words of wisdom

You Probably Don’t Follow Davey Wavey’s Golden Rule Of Online Dating

Perhaps it’s because you don’t go online to “date,” but rather look for “NSA play.” But I think Davey Wavey’s master rule for online cruising, or whatever it is you’re calling it so you can continue insisting you’re not a slut, is a reasonable one: Don’t be a fucking douche. Because we’ve all got different rules about Manhunting, Grindring, and even Matching.

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    If you are lookin to hook online you need to follow this simple rule 75% of what dudes post is pure unadulterated bullshit. Prior to any hook, I always insist they send me a cellphone pic with some proof that it is a picture being taken that exact date such as a newspaper,or in front of a TV screen showing a program on at that time……….

    This way you have proof the picture they have posted was not from the class of ’78……….

  • scott ny'er

    ok. dave didn’t irritate as much with this one. Altho, he was being a little douchey by using the word douche. But, whatevs.

    @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: Dayumn. You really make the dudes work for their nookie. LOL. You must be one hot thang.

  • Owen

    I do get douchey with guy online when I contact them and they reply, “I’m seeing someone”. I shouldn’t. But I do. Why not just say “I’m not interested”. Why lie? I don’t know why this pisses me off so badly. Perhaps because he is on a gay dating/hookup site an his profile has dick pix, a description of the types of guys he goes for, and no indication he is currently in a dating situation. Does he think I’M FUCKING STUPID???????? Oops. There I go again.

  • pete

    Thank god I’m old enough never to have had to go online for dating purposes. It must be really daunting and frustrating. I like sex as much as the next guy, but it seems that’s what it’s mostly about. Good luck, I guess.

  • TimBo

    LOL I saw the “Dont be a Fucking Douche Online” behind him and thought he was admitting to being a Douche and that was before I even saw the video!

  • Charlie

    Got to agree with Davey. It’ snot worth it to spend our time festering about the people who don’t treat us well. I’d rather have someone show me that they are a jerk right off the bat than have them hide it.

    Also… to back up Davey’s “Don’t focus on the shortcomings of other people approach” I would say that there is nothing less appealing than clicking on someone and having the first half of their profile be a list of things they don’t want. Like people who start a profile with: “No games, no drama.” Do they think that game players are super self aware and say “Oh ok well I guess it won’t work out with this guy, I’ll find someone not opposed to my lying and cheating.” It just makes me think “Ok this person sounds unhappy.”

  • Spike

    Good lord, has this mindless twink ever dated anyone he didn’t meet online??? As in old school, meet at a bar, at the gym, at a house party, at a club, at the hardware store, where the physical attraction is immediate and has nothing to do with your ASL, profile, turn on/offs, etc., etc., etc ????

    I’m guessing not.

  • Brutus

    Why does he suggest that having a cock pic is inconsistent with wanting a relationship?

    As for people not responding to messages, get over it. It’s silly to be upset because someone didn’t write back, “Hey, thanks, but I’m not interested.” Of course, then you’ll get all upset and say, “Not interested in what? I just wanted to chat,” trying to make them feel like a douche. Nonanswering causes the least pain for both parties.

  • Allnighter

    I agree with Brutus. Think of it as if you were trying to make eye contact with a guy at a bar. If he’s interested, he will meet your gaze. We all know when someone’s trying to catch our eye! Ignore it and no one’s feelings get hurt. Since we can’t actually “look” at people online, you have to message them. If it gets ignored, you move on!

  • Berto

    What if I am a douche, Davey? Shouldn’t I embrace my doucheness? Aren’t you the one who always tells me to love myself no matter what? Shoudln’t I embrace myself and shout my douceheness to the universe and thank them for making me who I am? Aren’t we all supposed to be true to ourselves?

    Now you tell me I shouldn’t be a douche? Sounds like douchaphobia to me. Shame!


    @scott ny’er: After a stream of waay too old, overweight, trolls who were depicted in their photos as everything they are not I vowed never again hook without solid evidence of just who I was meeting.

    My method is kinda drastic, but they know what they are getting and so do I…. :p

  • Dating

    This video is somewhat soo funny for me. I liked it.

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