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TRY A LITTLE FREDDIE

Mika Is Gay, Finally

We hesitate to call it “coming out,” because, well, come on.

But for some reason, popstar Mika has always been a bit cagey about his personal life: “labels are the one thing that I’ve never agreed with — simply because I just don’t fit into them in my own personal life,” and “call me bisexual,” he’s said in the past, echoing Boy George 20 years ago.

But apparently he’s warming up to labels and cooling to ladies, at least according to an upcoming Instinct article. “If you ask me am I gay, I say yeah,” he tells the magazine. Oh, okay!

We are happy for you, Mika. Not just because it is nice to hear you talking unreservedly about your life, but also because this brings our fantasy of you making out with Rufus Wainwright one step closer to fruition. Now kiss!

By:           Benji Douglas
On:           Aug 4, 2012
Tagged: , , ,
  • 321 Comments
    • Darren
      Darren

      *Yawn* More biphobia and biphobic stereotypes/bisexual erasure from Queerty, what else is new?

      Aug 4, 2012 at 7:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geno
      Geno

      omfg! lmfao!! I’m shocked lol he always seemed so straih2 me. I kid ha ha

      Aug 4, 2012 at 7:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jaded
      jaded

      Only Clay Aiken and Ricky Martin’s coming out was less obvious and unnecessary.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 10:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Matt
      Matt

      Mika may be referencing Freddie Mercury with his lyrics “Try a little Freddie” but then again Freddie Mercury was bisexual and not gay; but this is old news since he was out as bisexual in the 70s.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Austine
      Austine

      Why do bisexual find it necessary to ridicule gays, in a quest to announce their bisexuality? You’re bisexual. Good for you. But you also come off very angry, hostile, and bitter toward the gay community. Your angers are misdirected as a majority of gays are far, far, FAR more embracing of bisexuality than 99% of heterosexuals. Go have an honest conversation about bisexuality with heterosexuals, and ask them to be brutally honest with you and wait for their response.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Carlos
      Carlos

      Austine-Actually most heterosexual people are a lot more understanding of bisexuality than the majority of gays or lesbians are. Quit trying to pretend that biphobia and bisexual erasure are not problems among gay men and lesbian women. I’m gay and I’ve noticed how a lot of my fellow G&L people are highly biphobic and do practice bisexual erasure.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Johansen
      Scott Johansen

      From my experiences, bisexual men have been some of the most anti gay individuals I and many people I know have met. The tension between the two communities is esecelating because bisexuals TRULY believe they are ‘better’ than gay people. It’s not enough to make it known you’re not bisexual, you have to proudly claim every bisexual as bisexual and if anyone dares incorrectly refer to them as gay, your collective responses are so vocal it easily suggests that there is something wrong with being gay.
      I’ve never met a bisexual who didn’t have a mouthful to say against the gay community.
      Well. guess what? when enough gay people hear bisexuals mouth off against them, they’ll resent you for it, and alienate you even more. You catch far more bees with honey, so don’t approach the gay community with ignorance and homophobia and demand they worship the ground you walk on because you’re bisexual. Life does not work like that.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BiTranswoman
      BiTranswoman

      Austin, let’s not forget that Gay people demand and preach equality and acceptance but practice segregation, bigotry, hate, and intolerance down to the tiniest details especially towards trans people, bisexuals, and LGBT people who are not white and rich.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BiTranswoman
      BiTranswoman

      Austin, let’s not forget that Gay people demand and preach equality and acceptance but practice segregation, bigotry, hate, and intolerance down to the tiniest details especially towards trans people, bisexuals, and LGBT people who are not white and rich.

      I wonder when the homosexist members of the LGBT movement will finally acknowledge that bisexuals and bisexuality exist, that our sexuality is as legitimate as theirs, and that the civil and human rights gains that have been made for LGBT people would not have been made without the involvement, commitment, hard work and sacrifice of bisexuals.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Latranda
      Latranda

      @Carlos: Actually, you’re just trying to project you’re own homophobia here while making blanket statements against gays. These are all cliche talking points (gays are more “biphobic” than heteros) no, most heteros are repulsed by bisexuals. An incredible large majority of women will not touch a bisexual men sexually. Trust me, I’m a lesbian who has many a straight female friends. And has had many throughout my life. The biggest no no within an overwhelming majority of straight women is dating a bi men. It’s perhaps a fetish scene for a small minority, but for many others, they will gladly tell you how off putting it is to them. Maybe not in mixed company, but TRUST, they will and do talk about it.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      WHAT DOES BIPHOBIA LOOK LIKE?

      * Assuming that everyone you meet is either heterosexual or homosexual.
      * Supporting and understanding a bisexual identity for young people because you identified “that way” before you came to your “real” lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity.
      * Expecting a bisexual to identify as heterosexual when coupled with the so called different gender/sex.
      * Believing bisexual men spread AIDS/HIV to heterosexuals.
      * Thinking bisexual people haven’t made up their minds.
      * Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities.
      * Assuming bisexuals would be willing to “pass” as anything other than bisexual.
      * Claiming that bisexuality in men and women is somehow rare or does not exist as a valid sexual orientation.
      * Assuming that bisexual men are usually or are always closeted gay men who haven’t come out, and that bisexual women are usually or are always closeted lesbians who have not accepted their sexuality.
      * Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights.
      * Automatically assuming romantic couplings of two women are lesbian, or two men are gay, or a man and a woman are heterosexual.
      * Expecting bisexual people to get services, information, and education from heterosexual service agencies for their “heterosexual side” (sic) and then go to gay and/or lesbian service agencies for their “homosexual side” (sic).
      * Feeling bisexuals just want to have their cake and eat it too.
      * Believing that bisexual women spread AIDS/HIV to lesbians.
      * Using the terms “phase” or “stage” or “confused” or “fence-sitter” or “bisexual” or “AC/DC” or “switch-hitter” as slurs or in an accusatory way.
      * Thinking bisexuals only have committed relationships with so called different sex/gender partners.
      * Looking at a bisexual person and automatically thinking of their sexuality rather than seeing them as a whole, complete person.
      * Assuming that bisexuals, if given the choice, would prefer to be in an different gender/sex coupling to reap the social benefits of a so-called “heterosexual” pairing [sic].
      * Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual.
      * Assuming bisexual means “available.”
      * Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.
      * Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual friend about their lover or whom they are dating only when that person is the “same” sex/gender.
      * Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.
      * Feeling that you can’t trust a bisexual because they aren’t really gay or lesbian, or aren’t really heterosexual.
      * Expecting a bisexual to identify as gay or lesbian when coupled with the “same” sex/gender.
      * Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (i.e. HIV/AIDS, violence, basic civil rights, fighting the Right, military, same-sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.) and to prioritize the visibility of so called “lesbian and/or gay” issues.
      * Claiming that bisexuals somehow undermine the rights of gays/lesbians, or are not for gay/lesbian rights politically.
      * Avoid mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual or working with a bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual.
      * Calling a relationship or marriage between two people of the same gender a gay/lesbian relationship or gay/lesbian marriage.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jackson
      Jackson

      @Carlos: BULL! Go talk to some straight men and see what they have to say about bisexuality. Just a warning, it won’t be pretty. Heterosexuals don’t have issues with being gay as much as being bisexual. That’s a fact, and sugar coating it to make yourself feel better won’t make it any different.
      Heterosexuals see bisexuality as a threat, both societal and *health* wise. Homosexuality isn’t infectious to them or harmful for most, but they view bisexuality as a catalyst to spreading disease. Yeah, MOST feel that way and WILL tell you when pressed. Don’t even play. If anything, it could be argued you’re homophobic for making generalizations that paint gays as one way, when infact straights are just as resposible for your claims if not wayyy more so. You’re blinded by your homophobia.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Barry
      Barry

      Scott Johansen-If you want to be biphobic bigot that’s your problem; but you’re just as bad as Rick Santorum, the Bachmanns, Herman Cain, and Rev. Fred Phelps and his Westboro klan. You’re so bigoted you can’t even see it. That’s fine.

      For the record, I will say that I firmly believe that ALL biphobic people are WRONG WRONG WRONG and bigoted. Its a shame that people who KNOW what its like to be discriminated against would discriminate this way against others. It’s evil and as I said before it’s just as bad as homophobia is.

      Bipho­bic gay men such as yourself should stop inval­i­dat­ing the per­sonal sex­u­al­ity of bisexual men that is not that of gay/homosexual despite how much you wish that I was really gay/homosexual. I’ll believe myself, my experiences with my own bisexuality, and the studies of Dr. Alfred Kinsey and Dr. Fritz Klein over some over some self righteous queen like yourself who is a bigot.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Biwoman
      Biwoman

      Jackson what’s your point? Gays and lesbians also see bisexuality as a threat, both to social things and health wise; but they’re blinded by their biphobia.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Art Smith
      Art Smith

      Here’s what I often notice about bisexuals, and can absolutely sympathize with the frustration a great number of gays have with them.

      They will constantly and consistently paint all gay people with one brush, a negative brush, a highly critical brush where they insult the entire community with sweeping generalizations, but when someone makes the slightest comment, like an above poster mentioned..calling a bisexual person out of their sexuality by accident, it’s suddenly a hearing for how ignorant the gay community is.

      The gay community has the same ability to be observant as the bi community, and the gay community has been equally observant of hurtful, generalized, ignorant digs aimed at them by bisexuals on a regular basis on here. And from my observations, gays have requested the double standard be examined. It hasn’t. Bi folks continue to proudly paint gays, and white gays, and priviliged gays as this that and the third, in the same breath they demand you not generalize them. How could you NOT take note of the hypocrisy there? Of course the gay community will eventually be fed up with that. Everyone is required the same respect they give, and sitting on the side-lines critical of every move gays make, while you believe you’re above that is the epitome of hypocritical.

      We all need to have moments of reflection.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Max the Communist
      Max the Communist

      Only time will tell whether Mika is gay or whether he’s having a Cynthia Nixon moment–calling himself gay because bisexual identification doesn’t get him much respect.

      Aug 4, 2012 at 11:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jack
      Jack

      Excuse me Art Smith? Who are you as a white gay man to speak for ALL gays or lesbians? Check your privilege. I’m black and gay and I can’t tell you the number of ra cist white gay men who I’ve met who are both rich and poor. Yes there is a lot of biphobia within the so called GLBT “community” and I agree that gays and lesbians who are biphobic, practice bisexual erasure, and who are ra_cist are just as bad as Conservative politicians and Rev. Phelps.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • USC Trojans Fan
      USC Trojans Fan

      I don’t have a general indifference or disdain toward bisexuality at all.

      But…

      I do absolutely resent the heavily promoted notion in the bi community that we’re all bi, and most gay males are bi, and we’re too closed minded to experience with women, and we’re boxing ourselves. It’s so infuriating, it’s beyond offensive. When we respond to being told who WE are and who we find appealing, we’re told a myriad of more offensive psycho babble and ultimately called biphobic. It’s almost as though some bisexuals are picking a fight. If you’re looking to offend people, don’t be offended by them being offended.

      Don’t dictate to people who they inherently are, even when they tell you they are not. That is inexcusable. In virtually dozens upon dozens of threads on this site regarding bisexuality, you’ll witness bisexuals in droves telling gay people how they are not really gay. No, you don’t get to decide that for us, and the moment you do, prepare yourself for a -well deserved- enslaught of disection and criticism yourselves.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Steve-ATL
      Steve-ATL

      @USC Trojans Fan: And do said bisexuals ever have the courage to challenge straight men on their sexuality? have you seen bisexuals go to a straight sports bar and shout down at a group of straight men how they are all really repressed bisexuals and don’t know it? Nah. you’ll never see them do that. it’s more of a p-ssy move to come and tell gays they need to sleep with the opposite sex and give us a lecture. and you’re right, it won’t always end pretty. I saw a bi dude get a major beat down at a gay bar for giving patrons the tired ‘you’re all really bi and don’t know it’ schpeel. at a certain point, ur attempts to school gays on sleeping with women is actually your vieled homophobia and gay people don’t need to stand for it when they already got enough people telling them who they should be.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mark
      Mark

      Trojans fan-Then don’t practice biphobia and bisexual erasure towards bisexual men and women, or claim that when we come out as bisexual that we don’t know about our sexual orientation, that we’re lying/confused, closeted gay/lesbian, or that bisexuality is rare/doesn’t exist, etc.

      I’ve been told a large number of times by both gay men and lesbians that “Oh you’re really a lesbian!”, “You’re young you’ll eventually come out as gay!”, “No you’re straight and confused!” when I tell people I’m bisexual since that’s my sexual orientation.

      The worst kept secret of the so called “Gay world” is that there are a lot of bisexuals who identify as gay or lesbian despite being bisexual, and they do so for the reasons why Max the Communist wrote about.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mark
      Mark

      That should read, “You’re really gay.” in my previous post.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mark
      Mark

      That should read, told that “Oh you’re really gay!.” in my previous post.

      My bisexual female friends have gotten A LOT of biphobia from gay men and lesbians and the one bi female friend went to our LGBT group when we were in college together and was told to her face, “Come back to the LGBT center when you realize that you’re a lesbian! This center is not for you!” the thing is she’s not lesbian at all she’s bisexual.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Steve-ATL
      Steve-ATL

      @Barry: You claimed we as gays WISHED you were gay and not bisexual? That’s some straight up homophobic BS right there and *exactly* the kind of arrogance and hypocicy posters above are mentioning they experience from bisexuals.
      NO we don’t wish you bisexual men were gay. We don’t have a shortage of attractive gay men. Go be with women, gays won’t cry over it. You want us to all want you. Sorry boo, not everyone wants to be with a bisexual. Nor is there a law mandating we should. That quote about how gays WISH you bisexuals were gay is about the most arrogant, homophobic, ignorant thing I’ve read on this topic. You lived right into bi arrogance.
      Insecurity isn’t cute. And while we’re at it, since you’re convinced most gays want you bisexuals to be gay and wish for it to come true, not a single one of my vast circle of gay friends would date a bisexual. Not a one of them. So don’t get it twisted thinking we all want you. It’s kinda sadly the exact opposite. Sorry to be so blunt.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Paul
      Paul

      SteveATL-Speak for yourself. As a bisexual man I have spoken to hetero guys and told them about bisexuality. No I don’t go around telling them that they’re really bisexual but I don’t do the same to gays or lesbians so stop claiming that all bisexuals do this.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BreezeLover
      BreezeLover

      If we’re going to get REALLY real here. A good majority of homophobia faced by the gay community is directly from bisexuals, especially bisexual men who are convinced they are far better than gay men and more acceptable. It all comes across pompous. And in a most technical manner, being bisexual means you are granted more rights than a gay person, and depending on whom you eventually fall in love with…you can very well be afforded full equal rights for it. Gay people are not extended that equality. And from my many personal experiences, bisexuals couldn’t care less. I’ve noticed anywhere from an indifference to an outright resent of gay rights from bisexuals. Sorry but if you are unwilling to extend the same level of empathy, in a most fragile time for the gay community, and intentionally go out of your way to not care about their issues and concerns, then you don’t deserve the same back. What I notice from many bisexuals is they first want to be respected and honored for being bisexual, THEN they’ll consider actively involving themselves toward issues that concern the gay community. Homophobia is a pillar of the bisexual community, whether it’s realized or not. I do believe the blame could be shared, but from many years of personal experience, I also think bisexuals truly view themselves as better because the thinking is “it could be worse…I could be full blown gay.”

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mark In Colorado
      Mark In Colorado

      There are a whole shit load of latent bisexuals masquerading around as gay men because they are ignorant of the fact that bisexual doesn’t only mean an equal attraction to both genders or they’re too scared to admit it because they’ve invested so much of their time and energy cultivating a gay identity.

      There are some gay men like SteveATL and others who are highly bigoted towards bisexual men. Just like there are some lesbians who dislike bisexual women and trans women. These factors are also reasons why men and women who are bisexual yet call themselves gay or lesbian do not want to come out.

      The dirty little secret that never gets addressed in the so called “gay” world is the fact that many gay men do go through a second coming out and re-identify as bisexual. These men may still overwhelmingly prefer men, but their orientation and identity are not exclusively towards men and they’re sexually attracted to both women and men. And how their attraction to both sexes manifests differently as well. The ridiculous protest that “sexual attraction to a woman just happened that one time, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s not going to happen again!” belies the fact if you really were a gay man you wouldn’t have been turned on by a woman in the first place and to now assume that it would never happen again defies basic logic.

      It’s always weird to be corrected by someone (e.g., Steve-ATL) who is wrong in their knowledge of a subject. I’ve found that if you dare to even allude to someone not being not quite “gay” (in other words bisexual) then you get the typical apoplectic reaction–oh no, no, no, he’s gay, he’s definitely gay, absolutely, no question about it, and on and on and on. As a gay man I’ve noticed that so many gay men are so fucking bi-phobic it’s unreal–and it’s usually because they don’t understand the concept in the first place and they’ve made no attempt to do so.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BiWoman
      BiWoman

      Breeze Lover-*Yawn* Oh the usual “bisexuals get hetero privilage and can easily hide/pass as hetero and even marry!” biphobia bullshit. Quit being a professional victim.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kyle L.
      Kyle L.

      Some of the most anti fem comments on various gay blogs come from bisexuals. The most hurtful, deamening comments targetting naturally feminine gay men come from bisexuals. The most ignorant remarks about lesbians who happen to be innately butch come from bisexuals. To even pretend otherwise is to tell the gay community to put their heads in the sand. I believe the gay community is far more willing to embrace the symbols of our rainbow flag and what it represents than the bisexual community who sorta align themselves more with heteros and being hetro than they do with LGBT. They have that right. But what they don’t have the right to do is demonize our somewhat non conformist gays, be it fem gay men or butch lesbians, and tell them how to behave or put them down for who they are. I’ve seen it wayyy too often, and still see it today. I agree with another person who said, if bisexuals are gonna dish it, and make fun of fem gays, then they aren’t immune from hearing some bashing themselves.
      It’s our identifiable gays, yeah the feme ones, who are committing suicide in highschools across the country. The bisexual response was “man up. act like a man and you won’t get teased” well, then that makes bisexuals no less homophobic and bigoted than the worst schoolyard bully.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Barry
      Barry

      Steve no it’s not LMAO ‘homophobia’ to say that a lot of gay men are highly biphobic and really do want bisexual men like me to be gay. If I had $1 from the large number of gay men I’ve met who are biphobic and who when I tell them how I’m bisexual say “Oh you’re lying, closeted, or confused about your sexuality you’re really gay!” or who have said “Bisexual men are just closeted gay men who are afraid to come out!” I’d be very rich.

      http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2009/04/28/bisexuals-musto-be-gay/

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Femme gay man
      Femme gay man

      Kyle-Who cares? Bisexuals as a whole do not align themselves more with heterosexuals to claim this is biphobia. Plus if you REALLY want to see femmephobia you’ll get TONS of that from gay men and femme lesbians who show vitriol towards butch lesbians.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • USC Trojans Fan
      USC Trojans Fan

      @BiWoman: BiWoman, you have some nerve to tell gay people to put up and shut up and not play victim when you’re entire narrative, post, commentary derives from playing victim, and highlighting being a bisexual trans. You’re just calculating enough to convince yourself that because you yell louder that you’re entitled to more ears, hearts and sympathy. All the while, you’ve attempted to show zero mutual level of sympathy or respect for gays, and even went as far as to tell US not to play victim. You and your ilk won’t make any friends with that thought process. You aren’t entitled to more sympathy and ears because you’re so narcassitic and egocentric that you’ve convinced yourself you’re worthy of more sympathy. You’re not. And we’ll gladly remind you of it again and again and again. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 2Dads
      2Dads

      @BiWoman: Huh? because you’re bisexual you’re the only one worthy of being persecuted? and you’re claiming we are playing victim? Seriously, I’ve defended bisexuals and transgenders before, but you really are insufferable and I can tell you first hand, people like you do more to drive diplomatic people like me, who are gay and can be on your side, away from you much more so than you do anything to make someone like me have understanding for you. People like you just make me more proud to be gay, and more whatever about what you’re going through, precisley because you made clear you couldn’t give two ishh what gays are going through.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BiWoman
      BiWoman

      Like I’m supposed to care what a gay bigoted biphobe thinks?

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lazycrockett
      Lazycrockett

      Congrads to Mika, though this thread was never even bout him.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Martin
      Martin

      Typical responses of gay men and lesbians who are biphobic, “GAY IS GOOD!” But bisexuality is something to be feared, it’s too close to heterosexuality, it’s too confusing, and all the other biphobic BS that gets said about us bisexuals.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MortonTX
      MortonTX

      @BiWoman: Wait, wait, wait then why are WE supposed to care what a HOMOPHOBIC (and you are) self entitled, bigoted, passionate homophobe who happens to be trans, and demands she’s entitled to be a homophobic bigot because she’s trans, thinks? You really are the most hypocritical visitor I’ve seen write on this blog. I agree with others.
      and yeah, I’ll stick my neck out and say there is a clear smug self importance the bi posters are displaying here and are not even willing to consider the emotions or sentiments of any gay poster responding to them. You kinda don’t win any fans over to you’re side when you bash their rebuttals every chance you get. You’ll basically just further alienate them.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Josh D
      Josh D

      @Scott Johansen:

      So bitter, man.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Larry
      Larry

      Given all the biphobia and bigotry that bisexuals are getting from gay men and lesbians both here and in the larger LGBT (should be called GGGG) community, why should bisexuals want anything to do with bigoted biphobic gays and lesbians?

      Hell I’m gay and I don’t want anything to do with gay men or lesbians like this, especially the ones that are the first to show “homophobe!” at anyone (even other gay men like myself) who dares criticize gay men or lesbians and say how yes there is a lot of biphobia among gay men and lesbians.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Larry
      Larry

      LMAO I agree Josh Scott J. and the other biphobic gay men on this thread/blog are jaded and bitter!

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Global Hindu
      Global Hindu

      It fascinating to see bisexuals throw the word biphobic around so flippantly, yet let’s observe some anecdotes on this site:

      Who do you think is responsible for the cynical bashing, berating and belittling of every gay related post on here? bisexuals.

      Who do you think is the one slamming gay public figures, gay artists, always sneaking in homophobic jabs in the comments section on here, and generally always leaving a negative comment about anything to do with gay men and lesbians? bisexuals.

      Who do you think always has an opinion on how gay men should act, and how lesbians should look, and isn’t very fond of anyone who strays out of the gender nuetral norms? bisexuals.

      And if you ever had any doubt about any of the above, just read their responses above about the gay community as a whole tells you exactly who is behind those repitive and catty posts against gays in every article on here. The puzzles been solved: it’s the bitter bisexuals on here who camp out on these blogs slamming gays in every post just to feel more validated as a people. Well, karma exists, and you’re karma see’s exactly what you’re doing to our people (anonymousley might I add): karma.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Larry
      Larry

      Hindu-Give me a break. It’s not all, mostly, or only bisexuals who do this. The majority of cynical, jaded, and bashing posts on here are made by gay men and lesbians the old saying is true “We love to eat our own!”.

      I’m a lot older than most posters here and I’ve seen the so called gay and lesbian community do this for decades towards other gays and lesbians, and to bisexuals.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jennie-Lia
      Jennie-Lia

      It’s not out of line for gays to draw attention to homophobia they’ve experienced within the bi community. It’s actually vital if not helpful in realizing why and where some bi phobia stems from. To break down the psychology of it all. It doesn’t make sense for gays and lesbians to be biphobic, but it does make sense for bisexuals to be homophobic, and by make sense I mean the psyhcology of why it would occur. Bisexuals can have a sense of supremacy in that they may feel they are more self respecting and respected than gays. With that comes a sense of privilige. Realized or not, that may get projected. We’re not individually perfect and less so collectively. To deny that bisexuals have in past forms shown a sense of superior attitudes toward gays is misleading. Which leads me to believe that could be where a great portion of the divide comes from. From what I’ve gathered in speaking to gays I know, bisexuals want to approach the gay community with a sense of superiority and also not care too much to hear about the struggles the gay community faces in society, in politics, in their lives. That breeds resentment. I think both sides can do a more effective job of communicating. Just my two cents worth.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • anoutherday
      anoutherday

      I see that the biphobics are back and I am very tempted to engage in some back lash rhetoric.

