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Why Can’t Rep. Louie Gohmert Stop Talking About All The Gay Sex He Witnessed In The Army?

Every now and then American voters put into office a man who will stop at nothing to put a smile on the faces of children through the magic of laughter. Rep. Louie Gohmert is that man. Speaking on the House floor about homosexuals in the military, as he often so embarrassingly does when he’s not speaking about homosexuals in the military on the radio, Gohmert tells America, “I know when I was in the army at Fort Benning and a young man there in the barracks could not control his overt feelings of homosexuality, and so he misread indications from another person in the barracks and found out that he had misread when he crawled into his bunk with him late one night, and his advances were not met with the kind of affection that he had hoped. That’s not good for the good order and discipline. When we had people who cannot control their hormones no matter whether it’s heterosexual, homosexual, whatever. They’re an impediment to the military.” My god does he like telling this story! [via]

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32 Comments

  • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

    [img]http://madmikesamerica.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/crosseyed_louie_499y.jpg[/img]

    Next thing you know he will be spewing how Gay sex makes one crosseyed :p

  • Tangelo

    I wonder if the person doing the bed hopping was him?

    Maybe he was in the next bunk and has never gotten over the fact that his fellow soldiers did not find him mountable.

  • Rocky

    The Lady doth protest too much.

    This has the, “…it happpened to a *friend*…” feel to it! LOL!

    Why is still kicking himself? So he didn’t realize he was flirting with a gay man! So what?

  • gregger

    Rep Gohmert crawled into another mans bunk??? It’s certainly sounding like that.

  • dvlaries

    There’s no mystery here, not with those looks. He never got the prize girls and he never got the prize boys. It’s exactly those people who can never stop talking about sex.

  • Vman455

    Pardon me, but how in the hell is that story any sort of justification for DADT? If the dreaded homosexuals are going to be homosexually-behaving anyway, regardless of policy, isn’t this really an argument against as it showcases its ineffectiveness?

  • ChiGuy76

    Why does anyone listen to this guy? It seems like his only personal experience with gay soldiers comes from Falcon videos. I believe our soldiers can handle themselves better than what he describes. Rep. Gohmert really is an embarassment to his district as well as to the South in general. No wonder stereotypes still persist about Southerners.

  • Pip

    @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: AHAHAHAHAHA please tell me that picture is real. God what a fucking tard.

  • gregger

    @ChiGuy76: Wasn’t there a show based on him?

    Gohmert Pyle USMC, Well, goooooooooolly.

  • T

    So if he wants such misunderstandings to end then openness is the right choice. If your forthright about yourself there can be little misunderstanding. Having to hide yourself and judge but interpretation is the real enemy.

  • T

    So if he wants such misunderstandings to end then openness is the right choice. If your forthright about yourself there can be little misunderstanding. Having to hide yourself and judge by interpretation is the real enemy.

  • codyj

    him an his BIG FAT 3rd grade education..sigh,lol..

  • Tessie Tura

    And how many times did hetero male soldiers put the make on the women? Mary, TAILHOOK is not a fashion accessory.

  • McMike

    Can we just call this story what it is really: BULLSHITE.

    I’m sorry but this guy is completely full of it. So we’re suppose to believe a gay guy crawled into the bed of another soldier… Um, yeah.

  • ProfessorVP

    Listen, a friend of mine who was stationed in Germany told me- and he is not one to lie- that there was more man-on-man action at our military base there than on any given night in the Castro. Newsflash: after a protracted period, young men in good shape start to look good to each other. Then after assignments, they go back to their normal lives- usually with wives and girlfriends. This is how it was, is, and will always be. Same as male-on-female military rape. Ditto. No rule book or Pile of Gohmert prissiness will change that. Still, it will not be a sufficient distraction or impediment for America to permanently occupy Iraq and Afghanistan. Oh, not for oil, gas, minerals and a pipeline project. No. For the children!

  • hf2hvit

    Down Texas way, we call it CORNHOLING!

  • Daez

    I agree with him, people that can not control their sexual advances should not be in the military. Those people are called SEXUAL OFFENDERS not gay, and should most definitely be discharged.

    What exactly does this have to do with being or DADT? Oh wait, nothing!

  • Daez

    @dvlaries: Shallow assed “prized” “perfect 10s” will never and have never been worth commenting on.

