Dom top. Fem top. Vers top. Total top. These are all important terms in the lexicon of top culture.
Related: 25 tweets that perfectly define bottom culture
To help paint a clearer picture, we’ve compiled 25 tweets that explain everything one needs to know about being a top.
So, without any further ado…
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
1.
How do you know if a twitter gay is a top?
He'll tell you. At every opportunity.
— Heidi Cucumber (@LordJusticeHomo) October 21, 2018
2.
#TopPrivilege is being able to arrange a hookup after dinner plans … meanwhile the bottom: pic.twitter.com/KnocxaT3JE
— Vin (@vintesta) May 24, 2018
3.
Top culture is wearing skinny jeans to show off those thick thighs. https://t.co/8SvSZu0lVM
— ??(????)???? (@LuaChique) November 6, 2018
4.
#TopPrivilege is having this emoji ?
— Messiah Carey (@kellyclarksus) June 16, 2015
5.
There’s two types of gays: total tops, and everyone else. Everyone else is better.
— Sean Applause (@Sean_Applause) April 16, 2018
6.
Tops will never know the struggle of going to an orgy, but having to start getting 'ready' hours before! #topprivilege #teambottom #teamlocked #BBBH #RAWISLAW
— Goodlad (@Goodlad84) September 15, 2018
7.
Me: I'm officially a total top now.
Gay Twitter: pic.twitter.com/yrv3ArTbDE
— Flat Stomach Energy (@Gay_Mac_Genius) March 21, 2017
8.
Use your privilege to help bottoms fight for equality, tops are the white women of gay men
— NOV 14 (@dayionh) August 20, 2017
9.
WeHo gays be like Masc 4 Masc, total TOP… pic.twitter.com/4wxLT31izP
— WeHo Confidential (@WHconfidential) June 30, 2016
10.
In gay sex, the man on the bottom is the Sodomite & the man on the top is the Sodotite
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) September 19, 2018
11.
I just ate chilli con carne before the underwear party. That my friends is #TopPrivilege and I will not topologise for it.
— Much (@mtwhel) August 7, 2017
12.
#Gay culture is hearing the beginning of 'Edge of Seventeen' start and gay screaming.
Top culture is hoping it's that song.
Bottom culture is hoping it's Bootylicious.— Jason Swen (@Dollboy1993) September 7, 2018
13.
New guy on grindr: « domtop »
The gays:
— Mathieu ? (@mth_bjn) November 7, 2018
14.
Im gonna use my #topprivilege to get a discount on this lube
— rigga morris (@itmeobed) May 29, 2018
15.
Real talk, I think it's sad how in the gay world, everybody gets to exist except us total tops. Nobody else gets the shade we get on a reg.
— Scrooge McPhuck (@Skottfrii1) January 19, 2017
16.
Sorry but who actually shits in a gay club. Total tops, I guess???
— I have no soul-stice (@DjudjDjoodi) February 4, 2018
17.
I swear #NoShade, for every 1 #TotalTop there’s 30 #VerseBttms & 20 #VerseTops, & no joke 50 #TotalBttms!!! Lol (like for real?!)!
— Kinzel Fabulous (@Iamkinzel) February 19, 2018
18.
"strictly tops" advising bottoms how to clean up is like men telling women not to have an abortion. There is a sense of entitlement that comes with "tops" that makes them problematic for me, a versatile dude will understand the intricacies of bottoming, the pain, the pleasure.
— gay by the pound (@dicked_nigeria) October 21, 2018
19.
everyone keeps talking about TOP, what about BOTTOM? #TopPrivilege #SupportYourBottom
— party for michael (@yasmichaelyas) November 18, 2015
20.
"According to top privilege, many who identify as Bottom believe they do all the work (the prep work is a little mind-blowing). They also feel some Tops treat Bottoms like second-class gays.
— Rosier (@Lestrange_Noir) April 26, 2018
21.
When a total top walks into the gay bar pic.twitter.com/1BBRyxlySt
— Phillip Henry (@MajorPhilebrity) November 7, 2016
22.
-Preparing for Gay Sex- Tops: buy condoms, stretch Bottoms: Fast for 90 days, cleanse yourself in the purifying waters of Lake Minnetonka
— Doof-kun ? (@Electivirus) October 14, 2017
23.
Top privilege is bypassing the “gays can’t drive” stereotype by virtue of not being a bottom. All this aside I still can’t fucking drive
— Ella? (@AylaStock) June 23, 2018
24.
Gays who say they’re “total tops” until you get them in bed and then all they want you to do is play with their butthole pic.twitter.com/oHrflFxfir
— Corey (@corey4evrfamous) February 2, 2018
25.
There is no such thing as a total top every gay will or have bottom for someone. ?????
— Fitz Alexander (@FitzAlexander_) October 6, 2017
Brian
Top privilege? Good lord.
Wicked Dickie
Looking through those tweets, few observations 1. The chilli con carne top guy is most likely always dirty but always wants the bottom to suck his dirty d@ck.
2. If you sh@t in a gay club bathroom, you should immediately go home and not revisit that club for at least 2 months.
3. I’m a top and I still keep my butthole clean at all times. I eat ass and I love my ass eaten.
Large Hardon Collider
WTF is the “‘gays can’t drive’ stereotype”? Is that a euphemism for something (I can’t even guess what) or does it mean literal car driving?
mcs
Bottoms can’t drive, apparently…
I can drive, but I can’t park. Does that make me vers? 😉
Geeker
Top privilege is not having to listen to whiney bottoms complain about top privilege.