      I am one of those bisexuals that supposedly was really gay because I ended in a gay LTR.
      I am not gay just because I am with a same sex partner. I look at women and it still makes me excited. If I was not with the love of my life I just might ended up with a woman. But I am with the love of my life and I have no desire to stray and hurt my love. It is really simple, I am in love, I do not wish to risk that love, so I do not cheat. Just like you folks who are gay are capable of not fucking every one that turns you on, so are bisexuals.

      Bisexual is not a phase. Gays claiming they went through a bisexual phase is what propagates the meme. If gay folks would be brave out the gate and not lie about being gay, be chickenshits, and cowards just to make it easier on themselves then us bisexuals wouldn’t have to deal with that crap.

      The gay men and lesbians who pose as bisexual at first are where you keep geting that false idea that bisexuals are not real.

      Perhaps gay men and lesbians are so anti bisexual because they do not like the idea of competeing with women and men for the affections of a potential lover.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jon
      Jon

      @Scott Johansen: Scott, I’ve noticed the EXACT same thing. My problem with bisexual men is that most of them think they’re better than fully gay men, as if that makes them more “masculine” or some sh1t like that. I’ve also noticed a degree of self-loathing from most of them too and they seem angry at everyone and everything.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nick
      Nick

      Jennie-Lia -Sooo it’s somehow fine and OK for gays to go on about so called “homophobia”. Yet when a bisexual person calls out a gay person about being biphobic we’re lying, mistaken, should just STFU, oh and we should be quiet because we get hetero privilege and all use it against gays and lesbians! Got it! You’re biphobic and your post shows it.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SunshineStar
      SunshineStar

      I don’t know, I actually think there may be something to Global Hidus theory that some of the harsh tones in comments I’ve been noticing in virtually every gay oriented article on here could be coming from the bi camp. I of course could not at all confirm one way or the other, but you can tell a great deal about writing styles and the writing style and general tone of the bisexual posters and their animosity toward, it seems, all gays looks really familiar to a lot of articles here where the same tone and animosity is thrown at any and all gay subject matters. I genuinly hope that’s not the case, but I’ve been reading bisexuals make way too many blanket statements about the gay community and in way too harsh manners to not think they equally throw out alot of shade themselves, but have the luxury of hiding behind a handle and pretending to be one of us. That would really be a shame, because anger leads to ignorance and that accomplish nothing. There’s way too much anger between both parties, and neither can claim the other is fully at fault, because it’s simply not true.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nick
      Nick

      SunshineStar-Gays make blanket statements about bisexuals and the bisexual community all the time here on queerty and other sites.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TJ
      TJ

      Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and hump on the bandwagon. If there’s this many bisexuals visiting this site, then Ima go ahead and assume they are behind some of these vicious homophobic remarks we’ve been seeing on various stories on here. It’s left a good majority of us gays puzzled, and we just chalked it up as hetero haters trolling here, but nah. I knew most hetero haters come and bounce. I suspected it could be angry bisexuals behind the angry, and often ignorant homophobia posted in the comments on here, and know what? Ima take a shot and say it is probably them.
      And if you bisexuals are behind the hyper criticizing of us, our weddings, how we respond to bigotry, our kiss ins, our styles, and taste in music…well I hope you DO get a taste of your own medicines. and I hope it’s BITTER too, so you can see what it’s like to throw shade out. And I know y’all do too.
      I’m a black gay man who has performed in drag and in the club circuit in drag, we allll know the most shade we get is from the bisexual boos who are too cute and manly to be seen near it. generally, heteros can have fun with it, gays can appreciate a camp drag, but not for my race, nor my sexuality have I gotten more shade than I have from bisexuals. That sht stays with someone.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Larry
      Larry

      TJ so your answer is to be hateful towards bisexuals, then again you’re a drag queen so this isn’t surprising that you’d like to throw shade and hate on everyone.

      As I wrote earlier most homophobia comes from other gay men and lesbians since we love to eat our own. I’ve been out since 1969 and I’ve seen gay men and lesbians do this to each other and to bisexuals for decades.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Simone
      Simone

      I’ve had four very close bisexual friends in my life, whom I shared their friendship with other close friends, and there really was a disheartening trend in each that I picked up on- and judging by other posters personal experiences- I may not be alone there. In each case, I was more than encouraging, understanding and fully respectful of the person being bisexual. Completely supportive, willing to learn, and always respect. I RESPECT ALL. I pride myself in respecting all. My other gay friends respected each of them. We’d actually take part in social gatherings geared toward bisexuals in the community. One of the friends had a chapter in our community center dealing with bi issues. My gay friends and I attended, even helped on various occasions. When the time came to return the favor, a mutual level of respect and appreciation if you will, in each case the bisexual friend didn’t show much interest in getting involved in gay related causes. Even when the discussion about struggles faced by gay community came up, which were rare, the response back was anywhere from indifference to outright lack of support for gay rights. When pressed on it, I had two of them infer that gay people were asking for special rights and stepping on the toes of heterosexuals. It was startling, hurtful and yes, eye opening.

      Yes, they were only four friends, four extremely close friends at the time, but in comparing notes with other gay friends, they too have experienced an almost indignation toward the gay communities struggles and hearing about them. Is that to say all bisexual people are like this? hardly. There are many who are extremely considerate. But it’s also discouraging to meet many who just don’t care to nor want to grasp what it means to be gay in America, and the trials that come with that. When someone approaches you with indifference, based on human nature alone, it’s hard to not feel indifferent back.

      All I will say is, and this truly comes from a good place of wanting to heal the relationships, I hope when the bi community is in the presence of the gay community, they would do more to focus on our similarities as a community; to which there are a plethora. Instead of consistently highlighting the differences, or approaching us as the “nuetral voice of reason between gays and straights” …we don’t always want to be educated on how to be better gays, we sometimes just want you to listen and be a friend, and you’ll see we’ll be able to often offer the same in return.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RobertUK
      RobertUK

      Gays and lesbians who are responding to bisexual posters with biphobia are hypocrites.

      There’s nothing wrong with someone being bisexual.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:37 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Athletic Fan
      Athletic Fan

      Wow, reading the level of ignorance against the gay community by so called “victimized” bisexuals is startling.

      The bisexuals in the comments have so far made incredibly racist and hateful remarks about ALL white gay men. Every single one of them.
      The bisexuals on here then make generalizations about feminine gays above.
      The bisexuals on here slam drag queens, and say it’s not surpring someone who does drag hates everyone.
      Hate? Seriously, I haven’t seen so much double standard and hypocrisy on any website by any group in my life. You’re demanding respect in the same posts you are badgering white people, white gay men, fem gays, and drag queens? and you expect to find support?

      I actually feel very happy the bisexuals on here spewing such ignorance do get met with loads of isolation and discrimination. Considering the hate in your own hearts, it’s well deserved, and I’ve mark it as karma. Enjoy it.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oasis Club
      Oasis Club

      Wow, reading the level of ignorance against the gay community by so called ‘victimized’ bisexuals is startling.

      The bisexuals in the comments have so far made incredibly rac ist and hateful remarks about ALL white gay men. So ignorant.
      The bisexuals on here then make generalizations about feminine gays above.
      The bisexuals on here slam drag performers, and say it’s not surpring someone who does drag hates everyone.
      Hate? Seriously, I haven’t seen so much double standard and hypocrisy on any website by any group in my life. You’re demanding respect in the same posts you are badgering white people, white gay men, fem gays, and drag performers? and you expect to find support?

      I actually feel very happy the bisexuals on here spewing such ignorance do get met with loads of isolation and discrimination. Considering the hate in your own hearts, it’s well deserved, and I’ve mark it as karma. Enjoy it.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Falls Church, VA
      Falls Church, VA

      My issue? bisexuals need to stop standing on the side lines coaching ~i.e scolding~ gay people how to ‘properly’ respond to homophobia. And yeah, you do it way too frequently for your own good. Bisexuals have all kinds of opinions on why the gay community goes wrong, our activism, why we don’t deserve equality, dissecting our reason to fight, dissecting how we organize, question why we even organize in some cases and not just “put up” with homophobia as a “difference of opinion” and they sure are opinionated on it all. Yet when push comes to shove, and the relentles efforts of gay activists are a success, guess who is first in line savoring the results? Yup, bisexuals. Even though they generally don’t even believe homophobia exists and couldn’t care less about doing a darn thing to combat it.
      Yeah, the gay community can and is just as observant as you all are. You’re not the only ones taking note of an unconcern. We see it just as much in you all when it comes to who we are and our movement.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Luke
      Luke

      As a gay man I could be one of your typical biphobic f a g g o t s like you see above who blame all of their issues on bisexuals but that would be pointless. Idiots like Hindu and OasisClub, and others who are biphobic gay men and who are truly disgusting people.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:11 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Luke
      Luke

      Oasis Club the only hate here is from biphobic gay men like yourself, Falls Church VA, and others. Keep on preaching your hate bigoted hypocrites.

      I agree that there’s nothing wrong with anyone being bisexual.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Datu Man
      Datu Man

      @Luke: Luke? who are you trying to fool. You’re as bi as bi gets. So many of the bisexuals above pretending to be gay. Man up, stop trying to role play. Sign your messages as bisexual, not “as a gay person…” Puuhlease.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Luke
      Luke

      Datu, Oasis, Hindu stop posting under other names and sock puppets.

      I’m a Kinsey 6/gay and I shouldn’t have to explain that to you. Quit projecting your own hate and prejudice about bisexuals onto everyone.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Samba-Experto 1982
      Samba-Experto 1982

      Are the bisexuals here even willing to listen to some of the valid points being made by gay people? It sure doesn’t seem like it. All I’m hearing in sheepish group think is
      “I’m the victim of biphobia!”

      “biphobic!”

      “You’re biphobic”

      Stop shouting the same thing. The word is starting to completely lose it’s luster on this thread when the points being labeled “biphobic” are hardly that at all. I’d reckon, some of the reasoning the many gay readers provided above for the friction between bisexuals are well thought out and valid. Maybe you should listen to them, and have a civil dialogue instead of sheepishly screaming “Waaa! biphobia! BIPHOBIC!” people are going to tune that mess out, and you’ll accomplish nothing.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      Larry I agree I’ve been out as gay since 1980 and it’s true that we gay men and lesbians are our own worst enemy and that we love to bash other gays and lesbians, and a lot of bisexuals and trans people get treated like shit by bigoted gay men and lesbians.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Maggie
      Maggie

      As an observer who is straight and doesn’t have a horse in the race, I gotta say, I’m seeing more hatred being thrown by bisexuals at gays than I see the other way around. I love visiting this site because as a straight girl, I do have a lot of gay and bisexual friends (wish I had more lesbian friends though! lol ellen is kind of my idol)and this place totally gives me a perspective I never had before. I will say, that from my experience, yeah the straight community is more cool with gays only because we don’t think gays being together has anything to do with us, but many straight friends I have think bisexuality is not cool and not safe and wouldn’t date someone if they knew they were bi. Not saying that’s right, but just saying that’s how the world can think sometimes. but things change and with time that may too. anyways, I love reading these posts guys, hahaha and girls :)

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AladinSane
      AladinSane

      All I see in this conversation is whining and finger pointing. None of you has a morally superior stance. Here’s the big news no one has seemed to hear…people tend towards prejudice, its just how our brains work. It doesn’t make it right and it doesn’t make it feel any better to be on the receiving end. Get over yourselves! The only behaviour you have control over is your own so focus on that!

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      Experto1982 yet when we gay men call out other gays and lesbians as being biphobic hypocrites since that’s what they’re being nobody seems to care.

      I have also seen and met way too many gay men and lesbians who play the homophobic card when there’s no hate speech or homophobia at all, so what’s your point?

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Luke
      Luke

      Maggie=sockpuppet for Latranda. You’re not straight, just another troll.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • J
      J

      I don’t even have an opinion on the mess being discussed here, good for Mika for coming out. But the poster above saying the word f**got. NOT COOL. Under any circumstance. Especially in the climate we live in. You wanna call people out? you have every right to. But the moment you travel to the territory of using derogatory slurs against an entire community like the F word, you’re opening up yourself, and the very people you’re attempting to defend up for some serious harsh words in return, and also isolating some of us who could be potential allies on your side. I don’t care if you’re gay or if it was directed at a few gays. It’s ridiculous to get on a platform and preach tolerance, and back it up with ugly words like f**gots to people who disagree with you.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rance
      Rance

      J quit being overly sensitive it’s fine to use the “F word” as you put it we’re all queer here and it’s not a slur. What’s more hypocritical are the highly biphobic gays and lesbians, and a troll pretending to be straight here who are posting here.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Art Smith
      Art Smith

      @Luke: Luke, just based on your own writing manner, I’d say you’re at the very least 10 of these same screenames in alias. Is it that surprising for you to realize that many in the gay community have problems with bisexuals, not because they are bisexuals, but because of their arrogance? you claim you’ve experience a great deal of “biphobia” so then it shouldn’t surprise you.
      And the term biphobia is kind of laughable in and of itself, but that’s a different topic for a different day.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Carlos M.
      Carlos M.

      I think it’s funny bisexuals are so hyper sensitive that they play the “bi card” anytime someone doesn’t want to mess with a bisexual. I for one would never ebe with a bisexual in an intimate way. It’s not at all appealing to me. And is against my morals and standards, to which everyone is entitled to. Stop accusing people of being ‘haters’ because they don’t want to mess with bisexual people. I don’t call straight people who don’t want to sleep with gay people haters. They have every right to not be attracted to sleeping with gays. Bisexuals feel everyone owes them the right to find them appealing. Sorry, most straight people and gay people don’t want anything to do with that. That doesn’t make them ‘haters’
      You all can find each other and be with eachother if it offends you so much that not everyone wants to be with you.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Duration&Convexity
      Duration&Convexity

      LOL bisexuals claiming discrimination. Man, I’ve heard it all. Bisexuals want to be passable hetero when it suites them, and then also take perks of being gay when that suites them. They are all basically out for themselves and ONLY care about themselves. They make a lot of demands (everyone is bi, everyone better like being with bisexuals, we need to all explore our bisexuality) and frankly, it’s starting to annoy everyone. Heterosexuals are not about it, and gays are already sick of bisexuals and their condescending homophobia. There’s not many of you bisexuals in this world who are openly out to form a substantial community, so I’d wisen up and be less abrasive to straight people and gays.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      Ugh now the troll that goes on here who posts how he finds bisexual men to be icky and won’t date them or have sex with them is posting under another name.

      Carlos M-Don’t worry bisexual men can do A LOT better than you and all of the bigots out there. I’m gay and I don’t understand the hate that gays and lesbians have towards bisexuals. They are hypocrites and just as bad if not worse than homophobic straight people.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stephen
      Stephen

      Duration, there are enough out bisexuals to form a bisexual community. We did this during the 60s, 70s, 80s, and we’re still doing it today. No we don’t want to pass as hetero and we don’t.

      Let’s also not forget that Stonewall was started by a bisexual transwoman named Rey/Sylvia Rivera.

      Most gay men and lesbians worldwide and even in the Western world are completely closeted, passing as hetero, and in marriages of convenience or in relationships with someone of the opposite gender and pretending to be hetero yet they somehow do not get “blamed” for passing as hetero.

      All of your BS about how bisexuals make a lot of demands can be summed up that you’re biphobic but that’s apparent. If a gay man is biphobic I’d rather he tell me so I won’t do anything with him or even be friends with him.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:15 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evan Landry
      Evan Landry

      @Brandon:
      Brandon, respectfully, you’re one of the more insensitive posters toward gay people I’ve observed on this site. You qualify every post with “but I’m gay” because it’s bound to be something against the gay community, to which you qualify that with “well, yeah I’m highly critical of the gay community but self examination is important.”

      Except in your case, it’s far less examination as it is just having a disdain against the gay community, and being more than enthusiastic to pinpoint flaws, existing or fabricated, of our community. A beautiful community, rich in history, culture, arts, people and so much more. Your sole existence on this blog is to correct, school, educate and diminish gay people, the struggles gays face, their story, and their lives. So it’s all the more stunning to see you so willingly highlight the perceived injustices you witness bisexuals endure. In almost tunnel vision form.

      While I absolutely hate seeing this unnecessary battle of egos between two prominent groups in our LGBT, I do wish the level of passion and compassion you extend to our bisexual friends would be considered to our gay brothers & sisters. Unfortunately, from everything you’ve revealed on this site, you have very little desire to bridge an understanding with the gay community, their hurt, their triumphs and where they come from. I’ve seen you time and time again minimize the gay experience, to trivialize bigotry aimed at a gay individual. I’ve seen you coat the “gay scene” or gay social scene (be it night life, or gay establishments) as places you don’t go to, and no one you know cares to go to. To truthfully be objective would require you to step back and evaluate how statements like that come across to the unsuspecting gay eye. How is that not meant to come off as though you have you nose in the air toward gay people? If a Latino person consistently highlighted distancing themselves from their own people, or was harshly critical on a constant basis of every minor detail of their people, their motives would be put to question, and rightly so.

      Whether realized or not, and I sincerely don’t believe you do realize it, you’re posts have double edged, backhanded slant to them that is almost always unfavorable to gay people. I don’t think in your heart of hearts you do have a good place for our community, our people, or muster up your critiques from a warm place. I also think you’ll, in due time, eventually look back and realize that. But that can’t happen until you figure out whatever unresolved ill feelings you have toward the gay community are. And those can’t be resolved until you rationally realize that there are good and bad apples in every grouping. Depending on your outlook, you’ll either walk away resenting these types, that type, them, this, jew, gay, or bisexual, or you’ll choose to focus your direction on those who are uplifting and positive in the community as well as the positives OF the community. Until you do that, I’m afraid you’ll continue to leave as disappointed as your words customarily read. And that really is a shame.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      Evan TL;DR. I don’t go to LGBT bars or dance clubs as much since I’m older. Believe me I did go a lot when I was younger. Nowadays I just go a few times a year when I meet up with friends who are going to be there. Since I am black I relate more to bisexual and gay black men; but I’m not biphobic and a bigot like that black drag queen who posted above is. I have had r a c i s t fools on this site say how because I’m black I must be DL (downlow) other other nonsense.

      I call out biphobic gays and lesbians and biphobia since as others have written gay men and lesbians who are hateful and bigoted towards bisexuals are just as bad as homophobic straight people, only they are worse since they’re within the LGBT community and should know better.

      Our enemies or people who are Conservative Politicians and rev. Fred Phelps would LOVE to know that LGBT people are divided and that gays and lesbians have tons of hate towards bisexuals and trans people.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evan Landry
      Evan Landry

      @Brandon: With all due respect, you didn’t address any of my points, and instead actually described in detail how you’ve been hurt by racism, biphobia, and bigotry, which obviously shouldn’t happen, but the larger point here was, what about the feelings of gay men and women you consistently dismiss? and not on this story either. On other stories, you’ve written extremely flippant remarks about homophobia, and twisting words/characters and painting the gay guy as the bad guy, which is the heart of our issue here. Your insistence to paint gays at fault in every article, then be completely devoid of understanding where they come from or how your words can be hurtful and not compassionate. Which again, is all the more puzzling considering how emotional, full of passion and emotion, your other posts are.
      As it relates to feeling you’ve been mistreated for racism, you take great offense and highlighted it. As it relates to bisexuals being misunderstood, you take great offense and spoke of it. As it relates to a gay bashing, a gay couple denied a service, the company of an estbalishment donating millions to destroy gay families, to countless other stories relating to the mistreatment of gay people….that level of understanding, compassion consideration you’re willing to have for everyone else, including an ethnic group you’re part of, is not extended toward the gay community. And THAT’S where I have to step back and question if you come from a place of bias against the gay community, and as I noted above, it seems as though you do. You may wonder what all that has to do with all this? well, when a person requires others to open their hearts and minds toward another demographic, they should be willing to do so toward all demographics. In your case, that applies to gays. Being a champion of equality for everyone, with the exception of gay people, while mostly being silent or cynical or often critical of gay people makes your ideals for tolerance seem slightly disingenuous. And I know I’m not the first person to bring your slant against gay people, in every article, to your attention. I’m sure you won’t give much thought to it, and may very well turn a blind eye and go to the next news item and find a way to pitch the gay guy as the bad guy, but if you’re not consistent in your message, it makes you lose credibility in your intentions.
      All my best…see you in the next news items.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CINCINNATISTAN
      CINCINNATISTAN

      @Brandon:
      “I call out biphobic gays and lesbians and biphobia since as others have written gay men and lesbians who are hateful and bigoted towards bisexuals are just as bad as homophobic straight people, only they are worse since they’re within the LGBT community and should know better”

      hmmm. inneresting. but when gay people say ‘hey, blacks should know better than to be against our rights, in great numbers” you and other black gays go postal. calling every gay persona racist, how dare they suggest black people all vote and think alike. so we can’t ever make ignorant remarks about anyone else, because we’re gay and should know better, and it’s okay to make a blanket statement against the entire gay community based on the observed actions of some, but black people shouldn’t be held accountable when they vote against our rights? we’re not allowed to say ‘they shouldn know better’ cuz God knows if we do, asian/hispanic/white, we’d all get chewed out by you black gays. double standard much? why do you feel entitled to be offended and call out bigotry against the gay population but we can’t against your african american community? hmmmm

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Solastce
      Solastce

      @Brandon:

      “I call out biphobic gays and lesbians and biphobia since as others have written gay men and lesbians who are hateful and bigoted towards bisexuals are just as bad as homophobic straight people, only they are worse since they’re within the LGBT community and should know better.”

      hmmm. inneresting. but when gay people say ‘hey, black people should know better than to be against our rights, in great numbers” you and other black gays go crazy. calling every gay persona bigoted, how dare they suggest black people all vote and think alike. so we can’t ever make ignorant remarks about anyone else, because we’re gay and should know better, and it’s okay to make a blanket statement against the entire gay community based on the observed actions of some, but black people shouldn’t be held accountable when they vote against our rights? we’re not allowed to say ‘they shouldn know better’ cuz God knows if we do, asian/hispanic/white, we’d all get chewed out by you black gays. double standard much? why do you feel entitled to be offended and call out bigotry against the gay population but we can’t against your black community? hmmmm

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Belize
      Belize

      LOL. Are you bitches for real?! Give me a break.

      Based on my experience, a great number of bisexuals or people claiming to be bisexuals in this website are guilty of hating on homosexuals (especially the overtly effeminate ones) because they believe that majority of the hate they’ve been getting from heterosexuals are due to the gays (especially the effeminate ones) and the stereotypes they supposedly subscribe to.

      A great number of homosexuals in this site have shown a lot of hatred or dismissive behavior toward bisexuals because they feel as though bisexuality isn’t real or that it is just a go-to term for people who don’t want to admit that they’re gay. (Check the post on Anna Paquin.)

      Meanwhile, there are also the “macho” gays who also hate the effeminate gays because of the same reasons some bisexuals do. And there are bisexuals who hate other bisexuals for being so open minded about their sexuality.

      And lets not forget the numerous heterophobes from both the bisexuals and the homosexuals.

      God. All things considered, no matter where you look, there are still a lot of people in this website who do nothing but practice the same things they claim heterosexuals are guilty of: close-mindedness and MOST IMPORTANTLY hypocrisy.

      This is the reason as to why we remain where we are as far as “equality” is concerned.

      Think about that the next time you decide to brandish your part of the rainbow flag.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kilean
      Kilean

      Just skimming through these posts, here’s what I gathered:

      -Bisexual men can call gays f-gs.
      But then scream “biphobic!”

      -Bisexuals tell gay men they all wish bisexuals were gay and all want them.
      But again, they scream “won’t someone care about us po bisexuals”

      -Bisexuals make ignorant remarks about drag queens and gay culture
      But “respect bisexuals and our people! you better or else…”

      -Bisexuals call an entire race out and make outlandish comments about that race and every member of it (whites)
      But again ” biphobia dangit! stay on track. we’re bi and we’re suffering!”

