Familiar with comedian Jaboukie Young-White? If not, you’re living a futile and empty existence in which every step is another desperate lunge towards eternal shrieking nothingness.
The 23-year-old comedian has been delicately assembling thousands of fans and followers on social media, due in no small part to his understated wit and superior meme-making abilities.
Now, he just made his television debut on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and he wasted no time in delivering the goods:
“I’ve been traveling a lot recently,” he began, “which is fun but it’s weird.”
“Like, I’ve noticed that my race changes city to city? Like when I’m in Chicago people just think that I’m half black, half white. When I’m in New York people think that I’m Puerto Rican? But when I’m in CVS everyone just thinks I’m stealing. Which you know is really frustrating because I am and I don’t want them to catch me.”
Unsurprisingly, he has some words about our current president:
“I kind of feel like ever since Trump won everything I do is radical just because I’m a minority. Like I wake up in the morning: revolutionary. I ask the cashier for a cup of water but I low-key get some Sprite: anti-capitalist.”
And though we never thought we’d live to see a time when labels like “masc” are mentioned on national television — not to mention war stories about having gay sex with Uber drivers — Young-White offered up both, and in abundance:
“I can be kind of an awkward flirt sometimes,” he says.
“I could have a hard time flirting just because people don’t always read me as queer when they first meet me because I’ve been told that I can come across as ‘masc’ and if you don’t know what that means it’s basically just gay for ‘I’m not like other girls. It’s like a little weird but I actually really like whiskey. I’m kinda quirky.’
I’m just fully trying to hook up with Uber drivers and like the other day y’all like I got so close. I get in the car. The guy’s cute. He’s like, ‘Oh, where you coming from?’ And I was like, ‘I was at a show. I do stand-up or whatever,’ and I say, ‘Or whatever’ so he knows that I’m humble. And then he goes, ‘Oh my god. I love stand-up.'”
And that’s when things get truly bizarre.