Groundbreaking news, folks: Some straight guys who suffer from erectile dysfunction with their female partners might not actually be straight. That’s the conclusion drawn in a report published by the British Society for Sexual Medicine, at least.
The report estimates that as many as 100,000 British men with ED might not actually have ED and are instead struggling with their sexuality.
Researchers say that only “a small minority of men in relationships with women” and who suffer from ED might actually be gay, but that the issue needs to be discussed.
“There can no longer be an excuse for avoiding discussions about sexual activity due to embarrassment,” they write.
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Dr. Geoff Hackett, the study’s author, says that men who are wrestling with their sexuality “need to be pointed in the right direction.”
“If a man is in a relationship with a woman and is having problems with erectile dysfunction it might be because they are in a relationship with the wrong gender,” he writes.
Related: No hetero: “100% straight” men don’t exist, study finds
Hackett tells his colleagues that it’s up to them as doctors to help “point their patients in the right direction.”
“They might be able to overcome their issue if they come to terms with this,” Hackett writes. “If you do not get at this problem you will waste a lot of time and ineffective treatment going down the wrong path.”
Dr. Helen Stokes-Lampard isn’t sure doctors suggesting their patients with ED might be gay is the best strategy.
She tells The Sun: “There are many reasons for erectile dysfunction. It is essential patients have the safe space to discuss issues with their GP, whenever they choose to and in their own time.”
She continues, “But it is difficult to see how asking all patients unsolicited and impromptu questions about their sexuality is going to instill confidence and trust.”
Psychotherapist and clinical sexologist Dominic Davies adds, “It has been said that both erection and orgasm are independent reflex reactions. Each need a threshold of adequate mental arousal and physical stimulation.”
“If someone is having trouble in getting an erection it’s definitely appropriate to ask whether the person feels sufficiently turned on by their partner or the activities they’re doing to get an erection.”
He adds, “‘Oh, you can’t get it up with your wife, do you think you’re gay?’ is unlikely to be helpful.”
Related: An intimate look at the private lives of “mostly straight” men
ChrisK
So does that also mean the erectile issues I have at times mean I’m not gay?
Donston
Many dudes who have erectile issues in general are either gay/gay-leaning or have an orientation and arousals that are more similar to the way a woman’s develops than most men. I can somewhat easily get aroused for a woman. But was often difficult to maintain it as well as maintain the sexual interest. If I was to hook up with a chick like every other month or so it would be kinda easy to do it. But getting and maintaining a persistent hard-on for a chick as well as persistent sexual interest day in and day out is a no-go. I guess that’s one aspect of “fluidity”.
Hussain-TheCanadian
@Chris
Any idea why you have this issue Chris?
When I read up on sexual health, the reasons they cite for ED tends to be stress, age, lack of sleep, smoking, being overweight.
Do you think ED is related to those listed reasons or as the above preliminary study shows, that it’s a mental issue overall rather than physical?
tham
Could be low T
Kangol
@ChrisK, if they’re not a direct function of lack of desire for your sexual partner or arousal at your own fantasies, you probably should have a physician check things out. It could be any of the things Hussain mentions, but also high blood pressure or heart-related issues, diabetes, MS, Parkinson’s, an enlarged prostate, or a result of the medicines you might be taking for them, too much alcohol or another intoxicant, etc. Do get it checked out if it’s a persistent issue.
Donston
How is this “ground-breaking”? A percentage of men who have a difficult time getting it up for and staying up for women without medical assistance have orientations that are gay-leaning or homo dominant. Anyone could have told you that. But didn’t this site just tell us straight people don’t exist anyway?
tham
Are you mad about something? I can’t tell any more…
Donston
I’m actually never mad about anything on here. There’s pretty much nothing anyone can say that can get me mad. I’ve heard and seen it all. This site does have the tendency of constantly contradicting itself.
On another note, as I mentioned in an earlier post, some men with certain degrees of gender dis-morphia have orientations that develop more like most females. Most women have some type of fluidity and have some type of attraction and arousal towards other women and can develop emotional and sometimes sexual connections with them. But if they’re straight-leaning or “majority hetero” they can’t truly have romantic and sexual satisfaction with a woman. That can sometimes be how a male’s orientation relates to women and why they may quickly lose sexual interest in a female partner. And it often leads to years of confusion and/or self-denial.
However, ultimately, there are many reasons why people suffer from ED. The article and my explanation are just two examples.
DCguy
Actually this makes a lot of sense. Some ED that isn’t physical in nature could be because they are no longer attracted to their spouse, but typically a guy who hasn’t had sex for a while is going to get erect if she is getting physical with him. They probably reach a point where it is either exhausting to try to maintain the charade, or they’ve met a guy and really don’t want to be there anymore.
Ummmm Yeah
Oh bull shit. Gay guys get ED too and they weren’t gay by accident.
DCguy
See, Sweetie, that’s why the article said “SOME”.
But then again, since you have posted full support in the closet I can understand why the idea that there are more lgbt people out there would be so upsetting.
You may want to show less anger however if you’re trying to pretend you aren’t here to troll against the idea that being lgbt is ok.
chris33133
According to people I know, many men with ED also have vitamin B-12 deficiencies. So there are lots of possible sources of ED; most entail circulatory problems; many are comorbid; and not all of them entail being obese.
Kangol
There are lots of reasons why people might develop ED. One, as the article suggests, might be a sexual orientation mis-match, which is quite plausible.
Brian
Coincidentally, I just bought a bottle of B-12 at Costco this weekend, for energy. I will certainly look forward to all of the bonus raging boners.
DCguy
Two quick things.
1. It’s interesting you seem to want to pretend that the article didn’t say that this may be the answer for SOME of the men. Yet just like the other troll screename, the idea enrages you.
2. Hi Queerty, according to your new comment policy I was wondering if a new account coming in and using “F*cking Queer) pejoratively not only exposes them as another anti-lgbt troll screename, but also violates the policy on harassing language.
If not, no problem, these trolls are an old story. 🙂
Brian
Hi Queerty, does your new comment policy cover DCguy calling every poster in here a troll? He’s apparently physically incapable of making a comment without doing that, it’s the weirdest thing.
Cylest Brooks
Hi Brian.
Sadly, no. While I agree with you that calling every single person a troll is dumb, it’s not a deletable violation. We’ll all just have to keep on rolling our eyes hard at the nonsense. Sorry.
(I feel you, tho.)
DCguy
Awww, Brian how adorable. Does pointing out things like similarity in language and tactics between multiple screenames upset you?
You are welcome to dispute anything I point out, but the funny thing is, you never seem to be able to.
DavidIntl
I was once in that very position, although the “dysfunction” was minimal. The study is right – surely there are more cases like mine.
radiooutmike
I could have been a case study. I had some dysfunction when I was married. I could achieve erections usually– my problem was sustaining it and/or having an orgasm with my wife.
Back, 20 years ago, I tried one of the first ED drugs, a little pill that was squeezed into the urethra. It worked okay, as did Viagra later too. (I also had the erection test where they fill your junk with saline to figure out if you’re capable of having one.)
But none of the erections I ever got from drugs was ever as good as the ones I’d get from gay erotic fiction and masturbation.