      -A bisexual poster above was asked to hear the concerns of a lesbian poster and the response was “Oh please. You gays need to stop playing victims” wrote the very bi poster who is calling an entire community of millions ‘biphobic’ for not agreeing with every one of their points.

      If the collection of self serving bisexuals on THIS page are reflective of bisexual community in general, well dayum, I do not blame gays and lesbians for distancing themselves from y’all. That’s just keeping it real.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evan Landry
      Evan Landry

      @Belize:
      I agree entirely. Thank you for being the voice of reason. Both parties seem so one dimensional that they have a refusal to hear the other side, and funny enough, for objective eyes like ours, we see that they are all saying the same thing: accept me for who I am. As another poster stated, I don’t believe it helps at all when some resort to name calling (the word f*g is never appropriate, it crass, and trashy. know your history) I don’t think it helps when some gays paint bisexuals as sexual freaks, and I don’t think it helps when bisexuals brush off homophobia as flippant and don’t care to involve themselves in battling it, instead of contributing to it. Both sides can learn from each other, and know they are stronger united than divided.

      Our rainbow flag is THE most beautiful part of our community. It has traveled to hundreds of countries, through many dozens of years, and symbolizes diversity: old, young, skinny, feminine gay, butch female, fat, short, dark, light, whatever. Come as you are is the message of that flag, and one that sadly gets overlooked by so many.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      Kilean Gay men and lesbians go on and on about homophobia when there’s not hate speech, discrimination, or homophobia at all.

      Reading comprehension is not your friend. The person who called someone a “fag” is a gay man. I’ve been out as gay since 1980 and it’s true that as gay men and lesbians we love to attack others including other gays and lesbians, and bisexuals who get treated like shit by gays and lesbians as has been shown numerous times in this blog post here tonight.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ChristophePhilly
      ChristophePhilly

      @Kilean: Ok hat made me laugh. Partially because it was pretty true, and partially cuz it was just dang funny.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Keith
      Keith

      Kilean is a biphobe, a troll, and an idiot. Don’t take anything he/she writes seriously.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ChristophePhilly
      ChristophePhilly

      @David: Huh? and you’re not one of those people? I bet you’re the first first in every article concerning a gay bashing or injustice to a gay person who tries to brush it off. THAT’S OKAY, right? because it’s happening to a gay person, and you clearly got your issues with gays. So crap that happens to them is worth brushing off. But then here you are in mass hysteria talking about how we need to be more mindful of bisexuals who are poorly treated. Really? how about the people in those gay stories who you’re convinced aren’t victims of homophobia. You’re just as bad as what you’re trying to call out. In fact, you’re exactly who you’re trying to call out.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Belize
      Belize

      @Kilean: LOL. I guess it is simply convenient for your childish point to disregarded the numerous posts of gays or supposedly gay posters who pretty much practice the same thing you claimed the bisexuals are guilty of.

      “If the collection of self serving bisexuals on THIS page are reflective of bisexual community in general, well dayum, I do not blame gays and lesbians for distancing themselves from y’all.”

      But it is not. So, I guess there goes your simple-minded point. Perhaps you will grow out of your selective vision. If not, then tough luck going through life being called a moron. “That’s just keeping it real.” :)

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      Christophe-I don’t post regularly on this site. I saw lots of biphobia in this article while browsing this site and I decided to post.

      Quit projecting your own issues with bisexuals, LGBT people, and your own sexuality onto other people.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Gio
      Gio

      Biphobes? please. That’s some bull right there.

      Biphobia is some imaginary defense mechanism etsablished by bisexuals to get us to deflect our attention from homophobia. Bisexuals are some of the most vile, vicious and violent homophobes you’ll ever meet. They hate gays, and are not healthy to be around. I am glad the gay community got smart and isn’t running in bi circles anymore. Atleast not the gays I know. Why would we want to surround ourselves with our enemies? and yeah, they have established themselves as our enemies. for every gay person I know who once befriended a bi individual, I know a person who doesn’t trust them as far as they can throw them. They pride themselves in their homophobia.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      Right on Belize! I don’t like how a lot of my fellow gay men and lesbians are highly biphobic and bigoted-let’s not get started on how many are highly Transphobic too!-when they should know a lot better than to be hypocritical bigots like this.

      I’m writing about both on this site and within the LGBT community as a whole for those of you who get confused like Christophe.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      Gio you’re a bigot and a hypocrite, and no better than homophobes are. If Biphobia is not real then by your logic homophobia isn’t real, at least to you anyway. That’s the real bullshit right there.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evan Landry
      Evan Landry

      @David: I don’t care if you are gay, or the biggest contributor to gay rights, when you publically use the word f*ggot, and especially as an insult, you open yourself up for harsh criticism. And show great ignorance. You’re neither cute, nor original for using a word that was the very last word thousands of gays throughout history heard as the very last word when they were alive, before being killed. Or killing themselves for that matter. That you can’t grasp the social impact, and weight of that word, coupled with it’s history, and in the same sentence are demanding people be kind, respectful, and compassionate of bisexuals is the reason you are in this argument, and as a bystandard, probably reason why neither sides will ever grow a mutual understanding. You gotta give a little, to take a little, and regardless of your own background, using slurs that directly effect an entire community as a catalyst to make a point about inclusion and tolerance is ironic as best, and blatant hypocrisy at worst. And you don’t get to define what is a slur for the gay community or not. Hundreds of years of history, and countless of stories related to that word define that word for a segment of population. Not a man who is irrationally heated and mouths off in haste, all while trying to pretend he just quoted a Maya Angelelou phrase.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      WHAT DOES BIPHOBIA LOOK LIKE?

      * Assuming that everyone you meet is either heterosexual or homosexual.
      * Supporting and understanding a bisexual identity for young people because you identified “that way” before you came to your “real” lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity.
      * Expecting a bisexual to identify as heterosexual when coupled with the so called different gender/sex.
      * Believing bisexual men spread AIDS/HIV to heterosexuals.
      * Thinking bisexual people haven’t made up their minds.
      * Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities.
      * Assuming bisexuals would be willing to “pass” as anything other than bisexual.
      * Claiming that bisexuality in men and women is somehow rare or does not exist as a valid sexual orientation.
      * Assuming that bisexual men are usually or are always closeted gay men who haven’t come out, and that bisexual women are usually or are always closeted lesbians who have not accepted their sexuality.
      * Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights.
      * Automatically assuming romantic couplings of two women are lesbian, or two men are gay, or a man and a woman are heterosexual.
      * Expecting bisexual people to get services, information, and education from heterosexual service agencies for their “heterosexual side” (sic) and then go to gay and/or lesbian service agencies for their “homosexual side” (sic).
      * Feeling bisexuals just want to have their cake and eat it too.
      * Believing that bisexual women spread AIDS/HIV to lesbians.
      * Using the terms “phase” or “stage” or “confused” or “fence-sitter” or “bisexual” or “AC/DC” or “switch-hitter” as slurs or in an accusatory way.
      * Thinking bisexuals only have committed relationships with so called different sex/gender partners.
      * Looking at a bisexual person and automatically thinking of their sexuality rather than seeing them as a whole, complete person.
      * Assuming that bisexuals, if given the choice, would prefer to be in an different gender/sex coupling to reap the social benefits of a so-called “heterosexual” pairing [sic].
      * Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual.
      * Assuming bisexual means “available.”
      * Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.
      * Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual friend about their lover or whom they are dating only when that person is the “same” sex/gender.
      * Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.
      * Feeling that you can’t trust a bisexual because they aren’t really gay or lesbian, or aren’t really heterosexual.
      * Expecting a bisexual to identify as gay or lesbian when coupled with the “same” sex/gender.
      * Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (i.e. HIV/AIDS, violence, basic civil rights, fighting the Right, military, same-sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.) and to prioritize the visibility of so called “lesbian and/or gay” issues.
      * Claiming that bisexuals somehow undermine the rights of gays/lesbians, or are not for gay/lesbian rights politically.
      * Avoid mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual or working with a bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual.
      * Calling a relationship or marriage between two people of the same gender a gay/lesbian relationship or gay/lesbian marriage.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lazerlightbeams
      Lazerlightbeams

      the people who are crying foul about generalizations toward bisexuals are sure making a lotta generalizations about gays, and lesbians, and whites, and fems, and drag queens, and basically short of muslims, I think the bisexuals covered insulting everyone. No wonder you all are getting major crap storm. You basically invited it with your own words, and can’t even own up to it. lol c’mon now.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      Evan go post under your sockpupper/alt name J about how much you hate how gay men have reclaimed the word “fag” as a political term and it’s not hate speech. I’m sure you hate how we LGBT people use the word queer now too.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Art Smith
      Art Smith

      Folks, the poster Brandon has repeated that gays are not worthy of full equality. He has mentioned time and time again that he distances himself from the gay community. Brandon has also tried to pin gay bashings on the victim. Brandon has told gay people to not care about their rights. Brandon has told gay people to not react to corporations that spend millions to deny them rights. Brandon regularly harrasses gay posters for liking identified things in gay culture.
      And now Brandon is a big pioneer in fully respecting bisexuals.
      See a double standard? yup I do too.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      The gays and lesbians who post under multiple alt names or sock puppets who claim that bisexuals are being bigoted towards G&L people, whites, femmes, and drag queens need to give it a rest we all know that you’re just one person as you’ve shown us all many times before in this topic with your stupid names and spam sites. Quit spamming this site with your biphobia and hate speech which are both as bad as homophobic people no matter how much you want to argue that it’s somehow OK for you to be a bigot or hate bisexuals.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • UsualPlayers
      UsualPlayers

      LGBT together is about 3-10 percent of the population depending on the study.

      So, to Queerty and to the posters here: I got to wonder how you are meeting all these big communities with these long standing hostilities and the other bullshit that I just read?

      Please – Fake controversy on both sides. There are not enough of us- G or B or L or T- to have this kind of tension between us.

      But, then I think, this is all about selling clicks on a website so may bits not real. I certainly hope not.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • UsualPlayers
      UsualPlayers

      @David: Frankly, I think both sdies are fake and this is a way for this blog to gain notice.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      Art Smith you’re nothing but a troll, STFU and go join the other trolls on this site like JayKay, Jason, etc. since you’re just as bad as they are. Also dude you really need some meds or get a hobby instead of wasting your life online spreading hate speech under multiple fake names on an internet site.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      Usual Players-Thanks for noticing. The biphobic posters claiming to be gays ALL have the same writing style and all bring up the same points ad. nauseum under different names. Are there usually this many trolls on here? Or do they just come out when bisexuality is a topic?

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • USC Trojans Fan
      USC Trojans Fan

      David, Brandon, Luke, Larry, gary from the other thread all = the same bisexual and bipolar poster. It’s more than obvious. I just snuck my head out on this post and it’s hilarious to me. Here we have a bisexual man who sniffs out every gay post on this site, bashes the gay community, plays down the impact of homophobia, then pretends to be gay (no gay person I know has ever been this passionate about defending bisexuals while throwing gays under the bus.)
      Seriously, as others noted: you’re bi. Stand next to your words as a bisexual man. No need to wear a gay name tag to make you feel like you’re jaded opinion carries more weight. It just looks sad and silly to see a known bisexual man, with intense issues against the entire gay community, try to pass off as gay while throwing a hissy fit on behalf of bisexuals. You kinda just lived up to every negative stereotype of bisexuals. And that you’re invested to have been on this page arguing for hours just proves that point. Dam, go get some sleep boo boo. Not everyone will want to mess around with a bisexual, that will never, ever change. No need to loose sleep over it.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      USCTrojan fan-You’re another alt name of Art Smith, laser light beams, etc. Go do something useful like join the Westboro baptist church since they love your bigoted type there.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:03 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      I’ve longgg suspected Brandon was either bisexual or heterosexual, either way, not gay. No gay man I know is so actively against their own rights and their own people unless they have a few loose skrews. Glad this was confirmed. Will be sure word gets out too.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      USCTrojans if anyone needs to chill out and go on meds it’s you with your multiple names spamming this site/blog, and how you love to spread hate speech against bisexuals.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      Nope I’m a gay man. LOL and just who the fuck are you B? OH that’s right you’re a random internet troll who is crazy or cray cray as the kids call it now.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sam
      Sam

      According to Brandon/David
      It’s hate speech when someone reacts to the homophobia of bisexuals, but actual hate speech toward gays is not really hate speech. If you notice a pattern in the posts of David/Brandon in other threads, he is the first to try and eliminate the homophobic angle of a story. He tries to hetero wash every story, and make you convinced there is no homophobia in society. Then he’ll follow it up with an anti gay comment. Now we all see he is in actuality bisexual himself. That speaks volumes that one of the most homophobic posters on this site is in fact bisexual himself, and a bisexual activist. Hmmm. Very eye opening indeed.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      What other threads? I have only written in this thread. You’re a troll and posting under multiple names so I’m no longer going to reply to you at all. I don’t care if you don’t believe me but I’m gay and I’ve been out for a lot longer than you have unless you were born in the early 60s.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CashCow74
      CashCow74

      I won’t read that long @$$ forum. But I will say, I guess my problem with bisexuals is that they want to be really critical of gay culture and gays in general. They want to demand we change our mannerisms, how we dress, even how we act with our partners (see the kiss in post, many bisexuals feel public displays of affection between same sex couples is wrong and weird) but then when it comes to helping us, or doing generally anything for the gay community they don’t do jack crap. why should the gay community ever listen to what the bi community has to say about anything when they are trying to police how we live our lives?

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Analog
      Analog

      There’s a logical explanation to what some slightly hysterically refer to as “bisexual erasure”, ie. when someone describes a bi person as being gay:
      There’s a huge prejudice in society towards homosexual relationships and attraction, obviously.
      There is no prejudice in society towards heterosexual relationships and attraction, again rather obviously.
      Therefore, the part of a bisexual person’s life which is of most social relevance – and is the part we as The Gays share in common – is the gay “side”, as it were; the same sex attraction.
      That’s the part we’re all fighting for.
      The other side requires no such fight.
      To claim that the focus on this is somehow “erasing” opposite sex attraction in bi people is almost akin to straight people saying “You don’t see us marching in a STRAIGHT PRIDE, do you!!???”

      Anyway, good for Mika.
      Or whatever.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lipstick Diva
      Lipstick Diva

      I did read a few of the above replies, the coherent ones anyway. Here’s my take. I don’t have any issues with bisexuals, being bisexual, or bisexuality as a whole. As a lesbian of 30 + years, I don’t ever have room to judge someone else for what makes them happy. But I think where we run into trouble when bisexuals claim the gay community is as uncomfortable with bisexuality or they’ll even claim we’re more uncomfortable. that’s just not true. we all know that’s not true. and if you’re really bi, you should know better than to make a blanket washed remark against gays, when there’s far more heterosexuals in this country and world who are not at all comfortable being with a bisexual, or their children being with a bisexual. as a society, straight people haven’t even entertained bisexuality in discussion, mass media, or social norms. Gays are hardly there either, but at least we’re being engaged. that’s NOT to imply bisexuals aren’t wrothy of full equal treatment. you are. but trying to pin that all on gays is showing your own prejudice against gays and your projecting your insecurities on us.
      simply put, bi people are far more keen on tackling biphobia within the gay community but my bi friends themselves admit it’s harder for them to disscuss the issue with many straight people they know, much less confront the heteros about what they think on it.
      bi people use gay people as a punching bag for their frustrations, and gay people usually either tune them out, or like above, they attack back.
      that’s what I’m observing anyways.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stephen
      Stephen

      Actually analog calling a person who is bisexual “gay” is akin to calling someone who is bisexual/gay “Straight” as it’s completely erasing and invalidating the bisexual person’s sexuality. Heterosexuals have been doing this to LGBT people for 100’s of years and gays do it to bisexuals.

      Yes the other side does require a fight, whatever happened to sexual freedom? There’s a lot of biphobia within the LGBT community and yes a lot of it does come from ignorant gays and lesbians. I have noticed how some gays and lesbians will claim that they are OK with bisexuality and then a bisexual friend or someone who they dated or had a relationship with happens to settle down or partner with someone of the opposite gender and instead of being happy for their so called “friend” they get very viscous and mean. Or if the bisexual person gets with the same gender they’ll pull out the “Oh so you’re really gay!” card which is bisexual erasure/biphobia and shows how ignorant they are about human sexuality.

      There are also gays and lesbians who are allies towards bisexuals and who are not biphobic and are fine with bisexuals and some of these men and women have posted in this thread.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kate
      Kate

      Lipstick Diva so since I’m a bisexual woman all of those large number of lesbians who told me how I’m really hetero and experimenting, that I’m really a lesbian, or that I’ll give them HIV/AIDS and other STDs were just being friendly to me and not biphobic at all. These women foolishly believe that a lesbian can’t get HIV or an STD from another lesbian! They are doing this to rationalize unsafe sex and I don’t have sex with them not only because they are biphobic but because they are in denial about how women can give each other STDs!

      Straight people actually know all about bisexuality and have for awhile thanks to the hard work that bisexuals like myself and others who were before me did. Bisexuality became mainstream in the 70s and people knew about it even before Stonewall.

      Before I came out as bisexual I identified as lesbian and then after I realized that I am bisexual my so called lesbian friends wanted nothing to do with me and said how I was confused about my sexuality, a traitor to lesbian women, etc. Meanwhile my straight friends and family have always been completely supportive of me and my mom knew before I did that I’m bisexual. So your argument is moot.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:37 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Analog
      Analog

      @Stephen: “Heterosexuals have been doing this to LGBT people for 100?s of years and gays do it to bisexuals.

      Heterosexuals have been “erasing” the entirety of gay people’s sexual identities for ever, yes.
      If one agrees with your assertion above it isn’t entirely correct, as what you’re saying is that gay people are “erasing” one half or one side of a bisexual person’s sexual identity.
      As I said, that part happens to be the part that the vast majority of society doesn’t have a problem with and hasn’t been “erasing” for 100s and 100s of years.
      That’s the difference.

      With regard to the element society does have a problem with: same sex attraction; we’re on the same side.
      This argument is academic.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:37 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 2Dads
      2Dads [Different person #1 using similar name]

      Bisexuals have a privilige that sometimes comes off boastful which does ruffle the feathers of many a gays, because the sensitivity and respect they require and demand is rarely displayed in form to us. Being gay is more challenging by virtue of the fact that, it’s not a 50/50 chance of attaining equality, or leading a heterosexual approved life, a chance that is 50% given to bisexuals. With that comes a lack of understanding or much empathy for the struggle that gays go through. You scroll above and the terms homophobia, or gay community, or anti gay are all put in quotation marks by bisexual speakers and that really is the narrative here. Bisexuals truly don’t believe homophobia is as real as it is, for those of us who are gay and not bi, and are met with hatred in our communities, churches, and families for it. If the bisexual individual were to find a partner of the opposite sex, life as they know it WOULD be vastly more comfortable than that of a gay person. That’s not a point open to debate. You’re leading a life that is identified as heterosexual, even if you are still bisexual, and a heterosexual percieved life is an accepted one, for the most part. Because bisexuals can’t fully relate to the gay experience, they don’t seem invested in the gay experience. That’s certainly their perogative and right, but what clearly infuriates the gay community is when bisexuals attempt to get gays to be more complacent and as indifferent as they are toward gay issues. That’s where things take an unpleasent turn.

      While the bisexual community makes calls for recognitions we need to make, I really do wish they’d be willing to recognize the point above.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Zoey
      Zoey

      I can’t believe how much time I just spent reading all of this b**ching. Since nobody else’s experience seems valid here I don’t know why I’m posting but anyway… The inference that well, basically everyone in the world that isn’t bisexual is biphobic, is frankly – offensive. My mother has been out for the last 21 years (I am now 29), I have had relationships with people who identify as heterosexual, lesbian and bisexual, I have also known several people who have felt that they were bisexual and later identified as gay. Never have I been accused of being biphobic, there was an earlier post that made some sense and given me a few points to think about, however the majority of posts here from people identifying as bisexual all have the same ‘pointing finger’ feel – You are not bisexual therefore you could not possibly understand how terrible it is for ‘us’. The fact that you as an individual or a group are experiencing difficulties does not negate anyone else’s troubles or suffering! It’s good to feel proud of who you are (including your sexuality) but that doesn’t make you an expert and it doesn’t give you the right to judge other people because who they are is different. :s

      Aug 5, 2012 at 6:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kayla
      Kayla

      @2Dads: Very well said, and I noticed when this point was being made above, every single bisexual debater replied telling gay people to stop playing victims, and that most of their homophobia is imaginary. I mean, with rebuttals like that, can bisexuals truly fault gay people for not be welcoming? How are we expected to identify with your struggles, when you don’t give us the courtesy to mention ours without rolling your eyes behind your head. What you give is exactly what you get in this world, and in adulthood especially. While I see people responding to the concerns of bisexuals, I truly haven’t seen a bisexual person comment on the many, manyyyy concerns gay posters have brought forth in the multitude of posts regarding their concerns.

      Why do bisexuals tell gays that most people are bisexual and unwilling to entertain it. That’s offensive. To bring up links and quote a researcher is even more offensive. When you tell another human being who they are or who they are supposed to be, I assure you you will NOT make any friends.

      Why do bisexuals generally critique and revel in belittling the efforts of gay rights groups in pursuing their battles, when they are not very willing to participate?

      Why is homophobia experienced by gays consistently brushed off as no big deal, or over hyped, usually in the same breathe biphobia is brought up as an epic concern?

      Me, myself, I, I me, is good for neither side. To achieve a truly effective resolution is to also look as your own actions, reactions, and principles and see if they at all contribute in the warfare.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 6:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hassan
      Hassan

      I’m bisexual, but I’m not really liking this exchange, and I can’t say I’m liking the aproach of some on my side either. Guys, to reach understanding we have to chill out and be willing to listen. Respectfully. To slam all non bisexuals, and white people, and lesbians, and gays, and drag queens, and make comments like f()gs and q()eers is not helping anyone be more embracing of bisexuals. Yeah, I do think there’s a lot of misunderstanding of what being bisexual is, and I see it all the time, and it’s troubling.
      But want me to be honest? I also see a sense of privilige adopted by *some* bisexuals I know. I see some bisexuals I know align themselves with heterosexuals in every aspect, because it’s more trendy and it feels a step above being gay. I have felt some bisexuals I’ve known resented gays who didn’t act in some hyper masculine hetero-normative manner. I have heard from my own bisexual partners that gays are choosing to be gay, when we’re all meant to eb bisexual. It cuts both ways. I’ve experinced ignorance from both sides. I’m objective enough to admit that, and say that we’ve all got work to do.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 6:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ForthWorth
      ForthWorth

      I’ve read three posts above suggesting most gay men are actually bisexual and lying about being gay. I have yet to read any gay poster tell a bisexual poster they are really gay. It IS startling. The bisexuals are accusing gays of doing everything they themselves are doing.

      No, we’re not all bisexual. How dare you tell gay people they are ignorant in not exploring their bisexuality? Bisexuals will never, ever earn my respect if they continue this militant meme that demands we are all bisexual or should be. It comes off creepy, perverse, and frankly feeds right into every negative stereotype people have of you all. Stop thinking, fixating, and doctating other people’s sex lives and sexual orientations.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 6:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nick Makteryan
      Nick Makteryan

      Bisexual erasure? Nice try. I see it as the exact opposite. Bisexuals trying to erase gays, gay identity and any notion of gay culture, to which bisexuals have an intense and irrational hatred/fear of. I had a bisexual roomate and he was truly the most unbearable human I’ve met in my life. Much like the OTT bisexuals above, he insisted that I was bisexual and needed to ‘experiment’ with women. It was insulting, homophobic as heck, and suggested gay people can’t truly fathom their own wants. No different than the worst homophobe imaginable. Bisexuals do seem to be out on a mission to ‘convert’ everyone to be bisexual, with a whole bunch of psycho babble attached to their point. They especially resent people identifying as gay. I’m glad my experiences are not lonesome and others can relate. The bisexual community of today is truly more offensive and in some ways dangerous than the homophobe next door. The homophobe next door views you as gay, even if they don’t like it. The bisexual doesn’t like you being gay, and wants to brainwash you to be just like them.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 7:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rockery
      Rockery

      LMAO poor Mika got completely ignored!! I guess because we all knew he was gay, bisexuals definitely exist but some do use it as a stepping stone. I don’t have many bi friends but the female ones have dated men & women, but the few bi male friends I have, I’ve never seen them with a woman, don’t know why that is

      Aug 5, 2012 at 7:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ScaryRussianHeather
      ScaryRussianHeather

      @Matt:

      I believe he lyric is” “So I tried a little Freddie MMM MMM I’ve gone identity mad!” (or “try”)

      So if it was a reference to sexuality it would mean he unsuccessfully tried to be in a relationship with a woman – like Freddie, imo.

