Jersey Sure

PHOTOS: Reality “Star” Joey Kovar Drops The Towel For Playgirl Spread

The latest reality-television veteran to go full frontal in Playgirl is… Joey Kovar!

Who, you ask? No, he’s not Snooki’s newest juicehead crush. Kovar was on MTV’s The Real World: Hollywood and Celebrity Rehab. (There’s a great career arc for you.) Check out some SFW selections from his centerfold spread above.

According to Playgirl editor Nicole Caldwell, Kovar is quite the score for the mag—which allegedly paid him $20,000 to bare it all:

The New York Times and LA Times call him “the most marketable man in the world”. Heidi Fleiss said he should be on the cover of every teen magazine. His show, The Real World, boasts 81 million viewers to the 64 million watching Jersey Shore. His online profile from that show has been eyed more than 68 million times on MTV’s website. So it stands to reason that Joey Kovar… is a hot commodity.

In addition to his sizzling photo shoot, Kovar turns up the heat as he takes on his rivals over on Jersey Shore: “I’m more muscular than them, I’m tanner than them …The Jersey Shore‘ guys have nothing on me.”

Well, they have one more scrap of dignity than you, Joe. And that ain’t saying much.

Kovar’s Playgirl issue hits the streets September 13.

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58 Comments

  • Ron

    Hot dam, what a hunk…I guess I am going to buy that magazine..

  • Arkano18

    Not hot at all.

  • Cam

    When did it become a competition to be “Tanner” than somebody??

  • Sam

    “I’m more muscular than them”….no you just do better roids

  • Little Kiwi

    this is what happens to people who haven’t read a book since high school.

  • andy

    Looks like he is growing breasts?

  • JayKay

    I wouldn’t pay money for it, but when the NSFW pics come out, I’ll take a gander.

  • Jack E. Jett

    Way too much manscaping. I’m glad hairy butts, pubes, and chest hair are making a comeback.

    He is pretty and like JayKay, I will be gandering.

  • NateB79

    “I’m more muscular than them, I’m tanner than them …The Jersey Shore‘ guys have nothing on me.” God what a douchenozzle. I hate that people like this are famous…for NOTHING.

  • Maddie

    I want to play with it wow

  • Maddie

    I feel better so hot man i want to penis

  • Tony

    He’s good looking, but he has major FP..Fat Potential. It looks like if he didn’t work out, he would be overweight, and the older he gets, the more likely he will be fat. Just my two cents.

  • aaiaeoouii

    Well this will be the peak of his career, may as well enjoy it. Its all downhill from here.

  • Scott

    @Ron: You’ll need to view it online, as platform no longer prints any actual magazines. They went web only a while ago.

  • BobC562

    @andy: Uhmmm, that comes from the roid juice and is affectionately known as “bitch tit.”

  • George412

    photo 2 isn’t flattering at all. He has boobs and they are sagging!

  • Ron

    Oh my God, #2 is gross.

  • jj

    let this be a lesson to the kids that roid usage leads to boob formation.

  • Michael

    He’s a beautiful woman great boobs 2!

  • Kyle

    I’ve never been less turned on, is that Snookie?

  • Stac

    OMG!!!! He is soooo Hot!!!!

  • delurker

    that’s the exact same hairstyle he had on the rw like 4 yrs ago. nice smile but too steroid-y.

  • Daniel

    Eww.

  • Teehee

    He can Kovar his whole body for all I care. I don’t want to see it.

  • mg

    Too bad he doesn’t have a handsome face. Normally I wouldn’t make a comment like that, but if your going to pose for a magazine nude, you might want to have a little more going on upstairs…

  • StevenW

    1st photo is the best. I agree that number #2 makes him look saggy. And like a startled hamster.

  • Maddie

    No just have big boobs hahahahah and big dick

  • JDSwell

    He has a douchey (is that even a word?) hairstyle. I am not feeling it, but to each his own.

  • JoeyO'H

    He looks way over built for his frame, too short for an over muscular body. I too appreciate the return of body hair. Hairless guys is so long gone.

    Bring back the hair and macho guys from the 70’s. Not these hairless twinks trying to look like men.

  • hf2hvit

    Too much wax, too much make up and one bad hair do

  • Maddie

    He looks more happy the 1 reason bcoz he naked

  • Matt

    Maddie,

    Wow! Let’s hope English is not your first language!

  • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

    Geeze the poor guy must be a real lotta pain to have to have two hot water bottles drapped over his chest in #2…………. :p

  • Elsie

    Anyone need a cup of milk?

  • randy

    i’ll be shocked and amazed if he’s any bigger than the average 7 year-old…

  • Absurdist

    Who?

