For the past two years, I’ve been filming a documentary that explores how to build a healthy sexual culture. So since the Orlando massacre, I can’t stop thinking about sexual shame. That’s because (ready for a 
shocker?) research shows that anti-gay zealots are often deeply sexually repressed.
Study after study after study show that those who say they hate homosexuals are likely to be repressing the urge to enjoy the many flavors of the rainbow (see: Ted Haggart, Larry Craig, many, many, many others). There’s no evidence Omar Mateen was gay. Instead, he seems to have been radicalized by antigay, extremist dogma. So this begs the question: to what degree does the sexual ignorance we allow in the US—and the shame it breeds—lead to oppression and violence?
Last year, the United Nations released a 48-country global analysis on sex education and confirmed a simple yet radical conclusion: in order to enjoy a life of freedom and safety, every child, woman, and man needs access to comprehensive sex education. It confirmed that access to good sex ed isn’t just nice to have—it’s a fundamental right that’s essential to protecting health and equal opportunity.
That’s why I keep repeating: would things have been different if Omar Mateen had received comprehensive sex education?
How about we take this to the next level?
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What is comprehensive sex education?
The United Nations defines three guiding principles for comprehensive sex education:
1. It’s medically accurate
In the US, only 20 states require sex education to be accurate. So in the other 30, you get schools teaching students that condoms don’t work.
2. It’s skill based
Sexual consent is a skill to be learned. But first, it must be taught. Comprehensive sex ed can help by encouraging critical thinking, communication, negotiation, decision-making, and assertiveness. Students should learn about how to articulate their right to withhold consent.
3. It’s positive about sex and pleasure
That means sex educators shouldn’t lecture students that you’re a “good girl” if you abstain from sex. Or that homosexuality is not acceptable. It does mean that sex educators should nurture shame-free, nonjudgemental, and positive attitudes about sex and pleasure, REGARDLESS of gender, ethnicity, race, or sexual orientation.
U.S. leaders don’t consent to good sex education
Despite ample evidence that comprehensive sex education prevents unintended teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (turns out condoms do work!)—as well as empowers women to stop unwanted sex and take control of their bodies—leaders ranging from legislators to school officials actively reject efforts to provide access to comprehensive sex ed. (Only California mandates comprehensive sex education.)
I understand the pushback. Sex comes with risk, and people think they’re protecting kids from harm.
But what we’re doing isn’t working.
What if Omar Mateen had learned that two men kissing was a perfectly healthy expression of sexual pleasure? Let me put it more personally: what if my school had taught me that same-sex attraction was natural? (And boy, does it feel natural!) Would I still have lived a decade of shame-fueled depression and anxiety? How would all of our lives have been different if we received this education? How much abuse, suicide, and suffering could have been prevented?
I’m fed up with these questions, which is why I’m seeking answers in my documentary—A Sexplanation. I want to give audiences a taste of how well-designed comprehensive sex education could not only significantly reduce sexual risks, but also help us all have the pleasure-positive sex lives we deserve.
Check it out…
If you want to see a shame-free, pleasure-positive exploration of sex education, consider contributing a tax-deductible donation to A Sexplanation’s Kickstarter and help bring our film to audiences everywhere.
Mo Bro
Sex ed negates the teachings of radical Islam in the minds of religious martyrs?
(face-palm, eye-roll, sigh . . .)
Masc Pride
It wouldn’t have prevented anything since the FBI found absolutely nothing to suggest Mateen was secretly gay, not even on his phone or PC. I get why some of you really, really, reeeeeeallllly wanted this guy to be gay, but think about how extremely odd it is for a closeted guy to not have any gay-related anything on his computer. It also totally negates all the rumors of Mateen being an active Grindr user who regularly sent out c0ck shots. The FBI also concluded he didn’t even appear to be deleting to cover up anything.
Xzamilio
Wow… this is the epitome of the regressive liberal article. But I still like Science of Sin.