      Freddie Mercury was gay not bisexual. Unless your definition of bisexual is a man who cannot be fulfilled by a woman. Not exactly the common definition- unless recreational/explorational sex counts. Which it should not FFS.

      That was the entire basis for his lifelong problem being emotionally entwined for life with Mary Austin but not being able to stay with her. Mary Austin says he was “a gay” in her own interview here at 7:53.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L36N4BKKir4&feature=related

      When their physical relationship failed they remained like brother and sister until he died. When he left her after cheating on her with a man for two of the six years they were together… it was NOT public knowledge like it would be today. He never switched over to any other women, either.

      His life is a sad story of someone stuck in the public eye, unable to live openly with a man who, even in his last years had to keep his lover, Jim Hutton on the downlow. And because of these societal limitations remained psychologically dependent on his relationship with Mary therein preventing him from a rich and fulfilling life as a gay man that he would have MAYBE been able to live today. IF he wasn’t lacking courage – a tough call considering how many people do NOT live openly even today.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 7:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      1. The issue with bisexual attacks on gays is that bisexuals refused to admit that many gay people will claim to be bisexual as a first step in the coming out process. They claim that somebody who says they are bi, and then later says they are gay was “Pressured into it by evil gays.”

      No, saying they are bi, was their way of sticking their toe out of the closet. If so many gays hadn’t either done that, or seen their friends do it, your claims might work, but when you rant and lie about something that most of us have seen or done you just sound foolish.

      Now I’m going to say what SHOULD have been said by the first post rather than having it be some bitter anti-gay attack.

      Congratulations to Mika on coming out. Welcome to the club, and can’t wait to hear your next CD.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 8:15 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CuteGeek
      CuteGeek

      When bisexuals tell us that any man who strongly calls himself gay is in fact a bisexual in denial and responsible for biphobia, you are doing EXACTLY what you claim gays are doing – devaluing OUR life experiences as gay people, denying OUR right to self-identify as gay, and reducing being gay to being a phase in the life of a bisexual.

      It’s political bull, and you bisexuals refuse to take responsibility for your role in that.

      I assure you, if you continue telling gay people they aren’t really gay, it will cost you some serious backlash. Your platform shouldn’t be “I’m bisexual, and SO ARE YOU!” it should be “I’m bisexual, you are gay, we can coexist”

      Aug 5, 2012 at 8:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rachel
      Rachel

      This entire thread summed up in a nutshell:

      Bisexuals need to stop policing gay men, their identity, gay culture, and the pillars of the gay community. And it would help if they stopped analyzing why people are gay and not bi like them. Or worse, coming up with rather offensive theories on the matter.

      Gays can be more open minded in embracing and accepting bisexuals for who they are too. And both sides can use being a little less judgemental.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 8:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • FMAlchemist
      FMAlchemist

      Reading a lot of these comments has been making me consider my own stance on bisexuality and I’ve come to the rather alarming conclusion that I am more biphobic than I’d like to admit. In the past I have either internally or externally hoped against/dismissed the notion of someone being bisexual, even when reading such announcements as Mika’s I felt a little bit of joy at the announcement that he considers himself more or less officially “gay” and I fully cop to having moments of bisexual erasure (sidebar: never heard it called that before until this thread!) and, yeah, I do think it comes from a sense of insecurity-as someone who tends to lean toward more definite positions (probably much more than I should) the idea of existing in a more fluid manner is a little alarming because I’ve kind of prided myself on “knowing exactly who and what I am” and well, I admit that objectively that is pretty darn silly. Why should the way someone else is be any reflection on myself? Clearly I have some growing up to do and I hope that this acknowledgement is the first step of that.

      To any and all bisexual people who have been offended with my attitudes or reactions I apologise. (Admittedly as this is my first post on this place I doubt anyone here has been a victim but still)

      I don’t know about anybody else but I’m kind of grateful for this whole thing if only as it taught me something about myself.

      Also, yeah sorry if that didn’t make a whole lot of sense, I’ve not slept :/

      Aug 5, 2012 at 8:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Prognosis
      Prognosis

      Maybe it’s time we shed this sham of GLBT and realized we don’t really have jack in common with each other and the divisions just keep getting wider and more hostile. I say every man, woman, and it for shimself!

      Aug 5, 2012 at 8:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ScaryRussianHeather
      ScaryRussianHeather

      @Carlos:

      “Austine-Actually most heterosexual people are a lot more understanding of bisexuality than the majority of gays or lesbians are”

      Understanding? That’s an interesting choice of words.By understanding you mean platonic heteros who aren’t opinionated? Or understanding that you will be switching sides off and on indefinitely and don’t care? Ok fine.

      You can’t mean “understanding” in the dating sense. I don’t know any hetero (or homo) people who actually KNOW about bisexuality who want to be “bothered” entering into a relationship with bi people just waiting for the day that their person decides to act on it. Talk about phobia? How about KNOWING that any day now, you’re going to be not “enough” and get pushed to the side.

      The elephant in the room is you’re either on an endless cruise to nowhere flipping sexual gender preferences OR you can never have the relationship stop in the port for very long. Because wait. That would mean your brain has chosen a “side”. At least temporarily. How are you selling that to a potential partner?

      Prove me wrong. How many bisexuals do you know in a serious relationship who don’t “dabble” in the gender opposite their partner? Open relationships? And I’m not talking about younger people just living for recreational sex or trying to figure out their gender ~ preferences. And IF you cite people in a committed relationship then what makes them bi? The fact that “some day” they might flip again? Or the fact that they had a history of being with another gender? Or their particular fantasies?

      I don’t envy any MATURE bisexual’s conflict. That doesn’t mean everyone else is wrong for pointing out the inherent issues getting involved with someone with that proclivity.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 8:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      One thing that is fascinating.

      Bisexuals come on here a lot and accuse gays of “Biphobia”.

      And yet, if you read the posts, what you will see is that the attacking, name-calling, and insults are usually the bisexuals attacking gays.

      Perhaps they should ask themselves why, as bisexuals they hate gays so much. Could it be that they are homophobic and hate that aspect of themselves.

      Either way, playing the victim of gays, doesn’t work when you are constantly attacking them. That is the same phony victim claim that the head of Chick Fil A is trying.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 8:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Analog
      Analog

      @Prognosis: Bye, then.
      Good luck on your own…

      Aug 5, 2012 at 8:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jose
      Jose

      @Cam: AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!
      While I can feel sympathy for anyone does experience true biphobia, I find many of the exagerated claims stated here, matched with highly ignorant remarks about all gays to defeat that. I’m also not appreciating the words “gay community” being in quote marks, or the word “homophobia” being in quote marks by bisexual posters. In a similar thread on this very topic months ago, bisexual posters boldly told gays on here that the only reason they -CHOOSE- to be gay is because of their want to be trendy. Those are exact quotes from a few bisexual posters on this very site. Say something like that….even thinking something like that is so dangerous, hurtful and inexcusable, to throw that in a gay persons face. It undermines all the challanges gays face, and proudly ignores the painful and sometime life altering journey that many gay people endured to get to a point where they can gladly say they are gay. To essentially ask them to reconsider that, or tell them who they are is artificial is absolutely no different than their claims of what gays do toward them. I find bisexuals who try to convince gays that they are bisexual too, to be no different than a homophobe with a conversion therapy program, and I’d caution gay people to distance themselves from some bisexuals who may be like that. Notice I didn’t say all, or even a majority. But if you encounter it, don’t let anyone plant a seed in your head of who you are or should be. Even if they fall under LGBT, and want you to go from one letter to the other.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 9:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      Let’s get into reality. I came out at 17 and was kicked out of my home by a homophobic father, and went from home to home, could not join the military because of my orientation even though I was offered a linquist position called faggot, was threatened with physical violence etc.

      I left that small homophobic town only to enter into Biphobic gay culture. I fell in love with a lesbian at 19 we we’re both ostracized, teased and harassed in school. We went to an LGBU meeting and were laughed at and told to leave (1991) And really never was “a part of” mainstream gay culture.

      Since 2004 I was harrassed by 2 gay faculty in grad school, 1 gay student, and 1 lesbian, and 1 straight female student. The school swept the incidences under the rug and refused to address it (if they were straight and I were gay they would all be fired and expelled)

      How about work. In an almost all gay environment my straight boss said I was “a liar coward and don’t deserve respect. I was harassed via online dating the list goes on and on. What bisexual men and women need to do now is prepare themselves. “bisexual” is specifically covered in my state under the human rights act. So my fellow bisexuals call Lambda legal, call a personal injury lawyer and let’s sue the hell out of both biggotted gays and biggotted straight people. It is the only way forward.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 9:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @ScaryRussianHeather: “He never switched over to any other women, either.”

      Really?
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBDQXT2al7k

      Before Mary Austin he had another girlfriend called Rosemary Pearson

      Freddie Mecury – was probably a bisexual man who ultimately preferred to be with a man. Rather like Elton John.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hiding my real screen name
      hiding my real screen name

      @Brandon: “WHAT DOES BIPHOBIA LOOK LIKE?: * Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.”

      well, i AM a bit confused about my sexuality. and happy with that — on a good day. it would take superhuman strength of will to deflect the negative incoming that makes you feel fucked up for not being able to pick a team.

      i did pick a team… and painted myself into a corner.

      my sexuality has changed over time, from exclusive sexual interest in men (notwithstanding intense NONSEXUAL crushes on girls in my early teens which i grew out of) to now in my thirties being EXTREMELY sexually interested in women (*only* sexually). at this point my jerk off fantasies/porn are skewed pussy. but would wish my life partner to be a man. but with all the bad p.r. bi gets (the male type at least) i fear most potential guy partners would choose the “real deal” over “gay-lite”. (and women partners are light years away from accepting this from a man). so its don’t ask don’t tell with me …hide my porn… hide my fantasies…hide my experiences…hide that i’m checking out some girls ass; the same way i have to pretend i’m not checking out some dude when i’m with straight male friends (not wishing to “rub their faces in it” ). so much wasted energy.

      i identify as gay rather than bisexual: what would it profit me to do otherwise? hostility and suspicion from both sides [see above]; LESS LOVE in every sense. and stigma. there’s the slut factor: which is unfair as i’m the most monogamous person … ditto the walking disease vector. again not me.

      moreover, at this age i would find it way more embarrassing to come out (AGAIN!) but now as bi (if thats even what i am, cuz, seriously i’m not 100% sure what it takes “officially” to qualify for that particular toaster oven so why risk climbing out on a limb needlessly); i fear looking wilfully indecisive, flaky, lying and sneaky. it could endanger my uniquely privileged intimacy with women friends who confer “insider status” on their gbf albeit at the price of being patronised as a harmlessly sexless palace eunuch… ferchrisskes some have even taken there bras off in front of me while changing to go out (i didn’t fancy them though and averted my eyes all the same). still, i’d fear they’d view me as having been an impostor. maybe i am. it can feel like a betrayal when friends realise that you’ve held back an important part of your self and that they never knew you at all.

      i really don’t know who’s got the hardest struggle gay or bi and it’s frankly pointless debate, like two bald men arguing over a comb. basically, homophobia/heterosexism is the common enemy and that’s the direction are guns should be pointing.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charlie
      Charlie

      @Jackson: Wow. All this time I thought I loved my girlfriend but it turns out I actually have a huge problem with her. Thanks so much for clearing that up.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anon
      Anon

      I think gays have every reason to be suspicious/unbelieving of self-named “bisexuals”, because they are usually gay men who think coming out first as “bisexual” eases their transition into coming out as fully gay – as in the case of Mika here.
      Of course, this is unfortunate for true bisexuals, but what can you do?

      Anyway, about Mika – I love songs, and I’m glad he’s become more accepting of his sexuality.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • What the f**k
      What the f**k

      Mika’s getting desperate now .He thinks that finally admitting the truth will translate to gratitude from the “GAYS”and in turn someone will purchase his new worthless offering.Go back to obscurity Mika …WE DON”T WANT YOU…please take the scissor sisters with you!

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Zac
      Zac

      What is this? Why such division in the LGBT community? You should be supporting each other, not building walls between each other. This kind of “my-camp, your-camp” mentality is one of the reasons I had such anxiety about my sexuality at a younger age, as well as my currently ambiguous treatment of it. We should be teaching that sexuality is a spectrum not solely limited to gender instead of preaching about how you must choose a side and stand them.

      Before we can achieve true equality we must tear down the barriers within the LGBT community and appreciate ourselves as unique individuals with different ethnicities, cultures, perspectives, sexualities, and genders, though siblings nonetheless. After that we just need to do the same with the “hereto community.”

      I am 18 and I don’t have a definite sexual identity, but in time I’m sure I will find mine that is unique to me. But regardless I will continue to support the LGBT community as a whole.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Summer Night
      Summer Night

      I can’t believe the bisexuals on here have the NERVE to talk about being “bullied” by gay people when they are the ones being bullies to gay people. What kind of hypocrisy??

      The gay community is not perfect, i can easily admit it. But the fact that SO many bi people are denying the bad apples in their own community and want to make everyone believe the gay community is a oh SO awful community and the bi community is SO perfect is alarming.

      You bi people need to stop your homophobic BS. You’re not better than biphobic people by doing that, you’re doing the exact same thing.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 12:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ellen
      Ellen

      I honestly cannot believe what I have read here. The amount of hate towards both bisexuals and gays and lesbians is terrifying and disheartening. We are a minority. Every single part of the LGBT community is a minority. And ripping apart each other is only aiding both the biphobic people and the homophobic people. They hardly need to say anything or lift a finger if we rip each other apart like that. Yes, both sides are hurt. Yes, there is hatred on both sides. But isn’t it time that we put away the bitterness and hatred against each other and turn it onto those who we really need to fight. We need to unite in order to succeed. And the further apart we grow, and the more divided we are, the easier it is for us all to fail.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      “the bisexual community” I have not had a community for most of my life really. Now I do a little bit more. most of the bisexual guys I have known have not felt part of the gay community and most who do end up saying they are “gay” for social approval.

      Yes I have dated mostly the opposite sex but take all my relationships seriously and have one real serious boyfriend. But the worst part of this for a guy like me is what is written above I emotionally connect to the opposite sex but many straight women are indeed scared or don’t understand and won’t date me, especially because I am open about my bisexuality. And also many bisexual women won’t either – out of misconception of STDs when I am hyper safe and monogomous. Luckily I have found many women who will.

      But in the very end I am not trying to be “straight” I am trying to find my best friend male or female. The one godsend occurring for me now is both trans guys and trans girls are interested. And perhaps that is a very good match. I concur with the statement about “why are LGBT people fighting each other?” I have many good gay friends though who have supported me. Let’s all support and understand each other.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Analog
      Analog

      @Mat: That’s a beautiful comment.
      Thank you for posting it.
      And good luck…
      xxx

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Analog
      Analog

      Good luck everyone, wherever you are on the LGBT spectrum. :)
      x

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dumb bi's
      Dumb bi's

      Reading the rude and condescending posts from the bisexuals on here remind me why I don’t even bother trying to get along with them anymore. They’re so full of themselves and act like they have things sooooo hard when these are the same people who will be straight when it’s convienient and will be gay when it’s convienient. They don’t care about anyone but themselves and 9 times out of 10 when they’re ready to settle down and had all their fun, they will settle down with the opposite sex because it’s an easier way of life and also could care less about gay rights because it doesn’t affect them anymore.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hiding my real screen name
      hiding my real screen name

      @ScaryRussianHeather: dayum, you scored a direct hit there! however you were motivated you managed to articulate my worst deepest fears about how i’m perceived by straights and gays alike. so depressed now. it all feels pretty hopeless and pointless. i just want to be loved and trusted… pathetic, i know.

      i hope people will see from heathers analysis along with mat’s predicament that the “who suffers more /who’s most privileged” is rather more complicated…and offensive too all involved.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 2:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      I’m gay and I was badgered relentlessly on another thread for not being open to sex or a relationship (!) with a bisexual, because I thought that kissing a guy who was kissing a woman last week is just, yeah, icky, and he’s probably going to want to do that next week too.

      Gee, I’m flattered, but can’t bisexuals get enough dates without hitting on gay guys who aren’t interested? :)

      Women don’t generally call gay guys “misogynist” for not wanting to have sex with them. Because that would be kind of, you know, insane.

      Even if we want to “change” our sexual attractions & interests, out of some perfect sense of political correctness, that’s not possible for ANY of us to do.

      If a straight homophobic Christian orders you to stop having bisexual feelings and stick with the opposite sex, I assume you would scoff because that’s impossible and offensive. But bitter bisexuals think it’s perfectly okay to order gay people around in the exact same way! Sorry, batsh*t crazy political correctness is no more effective in changing hard-wired sexual desires than is batsh*t-crazy Christianity.

      And you never try these tactics with straight people because you’re too cowardly to do that. Except maybe to a woman, because bullies like you guys probably find them easier to push around. As posters above point out, bisexuals don’t go to hetero sports bars and berate the straight guys there for being “biphobic.” No, they only do that to gay guys because we’re easier to bully. Well, we can say, go f*ck yourselves… literally! … stay with each other sexually, stop hitting on gay guys who aren’t interested, and find kindred spirits who are turned on by your sexuality. They’re around, so relax.

      Well anyway, on that other thread I finally gave in to the relentless badgering and agreed to go on a date with a bisexual! – if my current relationship ever ends (unlikely, I hope). I actually GAVE IN and agreed to be open to dating a bisexual guy. I thought, hey it’s fair enough, I’ll be open to giving that another try.

      But the bisexuals were ungracious in victory and they started immediately berating me about how I was somehow “just like Fred Phelps and Rick Santorum” (? – even though I had finally given in and agreed to date them) and they wouldn’t want to date me anyway! What a relief. So I guess I’m off the hook.

      I’d make a joke about “WHY CAN’T BISEXUALS MAKE UP THEIR MINDS?” … except I realize from Queerty comments that bisexuals have no fucking sense of humor!

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Adam
      Adam

      ScaryRussianHeather Freddie Mercury himself said how he is bisexual and Mary Austin has said this in interviews about him. To claim otherwise or that he’s gay is an example of bisexual erasure.

      She said this in an interview: I would say Freddie Mercury was bisexual. I wasn’t especially naïve, and Freddie didn’t hide his sexuality, but he also didn’t proclaim it. He said it would be “boring” if he did.

      I’m not sure what you mean about him not being satisfied by a woman? He did date, have sex with, and had relationships with women.

      Early in his life, Freddie did have girlfriends. Notably, in the early 70s he had a serious relationship with Mary Austin. Their romantic relationship lasted around 5 years, but they continued to be firm friends afterwards. Freddie left the majority of his estate to Mary when he died. He was also godfather to her son, Richard.

      Through much of the mid-70’s to his death, Freddie seemed to have various relationships with men, apart from a relationship with Barbara Valentin, a German actress sometime in the early 80’s.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DJ
      DJ

      The Other Greg you’re biphobic and you and other trolls have been posting under various names and spreading biphobia in this blog entry.

      Summer Night-Yes bisexuals are bullied by gays and lesians, just read the comments here. Oh my bad, you’re just a troll.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @Analog:
      Unfortunately that is NOT true. I was in a brief relationship with a bi woman who had problems. She went to see a therapist who happened to be gay. This therapist told her “if he is bisexual then he is gay and in denial and you should not date him.” this is why this is so closeted and invisible. Bimen often have to defend their heterosexuality because THAT is what is erased. In my case I had 20 female sexual partners before her. I had much few boyfriends.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jason M.
      Jason M.

      Jose-The posts here ARE true biphobia. Read the post about what biphobia is and you’ll see examples of it in posts here unless you’re in total denial as it sounds like you are.

      Now the trolls who are anti-bisexual and practicing biphobia and hate speech on here are pretending to be bisexual like the troll “Hassan” since the writing style is EXACTLY the same as the biphobic trolls. Nice try.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jack
      Jack

      I’m a gay man and I’ve been out for decades and I’m ashamed and embarrassed at how bigoted some of my fellow gay men are when it comes to bisexuals and bisexuality. Who are you to tell someone that they’re not bisexual or that an entire sexuality and community of people does not exist? How would you know since you’re homosexual and not bisexual?

      To all of the men here who claim that there’s no such thing as bisexuality, that bisexual men are always really gay men, or that bisexual men should be avoided:

      You’re no better than Conservative Republicans, how some Christians (the born again type and Westboro Baptist church) are, and you’re bigoted just like these people are towards us gay/bisexual/queer men.

      Secondly it’s NOT homophobia or wrong to say that a lot of bisexuals do pose as gay men and lesbians. I’ve met many bisexuals who told me how they first came out as gay or lesbian. I have also met gay men who are really bisexual but they call themselves gay because of the large amount of biphobic gay men out there.

      Try studying human sexuality sometime guys instead of just cruising for d!ck online. Study some Kinsey-Anything between (zero-straight) and 6-gay is bisexual. Or look at the Klein Grid of human sexuality. Or look at the book “Dual Attraction” by Martin S. Weinberg, Colin J. Williams, and Douglas W. Pryor.

      There’s nothing wrong with being bisexual. To the bisexual men reading this ignore the haters replying to this blog. Not all gay men are bigoted like a few of them are here. Many of us gay men love bisexual men and I’ve met many gay men who are more into bisexual men and only have lasting long term relationships and date them.

      There are some guys here who think that they’ve had sex with actual “straight” guys. Dream on, it’s just a fantasy and if a guy is really hetero or straight and you’re not in prison with him for the rest of your lives as his prison b!tch or doing something forced or non-consensual with him for sex you’re never going to have sex with a real straight guy.

      I’ve had relationships with lots of bisexual men and they were just fine. I have had lots of gay men flat out cheat on me and lie to me which is something bisexual men have never done but I’d never tell a bisexual or gay man “Oh don’t date gay men! They will probably lie to you and just cheat on you!”

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @the other Greg:
      The issue for most bi guys (and girls) is there is fluctuations throughout life. A few years ago I broke up with a straight girl and afterwards heartbroken thought “wouldn’t it be nice to find a boyfriend again” – do I went on Okcupid and found surprises many gay would not respond, I got harassing emails from gay men, a few gay men did go out on dates had sex and never heard from them again. So I thought OK that’s it no gay men. Luckily someone did contact me a gay guy who didn’t care, he didn’t understand but listened. And I listened to his ordeal of having been put through gay reparative therapy. It was nice to have that intimacy if only for a month. When we “broke up” he found another guy I found a bisexual girl.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Analog
      Analog

      @Mat: That’s awful. I don’t know any gay people who would deny the very existence of bisexuality. Let alone a therapist, who really should know better.
      It sounds like your girlfriend was unlucky enough to find a therapist who was not only bigoted but deeply unprofessional.
      It seems to me that the problem isn’t that there are idiots who judge you or us negatively, because that will always be the case sadly.
      The issue is ultimately about fighting for equal rights.
      For a world where the majority treat a same sex couple just as they would treat an opposite sex couple. A person who is attracted to the same sex (to whatever degree) in the same way they would treat a person who is attracted to the opposite sex.
      A world where a bisexual man, for instance, can walk down the street holding his boyfriend’s hand without people staring or laughing or calling him names, etc, without treating him any differently than when he walks down the street holding his girlfriend’s hand.

