Steven Slater Is Overjoyed He’ll Never Have To Stow Your Overhead Bags Ever Again

Now that he’s been handed his punishment, flight attendant folk hero Steven Slater is free to tell his story. And he’s got answers for everything!

Why hasn’t the unruly passenger that set him off been identified? Because she’d face a $25,000 fine.

Why was he rude during the flight? Because he was having a shitty day, getting hit in the head by a piece of luggage. “I’m sure my service was less than stellar.”

Did he drink the beers? After he escaped, yep!

Uh oh, did we just find out everything we wanted to know about Slater’s exit from JetBlue? We’ll never forget you Steven!