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Sen. Lindsey Graham Starts His Own Rumors About Dating Ricky Martin

Like maybe I’m having a clandestine affair with Ricky Martin. I know it’s really gonna upset a lot of gay men — I’m sure hundreds of ’em are gonna be jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge — but I ain’t available. I ain’t gay. Sorry.

—Sen. Lindsey Graham (on left), the South Carolina Republican who already denied his was a homosexual to a man armed with a video camera, responding in the Times to accusations he’s going easy on immigration reform because he wants to help his queer brothers and sisters sneak across the rainbow bridge to America.