A woman has been thrown into complete turmoil after finding pages and pages of gay porn on her husband’s phone. So she’s seeking words of help from veteran advice columnist Colleen Nolan.
“I’m a 32-year-old woman,” the woman’s letter begins. “I’ve been with my partner for 10 years (married for four) and we have a child together who is nearly seven.”
She continues: “I have never been paranoid before about what my husband gets up to and have always trusted him. That was until I used his phone to search for something online and found a tab open for a gay porn site. I looked at his history and found lots more gay porn.”
Hmmm. As we’ve reported in the past, sometimes straight guys watch gay porn. So this alone shouldn’t be cause for concern. But, of course, there’s another layer to story…
“Now I’m very suspicious about him and his friendship with his best mate,” the woman continues, “as they are always together to the point where he barely spends any time with me. They even go for meals and to the cinema together.”
She says she’s never thought much of their friendship, “but now all the pieces add up and point to the fact that they’re more than friends.”
“Should I confront him?” she wonders.
Related: Straight Guys Reflect On Those Times They Had Gay Sex
Colleen wastes no time answering the question.
“Yes, absolutely,” she advises. “You can’t un-see this stuff.”
As for his best mate, she says, it’s most likely that the two are just friends.
“But because of what you’ve found you’re naturally suspicious and you’ve immediately latched on
to the idea they’re sleeping together,” she says. “You need to know one way or the other, so sit down with him, explain what you’ve seen and find out what’s going on.”
But, she cautions, “be prepared that he might turn round and admit that he’s gay or bisexual.”
“It might be one of those situations where he’s been in denial for many years or perhaps he knew his family wouldn’t accept his sexuality and he’s hoped that somehow marriage would change things,” she says.
“The bottom line is you can’t just go back to how things were before you found this material and pretend you haven’t seen it,” she concludes.
Related: Does This Man’s Wife Deserve To Know His Kinky Gay Adult Film Past?
Josh447
Yup with bisexuality being extremely high in our species, our number is up. No more hiding. Come out come it wherever you are. Society is evolving fortunately, tho not without growing pains. With the demise if religion, it’ll be easier to tackle this reality, with great success I presume.
Zekester
That’s it! I’m done and outa here. I just can’t take anymore of Queerty’s sick obsession with closeted faggots and their fetishizing of allegedly “straight” men having gay sex.
Dave Downunder
After the absolute shit storm that has blown up into a vile exchange of hateful words on the other recently posted article about bisexual men (6 down from this one) I am surprised that Queerty have posted a second article to inflame things even further. Seems quite irresponsible.
DCguy
“Hmmm. As we’ve reported in the past, sometimes straight guys watch gay porn. So this alone shouldn’t be cause for concern. ”
—-
No, straight men don’t look at gay porn, Bisexual or closeted gay men look at it.
I’m serious, is some anti-gay group paying blog sites each time they use the word straight? Why is there a concerted effort to pretend that bisexuals or closeted gay people don’t exist?
gayhope1990
A joke.Only the naive believe in that shit.They’re no such things of bisexuals or heteroflexibles.Just closeted gay.
brooklynboy
It’s amazing how closed-minded this community can be sometimes. Just because many of you are out and proud doesn’t mean everyone is. In fact, there’s a good chance there are still MORE people out there afraid to admit they’re gay or bi to themselves or others than there are those of us who are out. There is nothing wrong with Queerty publishing articles that those people can relate to and frankly, unless you’re one of the select few who never really had to come out, there was probably a time you could relate to it too. So CHILL OUT and if it doesn’t apply to you just read the next article. The people who still feel the need to call themselves straight could certainly use our SUPPORT not RIDICULE and they definitely could use a resource like Queerty to learn more about what being gay or bi is all about. Don’t be hypocrite. Accept everyone.
DCguy
@brooklynboy: stated: It’s amazing how closed-minded this community can be sometimes. Just because many of you are out and proud doesn’t mean everyone is. In fact, there’s a good chance there are still MORE people out there afraid to admit they’re gay or bi to themselves or others than there are those of us who are out. There is nothing wrong with Queerty publishing articles that those people can relate to
——–
But there IS something wrong with publishing articles that continually erase the existence of lgbts because you want to make closet cases feel comfortable.
Would you be defending articles that erased the existence of racial minorities so that people who were “uncomfortable” with the topic didn’t have to be inconvenienced?
It is amazing how willing the lgbt community often is to apologize for its existence, and allow itself to be defined by bigots, or the closet.