  • Papi

    I think the Situation has a bigger penis by about a quarter inch. Snookie, too.

  • chrism

    Foolish me – I thought you had to be a celebrity to be on celebrity rehab. Just another wannabe who is (semi) famous for nothing more than being famous.

  • Meowzer

    I hate to pay to see this type of thing… I’d rather wait for the NSFW photos surface, but I will pay for this. BUT, I’m also weary of the whole Levi Johnston scheme. They hyped that sucker (no pun intended) to death and then gave us nothing. I’m just curios to see if the meat matches the body.

  • StudioTodd

    “Well, they have one more scrap of dignity than you, Joe. And that ain’t saying much.”

    Because he’s posed naked he has less dignity? Fuck you, Queerty, for having such a sex-negative hypocritical attitude…and fuck you to all the hypocrites who feel the need to insult and shame someone for posing naked–right after running to have a look.

  • JCal76

    In our media saturated society, it’s pretty easy to bash people for their looks, so much so that we often forget that most people are actually quite plain or ugly. Being a nurse, I’ve seen a lot of naked people. The vast majority of men do not look anything like this guy. Most people are too fat, too skinny, have bad skin, have hair problems, a non-existent butt, etc. Kovar is probably better looking than 90% of the population.

    One somewhat critical thing I will say though is that his chest isn’t abnormal as most people are commenting. The somewhat droopy shaped pecs are common in men. When you surround yourself with pics of super perfect people, you start to lose touch with what “normal” means and what “good looking” means.

  • Betty

    Hes so gay. Closet case

  • Michael

    20000 will be gone so fast but these photos will be out there forever and he will regret in 10 years time. I had a look at them and they are very gay porn style. He is masturbating himself in them and everything. Not tasteful nude shots.

  • Percy

    I’ve seen the dick, or what little there is of it. Maybe the missing meat went to his sagging boobs. Whatever pathetic “career” he once had has now been destroyed by his decision to go nude, especially with nothing to show!

  • GregR

    He was a total mess on The Real World. He drank a lot and couldn’t control himself. The other roommates were afraid of him. He would go on these weird violent rampages. He left mid-season to enter a rehab facility because he knew, well everybody knew he had a problem. But then the next time he emerged was on Celebrity Rehab. I’m not sure if he’s kicked his problem. He was sort of cute on TRW, but these pics, including the NSFW pics aren’t flattering at all. He’s a small guy and I didn’t think he’d have a whopper, but now there’s no question about it.

  • joe

    kovar is a brain dead macho shit head two bit asshole with a sparrows dick.

  • Jonathonz

    He needs to chillax on on the eyebrow tweezing.

  • mike sitchuation

    @andy: OMG.. This dude has the wierdest looking chest i have ever seen. Not to mention he thinks he soo hot when in fact he is the man, the man w the BOOOOOBIES. This guy cracks me up, he is a looser drug addict that has been to rehab 3 times and walks around as if he is a celebrity, i got news for ya boobies, YOU ARE NOT A CELEB. you are a man who is in need of something, a bra, this guy did real world w my room mate, oh god i could not stand him,he tells everyone hes a trainer when the looser lives w his grandparents at 30yrs old. my room mate said every One felt bad for him cause all he did was cry LOL!!!

  • todd

    @mike sitchuation: HOLY COW SITCH IS IN THE BUILDING< dude just tore up kovar, i feel bad for the poor guy

  • terry

    @todd: Joey has 2 kids, the only problem is they are not his, he has been trying to have a baby for 5 years and couldnt, soo when i was w his girl friend nicole, i got her pregnant and he didnt knw, he was out getting high on cocaine and extaacy, he thinks the kid is his when its not, she even told me, i feel bad for the guy but the truth sucks, i was his mgr for some time now and one nite i ran into his now ex Millaniand got her pregnant and he thinks thats his kid ( girl), we are no longer talking, but he will not like the out come if he gets dna test on them both. I met this guy in the gym and took him under my wing w my other teamster Ray Ceramelli the best comedian in Chicago…

  • Joe

    @Sam:

    LMAO

  • hdbadger

    @Ron: it’s only online now

  • salumbre

    He’s hot, but he needs to lay down the steroids. He’s getting a bad case of “bodybuilder’s tumor,” more vulgarly known as bitch t*ts.

  • Latinoguy00

    good for him if he is happy and if this opportunity with playgirl leaves him with some level of financial security.

    I personally am far more attracted to and interested in Niles De Marco.

    just my opinion

  • rickhfx

    Where’s the meat?

  • BriBri

    @rickhfx: He doesn’t have one. It’s a microdick.

Comments are closed.