Terry Crews found himself in hot water this week for homophobic remarks he made calling children of same-sex parents “severely malnourished” because they aren’t raised by a mother and a father.
The former NFL linebacker and current star of Brooklyn Nine-Nine was responding to a New York Times op-ed on parenting when he tweeted, “I believe paternal AND maternal love are like vitamins and minerals to humanity.”
When a follower pointed out that a child “will not starve” for having two loving, same-sex parents, Crews responded with “but they will be severely malnourished.”
A firestorm ensued.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Related: Terry Crews comes under fire for homophobic remarks, says he refuses to be anyone’s “puppet”
Now, Crews has apologized for his remarks. In a tweet yesterday, he credited his Brooklyn Nine-Nine co-star Stephanie Beatriz, who is bisexual, for helping him understand why what he said caused such an uproar.
“Had a great talk with @iamstephbeatz this morning on set that shed a lot of light on why the LBGTQ community were hurt by my comments,” he tweeted. “I want to apologize for anyone who was triggered or felt targeted. I was speaking out of my very personal experiences as a Black Father.”
“And while these experiences for me are very true and real, these can differ greatly from the experiences of others,” he added. “Being able to sit with @iamstephbeatz gave me a perspective I had not seen before.”
Had a great talk with @iamstephbeatz this morning on set that shed a lot of light on why the LBGTQ community were hurt by my comments.
I want to apologize for anyone who was triggered or felt targeted. I was speaking out of my very personal experiences as a Black Father.
— terry crews (@terrycrews) March 5, 2019
And while these experiences for me are very true and real, these can differ greatly from the experiences of others. Being able to sit with @iamstephbeatz gave me a perspective I had not seen before.
— terry crews (@terrycrews) March 5, 2019
I believe men need to be more vulnerable in order to fix the many problems that we created and this starts with me. We don’t always have to agree, but we must always listen.
I love every person on earth, and want to see every man, woman and child flourish.
— terry crews (@terrycrews) March 5, 2019
Crews, for his part, has a history of speaking out against homophobia in other areas. Earlier this year, he criticized comedian Kevin Hart for playing the victim after he refused to apologize for homophobic jokes. Crews has also vocally supported the #MeToo movement by sharing his own story of sexual assault.
Look, we all put our foot in our mouth from time to time, and Crews has long been an LGBTQ ally. It seems like he’s really made an effort to understand why his remarks were problematic and to make amends, so… apology accepted!
See, Kevin Hart, it’s really not that hard.
Related: Terry Crews tells Kevin Hart to stop playing the damn victim: “You’re not being attacked!”
Blackceo
I thought his comments were ignorant but I did not believe they were homophobic. I know gay people who feel the way Terry Crews does; that a child has the best chance at a psychologically healthy life by being raised by a mother and a father since there are things they believe only a mother can provide, and only a father can provide. I don’t agree but I do not think that way of thinking is homophobic.
Polaro
Oh, I can do that better: a child has a better chance with a white, protestant mom and dad with a lot of money, great educations, at least one summer home with a boat and no drinking or drug dependencies. If we’re going to play that game, lets play.
Rock-N-RollHS
We get it. You are so far up his a$$ you can taste candy. He ain’t into you
DCguy
So you have some self hating friends.
richardNobbs
I sorta agree. I think they were ignorant, slightly homophobic ringed in a str8 male thingy that seems old and tired. Glad he apologized maybe he learned a thing or seven. Moving on.
Blackceo
@Polaro….agree. Like I said…ignorant comment. Its based on people’s values or socioeconomic situations, which is always a subjective viewpoint.
@DCguy…did I say they were friends or are you ASSuming?
iamru2
Dude has issues but then we’ve all known this for some time now.
WillParkinson
“I want to apologize for anyone who was triggered or felt targeted. I was speaking out of my very personal experiences as a Black Father.”
This is not an apology. An apology is “I’m sorry for the things I said”, not “I’m sorry if you felt I was picking on you.”
miserylovedme24
I actually am shocked he would say that. I wouldn’t have expected that from him. I don’t get why people don’t just say a child is better off with two parents, period.
Black Pegasus
Terry is a well meaning guy who doesn’t seek to harm others. He’s also a MAN as evidenced by his acknowledgment of harmful words directed at marginalized people. Kevin Hart couldn’t fill half of Terry’s shoe both figuratively and literally!
DCguy
The fact he used the word “Triggered” shows he is neck deep in right wing conspiracy websites. I hope his costar also recommends some better news channels for him.
Creamsicle
“It takes a village to raise a child.” We used to say that so people would realize how interdependent we are on each other. That’s not a bad thing, by any means, and it’s how lasting communities are built. If anything, refusing the aid of other people in raising a child for the sake of your own pride is toxic to both parent and child.
