A South Florida man’s penis was too large for his liking, so he decided to do something about it.
“I was always embarrassed by the size of what I had,” the man tells Gawker. “It didn’t fit my personality.”
The man goes by the name Gelding. He describes himself as a “submissive bear.” 20 years ago, he had his testicles surgically removed.
It all started with a fantasy ignited when he was playing soccer in high school. Another athlete approached Gelding in the school locker room, grabbed his nut sack, and said: “You have a man’s equipment, but you’re still a boy… You shouldn’t have such big equipment!”
“He squeezed my balls and at that point it was just a fantasy for me,” Gelding explains. “So how about getting rid of them for some reason?”
Years passed, and the desire to sever his scrotum from his body only grew stronger.
Gelding initially tried castrating himself in what he described as a “sexual frenzy” in 1991. After numbing his scrotum with ice water, he tied off his ball sack with rubber bands then cut off about two-thirds with a kitchen knife.
“It was like I was outside my body,” he told SF Weekly in a 2000 interview.
But things didn’t quite go as he had planned.
“You are in a state of sexual excitement, and then your body exhausts the supply of adrenaline,” he explained. “It simply can’t continue anymore, and you go into clinical shock, which is just about what happened.”
Gelding drove himself to an emergency room, where doctors stitched his scrotum back up.
Three years later, he decided to seek the help of an underground “cutter” to assist him in ridding himself of his scrotum. He located a man in San Francisco with castrating experience who was willing to help.
Once again, there were complications. Gelding found himself back in the ER. On his way there, however, his balls fell off. At long last, after years of trying, he was finally a eunuch.
Cut to 2011. Gelding has been living without testicles for over 15 years. He’s been taking testosterone injections to boost his sex drive. But something is still bothering him: His penis.
You see, Gelding suffered an injury to his penis during a high school soccer match that caused severe nerve damage. For years, the pain would awaken him up at night. Erections, too, were extremely painful.
After decades of suffering, he finally decided enough was enough. He had already removed his testicles, why not remove his penis as well? It’s not like he needed it or anything.
“I had a big dick, it got damaged, and I was a bottom,” he says. “I went through a long set of psychological evaluation sessions with a psychologist here in town, because that was necessary in order to have the penis removed.”
Today, Gelding identifies as a “nullo,” which is a cisgender man who voluntarily removes his external genitalia as a form of body modification.
“It is not transgender,” he explains. “It’s simply nullification of what you’ve got. A friend of mine Mack in San Francisco likes to use the term “mascunull”, because I remain as masculine as they come with fur and so forth. But I no longer have the parts.”
Despite not having any genitalia, Gelding still has sex regularly.
“Guys who are aroused by my situation are very aroused,” he says. “I’ve got some guys who are pursuing me a lot. And they just like this idea, because there’s nothing there to be in the way.”
He claims to have quite a range of sexual partners, including a bisexual man who “loves the idea that I have a hairy chest and what is to him a very tiny vagina that he can’t fuck, but he can lick,” as well as a straight man who “likes to fuck me because I don’t have any male genitals and he doesn’t feel threatened by that.”
Gelding notes the downsides to having no genitalia are that he has to sit when he pees and sometimes gets urinary tract infections. He also occasionally suffers from “phantom dick” syndrome.
“I wake up in the morning with a feeling that I have a big dick that’s erect,” he says.
And now the question you’ve all been waiting for: Can he still have an orgasm?
Gelding explains: “With ejaculation, just before you reach the peak, all the fluid is there at the base of the penis, and right before orgasm happens it’s the urethra that acts like a rail gun and expels the semen. So when you don’t use the penis, there’s no force behind it. It just flows out.”
See the very NSFW pictures of Gelding at Gawker.