Vom Squared

Ted Haggard to Trade His Beard for Gary Busey’s Baby Mama on Wife Swap


Today in “Gross Things ABC Thinks Fit to Air to the Nation”: meth/gigolo enthusiast Ted Haggard will be exchanging spouses with GHB/cocaine mixer Gary Busey on Wife Swap, the television equivalent of a crackwhore who gives head in Denny’s bathrooms in exchange for fleeting bumps in ratings.

Haggard—lovingly known to the gay community as “Faggard” or that evangelical dude who was cured of his fondness for male meth-stitutes but then relapsed into vicarious bisexuality—will be switching out Gayle, the mother of his five children who somehow never divorced him, for Gary’s girlfriend/baby mama Steffanie Sampson.

Well, theoretically. People says “producers have not confirmed whether [Busey’s] ‘wife’ participating in the show is Steffanie Sampson, his girlfriend and mother of his 19-month old son.” You know you’re low-rent when People has to put sarcastic scare quotes about your partner.

First Haggard cheats on his wife with a drug-fueled man-hooker, then he trades her on national TV for an unmarried mother. Ted’s views on the sanctity of marriage sure have changed since his days of supporting a marriage equality ban in Colorado.

Photo via mugs99’s Flickr

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  • dvlaries

    In the entertainment field, the only thing that pays more reliably than having no taste, is having no shame.

  • Cam

    So TV doesn’t like to have actual gays on, but they’ll put every anti-gay bigot in the world on TV

  • Riker

    …I didn’t think they could find anyone crazier than Haggard, but Gary Busey certainly qualifies.

  • Johann

    Someone should start a petition to sent to ABC to get them to drop him from their show.
    Monsters like Haggard need to be shamed, and remain off the air.
    No doubt any profit Haggard will gain from this show will be used against LGBT in some fashion.

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