BUST A MOVE

How You Dance Determines Whether You’re A Top Or A Bottom

How many times have you admired a cute guy at the bar or club and thought: Hmmm. I wonder if that dude’s a top or a bottom?

Determining a man’s preferred position in the bedroom based solely on his physical appearance can be next to impossible. Sometimes the bottomest seeming bottom will surprise you by saying he’s a top. Or a guy you swear is a total top will leave you completely dumbfounded when he admits he loves being penetrated.

But according to blue-eyed British vlogger/anthropologist John Bird, a gay man’s preferred position can be decoded by closely observing the way he moves on the dance floor.

“Some people actually believe that they can tell a person’s ‘position’ from their gyrations,” says Bird.

Bottoms, he explains, use “smooth hip movements” not dissimilar to “a mating call,” whereas tops either don’t dance, dance extremely badly, or do so in a “very typical macho way.”

Watch Bird’s informative video, complete with dance move demonstrations, below.

Related stories:

Andy Cohen Is Definitely A Top, According To Anderson Cooper

Five Easy Yoga Poses To Make Power Bottoming More Enjoyable

STUDY: Young Men Suck At Sex, Bottoming Doesn’t Hurt, And 1 in 2 Guys Bareback

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated