Remember how you sometimes run into people you grew up with, and they’re like, “Dude, I had no idea you were queer!” and you are like, “Bro, the signs were there all along…” If so, this guide is for you.
If you did any of these 18 things as a youngster, guess what? You are probably queer today!
1. Accidentally wandered into the men’s underwear section when your parents took you to the store
2. Watched Britney’s “Me Against the Music” video over and over and over again, so you could learn the choreography
3. Thought Lizzie McGuire was a ~true~ style icon
But also, you would die for Fi from So Weird
4. Rewatched *that* scene in Cruel Intentions
5. Waited until your parents went to bed to download ahem, “adult content” off Limewire
6. Learned how to catfish through sketchy chat rooms on Yahoo or MSN Messenger
7. Didn’t dare let anyone check out your iPod, in fear they’d discover all the “gay” music on there
8. Rocked a sweater vest, unironically
9. Were so starved for queer representation that you convinced yourself you had a crush on Jack, the gay character on Dawson’s Creek, even though you didn’t
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10. Chose the female character in any video game, ever
11. Pretended you didn’t like Sex and the City
12. Pretended you didn’t like Destiny’s Child
13. Had your gay awakening when you read this book (and the entire series, tbh) even though you were only, like, nine
14. Listened to Nelly Furtado’s “I’m Like a Bird” on repeat
15. Polly Pockets were your ride or die
16. Thought you could have sex with no lube after watching Brokeback Mountain, only to discover later you most certainly cannot
Watch the scene on YouTube.
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17. Played with Furby’s because they understood you in a way no one else did
18. …and finally, if you know who these people are, congrats! You are 100% gay.
Okay, obviously we couldn’t include everything! Tell us what we missed in the comments.
lessthan
I’m still mad about #18. Scorching video, something the internet remembers long after and neither ever comes back. (i just checked and it looks like the studio doesn’t even offer it for viewing anymore, but we still remember.)
WillParkinson
What video is it? The guys look familiar, but can’t place them.
fishpaw13
I think I remember the guy on the left was friends with the guy on the right. Lefty bottomed for right for the “first” time. From Sean Cody.
WendellE
Left is “Jess”, right is “Bailey”.
cjmforfun
That video is still around.. I just saw it somewhere, Boyfriend TV maybe? Yes it was very good, and worth seeing again.
SoloMcDaniel
Video is still online. Easily found on MyVidster
Mikeylikesdp
Yes, is on MyVidster. I found by googling “sean cody” “jess” “bailey”. Didn’t know if posting link to video in comments would be allowed, so I didn’t, but that’s one way you can find it. For me, was not THAT great compared to others, but I guess for back then, maybe it was, and of course they are very hot in typical Sean Cody fashion.
prttymn33
Spanking with a paddle, right? Not a convincing “first time “
rand503
Gay chat rooms on AOL. I made lots of friends who gave me the courage to come out.
DeaconMac
Nice of you to remember. I was the person who started those AOL chat rooms and, later, organized GLUE (Gays and Lesbians United Electronically) to successfully lobby AOL’s founder, Steve Case, to let us use “gay” and “lesbian” in the names of those chat rooms (they had prohibited them previously).
abinva
DeaconMac – If you are who I think you are, you did so much for the gay community and not just in the DC area. Thank you for all of it!
nokkonwud
Wow….a hundred years ago I was one of the set denizens of Gay&Lesbian no number chatroom.
Man About Town
I never did any of those things, which makes sense, because I’m GAY, not QUEER.
I do find #16 amusing, though!
DavidIntl
I fully agree. There is almost nothing in this list that speaks to me. For me it would have been – a few years earlier – getting subtly tricked by their ads into buying a Soloflex, without really knowing why.
Skip
Easy to miss but Ennis spit onto his fingers – lube but (ouch!) not much. I didn’t look up the page, but Annie Proulx makes a point of this in the original story.
Stefan
Totally Soloflex. I think I bought a cheap knockoff, though.
Doug
Accidentally wandered into the men’s underwear section when your parents took you to the store?? How would that be something gay??
linedrive
@Doug: accidentally on purpose because of the packaging. Sorta the in-person version of looking at the men’s underwear section in the Sears catalog.