  • Daez

    @ProfessorVP: Maybe it should be noted that one of the most proud and most cohesive military units in history was made up completely of homosexuals that were all very close to each other (Greece).

  • declanto

    @Daez: There has never been a completely homosexual military in known history. Your idolized view of the Hellenic cultures is misplaced chauvinism. Alexander, a homosexual, led his army to conquer the known world, but his army was the normal mix of straight/homos. Like it should be in a normal society, like it probably was in Mz. Gomerette’s Army days.
    @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: You’re a darling to share this intimate tidbit with us :-)

  • Bill Cooney

    Not cross-eyed but cockeyed!

  • Jaroslaw

    #6 Vman – absolutely excellent point – what is the point DADT or any other rule if guys are going to try to have sex with each other anyhow?

    #20 Declanto – Daez wasn’t talking about Alexander, I think it was either the Spartans or the Sacred Band of Thebes. In any event it was pairs of male partners (women didn’t fight in those days) and it was thought (probably correctly) that they would fight super hard to make sure their partner didn’t get killed. This history books indicate they were a formidable force.

  • declanto

    @Jaroslaw: Don’t say that women didn’t fight in those days, when this is the very foundation of the Amazonian legends. If we are willing to believe in the legends of the Sacred Band, we must give credence to the women warriors as well. And while I’ll concede that these pairings actually existed, I’ve never heard of a “gay” army.

  • Mack Robertson

    Could it be possible that Representative Gohmert is Anita Bryant in male drag?

  • justiceontherocks

    I left a message for the Congressman that Steamworks is planning to open a bath house in Afghanistan. Hope he’ll look into it.

  • Nightthorn k'Vala

    @declanto: The Sacred Band was made up of 150 homosexual couples. They were unbeatable for decades. It took genius warriors like Philip and Alexander to conquer them and they never gave up, dying honorably to the last man.

  • lll lll lll

    Why don’t we just say butt fucking cock suckers. Gay was from the 1890 and had an entirely different meaning. back when, if you were in the military and found a fagget with his dick up his lover’s ass a soldier was justified in killing the fagget bastard. In my day we carried fox hole shovels into battle. One less butt fucker makes this world a better place.

  • Mack Robertson

    @LLL LLL LLL What is a fagget???? Your spelling is as fucked up as your philosophy. Speaking of making the world a better place, I can think of one homophobic nut case (LLL LLL LLL) who, if he had been a victim of friendly, or unfriendly fire, would have made this world a much, much more loving and better place. You obviously have two places where shit comes from. Your mouth and your ass.

  • Jaroslaw

    LLL LLL LLL If you hate “faggets” so much, why are you here? There are all kinds of places you can share your opinions with people who agree with you. Don’t look to get me riled up, cuz’ lunatics can’t do that to me, and YOU are one.

    Suppposedly our military exists to defend this country’s principles, one of which is freedom of choice. If those two guys want to fuck each other in the ass, that is their choice, NOT yours. They are not bothering anyone but screwed up, religious and very often closet cases like YOU. Get a life and get off of this blog.

  • thematics

    @LLL LLL LLL: Remember to wipe off your keyboard now that you got your goo all over it. Poor closet cases like you just are obsessed with man – man sex. What’s wrong with ya? Not able to get it up with a woman?

  • Jaroslaw

    #23 Declanto – I didn’t notice you replied. First, do you know the difference between mythology and history? If not, I’m having a battle of wits with an unarmed (I assume) man. Seriously, all you have to do is some reading. Hippocrates and Homer SPECULATED about women warriors and how many centuries ago was that and they had no actual proof then. The Spartans and Sacred Band of Thebes actually existed and there is a monument to the SBT in Thebes standing today.

    Now anything is possible, but you can also use some much closer to home, recent observations – women did not serve in any combat capacity in our own USA army until relatively recently and from what I can tell on an internet search, still do not do front line combat. FLC seems to be an exception even in Israel whose amry is and has been much more close to “equality” than ours.

  • Mack Robertson

    @Declanto As far as I can discern, the Mamluks came as close as possible to being a unified homosexual fighting army in the history of the world. They were comprised of Eurasian children purchased from their parents, and children taken from the Crusades. They were converted to the Islamic religion, raised in all male barracks, and taught to be extremely loyal to their respective caliphs.

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