START YOUR ENGINES!

RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: “Frock the Vote Early and Often”

But the victory appears to be for nothing, as RuPaul jumps right to the main challenge: The girls will Frock the Vote by running as drag-queen presidential candidates. It’ll shake down similarly to The Snatch Game, except Chad Michaels won’t be able to go as Cher again. In challenges that involve more thinking (as opposed to choreographing or glitter-gluing), the workroom isn’t as dramatic. This time, the only sounds we hear are the echoes of Phi Phi’s belching and Dida Ritz’s brain struggling to generate political satire. Phi Phi also manages to finish all of her prep during the commercial break. Either she’s really good, or she’s too dim to see the challenge of this challenge. I’m opting for the latter. For the critiques, RuPaul brings in Dan Savage (sex columnist, political pundit, and Santorum coiner). Then, shit gets serious: Every girl pitches her slogans and platforms and Dan does his best to find weaknesses. Latrice wants to give money to HIV/AIDS patients who are on disability. Well, where are you going to get that money? Phi Phi wants to fund a wig-making warehouse. That’s socialism! Dida is uncomfortable talking about politics. Dan Savage reads you and then reminds you to vote! Chad Michaels doesn’t have any real issues to talk about. Dan Savage flashes angry eyebrows! But if Sharon were down in the polls, would she then run attack ads? “Well, I enjoy being down on a pole.” Bingo. She deflects nicely and proves she’s sharper than the entire Republican ticket. NEXT: See what the rest of the queens do for their political statements.
For the debate, Ru uses the tagline Anderson Cooper wishes he could use for every show ever, “Give us 22 minutes, and we’ll give you an erection for the election.” Chad Michaels takes on the rambling persona of “Chad ‘The Lady Pimp’ Michaels” and, while she runs out of time during her opening statement, she turns the word “shoes” into a curse word. It’s hilarious and endearing. Dida comes off as stiff—she would redecorate the White House with Ralph Lauren. And more Ralph Lauren. And even more… Ralph Lauren. Sure, their fabrics are captivating but get it together, girl! Sharon takes a comedically stern approach, which makes lines like “Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between” pack an even stronger punch. Latrice could have had some decent responses, but they were buried in her index cards—not her head. Every time the girl delivered a line, she had to stare down at those darned notes. Phi Phi, who has done nothing this season but bring shame to Texas, babbles about being a “small, Southern girl from Texas” and going “cowtipping in drag.” It’s reminiscent of her Lady Gaga during Snatch Game: trying so hard that it’s painful to watch. But the main event comes when Phi Phi is asked about who should be her running mate, “I think that it’s so great that the help can sit there and compete along side with me.” She then points to Latrice and Dida. The help? Girl, we have a black president. Okay, I’m going to stop you right there. The joke was unfunny and offensive but, more importantly, you should’ve spent less time bragging about being a debater and more time coming up with a second joke. The one good thing that came of this? Latrice’s response to the question: “Politics can get so ugly. Can you give us a time when you made peace with someone?” “I looked across at Miss O’Hara, and realized she was ugly—and I’m at peace with that.” Latrice, you are my moon and my stars and my everything. Please never change.
For the main stage, the girls dress for the inaugural ball. Dan Savage and Jeffery Moran are guest judging. Phi Phi and Dida completely miss the theme. Yes, their outfits are nice. They’re fine. There’s no thought. Just… pretty. And then Chad Michaels serves some Lady Bird Johnson realness (Is that a thing? They said it’s a thing, so I guess it’s a thing). This is what every Republican woman thinks she looks like. And—according to Dan Savage—how Marcus Bachmann sees himself in his dreams. Latrice found some sparkly corset situation and called it a day. Don’t even get me started on the bra strap she had hanging out. Sharon proves that you can turn almost any outfit into a respectable one with smart justification. Her dress was transparent (as politicians should be), and surprisingly futuristic because, “a drag queen is not going to be president for a hundred years, so I had to think ahead.” Sure, it didn’t hit you over the head with inaugural realness, but it had brains. Werk. After the break, we learn Chad Michaels is in the top two but Sharon Needles is named the winner. Condragulations! Sharon wins a gift certificate to Interior Illusions Home. Hooray? Just what a girl needs: a set of overpriced gold lamé chairs. To no surprise, Dida Ritz is in the bottom two. She killed it six weeks ago, so as long as she’s going up against Phi Phi there shouldn’t be a problem.