      We’ll always have to put up with the minority of bigots in the world, but in terms of changing the culture and increasing widespread acceptance of same sex attraction, both gay and bisexual people should be united in that cause – the rest is academic, it seems to me.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Analog
      Analog

      @Jack: To be fair, there seems to be a lot of bigoted nonsense on this page from a minority of both gay and bi people claiming the other doesn’t exist and are practicing erasure of their sexuality.
      Or something. :/

      Aug 5, 2012 at 3:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jack
      Jack

      Which bisexuals are claiming that gays don’t exist? I don’t see that at all and I haven’t read any post that says that. I do however see gays and lesbians overreacting with biphobia at the fact that a lot of bisexuals either identify as gay or lesbian or have at one point before coming out as bisexual.

      I also see lots of posts by trolls who are spewing biphobia who all write the same way.

      I agree with you that bisexuals and gays should be united and that there’s nothing wrong with a man or woman being bisexual just like there’s nothing wrong with a man or woman being gay or lesbian.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • UsualPlayers
      UsualPlayers

      These comments all seem fake from my experience with the gay, bi and trans people that I know. Just saying. I think many of these comments are just a few posters saying the same things on both sides under different screen names.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @DJ: So does that mean you won’t hit on me for sex? Great! And I only turned my computer on an hour ago, I haven’t posted as anybody else. That always puzzles me as a “criticism” here. There are lots and lots and lots of people who disagree with you.

      @Mat: Thank you for a thoughtful reply. I’ll say, to be very general, that we “Kinsey-6″ gay guys tend to be very VERY focused on sex, at least at first. Then if the sexual relationship clicks, we get to know each other better. That tends to be just a result of basic untamed male sexuality, like it or not. (Of course, there are always self-hating homophobes who think this is horrible and are on an endless crusade to turn us all into women, emotionally.)

      When I was in my 20s my vague sense about bi guys was that they tended to want something different than that; they’d want to have coffee and talk and talk and talk, etc. (zzzz) – i.e. when I was basically just horny and wanted to get off.

      There is nothing inherently wrong with either approach.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • UsualPlayers
      UsualPlayers

      @Jack: I think they are using bisexual to broadly include the cult of queer thinkers who claim sexuality, including being gay or straight, is liquid and that we are all capable of controlling the gender that we are attracted to.

      Its less a comment here or about bisexuality saying than it is a confusion by some here about who is making such statements. They are really referring to queer theorist types rather than bisexuals.

      Part of the problem here with many of the fake comments is that they aren’t really well thought out. So bisexuals are confused with queer “sexuality is fluid” arguments. The interesting thing is that this is an idea that’s been previously pushed by Queerty- that sexuality is liquid. The site knows from prior controversy that it gets a lot of comments.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Dumb bi’s: “Dumb bi’s”?

      ???

      LOL!

      Now let’s see if anyone’s idiotic enough to retaliate with a homophobic comment using the nick “Stupid gays” – or some similarly pathetic handle.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Summer Night
      Summer Night

      @DJ: Oh please, you’re the only troll here. Unlike you i don’t have several sock accounts.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      Wow. Once again bisexuality threads get overrun by haters from both sides. This is some crazy shit, and another phenomenon analogous to this is the colorism issue in non-white communities. It’s a lot like this.
      What I will say is that bisexuals have the option of cloaking themselves in heterosexual privilege in ways that are unavailable to homosexuals. This can cause a lot of resentment and jealousy in homosexuals. Another thing is that “bisexual” is a poor tag, because it implies some sort of equally intense, equally constant attraction for (or complete binary switching between) the two genders. That’s not the case. Some people who identify as bisexual do indeed feel equally attracted to either gender, or switch binary like from homo to hetero attraction. But just as true are bisexuals who skew more towards one gender than another, or feel ambiguous attractions throughout there lives with no rhyme or reason between genders.
      And of course, you have the classic manoeuvre lots of gay people make when inching out of the closet by declaring themselves bisexual at first, then owning their gay/lesbianness later on when they feel more secure. Often, these are the very gay people most derisive of bisexuality because they think all self-proclaimed bisexuals are just playing out their own lived experiences.
      All of these issues cloud the concept of bisexuality and make it a fraught issue even within the LGBTQ movement. Ultimately, we need to respect our fellow LGBT brethren by taking them at their word on what they identify as, and if they should declare a different identity in the future, we shouldn’t leap to condemn them for their “dishonesty” or “cowardice” but praise them for their courage and progress on their own journey of self-discovery. At the end of the day, L, G, B, T or any other acronym are just labels, it’s the people who adopt them that should matter.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Summer Night
      Summer Night

      @Geri: You can say whatever you want, that doesn’t change the fact he’s saying the truth. 9 bisexuals out of 10 end up in straight relationships. Most of them are extremely homophobic (not all) and constantly act superior because they’re not “faggots” like us.

      It’s basically impossible to have a LTR with a bi guy, that can happen but it’s VERY rare. They almost always choose the easy ride: the straight world.

      Do some research on the Internet, bi people in gay relationships are basically noexistent. They always talk about their “wifes” or “girlfriends”. I saw very little bisexuals open minded enough to get out of the straight world and try to have a real relationship with someone of the same gender. So why gay people should fight for them? They’re not fighting for us most of the time and the idea of having a same-sex partner repulses them.

      Not ALL bisexuals are like that, i know. But they’re still a majority.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Max the Communist
      Max the Communist

      What a shitstorm!

      For my part, I totally withdraw and apologize for my comment on Mika, because it is an instance of gay erasure. Sorry to all who were offended by my gross insensitivity.

      As a bisexual, I fully acknowledge that many lesbians and gay men come out as bi before they finally accept they are gay/lesbian. It muddies the waters for me and makes it harder for me to convince straight/gay people who I really am, but I understand. It was hard and scary to come out as gay/lesbian. You needed my identity as a stepping stone.

      Can you face the fact that it sometimes goes the other way? Some–not all–some people come out as gay or lesbian before they can admit to or discover that their sexuality is fluid and open to more than one gender. Can you possibly imagine how scary and depressing it might be to face both straight and gay people who tell you that you don’t exist, are fooling yourself, are cowardly and just can’t face your true gayness, and, maybe, are even a little too greedy or kinky or polymorphously perverse to be accepted? Would you believe that, on top of all the standard biphobia, we have even met with severe moral judgement from gays and lesbians? I mean, facing down a straight, fundamentalist homophobe with that is one thing–that’s standard–but to get that from someone gay really messes with your head!

      For my part, the majority of bi men and bi women I know are activists and are more sensitive–far more sensitive than me sometimes. But I know the greater majority of bis out there may not get politically involved. So, if some bi guy shows up at your bar and claims he’s more manly than you because he sticks his dick in a twat, please kick him in the ass–because that’s what I would do. And tell him he doesn’t do the bi community any kind of service running around telling the gay/lesbian community that they are really bi.

      I take homophobia seriously. I hope you take biphobia seriously. It’s not just a few bad apples in the gay and lesbian community. It’s a culturally endemic thing, like homophobia and transphobia. Ultimately, most biphobia from straight people is just a continuation of homophobia, but biphobia in the gay and lesbian community is a reaction to the homophobic treatment they have received.

      Not wanting to date us is one thing. Not acknowledging that biphobia is just as much a problem as homophobia or transphobia makes us–the LGBT–easier marks from our enemies.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 4:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LadyL
      LadyL

      First: Congratulations to Mika on deciding to just say it already. Feels good, doesn’t it? No more coyness and evasions and all the self-loathing that inevitably accompanies it. I know; I’ve been there. Fear will do that to ya every time.
      *
      I have to say, I truly feel for every bisexual man and woman who endures being misunderstood and mistrusted because they happen to have the capacity for real attraction to, and love with, indivduals of both sexes. Having constantly to defend your life is beyond unfair.
      That said, I’m inclined to agree with posters here who insist we be able to acknowledge the historical reality of gay men and women–especially public people like Mika, Freddie Mercury and Elton John–who used a bisexual persona as a way of hiding a scary truth from themselves and others, or to test public (and industry) acceptance before finally finding the courage to openly acknowledge themselves as gay. Given that this seems to have been Mika’s journey, that is a legitimate conversation to have here, and we should be able to have it without getting our heads handed to us for the effort.
      *
      I am a 50-something woman who is black. I am also a lesbian. The second sentence took me a hellishly long time to be able to say out loud. In my time I have experienced, alternately, being denounced by my black brothers and sisters for being gay, being dissed by my white brothers and sisters (gay and straight) for being black, and being disrepected by men who like having sex with women but don’t like women very much as people. (There is nothing more dangerous than an insecure straight male who thinks of lesbianism as sexy playacting for his benefit–or worse, sees himself as “the cure.”) Trust me, there is nothing “trendy” about being different in a world that still insists on a non-threatening conformity.
      *
      Gay, Lesbian, Bi or Trans, the road to an honest life is seldom easy for any of us.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LadyL
      LadyL

      @Max the Communist: What a classy post, Max! Thanks, for sharing this.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • UsualPlayers
      UsualPlayers

      @Max the Communist: Interesting comment. Thanks for posting it.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Max the Communist:
      “Only time will tell whether Mika is gay or whether he’s having a Cynthia Nixon moment–calling himself gay because bisexual identification doesn’t get him much respect.”

      Personally I thought that was one of the best comments anyone has made here. I don’t think you should apologize for it. It is not “gay erasure” at all.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 5:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      What these idiot biphobic gays don’t realize is that a person who is gay or lesbian can be a bisexual activist, and a bisexual person can be a bisexual activist and for gay rights too.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 6:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stephen
      Stephen

      Thank you Max the Communist. Yes you are correct about biphobia being widespread among gays and lesbians.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 6:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cry me an f'ing river
      Cry me an f'ing river

      Waaaaah! Us bisexuals have it so hard! Waaaaaah! We have to deal with so much biphobia! Waaaaaah! We have it harder than gays and lesbians! Waaaaaah!

      Aug 5, 2012 at 6:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MoJo
      MoJo

      Please! Dogs know this lil bitch is Queer!

      Aug 5, 2012 at 6:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Summer Night
      Summer Night

      @Max the Communist: Congratulations for being one of the very rare bis on this topic to have been able to make an intelligent and sensitive post.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 7:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • HashTagJames
      HashTagJames

      I love my bisexual friends and am always ALWAYS there for them, but can the bi community be humble enough to grasp and educate themselves on the gay community? GAY HISTORY? How it’s like being gay in America? Can you all register these things and consider them before telling gay people how bad they are?
      Do you even realize WHAT gay people are going through in this country?
      Not ONE bisexual poster above acknowledged the gay struggle and why we’re frustrated. Some bisexuals made fun of it. The two sexualities are very different, and with that difference comes a difference in treatment and being gay means no matter who you fall in love with, you’ll be persecuted for it. That’s not always the case with bisexuals, and yet we don’t see an understanding of that from the bisexual community.
      To get understanding you have to give a little understanding

      Aug 5, 2012 at 8:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • StaceyDiva
      StaceyDiva

      @LadyL: Well said! What I’m noticing here is very vividly, bisexuals can recount instances where gays and lesbians came out as gays and lesbians but then came to realize they are bisexual. Bisexuals repeatedly are sharing those accounts, and proudly so, but we gays want to share our observations, of many many GAY people coming out as bisexual before realizing they are gay … And we’re told thats inappropriate. See the double standards people are tired of here?
      If an artist comes out as gay, after earlier noting being bisexual, then the bisexual community badgers them and in turn is actually badgering being gay. They are doing exactly what they accuse others of… Defining who someone else is. Yet, there’s also FAR more cases of people pretending to be bi, when they are in actuality gay and come to realize it. And we’ve all known many people in our lives like this and SHOULD be able to talk about that in peace. But bisexuals seem to only care for their side being aired. That’s not a conversation, that’s a monologue

      Aug 5, 2012 at 8:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Conner
      Conner

      The bisexual approach in this entire thread is pretty flawed, in my opinion.

      Making generalized statements about every gay an lesbian.
      Putting down the entire community.
      Making comments to gays like “YOU PEOPLE”
      Laughing off homophobia as hysteria
      And blaming every gay person for your issues

      I’m afraid many of you project these thoughts in your actions and treatment of gay people in real life, and judging by your irrational disdain, bias and tone, it’s very clear you do. You probably do treat gays encounter as beneath you, if not defensively. Is it any wonder there’s tension within the two communities? Could it all be possible bisexuals harbor and contribute to that tension? According to the bi posters above, that’s impossible, because they are flawless, hold no responsibility, share no role, and it’s all the gay man/womens fault.

      Bisexuals approach a group of people who are public enemey number 1 in america, gays, not with sensisity, understanding, kindness, and bridging a gap, but with defiance, generalizations, coupled attempting to shame them. I assure you, bisexual community, that this approach will not work. I’d be willing to sign my own car off and ensure that with the above method, the hostility will intensify. That’s on you, the gay community currently is pre occupied with enough adversity on their plate to help you figure out a respectful way to approach this topic. But if you’re bisexual and can’t see from all these times this topic comes up that your current mission statement of belittling gays while screaming “what about us bisexuals?” is flawed. Then I assure you, your platform will get nowhere. For your own sake, reevaluate it.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 8:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evan
      Evan

      HashTagJames-Excuse me, “Gay history”? It’s queer/LGBT history. A bisexual transwoman started the stonewall riots, a bisexual woman started LGBT pride parades and events that are held annually worldwide, a bisexual man opened up a lot of bars and sex clubs in NYC that catered towards bisexual and gay men and did so for decades and the ones that are open still to this day do, a bisexual man came out about how being LGBT in the military and out about your sexuality earned you a discharge and military prison sentence long before anyone gay or lesbian did, and even before all of those watershed events in the history of LGBT rights a bisexual man started the Matachine society or an early LGBT rights group.

      Oscar Wilde was bisexual, not gay/homosexual even if people who practice bisexual erasure want to claim him as being “gay” since they’re biphobic and monosexist. Even Sappho was bisexual and not Lesbian despite how some Lesbian women want to claim her as being lesbian. Someone else mentioned Freddie Mercury being bisexual since he was and of course someone claimed that “oh no, no, no he was gay!” and that’s bisexual erasure.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 9:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Quinn
      Quinn

      Conner-S T F U troll we all know it’s you who is a troll writing tons of biphobic hate speech and pretending to be a gay person. All of those things you claimed bisexuals are doing in this blog post-which they are not-are what gay posters or just you since you post under tons of different names, are doing to bisexuals, go spread your hate speech somewhere else and join the Westboro Baptist church, vote for Ronmey, or go support the Bachmanns and their ex gay clinic since you are on the same level as these people only you’re gay.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 9:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Barry
      Barry

      StacyDiva-The only double standard here is when gay posters or trolls pretending to be gays will claim that biphobia does not exist, that biphobia is not as bad as homophobia, that even gays like myself who call out other gays as being bigoted since they are biphobic are somehow traitors or homophobic, and sadly these gay bigots think that they’re not being bigoted when they’re just as bad if not worse than homophobic straight people.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 9:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @Quinn: As Conner said, “Bisexuals approach a group of people who are public enemey number 1 in america, gays, not with sensisity, understanding, kindness, and bridging a gap, but with defiance, generalizations, coupled attempting to shame them.”

      Well, “Quinn,” thanks for a bitter, vitriolic, irrational post that proves every single point Conner made. But you’ve done that before, using the same wording, under other names! No wonder you’re so obsessed with sock puppetry when you’re doing it yourself.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 9:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jamal
      Jamal

      I just logged on here and am reading these comments for the first time. I’m also a long time poster, and many can vouch for that. It’s troubling seeing bisexuals call anyone who gives a differing point a troll. I’m sure I’ll be called a troll for even making this post, even though I’ve been in Montreal up until a few hours ago for work, but I’m a troll too for daring go against Bi Inc. Why are the bisexuals calling anyone with a rebuttal a troll? Do you all truly feel you’re above criticism? that everyone has to agree with you in uniform?
      The level of intolerance displayed by the bisexual in not so much even willing to LISTEN to others is enough for me to not want to throw in my 2 cents in all this. Why bother? you’ll get labeled a ‘troll’ if you don’t march lock step with the bi committee.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 9:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Martin-Jersey
      Martin-Jersey

      @Brandon: To this poster, Brandon, are you even hearing yourself? You sound unstable in your haste anger. You arguments make no rational sense, and you’re extremely quick to call everyone a troll, robot, or the same person. Do you really believe every single poster is the same person? Many of these posters are identifiable posters that have contributed to numerous articles on here, and have disagreed. I’d know, I’ve disagreed with some and agreed with others.

      I agree with someone else in that YOUR approach of almost extreme militance does so much to harm your side. I’m surprised you haven’t been called out by other bisexuals to throw in the towel and depart the convo. You’re enhancing it none, and actually turning many against your side. You are name calling, hovering over, and convinced yourself you’re arguing with the same person. Is that your way of make a concrete argument or do you call people who disagree with you trolls because you have no leg to stand on in your own argument?
      Now like a predictable child in a tangent, you’ll surely call me a troll as well. And you claim you’re ‘older’ Good Lord, some people’s parents didn’t know how to parent. You must have been a real pleasure when you didn’t get what you wanted as a child. Children will children.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 9:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      “Bisexuals approach a group of people who are public enemy number 1 in america…”

      wow. really?

      next time i’m in danger of being beaten or stabbed leaving the club with my boy i will take heart in the certain knowledge that the phobes will firstly take the trouble to assess where i stand on the kinsey scale. thugs with clip boards are so much more civilised.

      however, i suspect with them it’s the one drop rule: we iz ALL jus fags… with the same fate envisaged.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 9:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Reality Bites
      Reality Bites

      The bisexual community has an unsettling dislike of gay community, gay culture, gay men, gay women, and anything that is under the umbrella of gay. That is their heteronormative, hetrosexual privilige that kicks in when approaching any discussion about gays. They truly resent gay even being a catagory or people or culture. They analyze and antagonize the gay community, be it the social scene, our various taste in music, culture, activism. They dislike it all.

      The bisexual community will tell you and very often try to convince you that we’re all bisexual, in an almost agenda driven way, they tell gay men and women to consider bisexuality and be more ‘open minded’ why? because to them being gay is flawed. They then criticize every minute detail of the gay community to plant that same seed of doubt and disdain in the mind of the impressionable gay man/women to get them to consider being more central, and more distant from gays.

      It happens often, it happens frequently, and in my opinion, it’s far FAR more dangerous than the heterosexual conversion therapy program. The bisexual does not want you to be gay, much less there be a -gay- and is willing to go to any extent to make that happen. Including but not limited to the destruction of the gay identity. That is their heterosexual entitlement and homophobia that motivates this feeling. They may sleep with the same gender, but they resent all notions of gay, and are dead set to make sure you do too.

      The bisexual community will not rest until there is no gay identity, gay community, or gay people. I promise most of you will remember this post and it will come back to sound familiar with more exposure you have with the bisexual community.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • C.L
      C.L

      @Reality Bites:
      While I don’t agree with everything you said, I do think we need to have a conversation about the seeming fixations many bi people have about bashing on the gay community and trying to tell gay people to ‘experiment’ Nothing, and I mean nothing gets me more angry to an actual point of violence, than a bisexual telling me ‘but how do you know you’re gay unless you’ve tried it’
      Honestly? when that’s thrown around, and it often is by bi people to gay people, I totally feel bi people are fair game to be attacked verbally and have every nasty stereotype about them thrown right in their faces. Oh and I’ll do it, and have done it, and so have many people I’ve known. The whole converting of sexuality is a very touchy subject for many gay men and women considering where we’ve come from to be at a place of peace with our sexuality. the last thing any of us want to deal with is a bisexual telling us to reconsider our sexuality. it’s pretty evil, they know exactly what they are doing, and again, when you approach a gay person with that mess you deserve every back lash you get.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AlexxT
      AlexxT

      When gay people talk about homophobia, bisexuals approach them with
      “No such thing as homophobia, because as bi people we experience it too”

      When gay people talk about gay history, and gay historical anecdotes, bisexuals say
      “GAY HISTORY?! There’s NO such thing as gay history. None. It’s actually bi history because everyone who has contributed in progress for gays was bi. You all owe us a thank you”

      When gay people talk about the number of people who identified as bisexual before realizing they were gay, bisexuals respond with
      “BIPHOBIC! don’t mention that. but let’s now talk about how many of you gays are bisexual. that’s not inappropriate.”

      Yeah, reading this exchange, one thing is glaringly obvious, you bisexuals are the most self serving, egotistical, narcissistic demographic of any other group of people on this planet. None is as one dimensional and self revolved as you are. May you continue to be as alienated as you deserve to be. It’s no wonder you’re on the fringes of both the gay AND straight community, feeling small and lonesome. You’ve brought it upon yourselves with your astounding ego, arrogance and entitlement. You walked right into it.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeff P.
      Jeff P.

      C.I. Reality bites is a troll they’ve been posting biphobic crap all last night and today. Or perhaps you’re just a troll replying to a different post that you made which is what you seem to be doing CI.

      What’s actually REALLY evil are the people who are biphobic and gay, even though they should know what it’s like to have someone persecute them or not believe them about their sexuality. Talk about hypocrisy.

      Get help for your rage and how you want to get violent, you sound nuts. I have friends who are gay men who told me how they have had sex with women or how as gay men they did not know they were gay until they had sex with a woman or attempted to since the experience just showed them how they’re not sexually attracted to women at all. It’s like this with lesbians as well I know some lesbians who told me how they had no idea they were lesbian until as a teenager or young adult they tried sex with a man.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeff P.
      Jeff P.

      AlexT STFU you’re a troll and it’s obvious. The person someone wrote about as a part of bisexual history are (big surprise!) actually bisexual. Go join the Westboro baptist church since you and your other names on here are full of rage and hate.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Some Random Guy
      Some Random Guy

      Q: How many bisexuals does it take to change a lightbulb?

      A: well that takes a long time because bisexuals hate the thought that the lightbulb has to “change.” Something about the concept bothers them, ha ha.

      But the answer is, ten. One to shame some gay people into changing it and bitch at them about “biphobia” while they do it. And nine to write about it on “LGBT” websites!

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeff P.
      Jeff P.

      Give it up troll now posting as some random guy nobody cares about you, you need a life, and you’re a bigot.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      Queerty comment threads. As insightful as ever. If anyone wonders why the LGBTQ movement so frequently flounders around, failing on so many levels, these pages give a big clue.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • J.T
      J.T

      Biphobia! Biphobia! Biphobia!

      If I never hear that word again, it’s too soon. In fact, I’ve heard so many bisexuals whine about it in this thread that the word has COMPLETELY lost all meaning. Congrats, next time I hear someone say “biphobic” I’ll just unintentionally giggle, thinking back to this trhead, and the over the top dramatics of the O so opressed bisexuals…who, surpringly enough, only care about bisexuals.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ColoGay
      ColoGay

      Why is anyone who doesn’t want to be intimate with bisexuals, doesn’t want to subscribe to the bisexual meme that we are all bisexual like that, that doesn’t agree that there is much of a level of biphobia biphobic. I agree, that word is pretty much laughable considering how flippantly it’s being thrown around on here. Anyone who disagrees with your exagerated sense of entitlement is not phobic and it’s not a phobia. If it makes you feel better to peg it as such, and helps you sleep better, go ahead. You all just sound angry because you ARE bisexual? that’s your own deal. Not the responsibility of gay people. Remember, only YOU are responsible for your happiness. A point that many bisexuals just can’t seem to get, unless the entire world comes out and declares that they are bisexual too. That will never happen, so might as well go to Plan B.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • As usual
      As usual

      Queerty posts a pretty biphobic laced article, and the trolls and biphobic gays erupt into a total shitstorm of hate towards bisexuals.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • As usual
      As usual

      I agree Hamoboy. As someone else wrote our enemies would love to hear that LGBTQ people fight amongst each other and that we’re NOT united at all and are instead at each other’s throats.

