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C*CK SHOTS

Battle Of The Bulge, Round 2: Which Celebrity Has The Most Impressive Package?

battle-of-the-bulge-queerty-joe-jonas-romeo-miller-Novak-Djokovic-joe-manganielloQueerty’s quest to determine the best celebrity bulge continues this week with ten new celebrity hopefuls.

In May, Queerty readers voted overwhelmingly for Jon Hamm’s headline-grabbing schlong as the best celebrity bulge, with actor David Henrie’s poolside package coming in second, followed closely behind by Michael Fassbender’s sweatpants surprise.

Surprising upsets include David Beckham, Mario Lopez, and Trey Songz. We guess overexposure works against you in a competition like this…

Below, check out the ten new celebrity contenders, and as always, feel free to suggest men for Round 3 in the comments section below.

joe-jonas-bulge

Joe Jonas, singer

tyson-beckford-bulge

Tyson Beckford, model

joe-manganiello-bulge

Joe Manganiello, actor

chris-pine-bulge

Chris Pine, actor

Novak-Djokovic-bulge

Novak Djokovic, professional tennis player

Shemar-Moore-bulge

Shemar Moore, actor

taylor-lautner-bulge

Taylor Lautner, actor

Grant-Bowler-bulge

Grant Bowler, actor

henry-cavill-bulge

Henry Cavill, actor/model

romeo-miller-bulge

Romeo Miller, rapper

By:           Matthew Tharrett
On:           Jun 1, 2014
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
  • 30 Comments
    • Gil
      Gil

      I knew Novak was hung…have yet to meet a tall, skinny white boy without a huge penis…but Novak must be at least 10…*sigh*

      Jun 1, 2014 at 9:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jiminsd
      jiminsd

      That’s a tennis ball in Djokovic’s pocket.

      Jun 1, 2014 at 9:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stefano
      Stefano

      I want a ‘larger breast’ contest !!! Please please please !

      Jun 1, 2014 at 10:03 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      I love Djokovic.

      Jun 1, 2014 at 10:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • carey579
      carey579

      Couldn’t care less.

      I agree with Stefano – let’s have a contest of the biggest/best PECS or ASS!

      The parts of the celeb’s anatomy that we can actually see /have seen!

      Jun 1, 2014 at 11:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Giova13
      Giova13

      People. Novak is a tennis player. What do you think he keeps in his pocket? If you said two tennis balls, you be correct. Thats not all him.

      Jun 1, 2014 at 12:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Qjersey
      Qjersey

      Schwing! for the tennis player

      Jun 1, 2014 at 12:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • modelo giro
      modelo giro

      Tennisballs in your pocket don´t really count and the real thing of the tennisplayer is not that impressive. I´m not voting this time. Didn´t feel a “wow!”

      Jun 1, 2014 at 1:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • cflekken
      cflekken

      And gays wonder why straight guys feel so paranoid around us. If we want to win the “fight” and be accepted, this kind of sh*t needs to stop. As much as we say, “just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m checking you out”. Well, guess what, that’s a load of bull.

      Jun 1, 2014 at 2:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      The editors need instruction in male anatomy. Imagine mistaking the contents of someone’s pocket for his package. I say revoke your gay card.

      Jun 1, 2014 at 2:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bambinoitaliano
      bambinoitaliano

      @cflekken: ohh ohh straight guys!! Don’t look!! They will shrink like a violet.

      Jun 1, 2014 at 4:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dxley
      Dxley

      Meh

      Jun 1, 2014 at 5:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Desert Boy
      Desert Boy

      None compare to Jon Hamm. Looking at his enormous, low-hanging cum delivery system is as close to a religious experience as I’ll ever know.

      Jun 1, 2014 at 6:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Teeth
      Teeth

      When hot guys who are models or porn actors show off their goods it’s one thing. They chose to. But this is creepy and just the full stereotype that our worst enemies have of us. Seriously, scoping out a guys bulge as he walks down the street? Queerty is SO freakin sensitive about not offending people by using the magic T-word, but posts crap like this which is on the verge of predatory.

