It’s September which means one thing: it’s back to school season!
If you’re like me, you absolutely dreaded this time of year as a child. Not only because it signaled the end of summer, but also because it meant another year of having to live in the closet. Or worse, pretend you absolutely didn’t have the hots for your very attractive algebra teacher.
But alas, as much as we may have pretended we were straight, our choice of school supplies (most definitely) suggested otherwise. We’re looking at you, Lisa Frank!
In honor of back to school season, we share with you the 20 school supplies from the late ‘90s/early ‘00s that screamed G-A-Y, or that every LGBTQ+ kid wanted (if they didn’t have them already)…
Lisa Frank unicorn lunch boxes
Bonus points if it had a matching thermos!
Rainbow erasers
So we could erase homophobia! Plus, who didn’t love all the other weird shapes erasers came in, back in the day?!
Lisa Frank trapper keepers
We promise this isn’t a sponsored post for Lisa Frank! She just happened to be 87% responsible for our queer awakening…
Boxes of crayons with the sharpener included
Because as LGBTQ+ people, we learned how to live (and color!) outside the lines from an early age.
Calculator watches
So we could easily calculate how much f*cking longer until we could come out of the closet…
Silicone Wristbands
Because popularity was measured not in the number of friends you had, but in the number of silicone wristbands you wore at one time.
Scented EVERYTHING
Like scented markers…
Scented colored pencils…
and Scratch & Sniff Stickers…
Seriously, why did we feel the need to sniff literally everything?
Blank CDs
Nothing beat downloading music off Limewire, and then burning a CD to give to your crush.
Spacemaker pencil boxes
Because using obnoxiously bright-colored boxes made us feel A+!
Colorful pencil-top erasers
Like they always say, every pencil needs a good top!
Lunchables
None of us ever questioned what these things were really made of!
Razr flip phones
How else were we supposed to take bathroom selfies?
Fabric book covers
This was how we first learned about the importance of protection… of our textbooks!
Multicolor ballpoint pens
Because being able to write in rainbow colors was a necessity.
Inflatable chairs to sit in while we did our homework
Because Britney Spears was a teacher of LIFE.
Ticonderoga pencils
These were the goddamn designer handbag of pencils!
MP3 players to hide all our gay music on
If you were like me and too poor for the iPod, you got the Creative Zen Touch. Nobody else understood the fear of someone going through your playlists and finding all your Britney, Christina, and Madonna…
And finally, really hot teachers who helped us realize just how gay we actually were…
Pietro D
Stupid, useless story that means absolutely NOTHING.
I could give a shit being born in 2001, but I would be pissed as hell
being reminded of something so utterly assinine. Again: an insane
article from hell. If you were of that era and want to celebrate your
utter absurdity as a young person…. well go right ahead and check
out just what a jerky fag you were.!
Wentz
Wow, who hurt you?
storm45701
You okay, girl? Take a pill.
jcool
be careful, queerty. stupid, useless people might yell at you. waaaaaaaaa
Bosch
Wow, offended by scented markers. Don’t you have more important things to get upset about?
Thad
I thought this was a gay story celebrating fun things. I’m all for them.
brooks
Dang, I almost forgot about my Spacemaker box
Bosch
Coolin’ like Britney.
still_onthemark
This sure makes a tremendous LEAP from little-kid stuff like crayons and stickers, right to lusting after your hot algebra teacher! But maybe algebra is easier if you do it in crayon?
Louis
I think I only had the blank cds (which every straight friend of mine also had).
Fahd
Now that we’ve had the nostolgic look back, I recommend a follow-up article exploring today’s school supplies that “scream G-A-Y” . But wait, that may lead to some school supply bans in Florida and elsewhere. Oh well….
bachy
I am submitting this important comment from my Britney Spears Inflatable Chair where I’m Stylin’ and Groovin’ just like La Belle Britnois.