      You don’t really see this among straight people.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • As usual
      As usual

      Also hamoboy I’m not sure who the biphobic trolls posting on this thread think they are fooling?

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rasheed
      Rasheed

      I don’t see gay people come out and question people’s sexuality when they come out or when they are straight, the level I see bisexuals analyze EVERYONE’S sexuality to the point of ridiculous annoyance. STFU already you whiney wack jobs. Someone says they are gay, and you have to write a research paper on some wack job mumbo jumbo psycho babble how they aren’t REALLYYY gay, because once your professor said we’re all bisexual like you, so now anytime someone says ‘nope, pretty sure I’m not bi. but thanks’ we get the bandwagon bis come out and make a decleration for us all, cramming their bisexuality down our throats, annoying the SHT out of everyone. You wanna be bi? and scream your bisexuality? and go hunting for other bis like you? Good for you buddy. Go for it. but STmotherFU about telling the world that they need to take your lead and be bi too. psuedo intellects with a chip on their shoulder make for some annoying @$$ mother effers.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • As usual
      As usual

      Rasheed-Yet both gays and heteros feel the need to bash bisexuals, claim that when someone comes out as bisexual that they’re lying-particularly if they once identified as hetero/gay or lesbian, and coming out as bisexual is no more “cramming it down your throats” than coming out as gay or an LGBT person is cramming it down the throats of someone who is hetero even though heterosexuals will claim that all lesbians, Bis, gays, and trans people do this. Either way you’re a troll and a bigot, and not fooling anyone with your multiple names.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ScaryRussianHeather
      ScaryRussianHeather

      @Evan:

      “Someone else mentioned Freddie Mercury being bisexual since he was and of course someone claimed that “oh no, no, no he was gay!” and that’s bisexual erasure.”

      Actually you’re quoting Mary Austin. She’s the one who said he was gay. Mary – Freddie’s lifetime love who he could not be with intimately because she was a woman. I gave you the link so you could see it in her own words on video.

      I think she’d probably know. Or in not watching her video are you guilty of gay erasure? Willful ignorance doesn’t further your argument.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      @Rasheed: Seriously? You’ve never heard of the phrase “Bi now, gay later”? You seriously believe that gays/lesbians have NEVER questioned somebody’s sexuality? Have you seen the comments on ANY article regarding Tom Cruise, John Travolta, pre-out Anderson Cooper and the rest? REALLY? I’d like you to read the comments on the article that talks about Mika coming out as bi in 2009: http://www.queerty.com/mika-finally-caves-to-the-pressure-and-comes-out-as-bisexual-20090922/ and then have several seats while you process how everyone immediately jumps on his bisexuality as a front.
      I have NEVER told a gay person that they were “really bisexual, but in denial”, and neither have I heard any of my bisexual friends (admittedly, most are women, male bisexuals are a bit rarer) do this. I’m wondering where this paranoia about bisexuals converting gays comes from, especially since gay men seem to outnumber bisexual men by quite a margin.
      And to all the commenters, if you’re going to blast “the other side” for hatefulness, please reread your comment a few more times before posting it.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @As usual: Well, “As usual,” or should I say “Quinn,” “DJ,” or “Jeff P.,” I’m not sure who you think YOU’RE fooling.

      But if you read Hamoboy’s comment at #155, you’ll see he makes a few negative points about attitudes bisexuals tend to use in debate so I guess that makes him also biphobic and a troll and a bigot who should go to Westboro baptist church, blah blah blah…

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @hamoboy: Have to agree with you, we do hear it all the time the other way – “bi now, gay later” but I’ve never heard a bisexual man talk in those terms, i.e. that gay men are “really” bisexual or something. That might be some theory floating around in academia but in real life, you don’t hear that.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      @the other Greg: I made a “negative” point about bisexuals, but it was completely unrelated to “attitudes bisexuals tend to use in debates”. Please don’t twist my words to your purpose.
      Bisexuals accessing heterosexual privilege is a thing. A common thing in a heterosexist world that we live in. If you have access to both sorts of sexuality, but one type is a lot more hated and dangerous than the other, many people will take the path of least resistance. I’m just acknowledging a reality.
      And in my comment here @No.192 I acknowledge the reality of bisexual erasure. As straight people erase gay people and their experience, as surely as shit trickles down gay people have a widespread tendency to do the same to bisexuals. Anyone denying this is delusional.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Art Smith
      Art Smith

      I think what many gays and lesbians observe from bisexuals is a need to erase and eliminate gay identity and the general bracket of being gay. Many of us are proud to be gay, proud of our community, and don’t appreciate another group attempting to nuetralize that, or make us be as critical of being gay as bisexuals thrive off being. No thank you. Many gays you’ll meet are very proud to be gay and the history gay people have, and don’t at all appreciate being told to distance themselves from that or questionned about who they are. That’s the first place the bi community goes wrong. There is a subtext of homophobia in that.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      @the other Greg: But thanks for agreeing with me ;p We should be commenting to reach some common ground instead of just bitching.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      @Art Smith: “I think what many gays and lesbians observe from bisexuals is a need to erase and eliminate gay identity and the general bracket of being gay.”
      Seriously, citation needed. Where is this erasure? So far it just sounds like cries of “reverse racism” or “reverse sexism”. The fact is that most straight people (and therefore the majority of the population) perceive human sexuality as very binary. Bisexuality (especially male bisexuality) is always looked upon as suspect, temporary, and damaged. In my own lived experience, male bisexuals also tend to be much rarer than male homosexuals. So I am wondering where these powerful and numerous bisexuals are that are erasing your gayness?

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @HashTagJames:
      I am bisexual and when I had a long term boyfriend I was punched and my apartment vandalized. I know SOME of the struggle and have experienced homophobia since 17. And I acknowledge my current privelege of walking down the street with my girlfriend having her arm in my arm without feeling like a target. But what I don’t get is “bisexual community” I am 40 years old and only until recently has there been an actual out bisexual community. Before there were a smattering of people here and there mostly closeted or invisible in opposite sex relationships. I have had few peers and few mentors but luckily I found them over the years like meeting Susie Bright and her husband Jon. The issues here are actually deeper than the gay community knows. I never felt apart of the gay community except through my boyfriends. I LOVE gay and have always accepted gay men and women but the fact is on a university campus and my job I can and have been harassed by certain ignorant gay men. The fact is my gay peers were not harassed in these environments. Finally at age 40 I have a bisexual community it is emerging. It is filled with loving accepting men and women cis and trans.

      None of the negativity of “bisexual community ” makes sense to me. I am bisexual and have sought out others like me and have found only positive people but mostly throughout my life I could not even find community.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @hamoboy: I was being a bit euphemistic because thought it would have sounded much more negative if I’d put it “Hamoboy made a negative point about bisexuals”! But if you’re saying it was exactly that, what can I say but okay.

      I agree, don’t really get the vitriol here.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      Art Smith you’re just a troll spewing out the same biphobia. There are gays and lesbians like myself who are not biphobic like myself and others; but you’re not one of us.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @the other Greg: Hahaha that is hilarious believe me I have experienced a few moments of unbridled gay sex but it is hilariously true about a few bi guys I know including myself I date men as if they are women! And think that flowers are brought on the second date and sex will hopefully happen on the third.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Max the Communist
      Max the Communist

      @Reality Bites: Now this is hate speech. Claiming that the whole bi community is out to convert gays to straight and that we are more dangerous than Exodus International or any other ex-gay group is absolutely, positively misrepresentation and falsehood about our activist work. There’s no reality to what you claim, Reality Bites, and that it’s permitted, even here on Queerty, shows just how woefully ignorant the gay community is about our intentions and activism.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      @Mat: AMEN! I’m in my early 20’s and I’ve only met 2 other male bisexuals. I’m curious, for one other guy (of the two) and I, we were attracted to girls from early puberty, and found an attraction to other guys towards the end of our teenage years. Is that similar to your experience, or was it different?

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      Hamoboy and Max the Communist-Art Smith and reality bites, and probably the other Greg are just all the same person trolling and posting vile biphobic hate speech about bisexuals and about gay men like myself who are against biphobia.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      I’ve long thought that the “ex-gay” therapies are operating under the (mistaken) assumption that all humans are implicitly bisexual, and can be manipulated, through means fair and foul, into heterosexuality. Maybe that’s why these gay commenters are going all aggro at bisexuals? Because they think the bisexual movement is somehow responsible for the ex-gay ministries?

      Maybe some bisexual religious zealots did start all that crap off, but that in no way reflects on the rest of bisexual people, and the bisexual people within the LGBT movement who work towards equal rights. That would be like blaming Larry Craig’s antics on gay people.

      Aug 5, 2012 at 11:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @Reality Bites: “The bisexual community has an unsettling dislike of gay community, gay culture, gay men, gay women, and anything that is under the umbrella of gay”

      remind us exactly when you received the official press statement from the “The bisexual community”.clearly you like to deal in facts and never mere prejudiced opinions so i’ve no reason to doubt that you did indeed receive — en masse — the thoughts and intentions of these monsters.

      thank you for your invaluable input.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 12:03 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @hamoboy: hi my first sexual dreams were of women and first crushes were on girls but then at 14 I had a crush on a guy. I probably would have over looked my same sex feelings but a friend in high school was gay and asked if I was bisexual. When I said yes. We came out together. HOWEVER then I had sex with a woman, sex with a man, and then sex with a woman again after highschool. When I went to art school I was attracted to women as intensely as men and ironically fell in love with a Lesbian who then discovered she was bisexual – we did not know about each other. So over the years I shifted back and fourth but more often towards women – because I have an emotional pull towards women, and my longest term boyfriend was actually very effeminate so I felt a similar emotional pull.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 12:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Max the Communist
      Max the Communist

      @hamoboy: As a matter of fact, the ex-gay ministries and NARTH, the ex-gay psychologist’s organization that gives them professional cover, maintain that there is no such thing as a “homosexual” (or “bisexual”). They maintain that there are only “broken” heterosexuals who need to be fixed.

      The psychological/psychiatric school that believed every human child was born responding to all sorts of sexual stimuli–aka polymorphously perverse–were the Freudians. They are the ones from whom we get the meme that “everyone’s bisexual”–and they are the ones who, in therapy, tried to get their homosexual patients back to a preconscious bisexual state, so that they could make them be straight or at least live straight lives. This was before homosexuality was removed from the APA’s mental illness manual, the DSM III, in 1973.

      So the concept of bisexuality has been used by predominantly straight mental health professionals against gays and lesbians–but the majority of bisexuals were not behind that.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 12:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: “remind us exactly when you received the official press statement from the “The bisexual community”.

      See Brandon’s cut-and-paste manifesto at #11. He even re-posted it somewhere later in the thread.

      That’s apparently from the Bisexual Central Committee or should I say Politboro.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 12:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      @Mat: Thanks for sharing!

      Aug 6, 2012 at 12:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @Max the Communist: This Freudian idea is also greatly misunderstood. Freud did not try to change homosexuals but the Neo-Freudians under Anna Freud did, but then again Anna Freud was against sexuality in general! As far as the early Freudian-Jungian idea of bisexuality it is an abstract idea that talks about feme and masculine aspects of the psyche – it is far far more nuanced and can not be intelligently discussed in a comment on Queerty.

      BUT just so everyone knows my “bisexual agenda” is to affirm BOTH my same sex feelings and love and my opposite sex feelings and love.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 12:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DoritosJunkie
      DoritosJunkie

      Bisexuals are nothing more than a group who love to critique the gay community. You’ll never see them speak well of gays. Have you seen bisexuals in mixed company with heterosexuals. They will trash gays on a constant basis. Don’t think that is by accident either. It’s part of their propaganda. Demonize gays to make themselves look better with heteros. Seen it many times myself. And these posts by bisexuals who have nothing but negative generalizations about all gays confirm it. I’d advise all gays keep their eyes opened about this tactic

      Aug 6, 2012 at 1:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jarod
      Jarod

      @Mat: Yeah, but do you do that while not affirming those who strictly have same sex attractions? It seems many bisexuals can’t accept that many of us, heck MOST of us lGBT identified have define ourselves as strictly involved with the same sex and have that right. You all need to both accept and respect that.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 1:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      My hope and prayer for the future is that gay lesbians trans people and bisexual people are all accepted and understood and heard by each other and by the heterosexual majority. That someday we are all allowed to love whomever we want without fear. That All people in LGBT land and straight people work together to make that happen. That someday we are all liberated without the fear of ridicule. That even straight men can hug each other in public without experiencing shame or fear of being seen as “gay”. Gay liberation can and in my opinion should be a grander vision of liberation of everyone. So that all are free from erotic shame and guilt and we can all love each other more freely and openly. That we also stop this inane fighting and realize that we can accomplish far more much quicker if we work together. And that we learn to LIVE and LOVE each other for our similarities and our differences. good night everybody.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 1:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @Jarod: Of course I accept that some people are exclusively gay. Also please know currently I am dating a woman BUT it is not a solid relationship we are dating others seeking a really good fit. I am still seeking my best friend, man or woman, trans man or woman. If I wind up in a same sex relationship I will be seen as 100% gay, even if that man is a trans man. But I don’t want my relationships with the women or men in my past to be seen as “a phase” or I was walking in some cloud of denial. I know exactly who I am. I fell in love with a man once it may happen again – even though most of my relationships have been with the opposite sex, I am still very interested in gay rights as they affect me. But believe me there has been some really painful experiences from certain gay men in the past – I don’t blame the entire gay community for a few biggotted gay men. I got your back will you get mine?

      Aug 6, 2012 at 1:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kurt
      Kurt

      Finally the other Greg admits that he’s the gay male biphobic troll who is spamming this thread with biphobia and hate speech under many names. I’m gay and I don’t want anything to do with biphobic gays like yourself since you give all of us gay men and LGBT people a bad name.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 1:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @the other Greg: reaching, much?
      no, what i read in that long list was a rather over-earnest but well meaning attempt at trying to highlight the peculiar problems and needs of a particular group. i don’t necessarily know if i agree with everything on that list. and my opinion wasn’t canvased. all manner of activist groups draw up such lists to varying degrees of lucidity and representativeness. i’ve seen worse — frottage manifesto, anybody? nambla!!!

      what is more pertinent is the fact that you’re seemingly okay to interpret the concerns on that list as a “dislike of gay community, gay culture, gay men, gay women, and anything that is under the umbrella of gay”, that indeed is very telling.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 1:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BiTranswoman
      BiTranswoman

      Jarod-Check your privilege please! Most LGBT people do not exclusively have a same sex/gender attraction only gays and lesbians do, some trans people do but bisexuals and most Trans people do not-as most trans people both Transmen and Transwomen have the sexual orientation of bisexual, and yes there are even Trans people who are hetero but they get a lot of shit too from bigoted gays and lesbians.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 1:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ramon H.
      Ramon H.

      The other Greg is a hypocrite and a troll. He does not speak for all gay men either. I’m gay and I’m OK with bisexuals and I don’t understand why some gays hate them? In another post on this site the other Greg wrote about how he finds “gay culture” to not be true or to be a silly thing he’s your typical gay man with self loathing at himself for being gay, and he’s a bigot towards bisexuals.

      Prince of Snarkness pointled out how the other Greg is just typing the same biphobia and hate speech on here as his other troll names are and have been for the past few days. The post by the Doritos troll was posted by Greg.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 1:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      @PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: Co-signed. There is dialogue, and then there is someone just plain not checking their privilege.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 1:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      Oops, meant to co-sign 219 (obvs why I mentioned privilege). I agree with you too Divkid, regardless.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 2:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • WillUK
      WillUK

      Russian Heather it’s a well known fact that Freddie Mercury is bisexual. Here in the UK we’ve known this for decades about him. While your youtube video has Mary Austin claiming that he was gay she’s also said many times, as Mercury did himself that he is bisexual.

      To claim that Mercury was gay is an example of bisexual erasure.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 2:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      re: bisexuals upgrading to heterosexual privilege class.

      the thing is, no OPENLY bisexual man can get anywhere near to attaining this mythical status. sure, closet cases may do (but, often pay for it psychologically. thankfully) and this is the EXACT SAME heterosexual privilege that closeted gays frequently avail themselves of; why then single out bi men? in the straight world the one-drop rule applies: we’re just the same f@gs…albeit they’ve noted that some of us have mutated in order to infect the good heterosexuals of the world with our gay diseases :/

      what i’ve discovered: out bisexual man getting sex from a gay man not a problem… getting same mans name on a joint mortgage, quite another matter.

      ?an openly bisexual man even getting sex from a women is gonna be a struggle (i don’t mean that to sound rapey) — unless, that is, you lie; or go a bit “specialist” online; which if that’s your thing, fine. but it’s not for everyone. ?in todays society what woman would choose, all things being equal, (and against the background noise of prejudice and slurs), to throw her lot in with a bisexual man when she could choose a straight man. how can a bi man hope to compete with a normal hetero “real” man when he’s already made to feel like he’s selling counterfeit defective goods. potentially diseased ones at that.

      ?even in these days of greater equality, announcing yourself an openly bisexual man is an heroic act — not withstanding some peoples initial misidentifications — special props should go out to those who *could* lay low under a cloak of heterosexual privilege, or are monogamous opposite sex married, but choose instead to throw their lot in with their queer brothers and sisters for the sake of our struggle as a whole.

      ?i’m not saying that bisexuals problems trump gay peoples problems; some things are a bit easier some things a bit worse. i’m just saying that bisexuals have a peculiar set of problems alongside the ones that already effect us both and that they don’t necessarily have it easier or the best of both worlds ..sometimes thy barely struggle to have enough of either world. all of our collective woes stem ultimately from the same poisoned well of homophobia.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 2:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @ScaryRussianHeather: You said:
      “Mary Austin says he was “a gay” in her own interview here at 7:53.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L36N4BKKir4&feature=related

      Actually in that video at 7:53. Mary Austin talks about Freddie “becoming a gay”

      & then you said: “He never switched over to any other women, either.”

      When in fact he clearly had at least one more significant relationship with a woman which was undoubtedly romantic and almost certainly sexual
      Freddie Mercury & Barbara Valentin
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBDQXT2al7k

      Describing Freddie Mercury as “bisexual” is rational. Jumping up and down and shouting: “No! Freddie was Gay, Gay, Gay!” is not.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 2:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      re: bisexuals upgrading to heterosexual privilege class.

      the thing is, no OPENLY bisexual man can get anywhere near to attaining this mythical status. sure, closet cases may do (but, often pay for it psychologically. thankfully) and this is the EXACT SAME heterosexual privilege that closeted gays frequently avail themselves of; why then single out bi men? in the straight world the one-drop rule applies: we’re just the same f@ggots…albeit they’ve noted that some of us have mutated in order to infect the good heterosexuals of the world with our gay diseases :/

      what i’ve discovered: out bisexual man getting sex from a gay man not a problem… getting same mans name on a joint mortgage, quite another matter.

      an openly bisexual man even getting sex from a women is gonna be a struggle (i don’t mean that to sound rapey) — unless, that is, you lie; or go a bit “specialist” online; which if that’s your thing, fine. but it’s not for everyone. ?in todays society what woman would choose, all things being equal, (and against the background noise of prejudice and slurs), to throw her lot in with a bisexual man when she could choose a straight man. how can a bi man hope to compete with a normal hetero “real” man when he’s already made to feel like he’s selling counterfeit defective goods. potentially diseased ones at that.

      even in these days of greater equality, announcing yourself an openly bisexual man is an heroic act — not withstanding some peoples initial misidentifications — special props should go out to those who *could* lay low under a cloak of heterosexual privilege, or are monogamous opposite sex married, but choose instead to throw their lot in with their queer brothers and sisters for the sake of our struggle as a whole.

      i’m not saying that bisexuals problems trump gay peoples problems; some things are a bit easier some things a bit worse. i’m just saying that bisexuals have a peculiar set of problems alongside the ones that already effect us both and that they don’t necessarily have it easier or the best of both worlds ..sometimes thy barely struggle to have enough of either world. all of our collective woes stem ultimately from the same poisoned well of homophobia.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 2:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      queerty stop auto-flagging me. please hurry and moderate and let only that last version go.

      you make it so hard to love you, queerty. sooo much pain for so little in return.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 2:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SoulFro
      SoulFro

      LOL at all the bisexuals pretending to be gay man all in hysteria over the “biphobia” in the gay community. Geez, you all can’t even stand admiting to be bisexual on a messageboard? you have to pretend to be gay to make your points? so pathetic.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 3:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lin Wu
      Lin Wu

      I also think it’s a little silly seeing the same bi poster pretending to be a gay person, who is so “shamed” by the gay communities ‘biphobia’ It’s a little laughable, and you’re trolling. You’ve been called out before in above posts by other gay posters. No gay person I know is neither passionate nor even familiar with this idea of ‘biphobia’ and even when they are, I can assure you, they really don’t care as much as these dramatic posts of self described gay men sticking up for bisexuals would have you believe. Why can’t you all be man enough/women enough to stand by your posts and sign off as bisexuals? Are you that calculating and sneaky? It’s silly. It’s obvious all these hilarious posts from supposed gay people who are appaled by the gay community are by bisexuals who have insecurity issues. Go seek a professional for that. The world is not your therapist.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 3:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JuniorNYC
      JuniorNYC

      I personally believe gay people should approach friendship with bisexuals with a certain level of caution and trepidation. I’m not suggesting the entire bi community is not to be trusted, but it’s a well known fact that runs amongst many gay circles around the world that the bisexual community has a hidden agenda to de-gay the world and society. They’ll start one by one with their friends. As highlighted by some personal accounts of roomates, coworkers, friends above, many of us have personally known bisexuals in our lives who attempted to get us to walk away from the gay community and resent the gay community as much as they do. They’ll make comments about the gay social scene, when you’re going out to gay clubs…they’ll make you feel guilty for it, knocking down gay men and gay women, constantly using a negative brush to paint the gay community with:
      What do you think their ultimate goal is? To get you to denounce your fellow gays and being gay just as they did.
      Now I ask you, how is a bisexual any different than the worst homophobe you know who equally bashes the gay community and wants to distance you from being identified as gay. Think about that, and remember that next time a bisexual person starts with their conversion program, and believe you me, most of them want nothing more to see this world rid itself of the idea of being gay.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 3:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @Mat: whoa! dude, i think i love you. seriously.

      if i told you i’m getting that paragraph tattooed across the width of my dick in bold helvetica 25 pt. would that help my cause? (and i’ll still have space for the lyrics of our favourite jeff buckley song) ; )

      Aug 6, 2012 at 3:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lisa
      Lisa

      You know what bisexual privilige looks like?

      Bisexuals will holds hands with their opposite sex partners WHILE at the same time they look down on same sex couples who show affection in public or hold hands.
      Bisexuals believe that their opposite sex relationships ARE better and more worthy than same sex relationships, and are generally put off at the sight of same sex couples holding hands or being an identifiable couple.
      That’s their heterosexual side creeping in every now & then, motivating their privilige and clearly many gays and lesbians HAVE been aware of it and won’t put up with that bigotry. You feel like because you’re “half hetero” that you can mistreat gays and look down upon a gay relatiobship? News flash, gays won’t put up with your ” 50% hetero privilige” just because you’re bi and think you can get away with it. Bisexuals have been the least tolerant people towards same sex relationships, and same sex love. They believe heterosexuality, and opposite sex relationships are normal, but really don’t like the sight of same sex companionship, love, and reallyyyyyyyyy don’t like that to be revealed in public!
      Clearly the gay community witnessed this sense of homophobia bisexuals constantly project, and want to have nothing to do with it.It’s not because you’re bisexual, so kindly put that card right in your back pocket. It’s because you all carry an attitude, the same attitude of superiority heterosexuals do, yet whats amusing is, while you look down on gays showing affection or holding hands, you all STILL sleep with the same sex too. Does it just annoy you that we’re proud to be gay and don’t reserve being gay as just a sexual fetish reserved for behind closed doors?

      Aug 6, 2012 at 3:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brent
      Brent

      WTF is up with all of these stupid trolls on here who don’t seem to understand that as gay men we can support bisexuals, be against biphobia and other forms of hate speech against LGBT people, and yet still support gay men and the gay/LGBT community as well too?

      My brother is bisexual and he doesn’t try to LOL “de gay” me or claim that I’m somehow not really gay or say that being a gay man or lesbian woman is bad. He also does not dislike gay or LGBT mixed crowd bars and clubs, when I’ve visited him we go out to them together. None of the other bisexual men and women I’ve met in all the decades I’ve been out do this either. Quit talking out of your ass the other Greg and all of your names you’re trolling under.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 3:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @Lisa: idiot. OBVIOUS idiot.

      this is the give away: “reallyyyyyyyyy” — you do like those multiple end letter runoffs don’t you sweetheart!
      now run along.
      seriously, i needs to be paid upfront if you want me to deal with your psychological disorder.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 4:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bi Pride
      Bi Pride

      As a bisexual man, I can be honest and say it’s unfortunate seeing this rift between our communities. Yes, the bi community has some work to do as well. We do have a built in set of perks that come with being bisexual, and that can manifest in a priviliged tude in some of us. It also doesn’t help when some bisexuals rub their noses in fem gay men or butch lesbians -that’s really no different than the most narrow minded hetero homophobe. Just because we’re bi doesn’t mean we get to write prescriptions for how gays should be, act, and even live their lives. Acceptance is all of us accepting who we are as we are. It seems many in the LGBT have a problem with that and it’s unfortunate.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 4:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BiTranswoman
      BiTranswoman

      The other Greg needs to lay off the coffee, get some rest, and stop trolling this blog post with biphobic hate speech.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 4:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @Lisa: You are insane. Robyn Ochs the leading bisexual activist in the country is bisexual and married to a WOMAN is this “bisexual privilege” or “heterosexual priveledge” you speak of? Seriously? Out bisexual people endure homophobia and biphobia. I am bisexual and held my boyfriends hand in public. One of the lead bisexual activists in my area is partnered to a man for Ten years!!! My girlfriend and I have had serious long term relationships withBOTH men and women cis and trans. WE are your peers.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 4:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BiTranswoman
      BiTranswoman

      Bi Pride-You’re another alt name of the troll that’s posting biphobia, only this time you’re actually pretending to be bisexual like you did with the name Hassan at post 113. No you don’t get any sort of perks or privilages from being bisexual, and no bisexual people don’t have attitude.

      If you want to see attitude try being a bisexual transwoman and asking a lesbian woman out on a date! Instead of saying no thanks the lesbians did not have to insult me and say how I was really a man, that I’m not a woman, and that because I’m bisexual that no lesbian should date me.

      Also nobody that’s bisexual who has been posting here has been saying anything about effeminate gay men or butch lesbians. If a woman is soft butch or androgynous I like that. I have however seen lots of femme lesbians make fun of butch lesbians, and butch lesbians who say how they really don’t like other femmes. With gay men I have noticed that a lot of masculine gay men flat out hate effeminate gay men, and I have met some effeminate gay men who don’t like masculine men.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 4:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BiTranswoman
      BiTranswoman

      Mat-There are lots of trolls on this thread or just one and it’s the other Greg and the troll/Greg will post under various names but it’s obvious that it’s them since they’ll write hate speech, biphobia, and make stuff up. Sometimes they’ll pretend to be bisexual like they did with the post that Bi Pride made and that Hassan made where they completely make up stuff that bisexual people on this blog have said but the only thing is no bisexual person who is posting on this blog said these things!

      Aug 6, 2012 at 4:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BiTranswoman
      BiTranswoman

      The monosexual privilege checklist

      1. Society assures me that my sexual identity is real and that people like me exist.
      2. When disclosing my sexual identity to others, they believe it without requiring me to prove it.
      3. I can feel sure that upon disclosing my sexual identity, people accept that it’s my real/actual sexual identity (rather than anything other than I said).
      4. I am never considered closeted when disclosing my sexual identity.
      5. Perception/acceptance of my sexual identity is generally independent of my choices of relationships, partners and lifestyle.
      6. It is unlikely that disclosing my sexual identity will be taken as a sexual offer or a sign of sexual consent.
      7. I can be confident that people don’t misname my sexual identity or use different identities to describe my identity when speaking about me.
      8. When seen with a partner I’m dating, I can be certain to be recognized as a member of my sexual identity group.
      9. I never have to worry about successfully passing as a member of my sexual identity group or as a member of my community.
      10. I do not have to choose between either invisibility (“passing”) or being consistently “othered” and/or tokenized based on my sexual identity.
      11. I am never blamed for upholding heteropatriarchy** or cisgender privilege because of the word that I use to identify my sexuality.
      12. My politics are not questioned based on the the word that I use to identify my sexuality.
      13. I feel welcomed at appropriate services or events that are segregated by sexual identity (such as “general” i.e. straight clinics, gay community centers, lesbian-only events, etc.)
      14. If I’m cisgender, I am accepted and celebrated as a part of “queer” space or movement. If I’m an ally, I am applauded for my support of the queer movement.
      15. If I’m cisgender, queer or gay people will not try to exclude me from our movements in order to gain political legitimacy for themselves. I am never accused of “giving the movement a bad name” or of “exploiting” the movement.
      16. I can feel sure that if I choose to enter a monogamous relationship, my friends, community or my partner will continue to accept my sexual identity, without expecting or pressuring me to change it.
      17. I needn’t worry about potential partners shifting instantly from amorous to disdain, humiliation or verbal violence because of my sexual identity.
      18. I can cheat on my partners or act badly in a relationship without having other people put this down to my sexual identity or have my behaviour reflect badly on all the people in my sexual identity group.
      19. I can choose to be in a polyamorous relationship without being accused of reinforcing stereotypes against my sexual identity group.
      20. I can fairly easily find representations of people of my sexual identity group and my lifestyle in the media and the arts. I encounter such representations without needing to look hard.
      21. If I encounter a fictional, historical or famous figure of my sexual identity, I can be sure that s/he will be named as such in the text or by the media, reviewers and audience.
      22. I often encounter the word I use to identify myself in the media and the arts. When I hear or read it, I am far less likely to find it in the context of its denial.
      23. I can find, fairly easily, reading material, institutions, media representations, etc. which give attention specifically to people of my sexual identity.
      24. I can feel certain that normal everyday language will include my sexual identity (“straight and gay alike”, “gay and lesbian”, etc.)
      25. If I am cisgender, I am far less likely to suffer from intimate violence.
      26. If I am cisgender, I am less likely to suffer from depression or to contemplate suicide.
      27. If I am cisgender, I am far less likely to suffer from poverty.
      28. I am more likely to feel comfortable being open about my sexual identity at work.
      29. I have access to information about the prevalence of STI’s in my community as well as prevention methods that are suitable for me.
      30. If I live in a city, I can expect to find medical care that will suit my own particular needs.
      31. I am less likely to risk my health by avoiding medical treatment.
      32. Wronging me on grounds of my sexual identity or sexual behaviour is taken seriously:
      * Those who wrong me are expected to know that it is hurtful, and are considered accountable whether or not they intended to wrong me.
      * I have easy access to people who understand that this wrong is unacceptable, and who will support me.
      * I have easy access to resources and people to educate someone who wronged me, if I am not feeling up to it.
      * If I am being wronged, I can expect that others who are around will notice
      33. When I express my sexual identity in my daily life, I can reasonably expect not to be considered unstable, unreliable, indecisive, untrustworthy or in need of help.
      34. I can worry about issues specific to people of my sexual identity group without being seen as self-interested, self-seeking or divisive.
      35. I can remain oblivious of the language, culture, history and politics of bisexuality and bisexual people without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
      36. I have the privilege of not being aware of my privileges.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 4:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Crystle
      Crystle

      @BiTranswoman: We’re not trolls because we disagree with you. You need to learn to respect differing opinions. This is my first post on this mess of a thread. I don’t even know why you all are discussing this when it’s about Mika! but since I did stumble on your post above about lesbians. First, your post perfectly suggests your blatant ignorance toward lesbians and pretty much resistence to even face that ignorance. Being a lesbian in today’s society comes with the burden of social structures that contrast what you as a BISEXUAL TRANS women can relate to. The lesbian women of today have traveled a process and some horribly ignorant people, most of which heterosexual men, to finally be where they are means they know who they are and what they want. For some, to be with a trans bisexual is not that. I wouldn’t be with one either, and of my circle of lesbian girl friends, I can confidently say they may not be interested in that scene either because one part based on preferences, but most based on the structures I spoke about earlier that you refuse to understand. How DARE you tell lesbians that they don’t understand you when you’re not willing to understand them? It’s all bout you huh? why do trans folks think because we’re lesbian they can approach us like we’re weak minded and don’t have a right to an opinion or a preference? because you’re feelings and rights are more worthy than ours? smh.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 4:37 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BiTranswoman
      BiTranswoman

      @Crystle: This is my first post on this mess of a thread.

      Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 4:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      i don’t usually get my hands dirty calling out trolls… but it really does appear to be the case that it’s just the one or maybe two multiple-personalitylacking-disorder cases with their sock puppets (hi lisa) who are responsible for the vast majority of this hate-fuelled clusterfuck.

      nevertheless, s’all good cuz some of you beautiful jedis transformed this darkness into words of lustrous diamond bright indestructible clarity which i will take and hold to the light the next time i’m doubting my own worth. thank you. particularly the trolls for making it happen.

      haha, bitches, trolls always lose in the end!

      Aug 6, 2012 at 5:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Art Smith
      Art Smith

      If anyone notices, the same posters here defending bisexuals are the very ones bashing a dead gay man on another thread, and also calling gay kiss ins sick, and making horrible comments about effiminate gay men. Just a word to the wise. Keep your eyes out open on this so called opressed bisexual community. They are a pretty sneakey bunch.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 5:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Zach
      Zach

      Art Smith and your other names S T F U you’re a troll and spreading lies and hate speech and biphobia about bisexuals, so you’re just as bad as homophobic people are.

      http://www.queerty.com/porn-star-adam-faust-passes-away-at-38-20120803

      Aug 6, 2012 at 5:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Madoc
      Madoc

      Wow! This thread is full of trolls posing as gay men and being biphobic with outright hate speech. Is this blog always like this and full of hate towards bisexuals?

      Aug 6, 2012 at 5:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JustJack
      JustJack

      BIPHOBIA? ya damn right there’s biphobia. you bisexuals are sick perverted FREAK SHOWS who cant settle for having sex with one partner much less ONE GENDER. it’s revolting to most of society. Society will NEVER accept your sexual obsession as mainstream. you are a greedy bunch who want to have sex with anything that has a pulse and want to be respected for it. YOU’LL neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr BE RESPECTED BY SOCIETY! no NORMAL parent in this society would EVER allow their child to be with a bisexual. thats why you bisexuals are all closeted and only reveal it to the the person you’re with, and 99% they RUN when you tell them should tell you how gross people find your way of life to be. sex, sex, sex that’s all you all think about. lol “biphobia” next it’s “polygamyphobia!”

      Aug 6, 2012 at 5:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Madoc
      Madoc

      @JustJack: BIPHOBIA? ya damn right there’s biphobia. you bisexuals are sick perverted FREAK SHOWS who cant settle for having sex with one partner much less ONE GENDER. it’s revolting to most of society. Society will NEVER accept your sexual obsession as mainstream. you are a greedy bunch who want to have sex with anything that has a pulse and want to be respected for it. YOU’LL neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr BE RESPECTED BY SOCIETY! no NORMAL parent in this society would EVER allow their child to be with a bisexual. thats why you bisexuals are all closeted and only reveal it to the the person you’re with, and 99% they RUN when you tell them should tell you how gross people find your way of life to be. sex, sex, sex that’s all you all think about. lol “biphobia” next it’s “polygamyphobia!”

      Go join the Westboro baptist church, they’d love to have you as a member there!

      If you’re actually a gay man why are you spreading lies, biphobia, and hate speech about bisexuals? We bisexuals do not do this to gay men or lesbians.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 6:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • USC Trojans Fan
      USC Trojans Fan

      @Madoc: Uhhh. Yes you do. You bisexuals are behind every single negative post about gay men on this site. Did you know most of the comments bashing the threesome male couple was from bisexual posters? the same bisexual posters flippantly throwing around terms like “biphobia” were responsible for calling the three men in a relationship together: gross, nasty, and not a real relationship. Did you know most of the bisexuals on hearing demanding respect are behind the incredibly insensitive posts about the gay porn star who died? Read their comments. How about the bisexuals who criticized gays kissing? yes, they were the very same posters above demanding respect for bisexuals. This has been a very enlightening post. I have gay friends who take jabs at bisexuals and I could never understand why, until realizing how hypocrtical and vicious the bisexual community is. I hope to make it a point to tell everyone I know about their actions and spread the word about the general POV of bisexuals. Not pretty.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 6:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Madoc
      Madoc

      @USC Trojans Fan: Uhhh. Yes you do. You bisexuals are behind every single negative post about gay men on this site. Did you know most of the comments bashing the threesome male couple was from bisexual posters? the same bisexual posters flippantly throwing around terms like “biphobia” were responsible for calling the three men in a relationship together: gross, nasty, and not a real relationship. Did you know most of the bisexuals on hearing demanding respect are behind the incredibly insensitive posts about the gay porn star who died? Read their comments. How about the bisexuals who criticized gays kissing? yes, they were the very same posters above demanding respect for bisexuals. This has been a very enlightening post. I have gay friends who take jabs at bisexuals and I could never understand why, until realizing how hypocrtical and vicious the bisexual community is. I hope to make it a point to tell everyone I know about their actions and spread the word about the general POV of bisexuals. Not pretty.

      Where’s your proof? You’re doing nothing but trolling and spreading lies, hate speech, and biphobia against bisexuals. I agree that people like you are no better than homophobes and people who hate all LGBT people.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 6:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      Undoubtedly, some of the most homophobic people on earth are bisexual people – or indeed in some cases homosexual people. However, virtually all such nasty individuals would deny point blank that they are anything other than 100% heterosexual.

      I believe therefore that it follows that those who actually biphobic – i.e. actually willfully hateful towards bisexual people rather than just being a bit unknowledgeable about bisexuality – are in most cases people who are deeply insecure in their own sexuality – i.e. they are most probably bisexual or homosexual people in denial about their sexuality.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 6:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Greg
      Greg

      Geri-I agree that the most homophobic people are closeted and in denial gays and lesbians as you’ve said.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 6:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Greg: Re: “Geri-I agree that the most homophobic people are closeted and in denial gays and lesbians as you’ve said.”

      Actually I didn’t say that. Not quite.

      I believe bisexuality is much more common than actual homosexuality. The vast majority of homophobic “straights” are perfectly capable of performing (and enjoying) heterosexual acts.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 6:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      i hate bisexuals too. they’re just…well…they’re so…agghhh…so godamn…unecesarrally. you know…like…i just hate the thought of him being all sweaty and manly with a woman squirming under him. simpering, moaning. hate it. yuck, the thought of his deep gutteral groans as he plunges in and out in and in and out and inoutinoutinoutinoutinoutinout….ahhhh!!! fuckinchristdammit, he’s disgusting! the thought of. me. him. ever. god i wanna be sick. just THE THOUGHT of that big thick muscular ass going up and down and up and down up down upanddownupanddown. NO. those. big. hairy. meaty. thighs… entangled in that bitches soft yielding flesh…think about it. don’t think about it! damn it makes me so…angryyyy…yeah. damn it. aghhh. shit. perverts.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 7:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jar Lion
      Jar Lion

      @Geri:
      “The vast majority of homophobic “straights” are perfectly capable of performing (and enjoying) heterosexual acts”

      that made no sense..? did you mean capable of enjoying homosexual sex?

      Aug 6, 2012 at 7:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • KiKi
      KiKi

      @PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: Well, considering that man is bisexual, that poor girl better RUN to the nearest STD clinic. and before she gets there, home boy will find the next living (or non living? y’all into that too?) thing and be acting out those same scenarios with them. bisexuality: the new frontier to just have sex on your mind 24 hours a day and get special recognition and praise for it.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 7:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LOL
      LOL

      Biphobia? really guys? Is that supposed to be like the new -IN- catch phrase?
      LOL it should be amusing to see this one not catch on.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 7:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @KiKi: i can’t argue with your reasoning ma’am. have a nice day now.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 7:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cali Greg
      Cali Greg

      Bisexuals, especially the ones posting above like Zach/David/Brandon, are some of the most judgmental puritans you will ever meet. They claim porn is disgusting, threesome are horrible, porn stars are the devil, gays sharing a kiss is offensive, gay clubs are wrong, having a social life that involves bars and dancing is not classy, yet bisexuality is basically the holy grail and should be worshipped. LOL you gotta love ‘the bis’ their level of self importance and judgment on everyone but themselves looks like it came back to haunt them. You all went around to the gay community with your noses in the air, judging gays for everything they do and pretending like your saints. You got a nice cold taste of your own medicine in return and couldn’t handle it and cried foul in a corner. I’m glad many posters these past few days in this post gave you all some serious flack. Well deserved. You’re not the saints you think you are. Heck, you’re bisexual!
      Stop being so judgmental and maybe you’ll earn some respect. Until then, you made your own beds…

      Aug 6, 2012 at 8:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @Cali Greg: “Bisexuals, especially the ones posting above like Zach/David/Brandon, are some of the most judgmental puritans you will ever meet. They claim porn is disgusting, threesome are horrible, porn stars are the devil, gays sharing a kiss is offensive, gay clubs are wrong, having a social life that involves bars and dancing is not classy, yet bisexuality is basically the holy grail and should be worshipped”

      citations, sweetie, citations. for each individual allegation you made. citations. it’s not hard to do. you *appear* cocksure about the factual bases of your assertions. so, citations. maybe you are indeed correct. if so i’ll concede defeat. but citations first. let’s be scientific about this. finally a chance to reveal the true motives behind these posters bi-phobia crusade.

      c’mon you know what i’m waiting to receive from you…
      give it to me big boy!
      x

      Aug 6, 2012 at 8:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @Cali Greg: “Bisexuals, especially the ones posting above like Zach/David/Brandon, are some of the most judgmental puritans you will ever meet. They claim porn is disgusting, threesome are horrible, porn stars are the devil, gays sharing a kiss is offensive, gay clubs are wrong, having a social life that involves bars and dancing is not classy, yet bisexuality is basically the holy grail and should be worshipped”

      citations, sweetie, citations. for each individual allegation you made. citations. it’s not hard to do. you *appear* sure about the factual bases of your assertions. so, citations. maybe you are indeed correct. if so i’ll concede defeat. but citations first. let’s be scientific about this. finally a chance to reveal the true motives behind these posters bi-phobia crusade.
      c’mon you know what i’m waiting to receive from you…
      give it to me big boy!
      x

      Aug 6, 2012 at 8:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert in NYC
      Robert in NYC

      I wouldn’t say that more heterosexuals are accepting of bisexuality any more than gay people are less accepting. Maybe hetero men don’t have a problem in regard to watching women getting it on but if a straight woman knew her boyfriend were bi, chances are she wouldn’t want to marry him. Most straight males as well as women can’t handle bisexuality let alone homosexuality. There are millions of bi men in straight marriages, most of them aren’t even out because they know they’d be heading for the divorce courts. Most married bi men I’ve had personal interaction with over the years are on the downlow, in fact, terrified of being found out. I even met one who believed that kissing and love-making are reserved strictly for women. I even met a couple of them who were passive and didn’t reciprocate in bed, yet believed they were not bi because of it, maintaining they were straight. We have to acknowledge that bisexuality is genuine and does exist. A lot of gay people believe it’s just a ploy to cover up their being gay, maybe a minority of them are, but it really isn’t the case for all of them in general. We should all support our bisexual brothers and sisters on their journey to self-acceptance. Coming out is never easy for many of us.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 9:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Summer Night
      Summer Night

      @BiTranswoman: You’re insane. Go get help, honestly. And stop posting under 10 sock accounts, it’s beyond pathetic at this point.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 9:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      Wow, I’ve been asleep since about midnight EDT and now I find a lot of people (or maybe it’s just one!) think I’ve been busy all night typing “biphobic” posts under various names! Nobody could do that without being a meth head, and as someone (correctly for once) points out, I’m making fun of meth heads on another thread. I didn’t realize though that it was “self-hating homophobic” to make fun of meth heads! Who knew.

      My ONLY problem with bisexuals, if it’s even a problem, is the dating thing because that’s a totally NEW bit of propaganda to insist that any gay person is “biphobic” who is reluctant to date a bi. No other group does such a ridiculous thing – dating and sex are very personal things and nobody gets to lecture other people on who they should WANT to date. It’s offensive when homophobic nutbag Christians do it and it’s offensive when bisexuals do it.

      But I doubt that MOST bisexuals really insist on that point. Brandon is possibly the only one here who really believes that. He seems to regard himself as a self-appointed spokesman for bi’s. “Gay culture” is so fractured and essentially, non-existent that it’s unlikely there is really some monolithic – or to make a pun, “bi-lithic?” – bisexual culture out there someplace.

      Having said all that, as I’ve said I actually still gave in on the point, on another thread, and I’m formally on record stating that I would be willing to date a bi again (if I’m ever single again). Ha ha, a hell of a lot of good that’s done me sine I’m still attacked as supposedly “biphobic.”

      I agree that bisexuals face a lot of prejudice. I support your rights and want to be an ally. But you guys (posting here on Queerty) never seem to complain about how heterosexuals are keeping you down. Your main or only complaint is something to the effect that “the LGBT community should be more inclusive,” which is a pretty meaningless complaint and is waste of your time because there isn’t really a “community” to bitch about and there never was.

      If bisexuals want to form your OWN groups, nothing is stopping you from doing that. Some poster(s) here act like LG people are literally preventing you from doing that. Uh, why would we be doing that? We care what groups you form? Form away. Sure, exclusively gay people aren’t going to understand you at every level. This is a shock to you?

      The bisexuals I meet in real life are much more practical, and are often delightful people.

      @Crystle: Your list makes a lot more sense than Brandon’s usual cut-&-paste, and rather contradictory list (which he posts here every single time there is a remotely bi story here). There IS a “monosexual privilege.” I get it, and will keep your list for reference.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 9:11 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      queerty wtf?! you block me for the word “c-cksure”! all this time and you STILL haven’t implemented a more rational moderation system. lazymuthafuckabitchbastards.

      AND STILL MY PREVIOUS POST IS AWAITING MODERATION — FOR NO GOOD EFFIN REASON. way to go to dismiss the perception that this blog is a tin pot operation with eff all accountability or consideration to your readers. and barely disguised contempt. this must be beneath y’all. sorry ’bout that.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 9:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TruthIsReal
      TruthIsReal

      Guys, don’t respond to the angry bisexuals. Some bisexuals I met can be cool, most are just caricatures of heteros. Bi women over sexualize themselves, bi men become a caricature of what they think a “macho” man is suppose to be, both overcompensating because they really don’t want to be seen as gay, yet they really love same sex …sex. And what you usually end up with is a person angry at the world, feeling like they don’t have a home, and acting extremely hostile to those, be it hetero or gay, who feel fully comfortable in their sexuality and don’t adopt a facade in mannerisms and styling to feel accepted. Bisexual men 9 out of 10 times are the ones who you’ll hear say pathetic phrases like “STR8 acting” and bisexual women basically often want to look like a beauty queen in their quest to prove “I’m not a butch dyke” It’s all so contrived with them. But whatev. Just ignore it.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 9:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @TruthIsReal: AWWW, somebody break your heart, boo?
      i wouldn’t do that — i’d spear it out with a rusty crotchet hook.

      N.O.M is really keeping you people busy aint it. anyways keeps you people out of the kiddies play areas.
      much love.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 9:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: They do not “moderate” the posts as they so piously claim.

      It took me awhile to figure out their “system.” For some reason “c*ck” is a bad word – on an LGBT site! – as are all its variations as in c…sucking, c…sure or even c…tail! My bf suspects that the last one is maybe part of the problem; the Queerty boys seem to drink a lot.

