CHER-RY CHRISTMAS

Cher Is Hawking Holiday Gear On Her Website… And It’s Kind Of Amazing

Let’s face it, our lady Cher will do anything for a buck. Over the years she’s hawked perfume, Lori Davis Hair products, Aquasentials skin care products, Equal Zero-Calorie Sweetener, exercise videos and, oh yeah, movies and albums, too. Her latest business endeavor: holiday-themed merchandise, including t-shirts, sweatshirts, ornaments, and coffee mugs, all featuring the dance diva and available for sale on her website.

But before we get into all that, let’s take a quick walk down memory lane and look at some of Cher’s past efforts as a saleswoman…

In the ’80s, she did a series of commercials for a health club in Chicago:

This prompted her to launch a series of exercise videos called CherFitness: Body Confidence:

As well as write a book called Cher: Forever Fit that featured 342-pages of low-fat recipes and exercise regimes for people hoping to lose weight:

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In 1994, she put $2 million of her own money into releasing a mail-order catalog called Sanctuary which featured affordable gothic-style home furnishings, including shaggy throw pillows, beaded wall sconces, incense holders, and a statues of reclining Egyptian goddesses:

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Then there was that Medic Alert bracelet campaign she did:

Now, she’s released an official “Cher Holiday Collection.” Let’s take a look at the latest line of winter-themed products currently available at her online store:

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Keep warm in this adorable sweatshirt featuring Cher plopped on top of a candy cane cane for just $55.

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$15 will buy you this Christmas ornament depicting the face of Cher. Look closely and you’ll see the weird chain thing covering her face is actually rainbow colored, which means this is could double as a Gay pride ornament, if you want.

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This “Merry Christmas Baseball Tee” features Cher in a long red gown and green cardigan with a Santa hat on her head and would make an excellent last minute gift for a co-worker, presumably one who you don’t like. $35.

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Need a stocking stuffer? Cher’s got you covered. This attractive Mrs. Claus-themed white coffee mug is just $20.

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Mom would look fabulous in this long-sleeve T featuring a picture of Cher posing in front of an enormous red snowflake, don’t you think? $35.

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Okay, so this one is actually kinda cool. It’s an ugly holiday sweatshirt with Cher’s name on it that is, like the diva herself, timeless. Seriously, we may have to order one of these. Assuming they don’t sell out before we get a chance to. $55.

Related stories:

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Cher Under Fire From Conservatives For Calling Sarah Palin A Dumb C*nt

Four Incredible Videos From Cher’s “Dressed To Kill” Tour Opening Night

Graham Gremore is a columnist and contributor for Queerty and Life of the Law. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.