HOW-TOS

Hey Tracy: Here’s Queerty’s 5-Step Guide To Anti-Gay Celebrity Forgiveness

So Tracy Morgan’s going back to Nashville for an “I’m sorry I wanted to stab my gay son” tour—brought to you by GLAAD and that national attention that pressured him to do it after his violently anti-gay routine. As part of his public penance, he’ll meet with queer youths in New York, talk with the Nashville audience members he ticked off, film a PSA, and hold a news conference against Tennessee’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Should we make his actions part of a set list that every celebrity must go through whenever they do something anti-gay? Because it’s still socially acceptable to hate on queers (thanks GOP), certain dumb celebrities are gonna say anti-gay stuff from time to time. We don’t like it, but if Kobe Bryant, Noah Joakim, and Soulja Boy are any indication, we should expect it to happen again… like, before the month is over. The real danger of celebrities saying anti-gay things is that they contribute to a homophobic atmosphere and encourage fans to participate in similar behavior. Morgan and others can’t undo the effect of their initial actions but that’s OK because (as we’ve said in the past) the occasional anti-gay slur can highlight the pervasive role of homophobia in everyday America. Plus, the public penance process can go a long way towards shifting the public discussion back on how homophobia hurts and how American citizens can fight intolerance. Ultimately, we’d like “faggot” and violent homophobia to register as high on the “social no-no scale” as saying nigger, kyke, or threatening violence against any other group. People lose their careers over such things and they should. But until that day, another celebrity slur is just waiting to happen. So perhaps the gay community should just standardize a penance to-do list. That way, anytime some turd burglar steps in it, he or she can have clear steps of how to apologize and give back to the gay community before the gay community even has a chance to get all pissed about it. Then said offender can humbly accept whatever additional hoops their employer would like them to jump and even possibly a well-deserved firing!
APOLOGIZE ON YOUR OWN
We imagine that until they saw the tape or read the account that neither Bryant nor Morgan knew they had been caught saying anti-gay stuff. So instead of appealing your fine and insisting that we’ve all misunderstood your enlightened use of the word “faggot” (Bryant) or saying “no comment” until the public pressures you into an apology (Morgan), how about you draft out a sincere apology with the following elements and then release it into the press? 1. A GENUINE “I’M SORRY FOR MY ANTI-GAY ACTIONS”: Please don’t give us the non-apology of “I’m sorry if you were offended,” or “I’m sorry for any offense my actions might have caused.” Just say you’re sorry for acting like a dumb bigot. There’s a big boy. 2. AN EXPLANATION OF WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU: Sometimes celebrities get angry and go on hateful tirades (just ask John “I Love Hitler” Galliano). So why not explain what drove you to begin with. Say, “I was angry at the referee and called him a fag,” or “I was trying to be edgy by threatening to stab my gay son.” We’ll listen. In fact, understanding what drove you to your hateful actions helps us understand what motivates others to do the same and what areas we need to focus on to help keep people from doing it again. 3. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WHY WHAT YOU DID WAS HURTFUL: Please take the time to acknowledge why what you did is so bad. In Bryant’s case he could have said, “A lot of athletes use slurs like faggot all the time. It’s insulting to gay people and women and makes sports lovers of all types think that sort of behavior is OK, but it’s not. It contributes to a hateful atmosphere where people can’t be themselves for fear of personal insult.” See how grown-up, educational, and self-aware that sounds? You’re already on your way to developing a soul… 4. WHAT YOU’RE GONNA DO ABOUT IT: Read on…
INVEST A SHIT TON INTO GAY GROUPS
You’re a celebrity. You make more money than we’ll ever waste in a lifetime. So why not just donate the spare million dollars you have laying around the bathroom and several months of your time to a gay group that works against whatever crap you just promoted? Anti-gay slur? Give to GLSEN and do some community work with GLAAD. Wanna stab a gay kid? Give to homeless gay youth and visit with gay-bashing victims. Be sure to make a public statement talking about why the group’s work matters and what you hope others will learn by your example. Then, when it’s all over, release another statement talking about your experience and how it opened your eyes, changed your heart, and help you envision a better tomorrow where your kind isn’t tolerated.
APOLOGIZE ON TV… A LOT
Go do the talk show circuit, the morning news program circle jerks, and the late night talk show gauntlet to highlight how much you suck, how you deserve the public scorn, and what you’re doing about it. If possible, make it entertaining with teary-eyed groveling, a comic skit re-enacting your offense, or a musical number explaining why you’re a d-bag—we love musicals.
MAKE A GOOD PSA
We’re not talking about the forced, X-Tube quality schlock that Bryant pooped out telling everyone to be nice to everybody all the time. We’re talking about a professional quality video with lighting, makeup, music, and writing that specifically tells other people not to do what you did (kinda like the one above). Also, get some of your celebrity friends to take part. In fact, we won’t forgive you unless you drag at least two other celebrities in on your YouTube PSA. And hell, why not be all 21st century about it and also start a Facebook page, a web campaign with lots of banner ads, and print ads? For every medium you use, you will get one princess point (but just one). And make sure to end each PSA with a mention of where people can donate or go to learn more.