      But FUCK is okay. Go figure. Which maybe tells us something disturbing about the Queerty boys’ priorities?

      Aug 6, 2012 at 9:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID:
      yeah, i spelled “crochet” hook wrong. which obviously is a sneaky way of insinuating that i’m waaaay more masculine than y’all. i’m rubbing your noses in it! ;/

      Aug 6, 2012 at 9:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: So you’re the crochety Prince of Snarkness? :)

      Aug 6, 2012 at 9:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @the other Greg:
      hey, thanks. i always wanted to crack that code; it’s like some Linear B shit going on there. you missed a couple though: r_cist and c_unt which is a damn shame cuz they’re like my my favourite word pairing. :P

      Aug 6, 2012 at 10:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @the other Greg:
      hey, crotch-eaty you wanty; crotch-eaty i gotty. time and place baby. time and muthafuckin place. ;)

      Aug 6, 2012 at 10:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Toby
      Toby

      I’ve read the thread and I’m still confused. Is it OK or not for bi-guys to eat Chick-Fil-A?

      Aug 6, 2012 at 10:15 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Jar Lion: Re: ““The vast majority of homophobic “straights” are perfectly capable of performing (and enjoying) heterosexual acts”

      that made no sense..? did you mean capable of enjoying homosexual sex?”

      No, that’s not what I meant. By ” homophobic “straights” ” – I mean homophobic straight identified people who aren’t really straight at all but are bisexual :)

      If I had meant they were really straight I wouldn’t have used quotation marks.

      But then again yes. Because as I think they are really bisexual – they would be capable of performing and enjoying homosexual acts as well if they were to give it a go :)

      Aug 6, 2012 at 10:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Cali Greg: Dear Cali Greg, or whatever your real name is – the “these bisexuals are anti porn puritans” spiel isn’t really working for me you know, because considering that the majority of porn performers are bisexual – at least in their behaviour – it’s really just too damned ludicrous for words! :)

      Aug 6, 2012 at 10:37 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Timmeeeyyy!!!
      Timmeeeyyy!!!

      Thank you all for your comments about Mika coming out as gay. Good job staying on topic.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 11:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      @PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: Ha ha. You’re pretty c*cky!

      Aug 6, 2012 at 11:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @Timmeeeyyy!!!: don’t matter. were trying to break fuckin records here. deal. lol
      @the other Greg: your c*cky is missing an O .
      i got an idea …
      (no homo) ha ha.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 12:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Basch
      Basch

      @Scott Johansen: The only bisexual people I’ve ever known have also been truly f’ed up individuals. Not saying every bisexual person it, but a lot seem to be a bit…off. Maybe their minds are just TOO confused? lol.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 1:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
      PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID

      @Basch:
      must be all that luxuriating in that bisexual/heterosexual privilege. it will do that, i’m told. yes. cuz we know them fuckers have got it easy pimping the muthafucka outta that best of both worlds world. lol, oh yes, lol.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 1:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @the other Greg:
      My only issue really is the prejudice I have faced from both gay and straight individuals which has gotten me politically involved only so that when legal issues of harassment come I and others can do something about it. There is hardly a bi community to speak of as I earlier mentioned. And even meeting other bi people you find diversities that are often incompatible. Actually what I am doing now in my own life is creating my own community which consists of supportive gay, straight, bi, and trans people. BUT the most affirming community is the bisexual poly people – which seem to be increasing in numbers. I don’t think gay people must date me. I also don’t expect understanding, I am just beginning to understand myself. Politicizing bisexuality is like hearding stray cats – it is nearly impossible.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 2:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mc
      mc

      Poor Mika in which this thread was not about.

      Also I couldn’t quite get why people have a problem with bisexuals until I read this article by Robert Lopez who claims to be a bisexual who was raised by lesbian parents and how he’s oh so traumatized as a result. He was part of that Mark Regenrus study that’s now being used by the Right Wing to come out against gay parents & gay adoption. Now he’s the happy poster boy for Fundies.

      Read at the Republic Discourse “Growing up with Two moms: The Untold Children’s Views”

      Aug 6, 2012 at 2:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Carl
      Carl

      @mc: And honestly? thats been my experience with most bisexuals as well. They use their bisexuality as means to discredit gay people. I’ve seen it done before, I guess others have too? and it’s infuriating and makes all bisexuals look bad. I don’t know why or how it turns out bisexuals are usually in front of the anti gay crusade, but I’ve seen it many times before. I’ve also often seen bisexuals say “I’m bisexual and even I think marriage should be between a man and a women” that one is one you’ll hear a lot and it’s insane.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon
      Brandon

      Ignore the biphobic trolls who post under multiple names here. They’re insane and just as bad as homophobic people.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Max the Communist
      Max the Communist

      @Mat: I also remember reading somewhere that Freudian psychologists, in an effort to have Americans become more receptive to Freudian analysis, became more conservative to fit into American culture–hence the change from Freud’s more open acceptance of homo/bisexuality in men and the more homophobic variety of conversion therapy found in pre-1973 Freudian psychology.

      Aug 6, 2012 at 4:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BiTranswoman
      BiTranswoman

      More hate speech against bisexuals from trolls posing as gay men here: http://www.queerty.com/gay-couple-kiss-chick-fil-a-where-it-hearts-20120806/

      Aug 6, 2012 at 7:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      OK back to Mika, I know a very well known pop star who identifies as “gay” but when I knew him from 20 – 30 he was bisexual and had a lot of sexual relationships with women. Did he go through a “phase” the answer in NO he made a decision to reidentify: his boyfriend is bisexual and they both date women together and he jokes about the rumors of being bisexual. To call oneself bisexual is not exactly going to make you popular – in this case he made a strategic move – to be a popular musician.

      Aug 7, 2012 at 1:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Mat: George Michael?

      Aug 7, 2012 at 2:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mac
      Mac

      Geri-Let’s also not forget that a lot of gay and lesbian identified people are really bisexual. A large number of biphobic “gays” and “lesbians” are perfectly capable of performing and enjoying heterosexual sex acts, and they get turned on by the opposite gender at times. I have met a lot of gay and lesbian people identified people who told me how they’ve had sexual arousal to the opposite gender, and this would make them bisexual.

      I agree with you that there are a lot more bisexuals than people want to admit. I’ve read that bisexuals outnumber both gays and lesbians in studies that sociologists and sexologists have done-yet biphobic Gay Inc. wants to pretend that it’s not like this and frequently does engage in bisexual erasure.

      Aug 7, 2012 at 9:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      FOR THE RECORD, The Buzz adores the musical collective Fischerspooner, even though in a recent newspaper interview cofounder Casey Spooner scoffed at The Advocate for daring to label him bisexual. “I can’t comment on having a romantic” side,” Spooner told the Dallas Voice. “That would limit my public Image. If I did, my desirability would go down, like, 85%. I’m just trying to keep myself as f-kable as possible, so I’m whatever you want me to be.” However, based on Spooner’s 2002 comments to the gay Dutch magazine Butt, it looks like the musician, whose band has had hits in Europe, feels less insecure abroad. The Butt interview contains some very explicit details about Spooner’s first boyfriend as an 18-year-old college student in Athens, Ga: none other than REM’s front man, Michael Stipe, then 28. The Buzz can’t quote Spooner’s explicit description of his physical relationship with Stipe, but the affair was passionate. Really passionate. That must have been before Spooner’s desirability went down 85%.

      Like Stipe, Spooner has a bisexual past, who knows about his present. And like Stipe he will likely say one day “I am 80% gay blah blah blah. In his 20’s he was adamant about calling himself bi but his decision to relabel is personal and about appealing to a gay audience. It is up to him how he identifies so he is gay if he says he is.

      Aug 7, 2012 at 11:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Mat: Oh right. I don’t think Spooner and Michael aren’t together anymore.

      Anyway the Michael Stripe: “I am 80% gay blah blah blah” was a widely circulated misquote. He doesn’t identify with the word gay. He doesn’t identify as bisexual either. He (still) prefers queer.

      What he actually said as printed in The Observer interview was:

      ” “Not troubled, no. Not confused either. But I felt there just wasn’t a place for me. I hate and refuse to apply the term bisexual to myself. It doesn’t seem appropriate. It feels like just another label. For a time I was conflicted by how I was represented, and then Aids came, and that’s an era that has still to be spoken about in depth by people of my age. It was a very difficult time to be honest and frank about one’s sexuality. And a very scary time for people like myself, who were not able to be tested anonymously without some concern. I mean, under Reagan, lest we forget, there was a time when they were talking about internment camps for people who were HIV positive. To this day I can’t give blood to the Red Cross because I have sex with a man.”

      Would he still describe himself as “an equal opportunity lech”. He smiles, then turns serious again. “On a sliding scale of sexuality I’d place myself around 80-20, but I definitely prefer men to women. I had sex with, and enjoyed sex with, women until I met someone that I fell in love with, and who is now my boyfriend. That’s the only real news in the last 12 years, but when it’s a slow news day I get dragged out of some closet again.”

      For the record, Stipe currently lives in a spacious Tribeca apartment with his partner, Thomas Dozol, an art photographer.

      We talk for a while about the etymology of the word “queer”, and I ask him why he finds it more acceptable than the word “gay”. “I never identified with gay, that’s all. I will always honour anyone who had to make different choices, then stand by them, and I would hope that honour would extend to me and my choices as well. I’m talking about how one chooses to define oneself, the community within which one feels comfortable. That’s what it’s about, really. It’s the 21st century,” he concludes. “A lot of younger people have a much more it-is-what-it-is approach to sexuality. The black and white binary approach just does not work. So you find the terms that make you most comfortable.”

      http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2011/mar/06/michael-stipe-rem-collapse-interview

      These days if any woman under the age of 40 tells me she’s queer I pretty much assume she’s basically bisexual. With men the term remains somewhat more ambiguous.

      Aug 7, 2012 at 12:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Geri: Sorry TYPO! Meant to write: I don’t think Spooner and Michael are together anymore.

      Aug 7, 2012 at 12:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      I know they are not together I was referring to Casey’s current relationship (at least according to a mutual friend). I often say “Queer” as well but the reason I get on the bi band wagon has more to do with discrimination issues which still go on with regular gay joe who may have lived a gay life and then suddenly falls in love with a woman (this happen to a friend of mine) and the fact that I chose to just date who I liked and see what emerges, or a straight man I know who identified as straight dated all women and then realized his attractions to men at 38 and came out as gay. The problems in this area I found is even professional health workers are unfamiliar with bisexual people who have real human needs and concerns. it goes a bit beyond a gay or queer identified pop star that occasionally sleeps with a woman.

      The thing is both Cassey and I were put under deep scrutiny in the early 90’s for a bi identity. I had no idea at 21 I would end up dating more women and he more men. Eager to find other people “like me” I kept some track of fellow bi guys, most actually did end up in opposite sex relationships and 3 I know from the 90’s are in same sex relationships, the other two having had long term relationships with women before finding their long term male partners.

      Perhaps one of the deep issues for me around all of this is I as a young man sought out the gay community as a refuge as not realizing I would not fit very well. And then struggling to find older bi male mentors. I found them and they were not apart of the mainstream gay culture. Now with the Internet there are more resources.

      Aug 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nestor
      Nestor

      Spooner and Stipe are bisexual since if they were actually gay they wouldn’t be “80%” they’d be just gay.

      I know bisexual men who have told me how they’re 80% into the same gender.

      If you want to see biphobia in the LGBT community among gay men go here: http://s1.zetaboards.com/Datalounge_Refugees/topic/4886234/1/

      A lot of people on that site are gay men and foolishly claiming that bisexual men don’t exist or that it’s rare.

      Aug 7, 2012 at 8:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evan Martin
      Evan Martin

      Mat and Geri: There’s also biphobia here:
      http://s1.zetaboards.com/Datalounge_Refugees/topic/4886952/1/

      I have noticed how gays think that it’s perfectly OK to call things out as homophobic; but if you are bisexual and call things out as being biphobic or saying how it’s bisexual erasure and how gay men and lesbians do this and that it’s just as bad as homophobia gays will reply and say BS like “Biphobia doesn’t exist, you’re being too sensitive, you’re shoving your sexuality down our throats, it’s been shown/I believe that there’s no such thing as a true bisexual man etc.”

      Aug 7, 2012 at 8:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Evan Martin: & @Nestor

      Board Closed
      This board has been closed for Terms of Service violations.

      Anyway, a lot of biphobic gay men purport to believe that bisexual women exist but bisexual men don’t – or that it’s fine for women to be bi but wrong for men to be bi etc. etc.. In that respect they are just like a lot of homophobic straight men.

      Boys will be boys I guess.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 2:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @Evan Martin: I think that the issue with bisexual women was addressed in the late 1980’s. lesbians at that time acknowledged their existence but did not exactly include them. In a very real way this came out of the 1970’s as many women in the feminist movement had relationships with other women but were not lesbian. So you had a bisexual movement mostly led by women. As Susie Bright, in Sisters, Sexperts and Queers (1993) as the “Titanic paranoia” where “there are only six lesbians left on the life raft, and if we lose one more person, we’re all going to sink…it’s only threatening to those who are insecure, who feel as though we are losing our community”.

      BUT for men I think this whole thing works very differently. First I think there is often straight male and gay male tribalism – that is creating an identity out of not only what one is but what one is NOT. The blurring of those boundaries makes the tribes less distinct. A gay tribe, already in an oppressed situation, naturally would want to keep resources within the tribe. It is not a threat of loosing community it is a threat of the uniqueness of “gay” being difused. So classic gay icons like Wilde, Rauschenberg, Mapplethorpe etc. are immediately gay washed and their heterosexual relationships are erased are of little importance in the need for gay identity culture etc.

      I think a bisexual movement needs to go way beyond tribalism and identity politics towards an inclusive vision. Gay liberation has a teleological vision Of the acceptance of same sex love. Awesome! However it reaches this place by erasing what blurs the boundaries. A.K.A. “gay is not a choice – well except for those crazy bisexuals over there but let’s just ignore them. Oh there still there complicating the whole thing. Well then let’s just pretend they don’t exist then. Well that’s not enough let’s make it so they really don’t exist.” – and it has worked but it is propaganda and not reality.

      This was the old politics, something new is necessary and I am releaved to say is actually emerging.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 2:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Binary Star
      Binary Star

      @Mat: Thank you for a most lucid and fascinating take on of the subject. I’d be interested to read anything else you’ve written on this issue. Do you perhaps blog or could you recommend one exploring similar terrain? The extent of my exploration is confined to the Shybi-guys forum where often I’m struck by the generosity of spirit and compassion of it’s members and something at least approaching a sense of shared community.

      But you left me tantalised by this: “[s]omething new is necessary and I am relieved to say IS ACTUALLY EMERGING.”

      Please could you expand on that last point.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 9:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evan Martin
      Evan Martin

      Mat-There’s also bisexual.com if you can get past the cliquishness there. Shybi-guys forum is OK but the moderators and admins love to ban people and they do censor what people write there and they are power hungry.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 10:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @Binary Star:
      In 2001 I met Susie Bright at her house and observed her polyamorous lifestyle. She had a boyfriend/husband Jon. Her x-girlfriend partner was there. As well as her other female lovers, Jon’s other girlfriend and they talked about Jon’s boyfriend’s.

      I did not experience a poly community until recently and there are indeed a lot of openly bi guys and bi girls there – so there is an emerging space within that. However not all bi people are into poly. But even through online spaces like you mentioned or Okcupid someone can create their own community, or at conferences etc.

      What I feel now is a bisexual man or woman can ask themselves “how do I want to live” and in a major urban center pursue that lifestyle and get support. For me I did not actively pursue poly it pursued me. My girlfriend encouraged me. I suppose what I feel right now is I can create relationship structures a bit out of the box. Also I can create queer family structures out of the box. Bi people have the virtue of being non-existent meaning we have an opportunity to come into existence without being tied to gay or straight models.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 11:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the truth
      the truth

      I’m for open relationships but Polyamory is nothing but just another word for an open relationship, and most relationships between multiple people do not last or work out at all.

      Bisexuality has been known about for decades but I was around and out as bisexual in the 70s and still am today, and the bisexual “community” or political faction anyway has been around for a very long time. Then again Oscar Wilde was bisexual even if Gay Inc. wants to pretend that he’s gay; but they do the same thing with Walt Whitman who was also bisexual.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 3:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bryan
      Bryan

      @USC Trojans Fan: I’m not even gonna bother trawling through and addressing all the shite that’s been posted, but when some bisexual people post statements like that i.e. bi is actually the natural and gay/straight people have it wrong, it always amazes me how they can’t see the irony there.

      @Evan Martin: I’ve been on shybiguys.com and i’m not exaggerating but 80% of the site was filled with married men looking for secret hookups or married when wondering how to tell their wives about their other side.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 3:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geri
      Geri

      @Bryan: Re:”when some bisexual people post statements like that i.e. bi is actually the natural and gay/straight people have it wrong, it always amazes me how they can’t see the irony there.”

      Irony? Where precisely?

      The theory that everyone is really bisexual deep down in nature, and that exclusive heterosexuality and homosexuality are just social constructs, is at least a possibility worthy of consideration. Whilst the promulgation of the belief that everyone is either “straight” or “gay” (or at least they should be) is quite clearly just an attempt at social construction.

      Aug 9, 2012 at 5:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evan Martin
      Evan Martin

      @Bryan-Yet many of those same gays and straights will say BS and hate speech like “Bisexuality is rare!” “It exists in women but not men!”, “Bisexual men are lying when they say that they’re bisexual!”, “They’re really just closeted gays!” and all the biphobic BS and hate speech that Trojans Fan and all of his alternative names have spammed here on queerty.

      That’s funny I’ve been on shybiguys.com and they don’t allow you to flirt or exchange info for hook ups. No I’m not married but when I was on the site I saw people trying to hook up on there and they were banned. Most of the men I encountered on there who were married were in open relationships or open marriages if they were partnered to women, or they were married to either a man or woman and were completely monogamous.

      Aug 9, 2012 at 9:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stephen
      Stephen

      @Mat-We bisexuals have had a community since the late 60s and early 70s and it was formed by bisexual men and women, and it’s still going very strong in 2012. Of course you’ll meet lots of gay men and lesbians who are jealous of us bisexuals and will flat out deny the existence of a bisexual community, bisexual people, etc. and yes they do gay wash famous bisexual people like Oscar Wilde, Mapplethorpe, etc.

      Aug 9, 2012 at 9:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mat
      Mat

      @Geri:
      Gay, straight, and bisexual are all social constructs as Foucault points out. That does not mean that prior to 1860 that men and women who exclusively desired and had sex with the same sex did not exist but the word “homosexual” did not. And until Von Kraft Ebbing the word “bisexual” did not exist in it’s current usage. And a homo culture only existed in the most marginalized way before 1860. Any study of anthropology or Foucault’s History of Sexuality reveals the extent of how sexuality is constructed. We in a western judeo-Islamic-Christian culture must contend with an anti-sexuality culture where even heterosexuality is akin to the devil and a fallen world. The reality that sexuality is indeed constructed should not be seen as a bad thing, but a liberating thing. In fact it is the very basis of gay liberation to construct an alternative sexual culture. But there are a myriad of possible ways to construct sexuality. At the very root of gay or bisexual liberation movements is mideval romanticism aka Tristan and Isolde etc. which although hetero in content dictates that the individual has the right to “love whomever one wants”.

      Aug 9, 2012 at 9:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • WillUK
      WillUK

      Mat-There’s also gay washing with Freddie Mercury as we’ve seen in this thread.

      Aug 10, 2012 at 1:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ramon H.
      Ramon H.

      Why does it seem as though many gays and lesbians will claim that when a bisexual person is saying how we gays are biphobic that it’s a lie, that biphobia doesn’t exist, that biphobia is not as bad as homophobia is (this is not true I am a gay man and I do not like either biphobia or homophobia), that it’s not highly offensive to tell a bisexual person things like “If you’re a man and bisexual you’re really just gay; if you’re a woman and bisexual that’s OK but I’ll never date you since you’ll just wind up leaving me for the opposite gender!”, some gays and lesbians have been living under a rock since the mid 80s and think that bisexuals spread HIV to people of other sexual orientations, and that it’s perfectly OK for us gays to go on about what we think is homophobic but when bisexuals say what’s biphobic or bisexual erasure they’re told to STFU?

      Aug 10, 2012 at 1:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cory
      Cory

      Scary Russian Heather-Actually Freddie did go back to women after Mary Austin. He was in a long term romantic relationship with a German woman named Barbara Valentin in the early 80s.

      His “gardener/lover” Jim Hutton wanted to justify his tell-all book about Freddie detailing their sex life and drug use and tried to make it sound like there was a real bond and deep love between them when Freddie had numerous other relationships while being involved with him, including the long-term one with Barbara Valentin. Jim was hurt that the women got more of Freddie’s fortune than he did and desired to make some money on his book.He died of lung cancer in 2010.

      Aug 10, 2012 at 2:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Papi Balenciaga
      Papi Balenciaga

      What Biphobic, Transphobic, Misogynist, Raysict Gay people? I’m shocked.

      Aug 10, 2012 at 1:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cory
      Cory [Different person #1 using similar name]

      Agreed Papi a lot of gays are highly biphobic, transphobic, misogynistic, and even rac_ist. I have gay male friends who have even told me this about other gay men!

      Aug 10, 2012 at 3:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Luke
      Luke [Different person #1 using similar name]

      Mat and Geri There’s more gaywashing here: http://www.queerty.com/back-in-the-day-gay-singing-stars-from-the-golden-age-of-rb-20120810

      Aug 11, 2012 at 1:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SICK OF THEM
      SICK OF THEM

      bisexuals are all disgusting pieces of trash. There’s no such thing as “biphobia”.

      @Evan Martin go to bisexual playground and you’ll see all of the married men are bi and are looking for other men to screw. Get real.

      @Mac I would especially enjoy watching you commit suicide. You filthy bisexuals need to keep your disgusting fetishes away from everybody else.

      Sep 16, 2013 at 5:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SICK OF THEM
      SICK OF THEM

      All bisexuals should commit suicide.

      You know when everybody hates you, you’re obviously the problem! Straight people, Gay people, even transgenders hate you. You should all commit mass suicide, because nobody would really miss you.

      Hell, they’d probably just get on with their lives without worrying some sick bisexual deviant will try to convert them with its sick “everyone is bi” garbage.

      HANG YOURSELVES.

      Sep 16, 2013 at 5:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SICK OF THEM
      SICK OF THEM

      And really, every single comment by these bisexual SUBHUMAN BEASTS is posted at around the same time. It isn’t a coincidence, and they probably all have the same I.P. address.

      It’s laughable how low these disgusting bisexual SUBHUMANS will sink… but it’s not surprising at all.

      Support for Gays is rising as more people begin to open their eyes to the bisexual SUBHUMAN DEVIANT schemes, and bisexual inc. is aware of this (and they fear it). bisexuals are perverse mockeries of the human form and MUST be ERASED.

      Sep 16, 2013 at 5:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SICK OF THEM
      SICK OF THEM

      One last thing: LMMFAO @ “[Different person #1 using similar name]” GET REAL!

      We all know you’re the same person! Either you PERVERSE bisexual DEVIANTS all share a braincell, or you’re one dumb mother f u c k e r.

      Lastly, bisexuality isn’t a sexual orientation, IT’S A FETISH. BIOLOGY doesn’t even prove you sick perverts exist. There are differences between gays’ brains and heteros’ brains, but there were no bisexual brains to be found.

      Probably because bisexuals have none, other than their perverse life choices, but that’s besides the point.

      KILL YOURSELVES, BISEXUAL PERVERTS! NOBODY WILL MISS YOU. WE’LL ALL BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU. :)

      Sep 16, 2013 at 5:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SICK OF THEM
      SICK OF THEM

      PS–I’m glad mercury died of AIDS! ALL of you bisexual perverts deserve to die the same way!

      Sep 16, 2013 at 5:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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