McSteve
“I’m GAY, not QUEER”, he commented…on Queerty
DrJones
For me, it was #1, #5, and #18. I know it’s Sean Cody for #18, but what video?
bsg1967
“Bailey’s new f#@k buddy”
D P
@bsg1967 – thank you..!! I’m going to look it up..
tjack47
#1 and #14. I’m 60, so I feel like that makes me a 6 on the Kinsey scale.
Rikki Roze
Different generation I guess. Again, I’m clearly not in Queerty’s readers’ age group. Primarily promoted to a much younger crowd.
mateo
I hear you. Lizzie McGuire and Furby’s — really? By the late 90s both of my parents were long since dead and I was well into my 40s.
linedrive
I think sweater vests are more nerdy than gay. I also think they’re pretty adorable. And yes, I am a gay nerd so what do I know? 🙂
thisisnotreal
gay nerds are HOT so you rock that sweater vest buddy!
SDR94103
stereotypes.
SoCalDave
I did literally nothing on this list except the chat rooms. I’m guessing the person who came up with this list wasn’t actually alive back then.
Claytonisahobo
This list is not for my age group, however I am here to inform you, you in fact can have sex without lube. may not be ideal but you actually can. How do I know, I f*cked my ex once without lube. it was his idea. We only did that once however so I guess he got what he wanted out of it the first and only time…lol
And yes “spit” in Brokeback..also not ideal but it can work, or at least that’s what my old room-mate told me.
Baron Wiseman
If it ain’t spit, it ain’t love. 🙂
Saskatchewan
Number 4 is number 1 on my Gaydar!! Still so HOT in 2023
mecmass
I so agree with Saskatchewan. #4 was a total total turn on. I think I became obsessed with Ryan Philippe after seeing the scene with his perfect naked ass.
D P
What scene is that? I searched on YouTube hoping to find the pool scene with Ryan Phillippe in the movie, and he’s there with Reese Witherspoon. Is that the scene?
Pier
How dare you.
nm4047
Wonder whatever happened to Bailey. My recollection of this clip was Bailey was just another closeted gay.
minorheadlines
He was a MMA fighter for a while, then ofc his past came to haunt him and he dropped from the scene
DMos
@minorheadlines That was Danny, not Bailey. Different guy.
Archbishop763
Really, this is the indicator of gayness? The only things on this list that apply to me are the sweater vest and the Furbie (I had 2 of them). Although, I did see Brokeback Mountain (he used spit for lube which works if you use enough). I grew up mostly in the 70’s and early 80’s so that is probably why most of the list doesn’t apply to me.
bachy
Polly Pocket Unicorn Forest Compact Tea Party-Themed Playset with Glitter Horn.
Bengali
I didn’t go for the underwear section but I did walk around the store looking for the hot clothes modeling pics with the very hot guys, most in their late teens. So hot.
And seeing the pic of Ryan Phillipe reminds me of how many times i’ve watched the extended version of movie, “54” where he and Breckin Meyer make out. It’s a short but very hot scene.
D P
Okay, that scene I do know. I had to buy the director’s cut of 54 just for those two.
LeeFree
9 out of 18. Am I an Uber-Gay? I hope so!!
desertguy
Not a one! Guess I am really not gay! LOLOLOLOL
nm4047
assuming you were an adult or teenager in the 90’s then yes, you failed the gay test, hand back the card & leave now.
Mike Hunt
Ah, yes, that scene from Brokeback Mountain. My dorm roommate, both of us college freshmen, couldn’t get home fast enough from the movie theatre to test that out. We “did” each other that night, and we were (are!) quite well-endowed. Let’s just say we both had to sit delicately for a week after trying out that little experiment.
Terrycloth
Reading this I was thinking is this a real list or made up..? Not one apply to me..it dosent might be gay , probably gay , you ARE gay or you’re a screaming Queen….that would have been funnier…still I’m glad im.not alone a few of you.didnt do any of these either
mala
I remember a couple of these. Funny list.
As for the two guys, yep, I remember them. That was back when pornstars were truly the guys next door or the football jock that you wanted to do so desperately, not the fame whore pornstars today who only became pornstars because they couldn’t cut it in hollywood and that was the only notoriety they can get. Most of the pornstars from that era are still anonymous and don’t have a social media presence at least not as their stage name.
Prowelsh56
ZERO – wow! that’s great NOT Queer….a GAY male….as in LBGT some of us are still around.
nm4047
Zero! Are you a lesbian?
dannysax
I can relate to 1, 5, 8, & 17. since I used to have 2 sweater vests and a Furby. I was an adult when I used Limewire for porn. But the rest never even watched (except for Brokeback Mountain, and I have used spit-lube). I do remember GAY.COM and AOL chat rooms, etc. When I started with porn it was more of a Tom of Finland type I saw in the porn movies (Jack Wrangler, the guys in the Joe Gage trilogy movies, with a few 70s twinks thrown in (Brain Hawks, Joey Stefano). I still have several of those vintage porn DVDs.
iluvdix69
what is sad is this–people being labeled like this and the thing is none of them is me—that doesnt make me less gay than anyone else–i listen to heavy metal–i dont mind getting my hands wet– andall the crap about furbees–what the heck is a furbee–
i am more manly than feminine–again that doesnt make me straight
i hate britney spears–destinys child—nelle furtado
brokeback mountain no lube scene–maybe he spit in his hand and rubbed it on his rod as he went into the guy–or be like thousands of men out there–gush alot of pre-c*m which definitely makes the best lube
so dont label guys like me saying 1 through 18 definitely means i was gay–nothing made me gy but my hormones in need of that manly touch
JJinAus
Why are my comments not published? I have seen some strong anti-gay comments on this site. I am gay, proud and not in the least bit mean spirited.
bachy
How to make sure your comment doesn’t end up in “Review.”
There’s a Queerty system glitch which occurs when you “Click to Edit” your Comment during its 5-minute delay period. It will always end up in “Review.” Like, forever.
If you want to change/edit what you’ve written after hitting “Post Comment”, simply DELETE your post-in-progress during its 5-minute delay period and submit an entirely NEW post. Make sure your text is correct BEFORE hitting “Post Comment” and DO NOT “Click to Edit.”
ALSO, it’s best to avoid most common English curse words, which automatically cause your post to end up in “Review.”
Hope this helps.
djbear
Dialed into BBS’ as that was where you could discuss things you were interested in.
Cozmo2
18. is on playvids.com
moviemag
That I did a number of these things does not prove I am gay, but it does provide a great deal of evidence that I’m old…
Ruggerbugger
This article is literally a hate crime. A man who is gay is not necessarily ANY of these things, and perpetuating the idea that gay men “choose the female character” in a video game, as well as all of the “funny” comments in this post… Complete bullshit and what many people fight against every day. This is great site. I love almost all of your content. But this article is pure bullshit, and anyone involved in its writing, approval or posting should be ashamed of themselves. Not good, Queerty. Not good at all. Please be better.
Magnus1999
For me, it was the underwear section in the sears catalog. I found a stack of them in my parents house, and kept a couple. I actually preferred it over porn. Yes, I like Destiny’s Child. And yes, I like that Sean Cody scene. But that’s all I can relate to on this list.
BekBek
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GayEGO
Well, I haven’t changed since I was born and as a kid, we just called it fooling around with other boys.
I threw it aside and went into the Navy, I learned more about being attracted to guys, and in 1962 I decided to meet a guy who would be my partner for the rest of my life. I did, we were together for 57 years, married 15 years, and now I am a widower!
D P
I’d add this to the list: Ranked the movie “The Beastmaster” with Marc Singer as a definite buy to add to my library…
shanek
Watching Beastmaster on TBS over and over again sealed the deal.
Man About Town
Yo, mcsteviekins: I didn’t name this site. But I do enjoy it!
klb58495
Absolutely HATE Sex and the City, Destiny’s Child and Nelly Furtado! Does that mean I’m straight now?
sterlings8
How about a early crush on Speed Racer and his older brother Racer X…