SUSPEND YOURSELF

An anti-gay celebrity action inevitably comes with the calls that said celebrity be fired. We agree. Saying nigger or kyke will get you fired—saying faggot should have the same effect.

But seeing as celebs and their promoters aren’t likely to give up their multi-million dollar careers, the celeb can pre-empt such calls by promising to disappear for a while, say six months minimum. Think of it as a “time out” for jerks.

That way, you can think about what you did, the bad press can blow over, and you can show that you give enough of a crap about your employer not to associate them with your bad behavior.

And for God’s sake don’t go to rehab. Rehab for homophobia? Really?! Lame.

Considering Morgan’s past anti-gay statements, we should have no illusions that his current apologetic actions come wholly from a desire to save his career rather than a genuine change of heart. And y’know what? We’re fine with that.

As long as homophobia exists (re: forever) some people will thinks queers deserve to be called “faggot”, stabbed, disowned, blackmailed, whatever. Our set penance list doesn’t promote the idea that once can easily get forgiven for condoning anti-gay behavior—our list isn’t easy. It requires time, work, financial investment, career sacrifice, repeated public apology, and a boatload of crow eating. Yummy.

But going through our Purgatory might not change an anti-gay celebrity’s heart—only they can do that. This is about changing other people’s perceptions more than their own and planting seeds so hope can grow in the places scorched by their hateful actions.

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36 Comments*

  • Josh6852

    He looks like every black man, with that shitty grin and blood shot eyes calling me a fa@@ot growing up. I Grew up outside Cincinnati and Detroit. Most ALL gay bars were downtown. The urban community would commit atrocious violence against bar patrons leaving in the late night hours. I’ve been assaulted by a group of black men leaving a gay bar. More needs to be done outside the circle of Tracy Morgan. Comics TODAY need to treat “FA@@OT” JUST LIKE “NI@@ER” don’t say it. The reaction from gay friendly comedians is embarrassing,everyone seems out to protect Tracy because they know him personally. Whoopi and Joy were soooooo embarrassing and uninformed on The View yesterday.

  • Josh6852

    Clip of Whoopi Goldberg and Sherri Sheppard defending Tracy Morgan on The View yesterday. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEOL_Pb2HFs

  • ZT

    Josh : Don’t you dare talk like that! Those were really white rednecks attacking you, in disguise. White elites like Andrew Belonsky and Andrew Towle will flap their limp wrists at you and admonish, “You’re not being a rainbow gay-gay!!”

  • ZT

    (And before I get yelled at, my criticism here is certainly not directed at decent African-American gay folk, who I know have to put up with any AA homophobia much more than us white folk on a regular basis, as well as- sometimes- uncalled for racism by gay white and Asian men).

  • ArtNYC

    Thanks for the link, Josh. Disappointed though not surprised by Whoopi and Sherri’s response. They like Chris Rock would defend their own (not as comic) regardless. There is no excuse for TM, he lives and work in NYC surrounded by gays, he knows better. He thought he could get away with it because he was in TN which adds insult to small town folks. He’s making all these gestures of apologies not because he’s sorry; he’s sorry because he was called out. His press release was written by someone else, he can’t even speak half as well. I hope he gets fired from 30 Rock and not get any job for a long time to come.

