He’s more flamboyant than ferocious, more fancy than fearsome. With glistening black hair and a giant hoop earring to match, this pirate looks just dandy.
And the sword he’s holding in his mouth is straight up sexy.
We’re talking about Bucco Bruce, the absolute gayest NFL mascot in history!
Born in 1976, Bucco debuted alongside the NFL’s newest expansion team, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The team’s bright orange jerseys featured white lettering, making them look like delicious creamsicles.
Bucco immediately entered his infamy era, with the Bucs going 0-14 in their debut campaign. In fact, the Bucs finished below .500 in each of their first three seasons. Their dismal play prompted then-head coach John McKay to spout one of the most famous one-liners in sports history.
The reported exchange, which first appeared in a November 1979 edition of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, is believed to have gone like this:
Question: What do you think of your team’s execution, coach?
Answer: I’m in favor of it.
CLEAN UP ON AISLE 3! WE HAVE A WHOLE TEAM DOWN!
But like all gays, Bucco Bruce only got better with age. He remained the Buccaneers’ mascot until 1996, eventually becoming one of the most iconic symbols in the league.
The Bucs may have been horrible, but Bruce…he could slay!
When the Buccaneers switched to their current color scheme of an angry red with white crossbones and black outlining, they started experiencing more success. They made the playoffs in five of six seasons, and won the Super Bowl in February 2003.
But don’t get too excited: the Bucs still owned the lowest winning percentage in NFL history until 2020, when they signed some gorgeous man named Tom Brady to play QB.
By the way, he looks pretty handsome in (orange) cream, if we do say so ourselves!
But sadly, Brady never donned the creamsicle uni’s. The Bucs won the Super Bowl in his first season and made the playoffs in all three.
In other words, Brady wasn’t bad enough to earn the honor. (In pure Brady fashion, he still found a way to make money off the creamsicles, anyway.)
But with Brady retired, the Buccaneers are once again expected to finish near the bottom of the league. So they brought them back Sunday for the first time since 2012… and lost 20-6!
What a perfect, perfect ending 🙂
Still though, they dressed to impress. As every gay knows, fashion makes a lasting impression.
It’s worth sacrificing a football game to bring back a trademark lewk.
Leading into Sunday’s affair, Tampa Bay Times guest columnist Roy Peter Clark re-introduced the question of whether Bucco Bruce is, well, you know…
The answer is: “Yaaassss!!!”
As Clark explains, the Buccaneers were named due to Tampa Bay’s association with pirate invasions. Each year, the city holds a Gasparilla festival, full of colorful pirates wearing loud colors and plenty of face paint.
Gay! Gay! Gay!
“The pirates and their wenches, who play dress-up for those bead-throwing, boob-flashing extravaganzas, are not particularly fierce in their appearance. More often, they are festive, fabulous and, in the best sense, kind of gay,” he writes.
It’s hard to argue with that! These pirates look like they’re ready for Southern Decadence or Provincetown Carnival–not a violent land invasion.
But Bucco Bruce isn’t all fun and games: he also carries a hidden power. Clark explains how his fondness for gay culture stems from his relationship with his daughter, who’s a lesbian:
“I was born in 1948 into a world that was thoroughly homophobic. That word isn’t strong enough. We were not “afraid” of homosexuals. We hated them. Our parents, teachers and clergy taught us to. Shame on them — and us. As the father of a lesbian daughter, I have spent the last half of my life trying to make up for such hate and intolerance.”
Isn’t that touching? And it’s pretty cool to see this column published in the Tampa Bay Times.
Do we think Florida’s flailing governor happened to catch it?
Regardless, Bucco Bruce is more than a football mascot. He brings families together; and oh yeah, is also G-A-Y!
Gays may not always win at sports. But we sure know how to look cool!
D P
Thank you for reporting this Queerty! I wouldn’t have known, otherwise….
Now, add the Bucs to my favorite teams list.