Doug
Thank you.
batesmotel
Amen.
dean089
“Top Culture,” “Top Privilege,” seriously, who sits around making this shit up? How about everyone just shut up about all these stupid labels and divisions and just be people.
jack512
Total tops may be pricks but those pricks keep us bottoms happy. We make use of those pricks when we need em and ignore em when we don’t.
Rock-N-RollHS
Marveling at my privileged fingers (I have them!) type with one hand (more privilege) while my privileged tongue (I have one!) eats privileged ice cream (I can afford it) after my semi-privileged eyes (need glasses, oh well) just read this post by some time-privileged Graham G. (but probably financially only semi-privileged, since he’s forced to write this post to pay his subway fare). Ain’t life grand! Ah, the privilege!
crowebobby
I was sexually active for 50 years in New York, Paris, Rome, San Francisco and Berlin and I never heard of all this top/bottom obsession till I started reading The Advocate and Queerty on line 20 years ago. Not saying it wasn’t around; I just never encountered it.
Esscourt
Do you want a medal or something?
Large Hardon Collider
There’s something to what you say. The current young generation – you know, the generation that just HATES labels – has become weirdly committed to the top/bottom labels. Maybe this arises from their meeting via apps instead of in person. In the past, meeting in person led to more spontaneous actions that were not talked about much, and obviously not written down ahead of time. On apps they tend to define their sex lives pretty strictly in print (often in excruciatingly fine detail!) so it’s hard to do anything outside those parameters.
Creamsicle
Too many young gays let porn and TV do their thinking for them. I don’t entirely blame them. Gay spaces are disappearing because gays now meet and interact online more often than offline.
Granted, I live in a smallish city a few hours from LA. The only gay men I really interact with outside of hookups is a closeted bi friend, my boyfriend, and some of his gay friends. There’s no community and no room to just explore without the top/bottom labels.
Guys meeting through apps want to know what they’re in for before they commit to meeting up. And their expectations are shaped largely by porn, because that’s one of the few things that gay guys have in common any more.
bonbon
What even is this shit.
Yooper
Ditto
mr guy
“Top privilege” *facepalm*
There was a time back in the day under the old management when this site would poke fun of such cringy arrant nonsense.
tham
Yep.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Queerty needs to fire Grenmore, he posts most inane divisive threads….
OzJosh
Seriously, this pernicious nonsense does more harm to young gays coming to terms with their sexuality than a lot of homophobia. At least the homophobia is obviously hateful and discriminatory; this is just nasty.
johnozed
I thought this was pretty funny.
surreal33
Gay media, gay television, gay movies, all portray and sell a narrative of femininity as the ideal for gay men.
Yet the majority of gay men claim they want a masculine man?
Aires the Ram
@surreal33: I think that old paradigm of separating men who lean towards women, and men who lean towards men, is beginning to die a much deserved death. It was never right for society to separate a subgroup of men from their brothers, and instill fear, hatred and loathing into the larger group that leans towards women. It also separated them to the point that they couldn’t be intimate with their best friends and buddies, they had to marry one woman and never have sex with anyone else again. It destroyed intimate friendships between these men to the point where if they went off with just their buddy(s) for the weekend, or out to dinner, or on a vacation, or (gasp!)-hugged or otherwise touched each other, scandal and the horrible suggestion of homosexuality was in the air, and could ruin them. The social paradigm of separating homosexual leaning and heterosexual leaning men, which began as “gay identiy” in the late 1800’s, has been harmful to all men, no matter what gets them hard. I for one, don’t like to be around any guys who identify with the “gay community” any more. They fall into this separation paradigm, hook, line and sinker. You must dress a certain way, talk a certain way, go to only certain places/venues for vacation, you must vote a certain way, in other words, you must march in lock-step to whatever that so-called “community” demands this week, or you are quite simply, out of the group. I look at them now, after many years of observation, as complete sheep, lemmings, all being led to the cliff to jump off. How dare you have an opposing position on ANYTHING, they’ll scream at you…..I simply have decided that they are all toxic, are toxic to me, and I no longer identify as ‘gay’. I identify with what I am, a ‘man’. Nothing more, nothing less. And yes, I’ve taken the scissors to my ‘gay card’, put it in an envelope, and have mailed it back to them…….I have no use for it, or them.
Wolfie
Dear Queerty: It may be good for clickbait. But your site and Graham Gremore are become the laughingstock of LGBT websites. #JustSaying
Lacuevaman
well its still a good place for trolling the nazi queens who believe the sissification of men is the future
crowebobby
Esscourt: No, but perhaps the other gays and straights I met back then deserve one. The day I accepted that I was attracted to boys, I accepted that nothing I did in bed was going to make me any more or less queer.
dondon
What a bunch of bullshit but then that’s all this sight is good for
Creamsicle
Sodotite and topologize made me chuckle. I just hope none of these people are serious. I’m vers/bottom and I love me a good top. Anal sex requires planning and/or douching. That’s just how it is.
If you hate the prep then don’t bottom, or bottom less frequently. You’re still both guys. There are other ways for gay men to have sex. Anal is not the end-all-be-all of gay sex.
batesmotel
This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. It managed to find every cliche stereotype possible. I’ve never heard of any of this either. I’m definitely far away from gay land I guess.