      Jun 1, 2014 at 7:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tony4457
      Tony4457

      I want to include in the “bulge” KEITH HARKIN, lead singer of Celtic Thunder. That man wears the tightest jeans and is always showing a basket to dream about!!! I don’t feel its fair adding on Obvious Fakes (aka Novak)….even in his speedo on the catwalk, he wasn’t swinging that much!!! Thanks :D

      Jun 1, 2014 at 9:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jamie
      Jamie

      @cflekken @Teeth … C’mon guys, you make it sound like gay guys are the only ones who notice and admire attractive people in day-to-day situations. You think straight guys don’t notice a woman’s breasts if she’s wearing a tight shirt?

      Jun 1, 2014 at 9:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • truckproductions
      truckproductions

      that tennis player clearly just has something cylindrical in his pocket.. ur lust for the guy has made you stupid enough to believe he’d be walking around the court fully erect with such an obvious boner..

      Jun 1, 2014 at 9:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tjr101
      tjr101

      Novak has a tennis ball in his pocket. I voted for Shemar Moore.
      For the soap box moralist on here, it’s not just gay guys that watch packages straight women do as well they’re just not as open about it with anyone besides their friends. Straight men watch women’s breast and ass all the time.

      Jun 1, 2014 at 10:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bee Gaga
      Bee Gaga

      @Gil: Um sorry to disappoint, that’s a tennis ball in his pocket sweetie. Not his penis, obviously lol

      Jun 1, 2014 at 11:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      I don’t care of it is a tennis ball. The tennis player is extremely sexy and I would certainly invite him to my bed if I ever met him.

      Jun 2, 2014 at 5:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Teeth
      Teeth

      @Jamie: There are plenty of straight guys who post pics of unsuspecting women’s revealing clothing. What do you think of those men? And we don’t even have THAT luxury because we are the (feared) minority. We are playing out the stereotype. Well, not we… Queerty. I’m not a sexual prude. My hard drive is about 50% hot porn. (though, tbh I am not a size queen.). And of COURSE, I notice that hot Mexican guy at my gym with the swinging nads in his dark blue basketball shorts…. I digress…. posting contests of unsuspecting men’s moose nuckles on a website makes us look predatory.

      Jun 2, 2014 at 10:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dwayne420
      Dwayne420

      Novak Djokovic’s pic on the right is tennis balls…don’t LGBT’s watch tennis? He always puts 2-3 in his pocket…that pic is disqualified! LOL

      Jun 2, 2014 at 5:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • lew1004
      lew1004

      For round 3, I suggest Tom Welling. There is one scene from Smallville, where he was running and his junk was all over the place!

      Jun 4, 2014 at 3:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Random
      Random

      Hmmm….this just proves that gays can be every bit as creepy as straight men.

      Jun 5, 2014 at 7:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tricky ricky
      tricky ricky

      SHEMAR MOORE. there is actual photographic proof of it. photo of him was snapped at a nude beach

      Jun 30, 2014 at 9:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bjarne Henriksen
      Bjarne Henriksen

      I watch plenty of tennis – and can’t ever see anything impressive in Novak’s pants… I love him, but in this department, he’s not #1… or #2…
      My money’s on Taylor Lautner… just google more pics of him…

      Jul 3, 2014 at 2:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rick
      Rick

      I hate to tell y’all, but that’s a tennis ball in boyfriend’s pocket.

      Aug 1, 2014 at 4:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Black Swan
      Black Swan

      There was no bulge in Chris Pine’s pictures, and Novak had shit in his pocket. I’d hate to say Shemar Moore, because he is so already passe, but for the record that’s exactly how you take a bulge pic. Shirtless, soaking wet, and with your cap crooked to the side. So that leaves me with the two Joe’s, and the Lautner guy. Who to choose? Joe Jonas it is! He’s a cute kid. Who knows. Maybe he’ll be filled with infectious gratitude, and somehow shower me with affection some day.

      And to all the queens who took this survey just to bitch, moan, and complain about gay/straight comparisons: It’s a survey meant in fun, and we would only be giving the oppressor a taste of his own medicine if what you say about the straight man is the truth. I never said straight men were predatory leches. You did you self-hating homosexuals. Now, get yourselves some therapy: sadly you missed that this was supposed to be the fun part of your day.

      Sep 13, 2014 at 12:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Black Swan
      Black Swan

      Alright. I just checked the poll results. How in the Hell is this fucking Novak kid in the lead?

      Sep 13, 2014 at 12:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ric
      ric

      @cflekken: Hey. I agree 1’000%. This shot do’ s need to stop.

      Sep 26, 2014 at 4:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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