Sansacro
How about, instead, we have better social services in regards to identifying and, if possible, treating and safely securing those with mental illness.
ErikO
He was an Islamist who was not even that radical as by all accounts he was a rather moderate Muslim. Hillary wants to bring in a lot more people like this.
Bob LaBlah
How is it possible for a Islamist to have a visit from his father and the very next night do what Mateen did? His father swears on a stack of Korans that he and his son did not argue about anything but in my heart I believe that is a lie. Being in his late twenties with no girlfriend or a second wife after his separation from his father no doubt made his father wonder what was going and and he probably pressured him for an answer.
That theory makes sense because Islamists expect the same thing from their sons and Jews and Catholics expect from theirs, children and grandchildren. Do your homework on their cultures and see if it adds up. This guy was seen by too many people in the club previously dancing and talking with obvious gay men. He was what he was, gay and in the closet about it.
Brian
I think it’s more to do with liberalism’s poor attitude to male bisexuality. In liberal societies, if a man expresses any homosexual interests, he is immediately classified as gay or pushed into the gay category by liberals. This poor treatment helps to create monsters.
Women – especially liberal women – are partly to blame. They are resentful to men who can swing both ways because they represent male power.
Brian
@Masc Pride: Mateen’s wife said that he had homosexual tendencies. Mateen had been observed at the club for a number of years by several independent witnesses.
Electronic trails can be easily scrubbed.
Alistair Wiseman
Omar Mateen could not have been more clear or more emphatic about his motivation for killing 49 people and wounding 53 others at an Orlando gay nightclub.
During the attack, Mateen called 911 several times to say he was doing it for ISIS. He called a local TV station saying he attacked the nightclub for the Islamic State. He posted Facebook messages saying that “real muslims will never accept the filthy ways of the west,” “now taste the Islamic state vengeance” and that “in the next few days you will see attacks from the Islamic state in the usa.”
Shortly after the attack occurred, the FBI admitted that it had twice investigated Mateen for possible links to Islamic terrorists, and FBI Director James Comey said Mateen showed “strong indications of radicalization” and was likely inspired by foreign terrorist organizations.
Yet when Gallup surveyed the public about the attack, just 29% of Democrats said that it was an act of Islamic terrorism. Almost two-thirds considered it just another act of “domestic gun violence.”
Which party is it that is supposed to be out of touch with reality again?
Masc Pride
@Brian: But there would still be data left over from the scrub or from the program that was used. The FBI isn’t just the Geek Squad; they can get deep into a hard drive. They found nothing on the phone or PC to even suggest a cover up. The wife was quick to put of the closeted rumors to deflect the attention away from any part she played in helping in case the club. None of the witnesses had any credible proof of anything.
Masc Pride
*The wife was quick to put out the closeted rumors to deflect the attention away from any part she played in helping him case the club.
Louis
Better question why give this sadistic bastard anymore attention then he already received?
The victims of Orlando are whats relevant I thought I had stopped seeing the face of this murderous man but nope here he is AGAIN.
Let him be forgotten as he deserves the only thing this monster wanted was recognition and the media gave him exactly that.
Dont do the same here he wouldnt have learned regardless as to the reasons people that possess that kind of hate and intolerance never learn they only get worse and they only regress further with time.
Brian
Face it – Omar Mateen appears to have been interested in men as well as women. It grates on some of you that a criminal of this type would have homosexual tendencies, doesn’t it?
Well, here’s something that will also stick in your craw: Charles Manson is also reportedly into men as he is into women. So there.
I’m not saying this in a prideful way, mind you. I’m simply saying it to expose your hilariously stupid obsession with attempting to portray all men who have interests in men as somehow being whiter than the driven snow.
That’s not the way it is, sweethearts. Reality sucks – deal with it.
Ukin
@Brian: I no longer read the comments from the person you are arguing with. The comments come from a deeply disturbed personality and have no basis in reality. Sometimes it’s best to just ignore some of the most disturbed commenters. They never really have anything to say.