many others, it is almost laughable that the man has to explain himself about a hustler. (with the exception of course that he voted to ban SS marriage – he just needs to be voted out of office for that.)