  • nambridge

    i am sorry to say that i will not watch anything thant mr. morgan is on, guest star or otherwise, and will not see any comedy shows he does and will ask my friends not to see him either. that comment was uncalled for given what has happened in society today

  • tiffany

    again with the blacks versus gays business? i’ll say it again: not every black man is raging homophobe. full stop.

    such a statement:

    1. erases gay black men.
    2. suggests that white men are incapable of being virulently homophobic (see: the recent blake shelton controversy; much of the GOP).
    3. is untrue.

    tracy morgan is an idiot. he is not all black men.

    bravo on the how-to guide though. let’s add “and don’t do it again.” tracy morgan’s bigger problem is that he’s said this (at least) twice. it’s a pattern with him.

  • Josh6852

    We as a community pushing equal rights for ALL need to make our voices heard NOW and encourage celebrities and politicians through TWITTER- FACEBOOK- EMAIL-…ETC. that they need to speak up when its not convenient to advance their careers…..You accept our hard earned money and go to our award shows and preach tolerance and standing up to bullies….Time to STAND UNITED in the fight for Equal Rights…. Tina Fey and 30 rock have received many awards from GLAAD….NO MORE LIP SERVICE- ACTION NOW…You use free speech Mr. Morgan as a front to spew hate…. Now its time to pay the piper….. The grip that GLAAD has on Tracy’s balls needs to be tighter. The AA community has been letting this sh@t fly for way to long. Where is all the AA outrage for “STABBING IS NI@@ER SON”. Imagine if Lisa Lampanelli said ” If I get pregnant, I pray when it shoots out my muff cabbage it’s a white baby, because if it’s a NI@@ER baby I will stab it.” Wonder what Whoopi and Sherri would say on The View? Double Standard.

  • Sebastian

    @nambridge
    Agreed but I am proud to say that I will not watch anything of Mr Morgan’s vile routines and anything and anyone who afiliates with that said Mr Morgan!

  • Fitz

    I am so pissed at TM, and I am NOT there with “turn the other cheek”, especially because queer kids already go through too much. Black queer kids even worse. BUT… we need to have some mechanism within ourselves for accepting that people can grow up. I don’t know that he has, or ever will– I am just saying that we will never win people over to love and humanism if we can’t allow people to draw a line around their past.

  • Queer Supremacist

    @Josh6852: There is NO WAY Lisa Lampanelli will ever have a white baby. Her whole act revolves around:

    A) Having sex with black men.
    B) Being a bitch.

    She also gave $44,000 to Gay Men’s Health Crisis, so she’s our bitch.

    @tiffany: Some gay black men have defended black homophobes even though they hate gay blacks just as much as gay whites. Thankfully, others have not. Saying “whites do it too” is a way to dodge the issue.

    Meanwhile, where’s the child welfare office in Hollywood?

  • Josh6852

    Tracey also said…..”If you can take a d@ck in your a@@, you can take a joke”. “MR. Morgan, you’re the biggest(ONLY)black dick I’ve had near my ass.”

  • meego

    It doesn’t matter of you’re black, white, purple or polkadot! Homophobia is homophobia, plain and simple. This defending him/turn the other cheek crap ain’t working. Fire this asshole! No more slaps on the wrist. Anybody who’s been around will know that slaps on the wrist have little or no effect. There’s a saying in french : aux grands maux, les grands remedes. In other words, big problems require big solutions. Fire him!

  • Elloreigh

    One point of quasi-disagreement: “And for God’s sake don’t go to rehab. Rehab for homophobia? Really?! Lame.”

    Perhaps not rehab per se, but do get some counseling (or at least do some intense soul searching) to understand why you went on a homophobic rant and to deal with the attending issues. Saying your sorry and doing all this community service/outreach won’t necessarily make the underlying issues that led to your outburst/tirade go away.

  • mikeandrewsdantescove

    I was a fan of Tracy Morgan. Stabbing his son for being gay is unforgiveable.
    Mike
    Alist New York – Season 2 Trailer
    http://sfholidays.blogspot.com

  • ArtNYC

    @ArtNYC: @Queer Supremacist:

    Lisa Lampanelli married a white guy.

    Stabbing anybody, especially one own son, over anything has no place in society, not even in comedy.

  • VinciSmetana

    *More sounds of glass houses shattering*

    Anyhow, on a separate note …

    @ZT

    Towle censored comments made by black gays. I’m not sure that runs in synch with your post #3. It’s not exactly in keeping with the rainbow.