Wait. A. Minute. RuPaul calls Phi Phi safe?! Pardon me while I scream at my television. Even Dan Savage tweeted bullshit on the matter. This means that Latrice Royale is also in the bottom two. Nooo! Can’t we just kick off Jiggly Caliente a second time?

Fine. I have no choice but to accept this fate. The song is “I’ve Got to Use My Imagination” by Gladys Knight.

Dida kicks off her dress and gives us legs and fishnets. Nice. But Latrice? Latrice was born for this lip-synch, “This is old school. You need to understand where these words are coming from and get the emotion out.”

She takes us to church and takes down the competition. Dida, your moves are great, but they are no match for the force that is Latrice Royale.

Dida Ritz, sashay away.

But wait, there’s another twist: Just like last season, they’re bringing back another queen! (We saw Carmen Carrera returns and sashay in the same episode.) Who will it be this time? We’ll have to wait to find out.

As long is it’s not Willam, I’ll be happy. (Crap! I broke the Willam-free safe space rules). Either way, I tend to agree with Latrice on this one, “no mo’ hoes!”

 

Jason Sweeten would like to take this moment to announce Sharon Needles’ candidacy for the President of the United States.

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated

27 Comments*

  • Texndoc

    I watched both this morning and actually found the UnTucked Show more watchable. The Dida moment was moving. Like you I find PhiPhi doing comedy cringeworthy and the only good out of it is that we get great one-liners from Sharon. I found the entire “debate” unfunny. But Chad Michaels gets an A+++ for her runway outfit/concept. She nailed it. I think they just keep Phi Phi around as meat for Sharon Needles to chew on, and she does it brilliantly.

  • Fitz

    Bravo to Queerty for not spoiling it this week for those of us who use a DVR. Last week you were snarky when several of us told you to use a cut instead of a spoiler headline. Despite your defensive response, you did listen and I am glad for it.

  • stevoj

    you know what… it’s downright difficult to watch this show now that every other cutaway is Phi Phi

    i FUCKIN’ hate. that. betch.

    halleloo for online streaming. i can just skip ahead every time i see that troll

  • Mark

    You have to admit, Phi Phi serves a purpose. The only other laugh out loud moment besides Sharon’s pole was when, I think in Untucked, that PhiPhi said “they all laughed at my Help joke” and they showed a clip of the panel Ru, Dan, and Michelle just sitting there stone faced. That was a very funny moment for the viewer.

  • MJ

    “just 5 minutes ago I looked across at Ms. O’hara and realized that she’s ugly and I’m at peace with that”

    Loved that line. made my day 🙂

  • DouggSeven

    Why does no one call out Latrice on his terrible make up job every week? He constantly paints this ridiculous face that in no way shape or form matches his skin type.

  • Frederick

    Can’t stand Pee Pee, love Sharon, and hope they bring back Willam.

  • Disgusted Gay American

    My favs are Sharon Needles and Chad Michaels

    Sharon Needles NAILED it last nite…..Chad came in 2nd….Phi Phi Grrrrr – needs to learn her place, she’s a backstabber petty and immature

  • DouggSeven

    Sharon’s ‘pole’ joke cemented him as the winner. That on-the-spot wit can’t be ignored.

  • pixipie

    Bring Kenya Michaels Back! If Willam was disqualified, I don’t see Ru bringing her back, although that would be a genius move ratings-wise. Hell! Sending her home like that with no explanation or warning was a genius move. I’ve already got the reunion show marked on my calendar! Doesn’t really matter who it is, though. Latrice Royale is going home with the crown. Royale 2012!

  • ChristopherM

    Latrice should have reached over and slapped the wonk eye off PhiPhi during that debate. Stupid bitch.