If people NEED to call themselves straight, that isn’t our problem, it is them mislabeling themselves, and what IS our problem is building a strong and safe space for lgbts so that when they DO come out, they can do so with as few barriers as possible.
Now take a seat.
Hermes
@Zekester: What is wrong with you people? It is reality, it really is – far more than you and a lot of other people admit. In my life, if you count sex partners as opposed to life partners, of whom I’ve had one for 25 years now – I have had FAR more straight sex partners than gay or bi ones – FAR FAR FAR more. In fact, its about 15 to 2 during my life – and that counts my life partner as one of the two. GET over yourself. The fantic scramble for security is no different from the same thing when undertaken in the straight world, and no healthier. Get over yourself, reality is what it is – and remember, among the bonobos, our nearest primate relatives – there are NO heterosexuals.
Regards
Hermes
@gayhope1990: That is utter bull – no one is so blind as he who will not see – and you obviously have decided not to see.
Hermes
@DCguy: Reality has nothing to do with erasing anybody. I have been out since I was 13 – never suffered because of it honestly – and been having sex for about the same period of time. I’ve news for you – you don’t have to like it – but a lot of straight guys DO have sex with guys – and that doesn’t erase anyone, not even a tiny bit. I would, in fact, be very difficult to erase and I can say with absolute surety that I’ve done as much to bring about acceptance of and affection for gays as anyone who isn’t a star. You can call that arrogance if you want, but you do it in ignorance of anything I’ve done in my life. I for one am sick to death of seeing drama ridden guys who can’t imagine that everyone isn’t like them acting out because everyone really isn’t like them – whether they are gay or straight. Please, grow up. I mean that seriously.
brooklynboy
@Hermes: Cheers!
@DCguy: No one is suggesting it’s OK to erase the identity of LGBTs, what we’re saying is that it’s OK to have not figured out where you fall yet on the spectrum. Some people never will – that’s OK too, albeit not recommended if you want sanity! I didn’t go through hell coming out of the closet to join another exclusive club that hates on people still treading water in the middle. It’s ignorant and self-hating to declare that anyone who is interesting in gay sex but doesn’t call themselves gay is “mislabeling” themselves. Who cares about labels! Regardless of whether the guy in the article is a total closet case or just sort of curious what gay porn is like, it’s a shame either way he feels afraid to admit it. We should be understanding of that. So you can tell me to take a seat, but maybe you can do the world a favor and get down from your high horse.
dansteddy
That’s what she gets for snooping around on someone else’s phone.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
The Inconsistency with you people is amazing! A man or “man” can legitimately label thereself a woman by dint of honestly feeling or identifying as one — no ifs or buts ; but a heterosexual married man who happens to also likes dick can’t genuinely identify as straight?!?
Paco
@Hermes: So if there are no heterosexual bonobos, then it would be logical to assume there are no homosexual bonobos either. We aren’t bonobos. We are human. And I know I am 100% homosexual.
You had sex with men mislabeling themselves, for whatever convoluted reasons, as straight. If males are having homosexual sex, they are not heterosexual. Since you used another species to make your argument about human sexual behavior, saying there are no heterosexual bonobos, then how can you call all those straight men you slept with, straight? What was the point of mentioning the bonobos bisexuality if you insist on erasing it in humans by calling these men that engage in regular homosexual sex with you, straight?
bottom250
Move on honey let your man be free.
surreal33
Women seriously needed to stop living in fantasy land. If you have even the smallest suspicion your husband likes dick BELIEVE IT! No man is clever enough to cover the fact his entire existence is lie. Ladies you have open your eyes the truth is right there.
Sluggo2007
There are a lot of people out there who aren’t what they want you to believe. Sorry wifey, but I’m afraid you’re screwed (or not, in this case).
DCguy
@brooklynboy:
No, what you were suggesting is that the usage of proper wording and the tone of the article be changed specifically to cater to people in the closet and hide the reality of the situation because it might upset them. This is an out lgbtq blog. There is no reason for the authors of an article to rewrite their articles because somebody in the closet who is self hating might become upset by in their face out-ness.
scotty
stupid, insecure bitch. (the woman going thru her mans phone hoping to find stuff like this so she can bitch)
Malcolm Forest
Why does this website keep posting these obviously fake articles? Is it to promote discussion?
ErikO
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: A lot of these queens here worship hetero/straight guys and want to have sex with them but then in reality are biphobic bigots and hypocrites.