Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? You better be, because Christmas is right around the corner! Which means it’s time to hang those jockstraps stockings with care, prepare those cookies for your favorite daddy Santa, and get ahead of your holiday shopping.
As is tradition during this time of year, we’ve put together the ultimate holiday gift guide for the LGBTQ+ elf in your life. And per usual, we’ve hitched ourselves to Santa’s sleigh and found some of the more, ahem, left of center gifts out there. Think: quirky and fun, with many items made by and for the queer community. God knows we don’t need anymore rainbow socks!
Check out what we’re buying our loved ones for Christmas this year, below…
For the one who asks “what’s your sign?” on the first date
Co-authored by Vanessa Li and Bowen Goh, LGBTQ+ owners of astrology-themed bar Mood Ring in Brooklyn, NY, Margarita in Retrograde: Cocktails for Every Sign is a cocktail recipe book that promises to “give you the tools you need to pay tribute to the sign of your choice.”
And make no mistake, these aren’t your mama’s recipes! Each drink recipe comes with a fun name like Sorry I Ghosted You, What’s My Age Again?, and Pillow Talk, and features intriguing ingredients ranging from gummy bears and CBD drops to star anise and oat milk.
So just go ahead and buy this book for the budding mixologist in your life. We already know it’s written in the stars!
Get it for $18.59 via Bookshop.
For the writer who also loves the planet
File this under “I never knew such a thing existed!”
SproutWorld pencils are eco-friendly pencils designed to have a second life as plants. So write, draw, doodle, and design until your pencil is too short to use. Then turn it upside down, plant it, and watch it grow into fragrant herbs, pretty flowers, or fresh vegetables.
Each package contains a simple-to-follow plant guide for users to plant, watch and grow in as little as one to four weeks.
In other words, these pencils are literally grow-ers, not show-ers!
Get them via Amazon; prices vary.
For the gaymer who needs a break from that aunt who keeps hounding them about their dating life
Sure, I (the writer of this article) may do PR for Xbox – a long time champion of the LGBTQ+ community, mind you – but I know a good deal when I see one, damn it! And Xbox Game Pass Ultimate is exactly that.
For you non-gamers out there, Xbox Game Pass Ultimate is a gaming subscription service that gives players instant access to hundreds of games across consoles, PC, and cloud… and there’s plenty of gay goodness to play on it. Whether it’s thirsting over the romance-able hotties in Starfield (all of whom can be courted no matter your character’s gender), or burning rubber as a non-binary driver in Forza Horizon 5, Xbox puts the GAY in Xbox GAYme Pass (see what we did there?).
Get Xbox Game Pass Ultimate for 16.99/month via Xbox.
For the pop culture enthusiast still defending Artpop
Sean Ellmore is a pop culture artist and illustrator who is “constantly inspired by music and celebrity.”
This inspiration is made all too clear in the absolutely stunning artwork Sean does. He’s captured portraits of Mariah Carey, Madonna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, Lana Del Rey and, Jennifer Coolidge, as well as memorialized some of pop culture’s most iconic moments. Who could forget Britney, Paris, and Lindsay’s night out? Lady Gaga’s bloody good 2009 “Paparazzi” performance? Or the twerk seen round the world?
Get Sean’s pop culture-inspired prints, shirts, mugs and more via Sean Ellmore; prices vary.
For the one who needs to chill TF out
Dessert + cannabis. What more could you want?! Edible brand Incredibles and NYC-based Magnolia Bakery recently joined forces to create a chocolate edible inspired by the bakery’s iconic banana pudding.
Called The Swirled Famous Banana Pudding Bar, this delectable little gem contains a vanilla pudding swirl, vanilla cookies, and freeze-dried bananas with 10mg THC per serving. Just goes to show you can have your green cake and eat it, too!
Availability based on location; find a store near you here.
For the one who can’t stop talking about The Eras Tour
If you’re reading this, chances are you have a Swiftie in your life who already owns every Taylor Swift album known to man – including (Taylor’s Version). Now, take their Swifie obsession to the next level by getting them a LEGO set that allows them to build a mosaic out of one of her albums!
A mad scientist / influencer known as KCZD has building instructions for each album available to download here, along with the exact LEGO set they’d need to make the magic happen. It’s a love story, baby!
For example, to recreate a LEGO mosaic of the Midnights album, you‘d buy the instruction manual for $10 here, and then buy the corresponding Batman LEGO Art set for $89.99 via Target.
For the one who wants to be merry, bright, and drunk
LOL I don’t know why you would buy these unless you are lowkey an alcoholic and/or want a fun way to store swigs of alcohol. But alas, these little boozeball ornaments are pretty darling.
According to the website, this set of 6 ornaments can be “opened with the screw top and festive drinks can be added. Once hung on the tree you can enjoy a quick little drink either daily or all at once, then refill.” Cheers, mate!
Get via Off The Wagon for $12.99
For the one who is deathly afraid of stinking up the bathroom after meeting the boyfriend’s parents
Look, we get it! There’s nothing more mortifying than stinking up the bathroom when you’re meant to be the distinguished and dignified guest at someone else’s home. You can’t help when duty (or doodie, teehee) calls during the holidays!
Fortunately, the bros at DUDE Bombs are here to save you. Their so-called “stank eliminators” are meant to cover up any embarrassing smells before you go. All you have to do is “drop one in the toilet before you sit down, let it rip, and enjoy your deuce with confidence.” It’s as easy as pie!
Get DUDE Bombs Stank Eliminators for $11.99 via Amazon
For the one who is obsessed with seeing everyone’s Spotify Wrapped
Why have a regular ol’ boring Christmas, when you can have one filled with gay icons? This holiday, pay your respects to music’s finest legends by purchasing Cher’s Christmas album, and then chase it down with Dolly Parton’s Rockstar. It’s the perfect way to drown out all your conservative family member’s awful opinions!
Get Cher’s Christmas for $13.99 and Dolly Parton’s Rockstar for $22.99 via Target
For the one who loves to sparkle
Queer-owned Automic Gold sells gender-free jewelry for all, made with reclaimed 14k gold. They offer an entire assortment of super cute jewelry, but our favorite is the custom name plates. Want a bracelet with your dog’s name on it? You can get one! Want to reclaim your favorite slur? There’s a necklace for that!
Start designing via Automic Gold; prices vary.
For your brunch buddy
Live everyday like it’s brunch day with these instant mimosa cubes. All you have to do is drop one of these cubes into a glass of bubbly and BAM! You’ve got yourself a mimosa or bellini cocktail.
Flavor choices include Citrus Trio (orange, grapefruit, and lemon) or Peaches & Berries Trio (strawberry, raspberry, and peach).
Get them for $30 via Uncommon Goods.
And finally… for the one looking for their next great read
Writer/actor/all around solid bloke, Ryan O’Connell, may be best known for his roles on Queer as Folk and Special – as well as providing us with enough thirst traps to keep us hydrated for a lifetime – but did you know he also wrote a novel, with a gay and disabled main character to boot?!
Just By Looking At Him tells the story of Elliot, a gay TV writer with cerebral palsy as he fights addiction and searches for acceptance in an overwhelmingly ableist world. The book is full of biting pop culture zingers Ryan is known for, and the kind of heart and hilarity that is sure to soften your cold dead heart.
As an added bonus, Ryan narrates the audiobook himself. Winning!
Get the Just By Looking at Him audiobook for $13.49 via Amazon.
This article includes links that may result in a small affiliate share for purchased products, which helps support independent LGBTQ+ media.