It might feel politically correct to say that love is not gendered, but is that really true? We see people within our community trying to find people like them all the time, because sometimes it’s nice to talk about our gendered experiences with people who understand them through their own experience. I can listen to my lesbian friends when they want to talk about their relationship and dating problems, but I don’t know anything about the local lesbian dating scene, and I have no advice to give them.
Crews wants to be part of a very important discussion that’s happening now as masculinity is being redefined to be less focused on aggression, and not equate throwing your weight around with being a man. He has needed to reevaluate his own concept of what it meant to “Be a Man,” especially as someone who is perceived as very outwardly masculine. And he’s discussed it at length. His wording may not sit well with people, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to use his celebrity to encourage people to seek help outside their biological families to allow their children to grow into well-adjusted adults.
There is a need to teach young men what it means to be a man, and that will often fall on a male figure. It doesn’t have to be. Every family is different, and some women have a more classically “masculine” attitude than many men.
Isn’t that the point of embracing diversity? Aren’t we all different and bring wisdom shaped by different insights and experiences? Paternal and maternal love can come from everywhere, but not all parents are able to provide it. It’s enough that a young adult might look to Crews’s message and feel normal for turning to his pastor, or his teacher, or his coach for life lessons on what it means to be a man of quality, rather than feeling incomplete all his life for never getting those lessons from a parent.
piriblue
Why is he still working on Brooklyn nine nine. We should really show how many homosexuals work in show business and put a stop to all the shit. Apology not required since it is not reflecting your inner thoughts. You are only doing an apology to keep your job. To little too late. What is wrong with the Gay Community. Let us really show our strength and tell them “How you like me, now!”
truthseeker
I can understand his logic. Children can have same-sex parents but some children still crave having some sort of father figure or motherly figure in their life whether it’s a parental figure or a role model such as a teacher, celebrity, or older sibling
I wouldn’t go as far as some people are going by screaming “bigot”, “right wing conspiracy theorist”, “he has issues”
Daws
So, he was “speaking out of [his own] very personal experiences as a Black Father” and applied that to a completely different situation for same-sex parents? To be 50 years old and so ignorant…he apologized at least. Better late than never I guess.
asders
lmao yall I really can’t wait for this culture to end, man says a sentence wrong, and something that from these comments around 40% of people agree with and it’s off with his head?? I will not believe that everyone here vindicating him hasn’t said something hurtful to someone else in their lives. For all the good he’s done you’d break him down over something worth nothing.
Donston
Saying that same-sex couples can’t raise children to be fully formed, independent, mentally healthy people is indeed detrimental to the “community”. If you have that perspective but you’re an “ally” then you’re no ally at all. And if you’re a homo-romantic, generally homo-leaning, gay person with that perspective then it tends to mean you’re contending with some level of self-hatred/self-resentment or demons. However, the reality is that perhaps the majority of people share Crews’ perspective and are just too scared to honest about that. Personally, while I don’t think a child needs a father and mother I do think having a multitude of strong, caring, diverse figures in a child’s life is a necessity.
On the other hand, I don’t really see how Crews and Hart are comparable here.
sunonthehorizon
I don’t understand the connection between his and Kevin Hart’s incident. Is it simply because they’re both black? If so, the author shouldn’t rely so hard on intellectually lazy connections. Perhaps by simply point out how this is an effective apology strategy for anyone, not just some other black guy the [white] author doesn’t agree with.
Just gives the appearance of “See [black person], you should be more like this [black person].”
dassad66
I am more bothered by his belief that two parents are the requirement for a healthy child. I work with kids that have single parents with a network of support that thrive. Two parents, regardless of gender, can be less than ideal for a number of reasons. The quality of love and support that a child receives is far more important than the source. Condeming or judging a child based on what you perceive, on a superficial level, to be deficits based on his family situation can be devastating.
We in the queer community should be more sensitive to this. We often define our families in new and different ways. The people that love and support us need no genetic connection to be our family. Why should we make the same determination for a child?
His opinion is quite popular so I can’t fault him for being ignorant. He seems to be generally a respectful, sensitive person so I’m more disappointed than anything. We all live and learn.
jcoberkrom
I do believe that a child is best served by a male and female loving couple. But the key word is loving.
Love is what is needed the most, It is what keeps one from being malnourished.
A wide variety of role models is just icing on the cake.
ADOPT
Jack Meoff
Well, that was certainly a qualified apology. He didn’t really seem to apologize for making stupid remarks but only to those who may have been triggered or felt targeted which in itself seems like a poor choice of words.
He then goes on to say “I was speaking out of my very personal experiences as a Black Father.” Can someone please explain to me why the situation should be different for a black father versus any other race.
draven
He should know better and that was stupid to say I’m a 57-year-old almost 58-year-old black man gay and come on man you don’t say stupid stuff like that in 2019 really and you live in Hollywood where there’s lots of gay people and gay couples what’s wrong with these folks nowadays STOOPID in the voice of 69