Johnny Depp As Carol Channing, Mark Ruffalo’s Love For Homoerotic Fanboys & More!

– Life lessons from Lucille Bluth, the only lessons you’ll ever need to learn.

– Talk about fantasy casting! Johnny Depp dreams of one day playing legendary Broadway baby Carol Channing. Tim Burton Presents Hello, Johnny! with Helena Bonham Carter as Ethel Merman and Pandora Boxx as “disappointed.”

– Mark Ruffalo is totes okay with your homoerotic fanfiction with him and fellow Science Bro Robert Downey, Jr. Go wild, you adorable gay nerds, you.

– It’s funny how money change a situation / unpaid taxes lead to house eviction. Lauryn Hill just lost one, as in her New Jersey mansion, but she’ll be able to rest that gorgeous, crazy head in prison soon enough.

– These cookies will make you hungry. Hungry for tweeeeerrrkkkkk!

– Adam Lambert got caught in the cross-shade of some journalists from the South Florida Gay News over GLAAD honoring him at their San Francisco awards next month.

– Speaking of shade, Stevie Nicks spread the white-winged dove’s wings and engulfed Reese Witherspoon and her dreams of playing the legendary gypsy woman in a biopic into a whole heaping helping of it.

– Thanks to the drunken, rage-filled sorority girl who forcefully inserted “cunt punt” into the national dialogue. No thanks for insulting pretty much every demographic in an expletive-filled bitch out the likes of which are only seen at fashion magazines and on Wall Street.

– You’re a doomed man, Charlie Brown.

– You’re an idiot, Ryan Lochte. A pretty, pretty idiot.