  • pixipie

    @ChristopherM: phi phi’s “wonk eye” i am ROLLING on the floor!!! hilarity!

  • Texndoc

    Oh please. Helen Keller could see Kenya being asked back when they read her letter 3-4 shows ago.

  • DouggSeven

    @Texndoc: What is this letter you guys keep talking about? The lipstick mirror one? Did I miss something?

  • Chris

    I hate to say it but the show is more fun with Willam. I won’t put it beyond Drag Race to make her go as a stunt just to come back now. Muahahaha.

  • Chris

    Oh, and Latrice’s lipsynch was amazing!

  • pixipie

  • Stephen

    Dear Phi Phi,

    In your imaginary world, Texas is a place where you get beat up for being gay. After seeing this show, it is clear Texas was a place you got beat up aimply for being “Phi Phi”. After the shame you brought us last night (and the fact that no one on this show was enlightened enough to call you out on it, just accepting it as “humor”), I wish the fleas of a thousand camel toes upon your wigs, now and forever, amen.

    Die.

    Love,

    Stephen

  • Stephen

    simply* Damn, wish we could edit these.

  • DouggSeven

    @Stephen: The point of satire is to exaggerate your subject. If you’re going to choose a Sarah Palin or a Michele Bachman (who are just as offensive to gays) as a reference, the joke was dead on as to what they’d do – this joke would’ve killed in a nightclub or on a sketch comedy show, but fell flat on a reality show. Lesson learned I suppose.

  • Frederick

    @DouggSeven-Regardless of your explanation of satire, Pee Pee is simply repulsive.

  • Ajai

    ‘the Help’ line could have been funny with some subtlety, and if the character was more refined and very specific. It could have been great satire, but instead it was like watching Mimi Imfursts exercise video routine. The only reason Phi Phi wasn’t in the bottom was because Latrice would obviously own that lip synch, and they figured it was Dita’s time to go.

    Still rooting for Sharon, as I have been since the beginning. Would love to see Willam return, my fiancee thinks he’s cute.

  • stevoj

    i want Willam back but it would be kind of ridiculous (and unfair) to do so and i agree with the post above about Latrice’s make-up. why they never clock her for painting orange i’ll never know

    and now that i actually think about it, i feel like Phi Phi gave her phone call prize to Chad because she has no one to call

    that chick probably has a decade worth of rollover minutes…

  • Barry White

    “Why does no one call out Latrice on his terrible make up job every week? He constantly paints this ridiculous face that in no way shape or form matches his skin type.”

    DouggSeven, I couldn’t agree with you more. Her face looks ridiculous. She has a beige face with dark chocolate arms and legs. I simply can’t stand it. If she wins, she has not earned it.

    I will jump into traffic if Kenya is brought back. She dresses up nice, but completely lacks Charisma, Uniqueness, whatever the N stands for, and Talent.

  • real

    I’m glad Dida is gone. Nothing personal, she simply was not in the same league as the other drag queens. She has a small skill set that she needs to expand on to compete with skilled talent like Chad, Latrice, and Sharon.

    I think Latrice was put in the bottom two to knock out Dida because none of the others could do it in a lip sync except Latrice. Latrice was good in the debate and got off a good one-liner about Phi Phi.

    Phi Phi could have won the challenge but her precious voice is too grating and distracting and she never really made a joke people could laugh at. Everything else was there for a win.

  • DouggSeven

    @real: It’s as if they picked that song on purpose to get rid of Dida (and rightfully so). Had they picked something up-tempo or dance oriented, Latrice clearly would be packing. Come on – Gladys Knight? I’ve never even heard that song before.

  • Brettania

    phi phi – is an out dated common night club queen there is nothing original or special about her – queens like that are dime a dozen
    Sharon – is to me sensational she is a fantastic representation of the newer hybrid queens and we have not really had the same look twice from her
    the political debate though funny actually showed that she has really strong thoughts on the subject though she dealt with it with brilliant absurdity
    Chad – is simply a Class act I find her thoughtful and elegant in every way

    I could not decide between the two who should win

    willam was just revolting

Comments are closed.

Latest*