  • Josh

    this pathetic sack of s@#t, is just that a sad, pitiful, lowly pathetic, scum sucking douchbag sack of s@#t, just like the frigid bovine, jabba the hutt looking, scum sucker mags gallagher, the pathetic no life loser perkins, the pile of frothy toxic waste santorum, the sad sack of dried up crap bryan fissure, and fred phelps, and that fat sack waste of a oxygen, and water matt barber, and everyone like them.
    These people are the lowest of pond scum, nothing more than dog s@#t on society’s shoe, and a example of the worst of humanity, and civilation.
    They use God, and Jesus as a weapon of hate, defamation, discrimination,murder, violence, bigotry, and destruction. How any of these losers can call themselves christian is beyond me, because they dont follow Jesus, that’s for certain, maybe jeebus, but NOT Jesus. They all should be locked up in a asylum as being dangerous to the global community, which they are.

  • stephen

    @Josh6852….oh josh, just say it, you hate black men and this is a perfect opportunity to justify your hatred. Just a question though, do you hate specifically assumed straight black men, or do you hate gay black men as well.

  • Trelindtr

    Sounds like the perfect PR plan to me…

  • VinciSmetana

    @Josh

    Sounds like Jesus doesn’t play a role in your life either.

  • Josh6852

    @stephen….. Don’t hate black men….. Just don’t want to sleep with them…… Many of my friends look black….. from a distance.

  • Dave

    Yeah. I am a fan of TM. I don’t condone violence in no shape or form but I know TM was joking. I know he didn’t mean it literally. I believe in freedom of speech.

  • ThankGod

    @tiffany:

    Your response is rare: rational and logic.

  • Josh6852

    Who is still using the word FA@@OT?????

    1. Comedians unable to be funny, clever or witty on their own intellect
    2. 40 yr old queens still behaving like 13 yr old girls
    3. GOP
    4. Rappers and Athletes
    6. Most Black Out Drunks

    Civilized people realize using this word in any forum spreads hate, whether you had intentions of doing so, you plant the seed or you fertilize other peoples ignorance.

  • MattGMD

    Why don’t the hate-mongering allegedly-hetero religious ones respond like the sports and entertainers do when called out on anti-gay incidents?

  • jeff4justice

    It’s amazing how my fellow gay brothers and sisters want all the empathy and understanding in the world from anti-gays of faith (with their deeply held beliefs) and we want them to be open to understanding but when someone F’s up like Morgan, some of you act like he needs to be crucified.

    Be grateful that he’s open to learning, dialoging, and acknowledging he was wrong.

    I empathize with my LGBT brothers/sisters who are so consumed by hurt and resentment that they cannot be open to forgiveness.

  • bob

    I don’t see how violence is funny at all. But then, TM never did make me laugh.

  • Mimi

    Just the regular run of the mill Gay Racists on here I see.

    I dont think black people know how hateful gays are towards them or you would have alot more to complain about than what some celebrity had to say in his standup routine.

  • Rocky

    @Josh6852: I hope your friends aren’t BIGOTS like you are. BIGOT!

  • Rocky

    @Queer Supremacist: No, Its just pointing out White gay BIGOTRY! BIGOT!

  • ewe

    @jeff4justice: You are the confused one. What makes you think “your” gay brothers and sisters want empathy and understanding from a homophobic bigot? I want equality. I want it to be law. I could give a fuck if an ignorant Tracy Morgan remains stupid. This is just one more of many orchestrated assaults on gay people. There is nothing for any gay person to forgive. If you put someone down i don’t have any accountability for you or your feelings and i certainly don’t have to forgive you. I would simply try to annihilate you nonviolently so you can’t do it again.

  • ewe

    @Rocky: Shut it Rocky. You sound like a broken record. You better get a new gig. Calling people bigots because they do not lock in step with your philosophy is childish ego.

  • Vinci S.

  • Ian

    I hate to admit it, but I am getting a small bit of satisfaction out of this whole story. I thought Tracy Morgan sucked long before this event. Truly, he just sucks and no one in the biz (or on 30 Rock, etc) can say anything. Now we’ve seen a bit of true colors from this not-so-talented comic. Good riddance.

  • Ian

    P.S. Vinci S., you are a hottie. 🙂

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