muscle motion

This 1980s Chippendales workout vid is about much more than pumping iron

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It takes three seconds to glean this particular exercise video is about much more than pumping iron.

The music starts blaring, the pretty women start clapping, the Chippendales start dancing.

…Wait, what?!

We’ve uncovered a lot of hunky workout tutorials in the past, including this gem from Postwar Britain that’s packed with studs in singlets and gay sexual imagery.

And this ’80s leg workout video featuring two very hot guys in two very short shorts.

Oh, and this 1950s workout video that’s absurdly homoerotic.

But nothing compares to the 1988 “Muscle Motion” classic featuring the Chippendale dancers. The “warmup” alone is more than enough to get one’s heart rate up.

“Even the hottest romance starts out with something small: a gesture, a look. In aerobics, it’s called ‘the ‘warm up’,” says our all-knowing narrator.

After an introduction–“MICHAELLL“–our chosen Chippendale starts contorting his body. His motions are smooth, fluid and purposeful.

“Up! Down! Up! Down!”

Then we move to three other Chippendales–uncertain if they’re different guys or “Michael” clones–who being stretching their hips.

“Back corner, front corner, back corner, front corner.”

Now, it’s time to get ready and… bounce!

“Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce!”

The singlets are a nice touch. The tortured garment is hated by wrestlers and loved by gays, but remains ubiquitous nonetheless.

Previously banned by the NCAA, the singlet became the standard wrestling uniform by the early 1970s. It remains the norm today, despite decades of complaints from those wearing them.

A 2020 story about how Maryland’s wrestling team now wears the two-piece and loose fitting shorts mentions the Terps are in the distinct minority when it comes to attire.

But the singlet, of course, travels far outside the wrestling mat. Much like the jock strap, another risqué piece of sports wear, it’s been co-opted by the gays. Today, several kink brands, such as Gruff Pup and Queerks, make singlets solely for the purpose of gay eroticism.

With that background in mind, it’s unsurprising Chippendales would select singlets as their workout attire of choice. While women audiences loved the all-male revue, they certainly had their gay fans, too.

It’s possible, if not probable, this “Muscle Motion” video was created with them in mind.

After singlet squats, the boys discard their sporty outfits, and change back into classic Chippendale attire. Then viewers are treated to clips of them “rock n’ rolling” their hips and putting their elbows to their knees.

Pretty soon, car engines in the background sound like they’re about to explode.Vroooom!

But if that doesn’t rev your engine, don’t worry: the men in singlets return to the screen. This time, they’re pulsating their groans up and down. Those are great leg and back strengtheners. As any fitness profession will tell you, it’s important to maintain flexibility at all times!

Towards the end of the video, we return to the party, where our beloved Chippendales are “putting their muscles in motion!”

Check out the video below.

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